Chapter 20 – Wordless Confessions

A sudden pain shot through the head belonging to the woman of the room. Out of nowhere, a feeling of someone taking a pick axe and shoving it into her head forced her awake. Seohyun slowly opened her eyes to massage the spot where the pain was present. She remembered that she had probably a few liters of alcohol last night, but the pain was different. There was a bruised spot on her forehead that didn’t feel like a hangover headache.

Her eyes finally adjusted to the light which revealed a lacy, red article of clothing on the bed next to her. Without thinking too much of it, she picked it up to put it on. Just as she got one arm through it, her brain caught up with what was happening. Seohyun looked down and realized she was putting on her bra meaning her s had been exposed for who knows how long. Her cheeks turned a darker crimson than the cloth she scurried to put on.

“Seohyun what did you do last night?!” she frantically asked herself. “Ahhhhh why did I drink so much?”

She hoped to god that she hadn’t made any mistakes she would regret last night. Deep down inside herself, she knew it wouldn’t have been a mistake to her if she did anything with Yonghwa. Reality told her, however, that no matter how much she would have liked it, that it shouldn’t happen. She hit her head to punish herself but only managed to make the bruise hurt even more.

All the events from the night before rushed back into her head. She remembered that she basically Yonghwa with his clothes on while she was on top of him grinding her hips onto him. That forced Seohyun to look down in embarrassment and notice she was only wearing her . The discarded black dress had been thrown halfway across the room somehow. The ashamed girl felt so exposed, so . “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” she whined. “What did you do last night Seo Joohyun?”

Then she realized that it didn’t hurt down there. More than one person told her that she would be sore in the morning after ‘the deed was done’ but she felt normal. Seohyun sighed in relief when she realized her innocence was intact. That thought brought her to remember the other person involved in all of this. She slowly turned her head to notice that Yonghwa wasn’t in the bed anymore. The only thing that remained was a large brown stain on the white sheets.

If the embarrassment of being all over Yonghwa wasn’t enough, it grew exponentially when she remembered the vomit. “Wahhhhhhhhhhhh,” she cried into her pillow. Not only did she almost have with Yonghwa but she threw up all over his chest. A light snoring coming from the couch indicated he was still in the room.

Seohyun stood up to inspect him, not bothering to remember that she was only wearing two tiny pieces of clothing. The man was still wearing his puke covered pants, indicating that he hadn’t taken them off at all last night. That further reassured her since she had the certainty that he hadn’t gotten fully . The puke on his chest was gone. Seohyun figured he probably washed it off of himself last night.

“Look who watches who sleep,” Yonghwa mumbled groggily. Seohyun gave out a startled yelp and fell backwards onto the coffee table. Before she could knock over the vase that held a flower arrangement sitting on it, Yonghwa managed to grab a hold of her hips and bring her towards him.

“Byuntae! Byuntae!” she yelled while slapping his hands away from her sides. The action caused them both to fall on the couch in an awkward position. The same situation from last night seemed to be repeating itself as she sat on him while wearing only underwear.

“Yah! Stay still and stop squirming,” Yonghwa ordered. He wanted her off of him as much as she did. His pants began to feel tight again, but at least this time he was sober. “I’m sorry if I touched you. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know your game Yonghwa. You’re just pretending to help me so you can touch me. I’m not that easy,” she howled out of nowhere. Yonghwa had no idea why she was so angry in the morning but he figured it was because she was embarrassed. Seohyun stood up after giving him an irritated huff of air. Yonghwa found himself enjoying the view of her barely clothed body a little too much. “See! You’re staring at me! Stop it!”

“You’re standing right in front of me!” Yonghwa yelled. “Of course I have to see you.”

“Well then close your eyes!”

“I’ll be in the shower,” Yonghwa mentioned before grabbing a few things out of his suitcase. Seohyun wanted to apologize for being so unreasonably irate so early in the morning, but he slammed the door on her. It wasn’t his fault that she ended up embarrassing herself so much last night. She had no right to take it out on him. Her head pounded at the yelling and she desperately wished she had some painkillers to relieve it.
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No matter how much she thought about it, Seohyun couldn’t find a way to rectify the situation. There was no way she was going to be able to defend her actions last night. She could always use alcohol as the excuse, but that didn’t seem fair. The two people obviously wanted to spend the night together if things got that heated. It wasn’t just the alcohol, but there seemed to be a genuine desire from both parties involved.

