“Ugh I’m so full right now” Heeyoung held onto her stomach and sat on a near by bench and was soon and she was followed by Chanyeol and Suho. She held her stomach saying she was fully but truthfully she was famished, even though later she knew she would just end up without anything in her stomach. “You barely ate anything” Suho said with a hint of seriousness in his voice. “Yeah because.. Chanyeol ate everything” She pouted over an anxious expression, she mentally released a thankful sigh that they bought it. “Aish let’s do something fun. You guys are really boring” She said playfully and stuck her tongue out at them and ran to the playground that was right in front of them.

They spent the rest of their time together forgetting about everything else in the world. Heeyoung smiled forgetting why she covered up that smile of hers, Chanyeol and Suho were allowed to act like kids again and be free from all the hard work and training that they had faced. Overall until sunset the park was filed with soft giggles and deep chuckles, sounds of the friction between the pavement and shoes and the creaks of the old rusty swing set and lastly the happiness brought from 3 care free teens.

 “Bye Heeyoung~” The boys cooed and said farewell to Heeyoung. They slowly made their way down the street before fading into the dark streets. Heeyoung stood there with that same smile plastered on her face, she collected her thoughts, she never knew how much happiness there could be in just to boys. She thought that maybe just maybe these boys could make her genuinely happy. But when she stepped through the door her mother looked down at her with her eye brow raised, she was clearly mad. “Where’s my money? Huh?” She said poking her arm with her long perfectly red manicured finger. “Wipe that smile of your face, don’t worry it’s okay to be ugly. You don’t need to cry sweetie” Heeyoung clenched her fists and threw her wallet at her mom. She stormed up the stairs and into the attic.

Her eyes were red and filled to the brim with tears, she couldn’t contain herself anymore. She was tired of all her plastic smiles and ‘happy tears’. She stood by her wall with her weak knees failing to hold her up any longer; she slid down the wall and hit the ground with a loud thud. Her jaw quivered and her fingers twitched, her arms stung and her spine shivered. Her twitching fingers grazed over her desk to pull out a blade from her drawer. I can’t do this any longer she thought with a tear sliding down here face.

And this was just the start.

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Heeyoungs POV

Autumn was creeping its way around the corner; the weather was cooler, the sun settled at a later time and the leaves turned a beautiful orange color. My favorite season. It’s the start of the cover up season. It’s the only time when I can be comfortable around everyone else, because I’m not the only one with longer sleeves.

Well now I’m trapped on a bus. Forced to sit beside people I really don’t like, people who really don’t know much about me. I don’t plan to tell them much anyways, just put on a smile and be nice. Night fishing with a bunch of your society affected teens, go figure. At least I have something pleasing to everyone that I could look foreword to.

 “Yah, Wanna play truth or dare” My piercing eyes turned into big doe eyes. “Of course I do” Only 2 more hours.

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 “Did you hear about that big cliff by the fishing dock?” A combination of male and female voices spoke fairly loud behind me. “Yes I heard it’s haunted because of all the suicides. What a bunch of idiots” A girl scoffed in her high pitched voice. I guess I’m idiotic. 

 “Heeyoung truth or dare?” Jongin snapped his fingers looking at me. “Uhh… Truth. I guess… There’s not much we can do on a bus” I explained playing with my fingers, hoping that they wouldn’t ask an in depth question about me. After a few silent pauses and questioning looks Kyungsoo looked up. “Ok I got a really good one. Who and when was your first kiss?” He asked holding his making a ‘hmmmm’ sound. Should I say I haven’t or… lie. Like I’ve been doing my whole life, I mean it’s nothing new if I did lie. I don’t want to be that loser that hasn’t had their first kiss. I know. “I really don’t date a lot” Or at all for that matter, no one even likes me “I’m just waiting for someone special, I believe in love” It even screams lies. “Aww Heeyoung you’re too cute. I know someone out there is waiting for you, someone really close” Baekhyun said flashing his pearly whites slightly making an un-obvious nudge to Sehun. “Yeah right” I laughed dryly shaking off a misleading statement.

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I stepped off the bus into a waft of the sea water. The air around me was clear and non toxic, the faint sounds of seagulls screeching and the orange yellow sun setting behind the horizon. It was breathtaking until I saw that cliff they were taking about. It was really steep and a rocks and dirt fell from the angle. Select leaves and sticks stuck out. The drop would’ve been fatal.

 “Class gather around. First we’ll look for signs of season behavioral patterns. Then we’ll have a discussion. After that we’ll eat and look around for different/ abnoramal animal or plant patterns. Lastly you guys can look around and ‘chill’ for about and hour then we’ll head back. Arasso?”  “Ne songsaengnim” We all cooed.

 “Please take a seat and listen carefully. You will need to learn this for future references”

If there is a future for me.

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 “And that’s why we came here. Now go have fun kids, you deserve it” With that said there were cheers and groans. All the students stood up and took a second to stretch and then ran out to do whatever they wanted to. Me? I don’t know what I want to do. Maybe? Before I could trail on another thought a twitching finger appeared in front of me. You guessed right it was Sehun. I don’t know why he finds so much interest in me, I’m not much different from everyone else. Except for the physical, mental and emotional difference. But still what’s so intriguing about a depressed, media affected, bulimic teen like me? Who knows? I looked up at him and gave him a weak smile, it took all the emotion I had left. I took his hand.

 “So.. what do you want to do now?” He asked walked slowly beside me on the sandy shore. Nothing, nothing at all. Maybe I crave something drastic. “I don’t really know. I just show up, you know?” That is the real truth. I just come here, listen then go home and rest, to start the miserable routine again. He laughed, so I did. But I can’t always hide my pain and thoughts in the giggles and smile I fake. “You’re really funny you know that right?” He said sincerely, I hope. I smiled this time. A real smile, which showed that ugly dimple I never show and the teeth that I always hide.

 During that one hour I told Sehun he should go with the rest of his friends, instead of waste his time with someone like me. Here I sat at the edge. I closed my eyes and blocked out the world from me,

 ‘awww poor lilttle fatty, her dad died’

 ‘What you are to me? FAKE.”

 ‘Just go die, I never liked you’

 ‘I hate seeing you cry, it makes me want to punch you in the face’

 ‘It’s okay to be ugly’

 It all echoed through my head. Everything said, everything done. My legs swung and teetered back and fourth hitting the gravel behind my legs. I rocked my upper body listening to the horrid compilation of insults. A tear strode down my face. My arms stood straight be my sides , my fingers clenched into fist to prevent from hurting my self any longer. Why?, because I’m done.

 Just jump, jump. Jump and it’s all done. All worried gone, all anxieties gone, all blood and tears gone, with a simple jump. I stood up and looked down only to close my eyes, one last tear streamed down. I moved my leg up.

Finally, I’m done.

 “Heeyoung I brought you food I figured you were hungry” Someone said behind me. I froze. My blood turned cold and my anxiety rose. My whole body twitched and I grew nervous. “Hey are you okay?”

 “Yeah I’m fine” I smiled.











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Guess who it was?

Sorry for the lack of... well everything