I’ve been selfish

I hold his hand tightly so that he won’t go anywhere

I pretend to be asleep

And finally he lay beside me and falls to deep slumber

I open my eyes

Quietly watching him sleep

How those cherry colored lips opens slightly

How his face look so peaceful

How a few strands of hair fall to his eyelid and I gently brushed it away

I can only hear his soft snores and the clock ticking

I stay like that until he finally awakes

I’m being selfish again

So that he will help me walks to the living room

After he puts me on the couch and gives me the TV remote

He walks to the kitchen to make some late lunch

Luckily the kitchen is only across the living room

And I quietly watch him cooking

How his head shake in cute manners

How he mumbles to himself

I never think that watching a person will be so interesting

I watch each and every gesture of his

And finally when he comes with his cooking

How his face looks so worried when I taste it

I a bit

Taking longer than it should to tells him that his cooking is delicious

It’s been so long since I eat homemade food

It’s been so long since I felt this kindness

I’m worried when I told him I’m a painter

What will he think about me?

But he didn’t say anything about it

Painting is my life since I was a little

As an orphan, I paint to overcome my loneliness

Starting from pencil sketches

To my first crayon

Grown up praises my creation

And other kids comes to me ask me teach them

I have friends

I should’ve never felt alone

But the feeling still linger

When I won a competition, I got myself a painting kit

And I start to paint

The thrilling feeling when I the oil paint on the canvas

Shaping each of my emotion I felt

Giving colors to it

Giving life

The feeling of making a painting can never be surpassed with anything

Even when I’m with my friends

I prefer to watch them talk and talk if it’s necessary

At least so I know their life

Their situation

But I don’t know since when I start to isolate myself when I’m painting

And I didn’t realized how time has passed

How many thing I missed

Parties, birthdays, and funerals

One by one, people who cared f