“Aigooooooooooooo,” she whined loudly. The girl stomped her feet while her body spazzed out in frustration. “I’m not going to get out of this one.” She figured the best course of action would be to take no action. As long as Yonghwa didn’t mention it, she wouldn’t. That way there would be no awkwardness unless it was necessary.

Yonghwa on the other hand tried his hardest to not remember the events of last night. Even after all the alcohol he had in his body last night, he remembered everything clearly. The flustered young man knew exactly why he remembered the events so vividly. It was because his body didn’t want to forget it. He wanted to always remember the moments where he was as close as he would ever be to making her his.

The thoughts buzzing through his head kept arousing him against his will. Yonghwa desperately wished the water could be colder so he could cool off his excited body. It took all his will power to not relieve himself in the shower while fantasizing about Seohyun. Before last night, he hadn’t had any impure thoughts about her. There was only a pure, innocent love for her inside of him. Now that he knew she was a woman in every sense of the word, that image was thrown out the window. The only thing that came to his head when he thought of her was the sight of her unclothed skin.

“No! Yonghwa, you can do this,” he encouraged himself. “You can fight this!” His words said one thing but his body said another. He cursed himself for being born a man. He had to get rid of his ‘problem’ before he got out of the shower or else Seohyun would see it and think he really was a ert.

Seohyun managed to clear her head after trying her hardest to forget everything. The only thing she regretted was that she embarrassed herself. She never once regretted almost going all the way with him. Even though they weren’t dating, she felt comfortable enough to give herself to him. Either way, those thoughts all disappeared as she started to cook with a little bit of ingredients they bought yesterday.

Yonghwa made his way out of the bathroom fully dressed, lest he find some urge to resume last night’s events. He noticed Seohyun happily humming an unknown tune while chopping up a few vegetables. It brought a smile to his face to see that image. If he loved her waking up in his arms in the morning, he loved seeing her back while she cooked even more. It made him feel like they were really a married couple even though they weren’t.

He walked over silently as she was put in a trance by the breakfast ingredients. She let out a small yelp when she felt his contact on her back. Yonghwa tied the back of the apron that she absentmindedly forgot to secure when she put it on. “You should tie this up. You don’t want to get food on your clothes.”

“Th-thanks,” she mumbled. It was evident in her speech that she was still a little shy about everything that was happening between them. “I’ll have breakfast ready in a little bit if you want to sit down at the balcony table to wait.”

Yonghwa shook his head lightly while staring at her cook from behind her. “I’ll just watch you for a bit.” Seeing her like that made him feel like crying from happiness. This was what he had dreamed of for most of his life. No matter how weird it would be, he gave into his urges and hugged her from behind. “You look like a real wife like this.”

“W-what are you doing?” Seohyun stammered. “You should go wait at the t-t-table.”

“Ani, I want to watch my wife cook,” he replied with no hesitation in his voice. Things were already screwed up between them. They had almost had for crying out loud. It couldn’t get any weirder if they tried. He figured he might as well milk the situation for all it was worth.

Seohyun was a little shy at first, but she quickly forgot about it. This was the kind of life she dreamed of as well. As a little girl she would imagine how it would be to have her husband watch her lovingly while she cooked his food. “I think uri nampyeon should go to the table or else I’ll be too distracted to make any food.” Yonghwa chuckled a bit before letting her go. He had one final urge to give her a peck on the lips but suppressed it.

As he looked out towards the beach he realized this was all an act. In four more days, they would have to leave and forget that all this happened. They would have the pictures to remember the days by, but it wouldn’t be the same. Nobody could know about what happened between them at the resort which saddened him. That was how it had to be though. At least he got the satisfaction of living a dream-like week with the woman he loved.

“I tried to make it as American style as possible,” Seohyun dejectedly said. “As you can see, it’s not that great.” Yonghwa stifled a snicker at the way her pancakes had awkward corners in them instead of being perfect circles. “You can laugh.”

“Is it obvious I want to?” he teased back. The pancakes, omelet, bacon, and sausage looked edible regardless of how misshapen they were. He didn’t want Seohyun’s efforts to go to waste so he stuffed it all into his mouth happily. It wasn’t every day that he had breakfast made by her after all.

