Heeyoungs POV

 Today, I left home early. I just felt so depressed. I really just wanted a friend like Sehun. I don’t even know why Hana and Jaehwa know. I kept my mouth shut and this is what I get.

 My head faced down and followed the sidewalk that led to the school. I didn’t bother to look up. I hummed a sad melody and I finally reached the school, then I trailed behind it.

 My getaway from everything.

 The branches crunched underneath my feet until I got to the log. I sat and buried my face in my legs, my arms over my head. I stayed like that, thinking.

 I looked up and took a deep breath. I my phone and played ‘Safe and Sound’

 The song played throughout the small space, I hummed the tune. I leaned back and My whole body rested on the log my bag supporting my head. I saw the sunrise beneath the branches and I closed my eyes.

 I bit my lip trying to clear my mind before tears could roll down. But, too late, they did. My hot tears rolled down my cold pale skin and damped my uniform.

 ‘Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You’ll be all right no one can hurt you now’

 I wish just closing my eyes would make me feel better. I never does.

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 “Everyone get changed into the following attire and we’ll start our ‘workout’” Mr.Choi explained to the class. He handed out white short sleeve shirts and black shorts.
 ‘Short’ was the word that scares me the most. Scars and cuts. I don’t want to revile them to the class. I don’t want sympathy.

 Just because I cut and people know doesn’t mean they have to start caring for me. If they really wanted to help they could’ve cared before. No one ever cares until someone gets hurt.

 “Hello, Heeyoung. Here, go change up” He handed me the uniform

 “Mr.Choi I’m not comfortable wearing those can’t I wear sweat pants and this shirt” I reasoned

 “If you want to” He walked away confused.

 I was lucky to be passed off like that. If I wasn’t I don’t know what else I would do.

 “Heeyoung aren’t you going to change?” Hana asked

 “No, I don’t want to wear this uniform”

 “Just put it on like, stop being so picky. I know you’re insecure about your weight and all but, it’s not hard to show some skin” Jaehwa nagged

 I shrugged it off and walked towards the treadmills.

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 The bell just rang for lunch, like always I barely ate.

 This time I decided to go out for lunch. Ice cream

 I got my phone and plugged in my ear phones and made my way to the nearest ice-cream parlor.

 The streets were filled with hungry high school students. All were in different groups. Then, there was me. All alone

 When I walked into the ice-cream parlor there were a handful of students hanging around one table and a couple more people like, ajumma’s

  I walked up to the counter and asked for plain vanilla ice-cream in a cup. I paid my fee and left the store. I walked across the street right back to school.

 I stayed in front of the school gates and ate my ice-cream. Letting the cold sugar run down my throat. My stomach felt less empty.

 “Noona!, I was looking for you” Sehun smiled then looked at me seriously, before taking a seat beside me. “Yeah Hi, Sehun” I tried to cheer up a bit. “About yesterday, you know I’m sorry. Mianhae. I never meant to yell at you. I know that I can trust you better, Heeyoung. I hope we can be better friends in the future” He smiled and then walked away.

I sat there dumbfounded, when a text sent me out of my thoughts.

 ‘ooohh, getting it on with Sehun?’- Hana

 I chuckled to myself before I realized, how would they know?

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I closed my eyes and let my body relax in the warm tub of soapy water. My cuts stingged at the touch of water and soap, but it’s not new pain.

 After a few minutes of lying around I washed my hair and body. Then, I rinsed off and wrapped my towel around my chest.

 I stood in front of the mirror, my eyes darkened with eye bags, my body covered in cuts and slashes, my body getting slightly skinnier.

 I pushed my hair back until I felt my wet hair on my back. Then I got on my knees, in front of the toilet. I pushed my index finger down my throat until I felt my stomach cringe, the ice-cream I once had, spilled into the toilet. I took a deep breath and flushed it down.

 The only reason why I have ice-cream is because; it’s easy to throw-up.