Not His Girlfriend

"Let me move in with you and I won't spill that you're Kim Jonghyun!"

A/N: I started a new fanfic starring Taemin... ^^ for those who want to check it out: We Meet on AFF...

-----------------------

Jonghyun’s POV

I guess one would probably reach the conclusion that I was hung up on a girl after seeing all that… And in a sense it was the truth… but not in the way she thinks…

“You don’t have a girlfriend?” Confusion was written all over Ghosty’s face.

“Nope I don’t… never had, actually…” I stared at the cake on my plate.

“Never had?! But everyone says you’re an incorrigible—“

“Playboy?” I finished for her.

She nodded. “Ye… Are you claiming that they’re all lying?”

“Ani,” I grinned. “I ‘went out’ with girls before, sure…”

“Then why are you saying you’ve never had a girlfriend?!”

“Because I don’t think they are considered girlfriends. It’s always been more of a flirt than a real relationship…”

“Wow, you’re a playboy alright! I was right not to let you get near Hyo Rin! Those poor girls!”

“Poor girls my !” I scoffed. “Do they approach me because they genuinely like me?! No, of course not! When they don’t even know the real me! The sole reason why they want to get close to me is because of my status! They don’t like me; they like my fame and money!” I was breathing heavily because I’d gotten so enraged. “So don’t you dare sympathise with those es!” Who did she think she was?!

“…That’s why you don’t trust girls?” Ghosty asked after a moment of silence. “Because of a few greedy women…?”

I looked up. Ghosty was watching me with a frown. I wasn’t sure if it was one of concern or disbelieve… “It wasn’t just a few…!” I defended. “Besides, they’re not the reason anyway…”

“Then what is?”

“Why do you even care?”

“Because it is the reason you won’t let me tell Hyo Rin!”

“Yeah right…”

“…and because I’m curious…” She added in a tiny voice and bit her lip. And… was that blush on her cheeks?!

“What?”

“I want to know why you distrust women…” She was still not meeting my eyes. “I have a feeling that it has something to do with your nightmares… so I’m curious…”

Damn right! How did she figure that out? Did I say something in my sleep?! I knew I should have looked my bedroom door to prevent her from entering my room at night! But whenever I had been about to turn the key I thought of how having her sleep besides my bed and holding her hand miraculously kept the nightmares away and I couldn’t bring myself to lock the door anymore…

“Am I wrong?” She asked when I didn’t answer.

“…no, you’re right…” She was absolutely right. In fact she’d been dangerously perceptive the past week. Even my eating habits hadn’t gone unnoticed. That’s why I was hesitating. She already knew more than enough about me. There was absolutely no reason for me to tell her. Quite the opposite actually; considering that she’d blackmailed me before. But…

“…um… Kim Jonghyun-ssi…”

I looked up and saw her playing with her cup. She then raised her head too and met my eyes. “Kim Jonghyun-ssi. This may sound formal and uncomfortable since we don’t really know each other… and since I’m a woman too… But what I want to say is… I’m offering you a listening ear… your nightmares; whatever problem lies behind them… if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

She’ll listen to my problem? And sell it to the best paying reporter tomorrow morning…

“As I said, I’m a woman too… I can’t change that… The only thing I can say is that even though I had plenty of chances to tell Hyo Rin today, I didn’t.”

Could she read thoughts or what?! But something told me that she was speaking the truth. Maybe it was the sincerity in her eyes, maybe it was something else. But regardless of how it went against all logic I felt that she would never tell. And now that I was thinking about it, I had actually never seen her as a woman either… obviously she also wasn’t a guy. But I had never put her in the same category as all the women I knew…

Maybe that was why I could sit in a café with her and chat like we were now? Maybe that was why I let her into my room while I slept when even my members weren’t allowed to do that? And maybe that was also the reason why I actually felt like telling her about why I distrusted women? Why I, as impossible as it sounds, trusted her? Trusted Ghosty? I must be crazy…

“But it will take a while…” I finally said; still being indecisive.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ghosty assured with a small smile on her lips and I momentarily forgot what I’d wanted to say.

“…and I don’t know where to start…” I confessed.