Breakfast wasn’t as lively as it had been yesterday. The day before they hadn’t been able to take a bite of food without saying a word or two. This time around, the only thing they could hear was the faint crashing of the waves on the shore. Both people present could sense the tension present, but neither of them had the courage to break it. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that they were both thinking about how to approach the events of the night before.

“So about last night…” they both spoke at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time once more. This time the pair coughed a bit on their food when they spoke at the same time. Before they could make the same mistake a third time, Yonghwa decided to speak out.

“Seohyun ah, I’m so sorry for what I did last night. I would understand 100% if you want me to leave,” he apologized sincerely. He could only dig through his food with his fork awkwardly after begging for forgiveness.

“No, don’t be sorry. It was my fault. I kissed you without warning at the club and I was the one who started the stuff in the room. If anything, I’m the one who messed up.” Yonghwa brought his head up at her explanation with a smile.

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t see anything. I undid the clip on your bra, but you got knocked out before you could take it off,” he explained. Those words really gave Seohyun some peace of mind. She spent the entire day so far thinking he had seen her so exposed. “I got up to wash up then slept on the couch. Nothing big happened fortunately.”

“Sorry,” she could only reply back. Seohyun felt relieved he wasn’t bringing up the fact that he had been vomited on by her.

“This is uncomfortable as hell isn’t it?” he joked in his usual casual way. “I can’t believe we’re sitting here apologizing to each other because we almost had .”

Seohyun flinched at the word ‘’ since it seemed so powerful and vulgar. Yonghwa caught the subtle gesture and remained quite once more. He inwardly cursed himself for speaking so nonchalantly about something as important as her first time. Men should definitely not talk so casually about innocent women in that way. Then again, after last night, Seohyun couldn't be described as innocent unless they changed the definition of the word completely.

“Uh… yeah… haha,” she nervously laughed. “I’m sorry again Yonghwa. I shouldn’t be taking this act too far.” Those words hurt to say. After Joon’s betrayal, her feelings for Yonghwa were the only thing left in her. She was still utterly and unbelievably confused, but she kind of didn’t want it to be just an act.

“It’s fine. We didn’t do anything after all. How about we just say that we had too much to drink and out?” Yonghwa asked reassuringly. He knew Seohyun so well that he could tell she didn’t even want to remember what happened. “What were we talking about again? Us doing what? I don’t remember anything. Remind me again what we did last night?”

Seohyun smiled at Yonghwa’s usual idiotic jokes. “Thanks Yonghwa.”

“Any time,” he smiled back. “Although I’m going to have to tell everyone you got really drunk and threw up on me.” Seohyun spat the orange juice in all off the side of the balcony and hoped she didn’t hit anyone down below with it.

“Yonghwa! I thought we said we were forgetting everything!” she whined. Yonghwa really did want to drop it, but it was much too fun to . “Don’t ever repeat that again!”

“Alright I’ll just call you by your new nickname, ‘The Vomit Comet.’ Yeah, that sounds good doesn’t it?” he continued to tease. Seohyun’s nostrils flared up in anger like they usually did when Yonghwa pissed her off to no end. “You don’t like that name?”

“No I don’t,” she growled back. “Yonghwa you better not tell anyone that I did that.”

“Okay Puke-a-hontas (a pun on Pocahontas for those who don’t get it). I’ll stop.” Seohyun let a snort of hot air escape her flared nostrils before deciding to ignore his childish insults. “How is the bump on your head? I’m sorry that I accidentally ran you into the headboard after you threw up on me.”

“Yonghwaaaaaa~” she whined again. “Stop talking about it!”

He finally stopped his barrage of teases and laughter to shove more of the food she cooked for him. Yonghwa wouldn’t deny that Seohyun needed to perfect her cooking skills, but it was good enough. Besides, she made it especially for him. It would be a waste to not eat it all up.

“So um… did you...?” Seohyun trailed off. Yonghwa looked up expectantly at her, causing her to hang her head down in shyness. “Never mind.”

“What? What is it? Just ask,” he encouraged.

“The stuff we were doing last night? Did you and Hyuna..? I mean I know it’s not my business. Never mind! Don’t answer! I’m sorry I’m so weird.” Yonghwa let out a chuckle before grabbing her hand reassuringly to calm her down. That was one of the million reasons he loved her. She was always so cute and bashful. He was sure there were six year old kids out there that were bolder than her.

