As soon as Chen waved the green flag, Soojin stepped on the pedal, roaring the car to life. She needed this. She needed to think. She didn’t care if she was going too fast. This was the race track and she’s free to do whatever she wanted to do. Besides, she needed to practice. The competition was in two days and she hadn’t conditioned herself yet.

It’s all her fault anyway. What was she thinking, telling Kris how she felt when she knew it would lead to nowhere? Kris was getting married anyway. And the woman was far better off with him. Gillian Chung was a beautiful and successful woman. She and Kris deserved each other, anyway.

Ever since that party, Soojin’s life had been miserable. Although she did try her best to look unaffected, there were few people who still sympathized with her. Few of them were Yoona and Krystal, who tried their best to comfort her and reassure her that things will be okay.

Even Luhan and Sehun had come to Soojin’s aid.

But it only made things worse.

Soojin used to stay inside Kris’ office, doing her work as his personal secretary and bringing him coffee when he needs it. But now, it seems to be useless. Gillian Chung was always around, doing the work Soojin was supposed to do. It hurts her to see them together but what can she do? She’s hopeless.

It hurts. Her heart hurts. Everything hurts.

Meanwhile, at the stands, Chen couldn’t help but worry about Soojin. Even Xiumin, who was used to being teased by Soojin, felt surprised when she wouldn’t even call him names anymore. Suho, Tao and Lay had noticed this when she came for a movie night last Friday and she was surprisingly quiet throughout the night.

Chen watched as Soojin’s car sprinted around the race track. She seems troubled, he thought, observing her from afar. He couldn’t see her expression. He didn’t know how she felt because she won’t even tell him. But he knew something was wrong. She’s driving too fast. If she’s not careful, she’s going to crash somehow.

“Hyung, is something wrong with noona?” Tao wanted to know.

Xiumin plopped down next to Chen. “I’m pretty sure something is up,” he told her. “She doesn’t tease me anymore. And she doesn’t even call me names. She’s too quiet and she barely speaks. What happened to her, Chen?”

Chen frowned. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I wish I knew but she wouldn’t tell me.”

Lay sighed. “I’m worried,” he commented. “I’ve never seen her drive so fast. I’ve never seen her like this. What has she been doing for the past few days? I’m pretty sure she tells you everything.”

Chen bit his lip. “I just know that she’s working under someone named President Kris—”

Tao puffed his cheeks. “That’s a weird name. President Kris? How would you like it if your friends call you President?”

Suho chuckled, shaking his head. “Tao, it’s a title. I’m pretty sure his name doesn’t start with President.”

“She says it’s a contract that lasts for a hundred days,” Chen continued, his eyes glued on the running car. “And then she starts talking about love… I think she might have fallen in love. And then something probably happened and she can’t be with him.”

Xiumin inhaled deeply. “Tragic love story,” he blurted out. “But still, I can’t believe Soojin has finally fallen in love. I mean, I’ve always thought that, you know, she likes you and everything because she won’t stop hanging out with you. Or maybe she likes Tao. Or Suho or Lay. Maybe even me, perhaps. I wouldn’t have minded if she did fall in love with me.”

Tao rolled his eyes. “As if she’d like you, hyung,” he snapped. “You don’t even treat her well.”

Xiumin pursed his lips. “Yah! Just because I don’t treat her the way you guys do doesn’t mean that I don’t like her. She’s an important person to me as much as she is to everyone, okay? She accepts me for who I am. Now where do I find another woman like that? Besides, nice people are boring.”

Lay spoke up. “Now’s not realty the time—”

“Are you trying to say that the four of us are boring?” Tao spat out, glaring at Xiumin.

“Why? Did I hit a nerve?” Xiumin jeered.

“Shut it!” Suho bellowed. “Both of you.”

Tao frowned. “Sorry, hyung.”

Chen wished nothing more but to know how she really feels. So he could comfort her, so he could be there with her. But he knew there was nothing he could do right now. Even his four friends, who had grown attached to her for the years they’ve been together, could do nothing but watch her from afar.

