A/N: This chapter will be mainly about Sehun and Luhan. If you have forgotten what happened (because wow I update really fast..*sarcasm*),  you amy read up Chapter 20 here where Xiumin confesses and all hell broke. lol jk. basically xiumin was sehun's secret admirer after all and his aim was to separate Luhan and Sehun. What happened next? 

You'll have to read this chapter <3 enjoy! 

NOBODY's POV~

Sehun sat down next to Luhan. The two were unusually quiet, eating their lunch. Amidst the noise and chaos around them, Sehun could only stab his food, staring blankly. As calm as he may have looked, his thoughts were far from calm. 

He thought of why hasn't he gotten anymore letters from luhan lately. Did he do something wrong? 

No. He was sure he gave hints to Luhan that he definitely want him to confess. 

Did he say something wrong? 

No. Everything has been quite normal. They talk, they laugh, they hang out...everything's been normal so far last week. 

But something is off today. 

Sehun notices Luhan who wasn't touching his food either. He got too engrossed in his thoughts he nearly didnt realize he never actually spoke with Luhan about anything since they sat down at the table. 

Luhan looked as if he was not there at the moment. Like he dreaded being beside Sehun. 

Sehun panics, blinking his eyes rapidly in disbelief upon the idea that just came into his thoughts. 
It couldn't be. There was no way it was happening when it hasn't officially started yet. 

"He couldn't have...lost interest in me that fast, could he?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luhan's POV~ 

"Sehun, your secret admirer was actually xiumin..." 

Aisshhh thats not it. If I told him it was Xiumin, what if they end up together? 

But Xiumin doesnt like him. 

"Sehun, your secret admirer was Xiumin..I hate to say this but he doesnt like you...so please forget about your admirer...." 


Ahhhhhh really. What am I thinking. 
This doesnt make any sense. 

"Sehun, forget about your admirer, I found out he was cheating on you. I wont tell you his identity because..." 

"because he is your friend like he previously said and it might ruin your friendship. So...just move on...and..and..love me instead." 

This. Is. Not. Gonna. ing. Work. 


He will definitely ask me why would I want him to forget the guy and eventually ask who it was.

I cant tell him It was Xiumin! Though he did bad but..sigh. I still cant bring myself to tell who was behind it. 

"Luhan?" I blinked and I instantly got back to reality when a hand waved vigorously in front of me. 
"If you're done eating, can we go check my locker? I Just need to check my book or something." Sehun said.

