And I’m here

Although half of me didn’t want to be here

But its Minseok hyung’s birthday party after all

A birthday surprise party

We’re on a small convenient cafe

A comfortable place I think

The smell of wooden furniture combined with scent of coffee and cream

And there he is talking anxiously with his old friends on the middle table

If I’m not mistaken they’re names are Chen, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun

And I never thought they’re his friends because I’ve often saw them on TV’s

They’re reminiscing old times and updating their lives with each other

Talking, laughing, enjoying the moments

“Thanks for coming”

Suddenly Wufan sits beside me

We’re on the counter

And I’m enjoying a cup of Irish coffee

It sends warmth to my body but not my own heart

“Same here, thanks for inviting”

I replied to him after sipping my drink

Wufan then stares at Minseok again

Longingly

“So, when will you tell him?”

I asked curiously while moving the cup playfully, watching the swirl on a sea of dark chocolate color

“Soon, although looks like Luhan already a step ahead of me”

His voice tone turns bitter

And my mind frozen too when he say that name

Both of us look at Luhan who’s sitting beside Minseok hyung, being pulled by the birthday guy to know his old friends more

He tries to listen to their conversation attentively

Sometimes he laughs

Sometimes he smiles

Sometimes he looks confused

But what caught my attention that Minseok hyung sometimes looks awkward when Luhan caught him stealing glances at him

And a faint red shows up at Luhan’s cheek

Luckily the others didn’t realize it

And unluckily for me

I remember the fight between me and Luhan days before

It’s my fault that I snapped at him

The overgrown jealousy when I found a covered canvas that’s a portrait of hyung

And added with Luhan’s gentle smile at it

Make’s me couldn’t hold my words at the next conversation when he asked me about the next order

“The hell with it!”

I snapped and walks out of the studio

Leaving him

If I can I want to leave him

If I even have the power to do it

And I haven’t tell him I’m sorry

Because of that our meeting earlier when all of the surprise crews gathered, was kind of awkward

I could tell that he looks at me with concern

But I didn’t have the courage to say it

Pathetic

Blaming the person that I didn’t have the courage to even tell my feelings to

And what hurt the most was that he shows he care

Different from the previous him that’s cold and didn’t care other person feeling at all

Maybe it will be better if it’s the old him

Maybe I won’t be like this

And we’ll just moving on with our job

But time keeps forward

And I’m walking backward

“Good luck”

I patted Wufan’s back

“Time for the final event”

Said Wufan and pulls my sleeves with his free hand while the other ones holding his cup of tea

I stand up from my stool and follow him

To the center

“Let’s have a toast”

He said while holding his cup higher

All of them smiles and stands up

Holds their own cups

For a grown man part

We didn’t hold glasses of beer or champagnes

We hold cups of tea and coffee with different tastes depends on each of ourselves preferences

“For our friend Minseok who’s getting older”

And Minseok slaps Wufan’s back with a smile

And laughter can be heard on the place

We hold our cups higher and closer with each other

“For Minseok!”

We said in unison

And drinks our drink carefully because it’s still warm

Such a funny but calming situation

I enjoyed the moment that I didn’t even realize Luhan is beside me