I kept thinking about Sehun and Wufan’s words

What am I really thinking about Minseok?

Unconsciously I walk back to the apartment

Why?

To know better

I enter the lobby

Walking straight to the elevator

Minseok…

I need to meet him

I need to see his face

As the elevator opens, I enter and then push the button to our floor

I can feel the gravity as the elevator goes up

Just like myself

I need to pull myself away to know the truth

The elevator ‘ping’ and opens the door to my apartment floor

I walk out and fasten my steps to the front of our apartment door

Taking the key from my pocket, I pushed it to the key hole

A ‘click’ sounds telling that the key is being unlocked

I push the door carefully

Not wanting to wake up Minseok

Entering the dark apartment, I push the light switch

How I miss this place

I walk to his bedroom

Opens the door careful enough

I can see his sleeping form beneath the moonlight

His peaceful face

Soft snores slip out of his cherry colored lip

I sit on the floor

Watching him sleep

“Do you like Minseok so much? Or is it because he’s so kind to you that you don’t want to lose his kindness?”

Yes, Minseokis kind, so kind

It’s like his kindness lighten my own heart, which is dry and quenching of attention

The attention that he gives

My meeting with him feels special

It’s like he suddenly shows up in my lowest point of my life

When my heart is empty

I feel like a child when I’m with him

I want him to smile at me

I want him to hold me

I want him to hug me

Just like a child to his mother

*chuckle*

Despite he’s a man, he acts like a mother

Maybe I should call him mommy later

But then again is it really just that?

Is it really I just wanted his kindness?

Or is it love?

What is love actually?

And I realize I didn’t understand much about love

I just want him to be kind to me

Only to me

Not to anyone else

Not to Sehun or Wufan

Just Me

Only Me

Minseok is kind

Minseok is bright like the sun

And I’m like the sunflower, always looking up to the sun

To him

I don’t know how many hours I spent watching him

Because when I realized its morning is when he opens his eyes

And “OH MY GOD LUHAN ^#&^#&*$#%#^&*”

Is his first sentence burst out of his lips when he sees me

Always adorable

“Morning, Minseok”

I greet him

“Don’t surprise me like that again!”

He protested while sitting on the bed

“hahahaha sorry…”

I replied still in the same position

“When did you arrive here?”

Minseok asked with a worried face

I think for a second and replies with

“Hmm…4 in the morning I guess…”

“4! AND YOU’RE SITTING LIKE THAT SINCE 4?!”

Wow he surely can scream, and oh I just wanted to record that expression of his

“uhuh”

I nod my head

“Why didn’t you just come in the morning? After a nice sleep at the studio”

Why?

“I want to see you”