“No, I never got that far with her. We had a few really heated make out sessions. One of which almost go to that point, but we were interrupted,” Yonghwa remembered. Seohyun felt relief at hearing his explanation even though she shouldn’t.

“Ah, okay. I was just wondering since you know, um, Hyuna is kind of easy,” she muttered. Even after Hyuna betrayed her, Seohyun still felt bad about insulting her to some extent. “I never did anything with Joon either.”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Yonghwa joked, causing her to blush again. “Anyways, let’s get this cleaned up. I wonder what the hell housekeeping is going to think when they see the puke stain on the bed.” Seohyun groaned before covering her face with her hands in shame.

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The awkward moments between them disappeared much to both of their relief. Neither of them had the courage to continue to bring up how close they had been to giving up their bodies to one another. Even though they were at a beach resort, they hadn’t gone out to truly enjoy the beach. They both had headaches from drinking almost their body weight in alcohol, but they figured they needed to enjoy it while it lasted.

“Really? You’re going to pick this place?” Seohyun asked in disbelief. “Yonghwa, there’s no sun here.”

The place Yonghwa chose to set up their small little camp was covered in shade provided by a small forest of palm trees. Streaks of sunshine made their way through the canopy of leaves, but it wasn’t enough to enjoy the beach at its fullest. “I don’t like the sun. Besides, you know how you get if you stay in the sun too long. You’ll get sick again.”

Seohyun sighed in frustration but let Yonghwa be the boss for the day. It wouldn’t be good if she did end up getting sick. She already wasn’t feeling good, she didn’t need heat on top of it. “Fine…” From the bag of things the hotel provided them, Yonghwa took out a long piece of cloth that Seohyun hadn’t seen before. “What’s that?”

“You’ll see. Grab the other end and pull it to the tree over there,” he ordered while pointing at the tree furthest away from them. Seohyun complied with his wishes and tied a rope-like structure to the thin trunk. Soon enough she found out that he was setting up a large hammock between the trees. “Now do you see why I chose this spot?”

“Yeah,” Seohyun replied. Yonghwa sat on the cloth and patted an area next to him for her to sit. “You should just sleep a bit. I’m sure you’re tired from staying up to… you know.” Yonghwa suppressed his laughter for the thousandth time that day but didn’t say anything. She had been embarrassed enough for one day.

“What are you going to do?” the tired young man questioned. “You look a little tired too. We should sleep a bit so we can enjoy the beach a little later.” Seohyun would have taken up his offer, but she was still too shaken up from last night. The hammock would force them to sleep tightly against each other, something that could only end badly.

“I’ll probably just sunbathe a little.”

“Come here,” he said after patting the hammock again.

 Seohyun ignored his requests, preferring instead to lay out her towel further ahead of the tree covered area. Yonghwa noticed her stripping her clothes to reveal her bathing suit, but didn’t think much of it. Whenever Seohyun wore a bathing suit, it was usually a modest one piece. This time however, he was in for a surprise. Her shirt was discarded to reveal a much racier red bikini top that reminded him an awful lot of the bra she wore last night. Her shorts came off to expose the matching red bikini bottoms.

“I told you I’m going to sunbathe,” she pointed out. “Go to sleep and stop staring at me. I thought we got this over with in the morning you ert!”

“Who says there’s anything to stare at!” he spat back. “It was the alcohol and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” she grumbled, her pride a little hurt at his comment. “Stupid Yonghwa and your stupid attitude…”

Yonghwa would have gone to sleep and ignored her, but her grunts of struggling interrupted him. He looked over to her to see that she couldn’t get the sunscreen on her back. He figured that she probably didn’t ask him for help since she was embarrassed to do so. “Pabo,” he quietly laughed to himself. Yonghwa walked over to her and ripped the sunscreen bottle from her hands. “You should ask for help when you need it.”

Without even asking he squirted a glob of the creamy substance onto his hand before rubbing it onto her back. Seohyun pulled her hair up as she let him do it without any complaint. She felt relieved when she felt his fingers caressing her body without any sort of awkwardness. It was encouraging to see that her body wasn’t getting aroused from the contact. The same couldn’t be said for Yonghwa, but he was glad Seohyun hadn’t noticed.

