Your POV

When I reach my cousin’s home you slip into your pajamas, look over at my phone, and smile at the fun days I’ve been having with Jongup.

The two of us have become closer than Jongup is with the other members of the band when they redid their hair I simply smiled and told them they still looked great. Jongup wasn’t the only person that blushed.

I flip through my pictures and laugh as I look at the goofy pictures that B.A.P and I take together but I’m not like them I don’t have a Twitter and I no longer post things to my Facebook except once in awhile cause I have nothing better to do.

Still it’s mostly word posts and maybe a picture to show people that I'm changing and there’s nothing they can do about it

As I look at the photos, I smile brightly thinking how much I'm changing.

How I’m now doing well in school and behaving.

My cousin is even noticing how I’m smiling more often and joke around with people that I’ve met in Seoul. In school my teachers started to ignore the notes in my file about how I was a menace to society.

I fall asleep a little bit later with a smile on my face.

Early in the morning I’m awakened by my phone ringing.

I ignore it and look over at my alarm clock to see that I should get up anyways since its only ten minutes before my alarm goes off.

When I walk back into the room I unlock my phone and see that the call was from a Skype number.

Sighing I look to see that I have a new voicemail.

I go through my voicemails they are mostly my mother yelling at me to answer her calls and messages.

The last call though made my blood run cold it was from my ex and he had started to threaten me.

It was nothing new but he has a passport and the money to pay for a ticket to come to Seoul a hundred times if he wanted to go through with his threats. A lot of them were on my life, but everyone else that you’ve made friends with well in Seoul are threatened. I save the voicemail and think of whom I should show it to.

I know that I should show it to Jongup, but he’d just worry and try to make things better probably hurting himself in the process knowing how my ex’s anger is.

I hug myself remembering the last beating I had gotten from him. He had threatened one of my friend’s life if I would leave him and being the person that I am, I stayed with him but received a beating that I’d had to come up a lie to cover up not that much later.

I tried to tell my friends but they didn’t believe me since he’s so perfect I must have done all the bruises and cuts to myself. I should have found better friends but they were all I had.

I roll out of bed and slowly make myself go through my daily ritual of getting ready for school.

When I’m finished I look in the mirror and decide that I’m going to skip the make-up and simply slip on my school uniform still the threats that he said are a lot like the ones where he had accidently hit my best friend with a car like he told me he would.

Walking down the stairs I think of a reason of why I don’t shine with a happy smile. They look over at me and gasp. I must look like you’re half dead.

“Cuz are you alright you don’t look to good? Are you sick?”

I shake my head and keep looking down at my hands.

I hear Jongup and Zelo at the door so I jump up ignoring the breakfast that’s sitting on the table and grab my bag as I run out the door.

Ignoring the looks the guys gave me, I keep running hoping that they won’t run after me even though they probably are going to. When I reach the corner right before I start to meet up with other students I pull myself together and start to walk as I turn the corner I feel someone grab my hand pulling me back.

I turn to deliver a blow to see that it’s Yongguk. Right away I start to ball my eyes out and cling onto his shirt. He sighs and starts my hair to try and I to calm down a bit.

“Emma what’s wrong?”

Instead of answering him I have him listen to the voicemail. When he’s done listening his face can only be describe with the phrase if looks could kill.

I tell him that my ex isn’t all talk about all the times he’s gone through with his threats. Yongguk sighs and sits down surprised that I could talk so fast and make something that would take an hour to explain into a five minute thing.

I sit next to him glad my habit of wearing spandex shorts under skirts is still in effect. I start to cry again and Yongguk pulls me into a hug and starts to flip through his phone probably calling someone to pick me up.

When a car pulls up and Daehyun and Youngjae run out of the car over to me sweeping me into their arms. I almost want to hit their hands away from me but I know that there would be no point of it.

I hear footsteps coming my way and I know that its Zelo and Jongup. As I climb into the car I give Yongguk that pleads him not to tell anyone. He nods and tells the first lie that wasn’t a complete lie for me.

“Where are we going aren’t you going to take me home?”

“Nope we’re going to make you feel better,” Youngjae says well looking back at you.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going to the studio to dance and just mess around Yongguk is probably trying to get Zelo and Jongup out of school today as long as they keep up with their school work,” Youngjae says.

Daehyun looks back at me, “So are you going to tell us what’s wrong?”

I remember all my bruises and wish that I had stayed strong and made it to school instead of breaking down in Yongguk’s arms and told him. I shake my head as fast as I can and pull my arms close to my body much like I had done when BAP saw my scars when I first met them. They seemed to have gotten that my past is trying to come to my present and my future that I’m trying to create without anyone from my past interfering with my life.

“You should talk about this with Jongup like you do all your problems,” Daehyun says when he pulls up to the studio building.

“If I tell him all of you will need to know cause it’s going to piss every single one of you off,” I tell them and they shrug.

“Oh well,” Dae and Jae say together.

I start to laugh creating the first smile of the day that they had created. Jae and Dae pull me into the practice room. Not that much later after the three of us had started a game of poker that I have been winning Yongguk, Jongup, and Zelo walk into the room.

Jae and Dae give me a look making me stand up and walk over to Jongup, “Jongup can I talk to you?”

“Ummm… Yeah of course you can.”

I nod and start to push him out of the room as I do so I turn back to give Yongguk the ok look that he can explain the situation.

When I shut the door, I grab Jongup’s hand and almost drag him to the company’s gardens that no one ever really came to.

As I sit down Jongup follows, I lead. I tell him about my past something I avoided why I stayed in an abusive relationship when I wasn’t happy. When I was done explaining that I explain my most recent problem wondering what it had to do with me but the entire time Jongup is serious.

When I’m done I wince a little bit trying to stop myself from rubbing my arms too hard, but after a little bit longer of silence I go to do that again, but Jongup takes a hold of my hands and pull them to him, pulling me close up to him as he hugged me.

Jongup is growing up and coming out of his shy boy shell and I’m glad because of moments like this.

He pulls back and smiles at me, “You don’t have to worry about him cause: one we can take care of ourselves and two won’t let anything happen to you.”

I smile and before I can stop myself, I lean up, and kiss Jongup. I realize what I had done and go to leave only to be pulled flush against his chest and he rests his chin on my head.

“Why did you try and run? Do you think kissing me was a mistake?”

“Of course not it’s just we just became close friends and I’m not sure what you think of me.”

He starts to laugh at me, “Oh how child-like innocence you suddenly have or you just don’t realize that I like you a lot and have been trying to figure out for the last two months how I was going to ask you out. So will you go out with me?”

I can’t help but to laugh and look up at him cursing his height advantage, “Let me think,” I make a look of disgust and use my I could careless voice, “Of course I’d want to go out with you silly,”  my voice is high pitched and excited by the time I finish my sentence.