“How about your nightmares?” She suggested. “You keep pleading for someone not to leave you. But you say you don’t have a girlfriend…”

“Arasso…” I drew a deep breath. “It is always the same dream… I’m standing on the bottom step of the stairs in front of our house facing the broad and straight drive. It is a hilariously beautiful spring morning and the flowers alongside the drive are prettier than ever. It’s like the weather hasn’t realised yet what’s happening either… Then I hear the sound of the door and the tapping of someone descending the stairs… I don’t turn around though; I know perfectly well who it is without looking… Soon she comes into my field of view as she walks past me. She turns around to look at me; her kind and caring smile on her lips as if it was just any other day…”

I felt my insides churning, knowing what came next. Still, I continued. “She squats down to match my eyelevel because even though I’m standing on the step a ten years old body isn’t that tall yet… She grabs my shoulders and then over my head. ‘Jonghyun-ah, grow up to be a fine man, oh?’ she says. ‘Ye! But where are you going?’ I ask and point at the suitcases behind her. ‘I can’t tell you…’ she answers still smiling. ‘Jonghyun-ah. I won’t be coming back. So don’t look for me, understand? I won’t be coming back…’ I like to believe that there are tears in her eyes when she says that but I’m not sure… She then places a kiss on my forehead, turns around, and walks down the drive…”

I hid my shaking hands beneath the table. “I want to run after her but my body won’t move… I can only shout… But no matter how loud I scream for her not to leave me, to stay, or to at least take me with her she never stops or turns around. And in the end I wake up with the picture of an empty drive and gate lingering in my mind…”

I smiled sadly and heaved a sigh. “Yep. On the day I turned ten that woman left me, my sister, my brother, and my father for good… I should be grateful though… If she, the witch who lied to us all for more than ten years, hadn’t left, I’d probably still be calling out for her affectionately like I’d been back then… ‘Omma, omma! Love you, omma~!’”

 

-----------------------------

Ahhhh, my poor Jjong!!! :,( Now I feel bad coming up with that storyline... T.T *sigh*

Wish you all a happy new year!!!
Oh and yes, comments, subscribers, and silent readers are still very much appreciated! ;P I read all you're comments even if I haven't answered all of them yet (sry!) and was veryvery happy!! <3

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Kjerena
Also, I hit my head pretty bad and might even have a slight concussion... :( so, for now I'll have to sray in bed and see how it goes... Anyway, sorry! >

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
pinkypn #1
I hope you will complete try story once you feel ready. I have been a fan of shinee since the beginning and I still can't believe that he is gone. But I would still like stories with jonghyun would be finished and not deleted like what other authors are doing. I think it would be fine to finish stories with him. I feel like these stories make me believe he is still here.
darkmercuryplanet
#2
Chapter 73: Hello again! Hope that you are okay, please, comeback soon, I love to read next chapter!!! Thanks!
darkmercuryplanet
#3
Chapter 73: Thank you for the new chapter!!! I love it hahaha, our couple is so cute! I like so much Shinee with the questions scene hahaha. And the mark in her neck oh God! I love how you write about Jonghyun and his feelings it keeps me smiling... This fanfic is so awesome. I can't wait for more ;) Thanks for keep writing, you're the best!!!!
darkmercuryplanet
#4
Chapter 71: Please update soon dear author!!!
shankerider
#5
Chapter 71: ...... what's with the cold shower...? Can anyone explain to me?
MCBeanz #6
Chapter 70: YAY! I'm glad you're back i really missed this fanfic! You're doing a good job on it!
darkmercuryplanet
#7
Chapter 71: Hey, she can touch but he can't hahaha!! Come on, don't froze the next time HaNeul :D
darkmercuryplanet
#8
Chapter 71: OMG, you're back!!!!! I'm so happy, I missed so much this fanfic, I keep writing to you, and I was really worried about you. But you're fine and have excellent news about yourself, like your trip and studies, awesome...now, the fanfic, yeahhhhhh I loveee Jjong and HaNeul , love the overflowing love!!! Hahaha poor Jonghyun, he needs a cold bath haha :) dear author, thanks for your return and happy new year!
GoldenAngelFeather
#9
ooh wow i've been busy and all but seeing this!! you're finally back to aff?! :D
Elverie
#10
Chapter 71: Hoooly , it seems like ages since you wrote something :D Finally back in Switzerland sweetie? ^^