“Thanks,” she thanked without looking back at him. “Go to sleep. I’ll be fine. I won’t let myself stay in the sun too long.” Yonghwa nodded and headed back to the hammock to make up for the little sleep he got the night before.

Hours went by before Yonghwa’s body finally decided he had enough sleep. The hammock leaned to a different side than before, but that was probably because another person decided to sleep in it as well. The girl that had been sunbathing in the skimpy red bikini was now clothed in her simple t-shirt and shorts as she slept in the hammock. “Jashik… you’re still the same little girl as always.”

The pensive boy looked up at the sky, only to frown when he couldn’t see through the leaves of the palms around. Without making a noise, he slipped out of the hammock to lay on the towel Seohyun set up earlier that afternoon. He sighed while looking up at the sky that was slowly being populated by millions of points of light.

“What are you going to do when this ends Yonghwa?” he asked himself. “This is a dream I never want to wake up from.”  However, reality would make sure they both were rudely awakened. The head lab instructor was probably going to be furious he made a last minute trip with only a tiny email to excuse himself. Their friends and family would surely ask millions of questions once they got home.

“What are ya thinking about?” Seohyun asked while looking down at him. “You’ve never struck me as the stargazing kind.” Before Yonghwa could sit up, Seohyun laid down on the tiny free space the towel had on it.

“I’m just enjoying the view,” he lied. “How was your nap?”

“Good I guess.”

The pair just laid there staring up at the heavens without a word. Nothing really needed to be said at that point. Yonghwa turned his head to see the face of the woman by his side. Even all the stars in the sky put together didn’t twinkle as brightly as her eyes did. He quickly turned away when she caught him stealing glances at her.

“How are you doing in terms of getting over everything that happened?” Yonghwa questioned. It probably wasn’t a good idea to bring up painful memories, but he figured he could help her sort them out. “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to remember anything that’s painful.”

“I felt like dying at that moment Yonghwa. I really did,” she confessed. “I just couldn’t believe that Joon would be cruel enough to leave me waiting at the altar for him. If he was going to do it, he should have told me before so it wouldn’t hurt that much.” Yonghwa had to applaud her for being so strong. Another woman would have probably already jumped into the ocean to kill herself.

“How about now?”

“I think I’ll get over it. I’m just so upset that they stole so much from me,” Seohyun continued to explain.

“What do you mean stole from you?” Yonghwa asked in confusion. “You mean like how Hyuna took Joon away from you?”

“No, not that.” Seohyun sat up to hug her knees and stare at the ocean while she spoke. “It’s just that… I feel like I wasted my entire life because of them. I was so in love with Joon for seven years. I devoted my life to him. In an instant those seven years went straight into the trash can.”

Yonghwa knew exactly what she meant after she explained it. After spending so long with him, she was rewarded with pain and betrayal. After all she invested in her two friends, they only stole more from her. Yonghwa felt betrayed in a way, but he knew he had no say in it. To everyone else, he should feel the same way about Hyuna. He never really liked her though, so he didn’t have feelings as strong as Seohyun’s.

“I gave them so much. What did they do to pay it back? They stole more and left me only with painful memories.” Yonghwa fought the urge to give her a comforting hug. “The thing is, I’m not mad at them. I dislike them a lot, but I don’t hate them,” she admitted. That was a confession Yonghwa hadn’t expected. If it were him, he would be furious.

“Why not? They hurt you so much. You don’t know how much I hate them right now,” Yonghwa growled.

“I know I should hate them, but I don’t.” Yonghwa still had no idea why Seohyun was saying all of that. She had more than enough reasons for her hate to last a life time. “They’re going to get what’s coming to them. There’s no use in me getting mad since it won’t change anything. I really did love Joon, but I can’t let them hurt me anymore.”

Yonghwa felt so proud of her when he heard those words. It made him feel ashamed of himself even. All he thought about was how he was going to get revenge on Joon by chopping his balls off the next time they met. Seohyun was right though. The only thing that getting mad at them would accomplish is getting even more hurt.

“You have to let the past go in order for the future to come,” Seohyun wisely said. “What about you? How are you doing?”

He supposed that she was referring to the way Hyuna betrayed him to be with his ex-best friend. “I guess I’m in the same boat as you on that. I really did try to be a good boyfriend to her but I guess she couldn’t see that.”

