Tonight I drink

Hoping to drink all of my frustration away

But I know it's a futile attempt

I never thought it will be too late

After years I've been patient enough with his selfishness

Letting him do as he pleases

Frustrated enough with his self destructing acts

By not taking care of his own body

Letting him paint and live on his studio

And I taking care the client and the money

Making sure he lives wealthy enough

And the money I received were just bonuses

Hoping that one day he will see me

Care for me

Even love me

But now I find him moving in with another man

With that Minseok guy

Why?

Why Luhan?why?

Am I not enough for you?

I've been with you longer

I've done so much to you

I’ve give everything for you

But your bright smile is not for me

How you see him is so much different

Different to me

To everyone else

What've happened between you and him?

That suddenly you changes so much in front of him?

Am I just a colleague for you?

Only your business partner?

I hate you Luhan

I hate you so much for making me blind like this

For bruising my heart like this

For taking my time to be like this

I hate your smile that I’ve been craving so much

I hate your laugh that I’ve been wondering all along what it will be like

And I saw it in front of my eyes

That smile, that laugh, that eyes filled with warmth and passion

But that smile is not for me

That laugh is not because of me

And that eyes is for somebody else

For that Minseok

A short one with chubby cheek

Well not that chubby but enough to make him look a bit round on the face

Kind enough to invite me for dinner

But his crooked smile makes me annoyed

Annoyed at the fact that he’s the one who steals Luhan’s heart

The one who makes him smiles

The one that sees the other part of Luhan that I never thought exist

I even hope that this is just a dream

A nightmare

But it’s not

I look at my palm with an imprint of my nails

The result of clenching my knuckle hard enough of jealousy

I thought in Luhan’s world there’ll only be me

Since his previous supposed to be lover left

That Wufan guy

Although Luhan didn’t showered me with love and care, but being beside him is enough

But now everything has crashed down

The naivety has broken when I met Minseok

I continued drinking and drinking

Didn’t know when I passed out

Because suddenly everything went black

The warmth of the sun to my face wakes me up

I open my heavy eyelids

The blurry vision slowly becomes clearer

I look at the source of the light

The window

And I can see that the sun is high enough

My head aches painfully

I need an aspirin

Badly

Standing up with hands on the table as support

The pain on my head becomes more and more unbearable

With half lidded eyes I walk to the bathroom

I opened the cupboard above the sink

Searching for an aspirin

Damn...

I'm out of it...

I punched the wall in frustration

But that won’t help relieving my headache

After a few minutes of self composing

I look at my watch

It's 11.45 am

! I need to meet the client at 12.30!!

I hurriedly takes of my clothes, and turn on the shower

The cold water feels a bit nice to my poundi