Your POV

I smile as I look at Jongup as he walks into my new dorm room in the TS Entertainment dorms. I’m glad I’m already dressed for my day.

“Hey, Jongup what’s up?”

“Nothing just thought I’d come too check on my girlfriend.”

“It’s nice of you to do that.”

My phone starts ringing and I sigh as I pick it up, “Yeah.”

“Good you answered listen Emma I need you to turn on the TV.”

“What? Why?’

“Just turn it on,” Tae groans.

I sigh as I walk away from Jongup’s arms and turn my TV onto the news.

“Now our story of the day is about the new singer, Emma Song.  This story is about the release of a series of videos onto YouTube. There is no definite source of where the videos came from but they are tagged and written up as Emma Song. The videos are of her causing some trouble for people and even getting beaten up herself.”

I feel myself stop breathing as I look at my computer, “This must be either Michael’s fault or my parents. Tae… we’re going to do a press conference about this right?”

“We’ll address this as soon as possible since this is going to destroy your image and you just created it.”

I keep Tae on the line as I dig through a small box that has some of my old things inside it like my old cellphone in it.

I pop it open ignoring all the Facebook updates and go through my voicemails of Michael threatening me and around the time I debuted he was trying to blackmail me.

I stare at the phone and curse a few times, “Tae, how much would it cost to have someone killed?”

“Too much for you if you don’t want it traced back to you.”

“It’s just one low life it’s not like a lot of people will miss him.”

“Is there a way for me to press charges on him even though I’m living in Korea?”

“Maybe, but you have no proof that it’s him.”

“I know I don’t, but it has to be him. The only person who had those videos were him and Mindy.”

“How do you know it wasn’t Mindy? She is a .”

I find the link to the YouTube channel and click on the 1st video which is of me fighting with Michael about some stupid thing he did.

He just stood there until he started to hit me after he threatened Mindy.

I look around the room before I start typing an email to 1of my hacker friends to hack into the IP address to find out who’s the 1 putting these videos online.

I look at Jongup who I remember is in the room with me and heard and say everything.

I touch spots where my scars are and I’ve been hiding with stage makeup when I go on talk shows.

“Tae… Can I not cover my scars for the press conference?”

I know my cousin would be looking at me like I’m insane much like I’m crazy much like Jongup is.

“Why would you do that?”

“Cause I’m tired of hiding my scars. I’ll be hiding them at least as long as my contract and how long is that?”

“10 years,” Tae answers.

“You expect me to cover these things for 10 or so years. That’s insane.”

My cousin knows that the scars are a problem for me to begin with, “They are what destroy your mood. Emma think about this?”

“No… I can’t think about it Tae these scars aren’t many or big. There are people weaker than me who have scars that they can’t hide like these. How can I try to be a role model if I hide everything about my past from people?”/

Tae is silent for a while before he agrees, “Fine. Open a twitter and everything and talk against the videos.”

I sigh knowing my cousin won’t listen to me since he’s been going after me too open social medias that my fans can follow me on.

I already had my own YouTube channel which I guess I can use to fight against these videos.

I pull up the videos taking clips out of them and start working on a video. Again I forget that Jongup is in the room with me.

“Hey, I know it’s been a while since I uploaded any kind of video since I debuted, but I heard the news that a collection of videos have been released about me and I want to address them. I will admit they are me. These are videos that my ex took too blackmail me with when I was still living in LA. He abused me and he would take videos of him doing so. I think he took some kind sick pleasure in beating me like that. I never spoke up against it. I let him beat me all cause he’d threaten my friends who I thought would do the same for me, but they don’t believe that he would do something like that too someone. I think it’s cause they never know the true face of someone until you pull off their mask for the world to see. My ex is 1 of those people that you need to pull the mask from. So I thought before I address this in a conference tell people the story behind those videos and the scars that resulted because of situations like that.”

I tell stories about my past life living in LA and the people that I left behind, “I didn’t want to know too about my past, but I realized this I can’t hide for the rest of my life that 1 day the truth would come out. I was tired of hiding my scars and I realized that there are women and children with worse scars and they don’t try to hide them behind make-up.”

I grab a towel as I hold up my arm as I wipe off the make-up that I had put on them just for this occasion.