“I think she did,” Seohyun interrupted him. “Hyuna may have run away with Joon, but she loves you. I know she does. That girl has been with so many guys before you, I was afraid she would never settle down.”

“How do you know she loved me?” Yonghwa asked.

“That girl’s eyes changed when she was around you. She let all her walls down when she saw you. I never saw smiles on her face like the one’s she had when she was with you,” Seohyun pointed out. Yonghwa couldn’t believe any of the words that she was saying. He had a very black and white view on love. If Hyuna loved him so much, she wouldn’t have done what she did.

“That’s bullcrap,” he spat in annoyance. “If she loved me she would have stayed with me. How can you defend her Seohyun?” That little outburst only made Seohyun believe that Yonghwa actually liked Hyuna for real.

“I told you, I can’t hate her. I know what’s she’s been through.” Yonghwa calmed himself down since there was no use getting angry over this. Seohyun was just too nice of a person to hate someone no matter how much they did her wrong. “I’m never going to forgive them if that’s what you’re thinking. I just don’t want to have any hate in me. It’s just going to make me feel worse.”

“I… understand,” he mumbled. Yonghwa always considered himself a very mature person. He was always level headed and looked at everything logically. This time, Seohyun blew him out of the water with her philosophy. Those words only made him fall even more for her. The girl sitting next to him was just too damn perfect for words to describe.

Quiet moments went by with the waves being the only things doing the talking on the beach. After the serious conversation they shared, neither of them knew what else to talk about. “Would I have wasted seven years of my life if you had been there?” Seohyun said when finally breaking the silence.

“I was there,” Yonghwa pointed out. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You can’t joke about this.” Yonghwa nodded and tried his hardest to be as serious as he could. Even so, he knew he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t laugh. “I think it would have been better if we hadn’t become best friends. I know if I spent all those seven years walking beside you, they wouldn’t have been wasted.”

“Eh?” he asked in surprise. “You mean like us dating?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sad smile on her face. “You know lately I’ve thought about it like that time I asked you in the courtyard at the university. What would have happened if I dated you and not Joon? Would we be here together still? Would we have lasted longer?”

Yonghwa had no words to reply. Well, he did, but he couldn’t say them. The answer to Seohyun’s questions had been in his head since he could remember. He was 100% sure that he would have never broken her heart. He would have cherished her more than any other person on this planet. “I don’t know,” he lamely responded. “Why are you asking this?”

“It’s just a little question I’ve had. You know me better than Joon does which is sad. Even after you left for four years, we were still best friends,” she explained.

“So what are you going to do now?” Yonghwa asked her vaguely.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean in terms of dating. I’m sure your views have changed from what happened. Are you going to try to give dating a shot any time soon?”

“As much as I would love to have someone in my life again to help me out, I can’t do that.” Those words were all that Yonghwa needed to hear to know where his place was.  He knew Seohyun would say something like that. It was only fair to assume she had been turned off by dating after what happened. “Dating is the last thing on my mind. Joon’s actions helped me learn I’m not ready for anything serious. I almost made a huge mistake in marrying him. I’m too young to get married.”

“Ah, I see,” Yonghwa replied quietly. “Even if the perfect guy asks you to be his girlfriend?”

“I think he might have to wait,” Seohyun responded playfully. “After the wounds have healed and I know exactly how to deal with my heart, I’ll let him come into my life.” The way Seohyun stared into Yonghwa’s eyes at that moment gave him hope. It was a sign. It had to be. She was pretty much letting him know that she would be there if he waited just a little more.

“I don’t want to keep him waiting, but I’m not mature enough for a boyfriend. I lived my whole life naively with Joon. I don’t know the first thing about dating. I couldn’t even catch him cheating on me for who knows how long. I need to mature a lot more before I can even put the word boyfriend in my head.  I think after I learn about what it truly means to be in love, I’ll be ready for that perfect guy.”

“Are you going to take a long time with that?” Yonghwa asked, clearly asking for his own benefit even if he wasn’t explicitly stating it. “Who knows how long he would wait.”

“I’m not going to keep him waiting long. Especially since I know he’s gonna be perfect in every way possible.”