Once the sun had set, Soojin made her way back home. Chen had offered to drive her back to her house but she refused. She told him she needed to be alone. Even Tao’s way of convincing people—which usually worked if he did it correctly—to do something he wanted them to do didn’t work on her. The five of them watched in anxiety as she walked away.

Just the image of them being together hurts Soojin. She accepted reality from the start. Although she never expected to fall in love—with Kris, of all people in the world—at least God could’ve given her a warning or something. She would have preferred to fall in love with an employee of the company. That would’ve been pretty understandable.

But no.

The fate tricked her and now she’s stuck in a tangled mess that she can’t get out. Falling in love was never been in her to-do list. Before she even met Kris, she had thought of setting people up on dates. Like Jungsoo ahjussi or her other ahjussis or something. She never included herself.

For the past forty days, Soojin had tried her best to act nonchalant. Like the kiss Kris and her shared didn’t happen. Like she never told him she loved him. Pretending to be fine was something she’s been good at because that’s what she’s been doing ever since her mother passed away. She has done everything she could to avoid seeing Kris and Gillian together.

They didn’t act like a couple, seeing as Kris has been trying to shun Gillian out of his life – something Soojin didn’t understand. If they have known each other since they were kids, why would Kris ignore her?

The car shop was busy, as always. When she arrived, she was welcomed with chattering customers and restless kids playing around. She greeted them politely, bowing to everyone she sees and when she’s finally near the door that leads to the office, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Okay, you have to tell me what’s going on.” Youngwoon had that ‘concerned father’ look on his face. Behind him was Yunho, covered with grease and sweat. Few seconds later, Jungsoo, Yoochun and Jongwoon have surrounded her, dying to know what has happened.

“What about the shop? Your customers?” Soojin didn’t want to talk about it. It makes her cry and feel emotional. That’s the last thing she wants to do right now. She’s been crying for the past few weeks, secretly at night, but she didn’t want anyone to know. She didn’t want anyone to worry.

“They can wait,” Yoochun told her. “And I can call anyone to get you off the contest anytime.”

Soojin was left flabbergasted. Was Yoochun serious about getting her off the competition when it’s already tomorrow? “What, no!” she protested, clinging to Yoochun’s arm. “Ahjussi, what the hell are you talking about? I don’t… I don’t want to drop out. I’ve practiced a lot for it.”

“Then tell us what’s wrong,” Jongwoon demanded. “You’re always distracted and you’re too quiet. In fact, your father says you don’t eat a lot like you used to. He’s worried. Even your stepfamily is worried—although I doubt they do. But something’s really wrong.”

Yunho frowned. “Sweetheart, tell us what’s wrong.”

There were times when Soojin just wants to get out and leave home. In times like this, she wanted to be alone. She wanted to think. She wanted to prove to herself that she could carry on without falling or without crying. She had to be strong. If she survived her mother’s death, falling in love and getting hurt would be a piece of cake.

But she was left with no choice. In the end, she told them everything. She told them the truth.

“Sweetheart.” Yunho inhaled deeply. “Love is a complicated thing. You… you weren’t used to it. Falling in love, that is. And now it’s your first time. I could say that you love this man but I guess, there are some things that aren’t meant to happen, some are. If you think it’s right, fight for it. Take the risk. Life is boring if you won’t.”

Jungsoo stared at her, resting his chin on his palm. “Well, you’re definitely sad about it,” he commented. “I’m worried for you tomorrow. What if we call it off? Yoochun could always call the head—”

“No!” she cut him off. “No! I mean, don’t call it off. I still want to join.”

Youngwoon winced. “You’re distracted. You can’t—”

“I can do it,” she reassured them, although she reassures herself more. “I… I think I can do it.”

Even if they wanted her to end the race, she won’t budge. She said she can do it. She thought she can do it. For the entire night, she stayed in her room, restless and hopeful. She mentally repeated the words I can do it inside her head. Although she meant to assure the others who were worried for her, she felt like she was rather encouraging herself.

She can do it.

She can end this race even with a broken heart.

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