“Where were you?” My mom yelled at me. That’s the first thing she ssaid when I took s step in the house. “I was with some friends” I said and bowed my head “Mianhe” I bowed 90 degrees to her. “I need money so.. pay up” She held out a hand. “Ah neh, Umma” I pulled out my wallet and handed her half of the money that was in it. “Mmhh, very well” She nodded and walked off

 When I reached the end of the hall, I pulled down the cord and the ladder pushed down. I steadily climbed up and pulled the ladder up. I took a deep breath and my laptop. I placed the plushie on my bed. 

 I sat cross-legged in front of my laptop waiting for it to load. I looked down at my legs and pulled up my pant; scars and faded cuts. There were a few scars , my legs were almost clear. I grazed my fingertips against my leg and felt no pain, surprisingly. I lifted up my sleeve and the same. Almost clear scars and cuts. I guess I’ve been too busy.

 I don’t know whether to be happy or not. At times like these I wished emotions weren’t so different. Today I cried in a bathroom stall and continued being bulimic, due to certain people. Then, I made new friends and bought new clothes, even a couple plushie, with a guy I may or may not like.

I don’t know anymore. I can’t like anyone, I guess I’m not stable enough to think like this about other people. Plus, if Sehun did like me. Who would like someone like me? A girl who never shows her skin, a girl who is insecure about her own appearance, a girl who cries herself to sleep at night, a girl who has bulimia , a girl who can’t take her own advice, a girl who.. Isn’t good enough.

 I trailed off into my deep thought when my laptop finally loaded. I logged onto facebook, and braced myself for the worse.

 ‘What you are to me: FAKE’

I know exactly who wrote this: Jaehwa. But, I know why she wrote this. Because it’s true, I am fake. I go to school smiling and cheerful then, I go home with cuts and a tear stained face. I smile, but those are fake. I give advice, but I never take it.

 I guess I really am fake.

But what surprised me is when I saw: View all 12 comments

Hmm..? What is this? It’s probably people agreeing with her. Jaehwa really has a lot of friends. To think of it how did this spread so fast? She told 12 people about it? She really is something, huh? A social butterfly, those typical teenage girls. Me? Anything but typical.

 I gulped to click the link that showed me the comments. My heart pounding. If this much people agree with her, how am I supposed to go to school? I’m forever gonna be a social outcast. I lightly tapped the mouse, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The page loaded.

 My heart flipped.

The first comments were … rude. ‘Amen’ ‘I know people these days really need to man up’ The next were questions, that I couldn’t careless about. ‘Aww bad day? Message me’ ‘Chat me quick’

Then..

Oh Sehun :Who are you to talk about people like this?
Friday at 6:52 p.m - Like

Kim Joonmyun : Really? Even behind that persons back?
Friday at 6:53 p.m - Like

Park Chanyeol : You know that everyone knows who it’s about?
Friday at 6:55 p.m - Like

Byun Baekhyun: Is it necessary to make a post about it?
Friday at 6:58 p.m – Like

Kim Jongin: Honestly this is pathetic
Friday at 7:00 p.m - Like

Do Kyungsoo: Words can’t even describe how immature this is
Friday at 7:03 p.m

Am I reading this correctly? They actually said these things? Maybe I’m seeing things because I haven’t eaten. But, It’s so vivid, So clear. I can read every word perfectly. I quietly whispered each word form each comment. I smiled from ear to ear.

I felt so cherished and cared for. It’s such a warm feeling. I’m actually really touched by this because, I only met them today.

When I read it, everything seemed brighter. I can’t believe 6 guys would actually stand up for me. It almost contemplates me to tell me, to open up. I’m so happy.

I stood up and went downstairs. I smiled down the hall and almost skipped. In the living room were Hyunsik appa and umma. I greeted them and went to the kitchen.I guess I actually have an appetite today.  I opened the fridge and scanned it. I grabbed a can of coke and warmed up some kimchi fried rice. I popped it in the microwave and waited at the dining table.

’Who are you to talk about people like this?’, ‘Honestly this is pathetic’ I recalled every word that was said. I touched my lips that now curved up. The microwave snapped me out of my thoughts as it beeped.

There I say a spoon in my hand and a bowl of rice in front of me. I usually never eat at home, unless I throw it up after. I always trick my body into thinking that it ate and has energy, only to loose it. But today, since I’m such in a good mood. I’ll eat. I filled the spoon with rice and put it in my mouth.

Before I knew it I had finished my meal. I headed to work with a smile on my face. When I stepped through the front doors, My smile…. Widened.

 In the far back corner of the store, I see the guys sitting there. Smiling.