The pair stopped smiling at each other to look out to the ocean together. Even though nothing was set in stone, they felt like they just confessed to one another. Seohyun really did want to tell him everything, but she was so scared. Joon’s betrayal left some pretty deep wounds in her heart. She knew Yonghwa would never do that to her, but her heart’s natural reaction was to close up so that it could heal. He also felt a little relieved. There was definitely a chance for him in the future. That confirmation was all Yonghwa ever needed. It would be much too selfish of him to confess to her in her frazzled state. It would only make it even harder for her to make sense of her feelings. The conversation they were sharing was enough for Yonghwa, at least for the moment.

“I’m really glad that you’re here with me. I’m not lying when I say that you’re one of the most important people in my life,” Seohyun confided. “If it wasn’t for you, I would probably be sitting here crying instead of getting over it.” At that moment, Seohyun remembered the lyrics of the song that she and Yonghwa sang at her congratulatory party. Those lyrics so perfectly described the situation at that moment, it was almost scary.

“Living day by day, clashing in this world – when these things get hard
When you feel like you’re just one single person out of the countless people

When I see your eyes, looking at me lovingly, I feel special
When you hold me in your warm embrace, all my scars on my body heal”

Things were always hard for her even if she was a rich girl. There were always moments she had to spend alone and sit in her room while all the other kids played outside. Just as the lyrics said, she felt like one person alone even when there was a crowd around her. Then Yonghwa would show up and that would all change. After Joon’s betrayal, she felt useless. Seohyun hated that Joon left her for a woman that could give him what he needed, something she couldn’t give him. The man sitting next to her changed that. With the way he always stood by her side, she felt needed and special.

“You’re not just one of the most important in my life. You are the most important,” he blurted out. He wasn’t acting anymore. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. Yonghwa felt like there was no reason for him to hide it anymore. Even though Seohyun wasn’t going to agree to be his girlfriend if he asked, he had to put it out there. Her words earlier gave him hope. There was nothing more he had to lose.

“I… um…” Seohyun stuttered. Something about the way he said it sounded like he was serious. Ever since he was back by her side, she felt like there was more to his feelings than just a love for a friend. When she thought about it, everything from the past seemed to confirm her suspicion. However, she was weak and afraid. If she was making false assumptions she would be shattering their friendship. “The same goes for me.”

“It’s just a shame that it takes so much for us to be able to mature,” Yonghwa noted without taking his eyes off the dark ocean. “If only it were easier for people to be honest and open with each other. Maybe then we wouldn’t make so many mistakes.”

“I guess that’s why I fell in love with Joon and you ended up dating Hyuna,” Seohyun noted. “It’s funny the way the world works.”

“Yeah, it really is.”                      

With those final words, the conversation ended. The two friends remained that, just friends. No matter how hard they acted to be husband and wife, they both feared what would happen if either made a move. Both Seohyun and Yonghwa would rather be friends forever than date only to end up hating each other. The two were frustratingly cowardly, but that’s just how humans are.

Humans are creatures go for the easy path with the least amount of pain. Even if there’s a bigger reward at the end of the path covered in rocks and thorns, they will always choose the clear path to avoid being hurt. Seohyun wanted to honestly try dating Yonghwa. Her previous experience with him assured her she would be taken care of forever. Then her heart would close up to scream for her to rethink it. It had been hurt enough and needed to be left alone for a while. Yonghwa knew this and respected it. No longer did his heart ache for her to be his. She was acknowledging that she would eventually be there when she was ready and that’s all that he needed to know.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Closer to the shores of South Korea was another island popular for honeymooners, Jeju Island. It was the place where the average Joe in Korea would spend a week with his wife after getting married. One such person that was currently doing that was Lee Joon. His new wife Hyuna on the other hand was not enjoying it as much as he was. Being the wife of a rich man, she expected somewhere more extravagant. Sure a 5-star hotel was still a 5-star hotel, but it would have been even better to go somewhere more exciting.

The newlyweds sat in their hot tub to wash away the tiredness of hiking up the rocky beaches that Jeju had on it. “Gotta love these hot tubs huh?” Joon asked while throwing his head back in relief. “I really don’t want to go back to see the mess we caused. Still, we made it so we have to clean it up.”

“What?!” Hyuna spat at him when she was broken out of her thoughts. “You want to go back to Seoul? Are you crazy or something?” She sat up in the tub to throw a glare at her new husband.