“These scars are my punishment for not fighting him. I know if I truly fought him then I would have won. My ex wasn’t very big on people who fought back he would have dumped me and I would have been free. That’s at what I thought but when I moved here too Seoul he has yet to leave me alone. I fear for my life most days because he’s from a richer family that can pay to cover for his mistakes…”

I stop the recording and simply stare at the screen as I resume it, “An ocean can separate people, but with electronics and social medias you can’t really escape your past. I know that my past will always follow me no matter I go. I just hoping that it’d be slowed down with the language barrier. I guess I’ll have to explain my past more in an interview about issues that people had with me.”

I edited the video a bit before I upload just as text that says that I will have a conference addressing these videos and my past.

I look at Jongup as I whisper, “I’m afraid.”

Jongup nods as he walks over to me and says, “We are here for you no matter what remember that Emma. Now let’s get the guys and head over to  your cousin’s.”

As the computer tells me the video was uploaded I exit out of everything and shut it off for the day.

We walk away from my dorm and right when i enter the BAP dorm I’m tackled into a heavy momma Himchan and maknae Junhong.

I chuckle a little as I push them away enough for I can stand up only to have the other 3 members pull me into a right hug.

“Guys let me go. I know you heard, but I’m strong you know that and I’m addressing them in a conference in an hour…”

My phone goes off and I check the message.

“Tae is picking me up so I better get dressed… They have clothing for me.”

I sigh as my cousin probably is knocking at my dorm room but after a few minutes he knocks on BAP’s dorm door. As Yongguk opens the door I look up and wave to him as I lay on the couch.

“Get up, we’re running late. Sorry guys that you can’t come.”

They nod but I’m pulled into Jongup’s arms as he whispers into my ear, “I’ll see you later today. I’ll have your favorite for you.”

“Jinjja?”

He nods his head and I smile, “Alright then I’ll see you tonight.”

As I leave the dorm I hear the guys whispering together but I ignore them.

I walk with my cousin as we leave the dorm complex and drive to the TS building.

Right when I enter the building I’m dragged to a dressing room where they force a nice looking peach colored sweater on me and a nice pair of white leggings and white ballet flats.

As they do my hair I sit there and let them play with my hair.

As I exit the room I pushed into the small area where they do conferences like this.

The entire time we’re taking questions I’m playing with my sleeves waiting for someone to address the scars that I showed on my video.

When they do I calmly tell them a bit about my past and how I have been running from it these last 2 months and a half months.

As the conference ends I hear someone say, “So are you dating 1 of the members of BAP?”

I almost trip since I was standing up so i lean over as I carefully sit down again, “We both have dating bans. I’m very close with BAP if that’s what you are asking.”

“What does a dating ban have anything to do with whether or not idols date or not?”

I feel my eyebrow twitch under my bangs, “It deals with whether or not we want to be kicked out of the company or not. We all have penalties on our contracts saying if we break certain rules and bans.”

“Though Jongup is with you when you did a video earlier this morning addressing your history.”

I lie off the bat, “Jongup had already heard what had happened like the rest of the BAP members knowing my fear of my past came over to my dorm too check up on me. He was there since he’s a close friend that we’ve become since I came to Seoul. We became close because the was quiet and listen to me as we’d dance. He’d always have helpful tips and he’d deal with my criticism.”

The reporters seem too buy that lie and again I stand up and bow slightly too them as I take the microphone from the table, “Thank you for coming today. I’m sorry that I can’t address more of your questions that you have.”

I turn around and leave them and I don’t bother changing back into my sweatshirt instead I simply walk out too my cousin’s car and wait for him to get too me.

My phone goes off and I answer it, “Hello.”

“So you finally think you have the guts that you can tell the world about what happened between you and me.”

“You were the 1 that uploaded those videos.”

He laughs slightly, “You weren’t answering my calls. I got angry.”

“Well don’t expect me not to tell the world what you did too me.”

“Well I have to say I was glad that I was already leaving when the police showed up at my house cause of your little video.”

“Oh where are you going?”

“Oh you’ll see very soon.”

I drop the phone into the seat as my cousin shows up with my bag of clothing and things I left in the dressing room.

“Emma are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just take me home.”

I pick up my phone to see when I dropped it hung up.

I turn off the phone and toss it out the window and smile when I see people run it over.

I look at my phone I got for Seoul smiling; “Now I’m really letting the past go even though it’s right behind me.”

My cousin takes a peek at me and says, “Do you want me to bring the twins over to the dorm for a short visit?”