Heeyoung had the same pained expression when she walked home up until now. When Heeyoung got home Yunji was waiting in the living room, sitting in the midst of a drama. "Noo~ Now that was rude" She scoffed, talking to the t.v. Heeyoung wiped off her sad expression on put on a happy one. "Hey Unnie. What are you doing? You should really go to bed now" She told the elder. "I was just waiting for you, let's go upstairs together" Yunji suggested. Heeyoung felt glee in her heart. "Really? Then let's go" 

 When the two departed Heeyoung went straight to her room and crashed onto her comforting bed. "I can't do this anymore" unconsciously a tear rolled down her cheek. Despite all the people around her, she still felt alone. Her fingers itched, she knew what she wanted to do to relieve herself of pain. She didn't think twice before reaching into her nightstand and pulling out a blade, to her dismay there was none. She rummaged around looking under books and sheets of paper, it's like it had vanished. 'The universe is out to get me' She thought sorrowfully. Then she remembered that she had one in her bag, unfortunately. 'I'd rather hurt my self then the others around me'. Quickly she pulled out the desired object, and a sigh of relief escaped her lips, this was something that she craved, pain. Tightly she wrapped her fingers around the blade, she held her breath and pulled up her pant leg. She positioned the blade on the middle of her shin, as she counted to 3 she made the hardest but quickest slash she could ever made. It left a vertical line down her shin, dripping blood onto her foot. Tears started streaming down her face. In anger and despair she continued to cut down her flesh, as she let out shaky and heavy breaths. Then everything went black. 

When Heeyoung woke up she didn't remember much. But then a shot of pain hit her in the back of her head. She winced in pain. Heeyoung looked around her, she was on the dusty rug. By her hand was a blood stained blade, 'oh' she remembered. Still dressed in her uniform she went to the bathroom. Heeyoung faced herself in the mirror, 'Is this why no one like me?Is it because I'm fat? Is it because I'm ugly?' Her put downs trailed on as she pulled on her skin, and plucked at her eye brows. 'Is this what they want now a days?'. In the medicine cabinet behind her mirror was a bunch of her mom's make-up. 'Maybe if I put a little on, people would notice me better' She applied BB cream , lined her eyes with eyeliner and brushed on some blush to brighten her complexion. 'Maybe today I won't ask for compliments' 

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When I trudged to school, it was all the same. But when I got to my locker that's when things started going up hill. "Aww you look pretty today" Jaehwa poked my cheek. "Why are you wearing all that? It makes you look kinda trash" Hana was there to burst my bubble. "I kinda see it now" Jaehwa questioned, tilting her head to the side and squinted her eyes at me. 'This is what I get for trying' I thought. "Let's go to class girls" Jaehwa linked arms with Hana and I. With my books threatening to fall out of my right arm, I quivered and tried to stay strong. But of course my books just had to fall out of my arms and spilled onto the ground with many eyes looking at me. I felt small and needy. "I'll see you guys in class okay?" I told them and they walked away reluctantly.

Soon I bent down on my knees and pilled up all the papers and folded them back into my binder. "Here you go" Said Suho holding a text book for me to take. He smiled angelically as the light hit him in the most perfect angle. "Thank you" I smiled up at him, hugging my books I stood up. "Woah who is this pretty lady?" He slung an arm around my shoulder. "You know who I am you idiot" I punch him on the shoulder. "I gotta get to class" I shimmied out of his grip. "Bye Suho~" I waved back at him who just stood there, waving too. 'Strange' 

In class it was long and boring, luckily the notes weren't that long, but we had to copy down a review. As you know I copied 2 down, 2 reviews and         2 pairs of notes. Gym passed by with just laps around the gym, Science trailed very slow. Until it was time for lunch. I escaped everyone or tried too, when the 'boys' came to me asking if I wanted to eat lunch with them. Considering that Jaehwa and Hana went out and I had given all my money away, I'll just sit with them. No harm done. "Okay" I nodded at them. 

When we all took a seat my head started to spin and my eyes blurred, but I kept on a positive attitude. "Heeyoung, are you hungry?" Baekhyun asked. "No not really, actually" I said with a straight face, avoiding possible eye contact. "Okay then, but if you get hungry just ask" He gave me a sincere look. There was a crack of lightling, that illuminated the cafeteria for a split seconded. I cringed at the sound, and my heart raced. "More rain huh?" Jongin said looking up at the sky light, hearing the heavy drops of rain cascade down the windows. "I hate the rain, it makes me feel sad" Chanyeol pouted like a 2 year old. Well, considering the rain and everything else, that applies to me too. "I know" Sehun held up his index finger and slid it down his cheek, indicating a 'fake tear'. "The rain is definitely a bummer" I sighed. But jittered bit when yet another crack of thunder roared. 'But I most definitely hate the rain' 

The duo decided to eat in the cafeteria when they saw the ugly weather. Both sat across from each other at a far but empty table. Hana and Jaehwa watched the smiles and heard the laughter over at Heeyoung's table. "Now she looks like a " Hana said pursing her lips into a straight line. "Who is she? Beautiful boys like that don't like s like her" Jaehwa added through clenched teeth, while looking at Sehun and Heeyoung's comfortable conversation. "Oh bye the way Hana, I have to tell you something about our dear Heeyoung" Jaehwa said 

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After a long, sad, and grey day at school, it was time to pack everything up. I was at my locker, putting homework into my bag when Sehun came up and tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey there" He looked up at me. "Uhh Hi" I blushed a light shade of pink, at how close he was to me. "You know, You shouldn't wear make-up. It's not you" He said truthfully. "Oh sorry, I was just-. Testing some things out" I blurred at him. 'I guess I can't pull off the pretty look. Maybe I do look like a ?' "I promise I won't. I have to go now. See you tomorrow" I closed my locker and walked off. 

'I should've worded it differently' Sehun thought in panic. He just didn't know how to put simple things into words, especially when talking to a girl who didn't swoon over him. 'Maybe I'll try again tomorrow' 

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I need to leave. I need to get away. I haven't been there in a while, I should go. I am most definitely need it. So I trudged through the wet branches, not caring about the water or dirt. Then again my head spun and my vision blurred, but nonetheless I kept on my journey. After what felt like hours, I reached the log. It was wet, but who cares? I took a seat and buried my head in my hands. Unconsciously, tears rolled down my face. 'I need closure. I don't want to live like this anymore. But I can't change and no one is willing to notice if I do. I'm a the verge' 

I bit my lip and slowly but hesitantly opened my bag. I pulled out the same blade and did what came next. Slash after slash, cry after cry, I let out an ear piercing scream. I threw the blade to the ground and ran my fingers through my hair. 'It's your fault, You can't stop. You can't change if you can't stop.' "But I can't, it's hard. It's been a part of my routine now.  I can't" I whispered into the empty atmosphere. 

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Keeping the distance, There Jaehwa and Hana stood, speechless. "I present you, Kim Heeyoung" Jaehwa whispered.