“Why what’s wrong with that? Hyuna, we screwed everyone over back home.” Joon sat up to meet her with a look that told her he wasn’t going to back down. “I’m not just going to leave it like that for everyone else to clean up.”

Joon wasn’t a bad person. He knew that he had to fix everything he messed up, especially Seohyun’s broken heart. Hyuna on the other hand, had no intentions of fixing anything. The problems that others had to deal with weren’t hers. She felt sorry for her grandmother, but she was sure she would be fine. At least there would be a mouth less to feed. Joon’s righteous attitude was something she hadn’t expected from him.

“Let’s think about that later,” Hyuna said in efforts to change the subject. She was sure with the right amount of ‘persuasion’ she would get him to follow her desires. “We’re here to relax aren’t we? Come over to the room when you’re done here.”

Joon knew exactly what that meant. It was an invitation to have another episode of fun on their honeymoon bed. Even though Joon did admit that he was having way too much with Hyuna, that wasn’t all he wanted from her. He legitimately had feelings for her and he felt that she did too. He figured she wouldn’t leave everything behind if she didn’t like him at least a little bit.

Joon quickly dried his body off with the white hotel towels before heading over to meet his wife in the bedroom. People normally wore swimsuits in hot tubs, at least he did with his friends, but when Hyuna was around, there was no need for it. He found Hyuna waiting in a towel of her own in the bed they had already spent 3 nights together with 4 more to go.

“ you’re so y,” Joon whispered when he lay next to her. It didn’t matter how sinful his desires were, he couldn’t suppress them. With Hyuna by his side, nothing mattered except her. “Are you sure you’re not too tired? We’ve been a little too ‘active’ lately.”

Hyuna had no intention of letting Joon get away with his excuses. was the only way she was going to control him. There was another reason for her to want to sleep with him as much as she could. Most women developed feelings for men they slept with. That’s why a lot of young girls made so many mistakes. They fell for the s that took their innocence away. Joon was her husband, but she didn’t love him. Hyuna figured if she shared enough contact with him, she would finally fall for him and have everything she wanted.

“Make me yours again,” she purred while running her hands through his hair. He on her neck lightly, causing her to moan. As much as she didn’t have feelings for him, she still did have fun with him, so it wasn’t a total loss.

“Saranghae,” she heard a deep voice confess. Hyuna’s eyes shot open and she looked at the man’s face in front of her. The man she married wasn’t the one on top of her. Instead another man named Yonghwa was staring back at her. Hyuna had to be seeing things. There was no way Yonghwa was there with her. She knew she was with Joon.

“I love you too,” she confessed back, but it wasn’t meant for Joon. Hyuna was saying it to the vision of Yonghwa in front of her. Things like this had been happening to her since she ran away with Joon. Whenever Joon would do something nice for her, she was reminded of how Yonghwa would do the same with her. Every time she shared a kiss with Joon, she would pull back and see Yonghwa’s face for a second.

Joon slowly unraveled the towel around her and let his hands roam over her body. What she felt was the touch of the man she knew she truly loved. Hyuna imagined herself making love to Yonghwa as Joon took her body and made her his. Even after they finished, the sleeping body she hugged wasn’t Joon’s.

“Wake up Hyuna,” she told herself. “You’re going to love Joon now. Yonghwa is dead to you.” After the confused woman shook her crazy visions out of her head, she took note of her real husband in her bed. Her little episodes of craziness were starting to get on her nerves since each time they grew more real after each time. If she ever managed to yell Yonghwa's name while she made love to Joon, Hyuna knew she would be in deep trouble.

Author’s Note: So that little note I left last time still stands. Don’t ever trust my writing until I give you guys confirmation that it’s going to finally be what everyone wants. That being said, I’m REALLY sorry but I will have to disappoint you all again. That’s as much as I will say. If you must be angry at me next chapter, I will gladly take it all gracefully without any complaint. I will promise one thing. Chapter like 22ish is it. Just wait out until then please! I will be sure to finally give everyone the peace they deserve. Sorry again for dragging it out :(.

It’s only a few more chapters I really promise. This chapter was a mini resolution still. They both acknowledge each other’s feelings regardless if they explicitly say it or not. I’ll give you what you all want. Please don’t kill me yet!