Lame. Since when did he even bother about his books. He's probably gonna check the letter if he got one.
"Are you coming or not?" Sehun asked. "A-ah y-yes. I'm coming. Of course." I stood up and left the chaotic cafeteria with Sehun. 
 

~~~~~~
We just finished our study program. Sehun walks next to me with a heavy heart that night. He still didn't get any letters. And it bothered him terribly. 

"Don't be sad anymore will you?" I stared at him, grimacing at his face which looked really hurt and bothered. I felt pain deep inside of me when I saw him hurting. 

"Luhan, why?" he asked as he stopped walking. It was a little late and the others were probably back in their dorm. Probably already asleep. Yet me and Sehun are still out, walking slowly like snails. 

"Sehun, I told you didn't I? Maybe your secret admirer was busy or something. Cheer up!" I patted his chin, hoping it will annoy him enough to forget about his admirer at the moment. 

It didn't work. Instead he gave me a look of which gave me chills. Sehun found a bench nearby and went for it. I followed him. 

"Will you just forget about him, okay? There's a lot of guys out there. I mean, girls. Maybe...maybe he wasn't worth your time. He might have moved on and pursued other guys. Perhaps he doesnt like you anymore." 

Once again, he gave me that piercing look with his eyes. It was much worse than earlier. This time, he looked terribly upset. Ahhh my mouth. Deep inside, I wanted to run away and sew my mouth, never to speak again. But there I was, glued on the ground, standing and facing Sehun. Receiving his deadly stares willingly. 

Before my feet lost its strength due to Sehun's glare, I noticed his eyes softened and glistened. Tears formed. 

I swear It hurts like hell when I witnessed one tear slowly travel down his cheek.  It hurt most when I couldnt do anything to stop that from falling. 

In my fantasies, I swore I would kill anyone who makes him cry. Ive always daydreamed that Sehun would only look at me with his beautiful eye smiles. There was no room for a situation like this. And when it did happen, I really do not know what to do. 

For goodness sake Luhan, he is crying and you are simply standing there. Do something like give him a tissue. That's what always happens in movies isnt it? 

But I still couldn't seem to move. Why is Sehun crying? Does he love Xiumin that much? Have I said something bad?
Did I make him cry?

I did...this? 


NOBODY'S POV~~~~~



"Sorry." 
"what for?" Sehun quickly wipes his eyes. 

"What I said earlier. I just thought, you shouldn't dwell on him so much." Luhan softly speaks, then carefully sits next to Sehun. 

"Sometimes people move on. It may sound unfair, but feelings are just feelings. We just...well, feel them. But we can't control them." 


"So you're telling me he lost his love for me, before it even started?" Sehun stares into Luhan's eyes, as if demanding an answer. 

"M-maybe it wasn't even love." Luhan regrettably  said.

"Like a toy...I'm like a plaything isnt it?" Sehun's voice starts to quiver. 

"N-no. You're not." Luhan reaches out for Sehun's hands, caressing them carefully.

He remembers that day when he found out everything Xiumin has been doing. Xiumin's confession towards him. Xiumin's blind sacrifices for him. He remembers that Xiumin was after all, only a victim of his own feelings.

Luhan smiles a little before continuing.

"A toy is considered a toy when you have fun playing with it.  But..I-I bet the person..., I mean, I just think that the person must have felt bad for doing this to you. That person is just as human as we all are, and he also has feelings. Feelings he cant control. He might have been controlled too much by them resulting to this... inadvertently hurting you."

"But I, am human too! I have feelings that I cant control. I want to smile but I cant control it because I feel hurt. I can't lie to myself."  Sehun takes his hand away from Luhan's firm hold on them. 

"I'm sorry." was all Luhan could say this time. What else can he possibly say? That it was Xiumin behind that mystery admirer that he so loved yet Xiumin doesnt love him at all? 

Sehun abruptly stood up. His back was facing Luhan this time. "But I love him." Sehun speaks softly, like it was a mumble. Thankfully it was night and their surrounding was quiet enough for Luhan to hear those words. 

It did hurt him badly. To know that Sehun loves another guy was one thing. It was way unbearable knowing that Sehun will end up hurting himself if he continued this.

Luhan feels his body feeling warmer by the second. 

Mixed feelings, it was. But jealousy won over the rest. Sehun's voice echoed in his thoughts, repeating the painful phrase he never thought he would ever hear. And so the feeling was unexpected. The feeling Luhan felt was unbearable. 

"Will you quit it?!" Luhan stood up, Sehun was now in shock when he faced Luhan. 

"He doesn't love you! Forget about him! What did you say? But you love him? So? He doesn't love you back and that is it." 

Sehun takes a little step back away from Luhan who was now obviously in rage. 

"Don't go sulking everyday as to why he never sent you letters anymore, Sehun. Like I have said, he doesnt love you. If you are going to say you love him, well then fine. FINE. 

Love him like a fool. Love him as much as you can even though he doesnt return any of it! But dont go around being hurt about it, cause Ive already told you he doesnt love you but you choose to love him." Luhan sternly said. 

Feelings indeed cant be controlled. 


Sehun on the other hand, was speechless. What was actually happening? Why is Luhan the one upset, he asks himself.  Shouldnt he be the one upset because Luhan replaced him right before they even started anything officially? Luhan didnt even confess to him and now he is telling him indirectly, very very clearly, that Luhan doesnt want him anymore.  Sehun felt like his heart was tortured at the moment. Like it had been stepped on repeatedly. His fingers are now ice cold, and he is starting to quiver from the shock and hurt he has been receiving. 

Perhaps the only thing that felt warm on Sehun was his tears, rolling down his cheeks nonstop. He can barely see Luhan's face anymore. 

But, after a second of silence from Luhan, Sehun felt something else that was warm aside from his tears. 

It was none other than the tightly wrapped arms of the older around him. He didnt know if his body was just too cold from the shock of everything or was Luhan's body extremely warmer than usual. 

Sehun lets himself be embraced by Luhan. He thinks that perhaps this was Luhan's way of comforting him after hurting him and leaving him with his unrequited love. 

Sehun smiles bitterly. Afterall, Luhan still didnt have the courage to tell him honestly about his feelings. Till the very end of it, he was doing everything indirectly.

Confessing indirectly. 

Leaving him indirectly.

And comforting him, indirectly. 




Sehun felt Luhan's embrace didn't loosen even after a while of hugging. He felt him cradle his head in his shoulders. Then he felt a slight breathing and a small gush of air near his ear.



"If you love him that much...then fine. But..dont let me see you hurt every single day because it seriously.. It seriously ing hurts." Luhan whispered, stressing the last phrase.

"It seriously ing hurts me when I see you like this. I cant hold it in anymore." Luhan continued. 

"W-what, are you s-saying?" Sehun finally found his voice. He tries to break away from the embrace, wanting to have a proper conversation with Luhan but Luhan just held him even tighter. 

"Don't move. Stay like this...for now. Please." Luhan insisted, still whispering into Sehun's ears. 
Sehun nodded. 

"I thought that...even If I was human, if not control them, I could at least supress my feelings.  I tried. But this time, forgive me but, I will let them loose just for tonight..." 

"L-Luhan..." sehun tries to cut in..

"Shhhh. Let me speak." 

"Just for tonight, let me hug you. Just for tonight i'll let loose of everything. By tomorrow morning, everything will be back to normal and you will forget everything that I say tonight."

Sehun nods slightly. Still in a tight embrace with Luhan.

"I tried, I did. But when I saw you cry..when I heard you say you love him...I cant." 

Luhan then giggles to himself out of pity for himself.

"I'm acting a little selfish but let me be for tonight.  Let me..hug you till this pain goes away." 


"I bet you are asking why. Do you know why?" 

Sehun felt Luhan's tears dripping down his neck. 

"Because I love you, Sehun." 

Before Luhan could say another word, before he could cry out loud of his misery, Sehun used all his strength to break free from Luhan's tight embrace. 

When he finally did, he claimed what was rightfully his, all this time. 

Luhan's lips.

Luhan doesn't know the reason why Sehun kissed him.

Sehun all the more is still confused of the whole situation. But that phrase was enough to explain

everything for the meantime. Both their questions  in their thoughts were unanswered. But there's one thing 

both of them were certain. 

They loved one another. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: wellllll......finally. /hides in a box/