I’m sighing heavily

Why everything turns to be like this?

Luhan is becoming closer with Minseok

Sometimes I wonder

God, did my love life will always turns to be like this?

Or am I not destined to be loved by someone I love

I once love Luhan

But he’s being too absorbed in his own world that maybe I didn’t even exist on his mind

And then when my feeling for Minseok grew

Luhan suddenly comes back in my life

Truthfully this heart is being torn apart

Every time I saw their closeness

I’m being jealous

But I even didn’t know to whom did I’m jealous of

I’m too greedy huh?

I want both of them

Both of their attention

Both of their love

But do I really want it like that?

Do I still love Luhan? Or is it just a lingering feeling of my unrequited love to him in the past

Curious about his feeling to me

 Now I’m inside my car, I decided to have a night drive around town

To clear my mind

I opened the window to feel the night breeze

Although it’s 10 pm the city never dies

It’s time for the night life

I see people passing by

From overtime white collar worker that looks like on the way home, until people who work at night, offering their bodies for some cash

And…. Is that Luhan?

He’s walking on the opposite direction, holding a plastic bag

I look for a U turn, and try to catches him

Luckily he walks rather slowly, as my car almost there; I push the window button so it will slide down

“Hey, Luhan”

I called him

He turns his face and when he saw me he waves his hand a bit with a small smile

"Wufan"

It is really him

“Hop in”

I said or maybe ordered a bit louder because he’s now in front of a club so it’s kinda noisy because of the music from inside and also the crowd of people talking, laughing, or even saying nonsensical words of being drunk

“Sure”

He nods his head and then I opened the door to the passenger seat from inside

He quickly hops in and closes the door

“What’re you doing in this late of night?”

I asked him while driving

“Buying some food”

He shows me the plastic with a box of food inside

I can smell fried noodle

“Oh yeah, I remember, Minseok said you’re on the new studio since 3 days ago”

I talked as I remembered what Minseok said today at lunch

Including the part where he was sleeping at Luhan’s studio at saturday

“Yeah, it’s nearby the apartment, I’ll tell you the direction when we’re close”

He said while buckling the seatbelt

“So...how’s the painting?”

I asked him, eyes focused on the road

“It’s finished, Sehun already deliver it this morning”

He answered casually, from the sound of his voice I guess he’s tired

“Oh...good then”

Then there’s an awkward silence between us

He is now beside me but I don’t have a clue to what I need to say

Different from the past where at least I have a few things to talk about to him

Or gathered things to talk about

“So…Is Minseok always tells you ev