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It was the headache that woke Chae In up that night. She opened her eyes with a grunt, tossing and turning in her narrow bed. Every inch of her body hurt. was dry, furry and her limbs painful. She felt like the whole city had partied inside her skull. She sighed and tried to sat up, pulling herself up with her elbows, but too weak, she soon gave up. Wincing, she laid back down and bit her lip. Her hand reached for her stomach and she slowly the large band-aid covering the left side of her waist, closing her eyes in a sigh.

 

« What do you mean, a problem ? »

 

Chae In frowned as Doctor Jung took off his glasses and crossed his hands on his desk. He took a deep breath before looking up at her with worried eyes.

 

« I'm afraid I can't give you the details, but in short, it means we have to find a new donor. »

 

Her heart dropped in her chest as tears were forming in her eyes. She blinked in disbelief, clenching her fist on her chest.

 

« But... But there's no time, we have to... How can we... How... »

 

Her vision started to blur as she had difficulty breathing. She couldn't think straight nor form a correct sentence. Seeing how overwhelmed she was, Doctor Jung tried to comfort her.

 

« Calm down, Chae In-ssi, I'm sure we can find a wa-

- Am I compatible ? »

 

had spoken before her brain even thought, but she didn't care. Doctor Jung blinked, caught off guards.

 

« I-I'm sorry, what ?

- I'm asking you if I'm a compatible donor.

- Chae In-ssi, you can't... I mean, we can't rush, we have to see all of the options first and then-

- We don't have time, Doctor, you know that. This is the only option we have right now and I don't wanna waste any time. So please, answer my question. »

 

He sighed and shook his head.

 

« I guess, since you're a family member, there might be higher chances but... Are you sure about this, Chae In-ssi ? We have to talk about the consequences of such an operation and run some tests-

- Do whatever is necessary, but please, Doctor, let me save him if I can. I'm begging you, please. Save my little brother. »

 

And her scar proved she had succeeded. Her brother would soon wake up from surgery with a brand new and functional kidney, ready to start a new life.

Little by little, Chae In's smile turned into a nervous laugh as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. Giving up a kidney was a small price to pay compared to her brother's life, and she had made that choice in full knowledge . But that didn't make it any easier. Because it also meant giving up her passion, her goals and dreams. And that wound would take a lot more time to heal.

 

 

*

 

 

Minhyuk had to admit, the radio studio felt a little empty without his partner. He couldn't blame her though, she would need time to fully recover from such a serious operation. It was a relief everything had went alright, but it was still hard for him to visit her since he wasn't family.

It had all went so fast. One minute, he was finding out about her sick brother and the next, she was lying in a hospital bed next to him. It had been quite a shock, no doubt, but even if he understood her reasons and supported her, he still needed time to adjust to the situation.

And the worst part was, Bang Yong Guk knew. He knew way before Minhyuk did, and that thought was unbearable. He was really trying to make efforts and get over it, but jealousy was consuming him. He just hated him.

And he missed her.

Knock, knock.

Brought back to reality, Minhyuk turned to the door with a smile, which immediately disappeared as soon as he saw who was standing there.

 

« What do you want ? »

 

Bang Yong Guk let out a nervous laugh before stepping in.

 

« Well, hello to you too.

- Don't force yourself, Minhyuk answered coldly from his chair, looking at his notes as if Yong Guk wasn't here, Chae In's not here.

- I know. Actually, that's why I came. »

 

Minhyuk looked up and turned to his sworn enemy with a frown.

 

« I haven't seen her in days, she's not coming to school, she won't answer my texts or my calls and-

- Do you take me for a relationship counselor ? 

- Where the hell is she ? » Yong Guk almost screamed.

 

Though worry was showing through his voice, he was also obviously starting to get irritated. Minhyuk returned to his notes with a smirk.

 

« How would I know that ?

- Cut the crap, Lee Minhyuk, I'm really not a patient person. You know what's going on. »

 

Of course he knew. After all, he was still her best friend.

 

« And you'd better tell me.

- Or what ? Don't you think there's a good reason why she's doing this ?

- I don't care.

- Well, I do. She made me promise. What makes you think I'll just change my mind ? »

 

Frustrated and uneasy, Yong Guk sighed while searching for his words, scratching his neck.

 

« We both know she has many secrets, and she's damn good at keeping them. But you know her, Minhyuk, probably better than anyone. You know she won't be okay until I see her.

- Wow, pretentious much ?

- And I won't either. You know it's true. And I know you won't do it for me, so do it for her. »

 

Although it was killing him, he had to admit Yong Guk had a point. Last time he had seen Chae In, she was a mess. She was pretending to be fine, as always, but he knew who was on her mind, and in her heart. He might not be happy about it, but maybe it was the best solution. Maybe it would help clear things out and help her to move on. And he had no right to deprive her of that.

 

« Alright. I'll tell you. »

 

Surprised, Yong Guk blinked then frowned in suspicion. It had been almost too easy.

 

« But let me make some things very clear first. I will always respect her decisions, but that doesn't mean I agree with her. I sure as hell don't trust you, Bang Yong Guk. And I'm warning you, if you ever hurt her or make her cry again, I swear I won't let it go. So you'd better keep that in mind and watch out what you're doing. »

 

Yong Guk gulped. He would have never guessed Lee Minhyuk had such a scary side. He snickered and nodded.

 

« You're a good friend, Lee Minhyuk. » 

 

 

*

 

 

Im Chae In was bored. And that was never good, because it would leave her time to think about everything she was trying so hard to get out of her head. Sure, she had the TV, books and music, but it was like every single thing reminded her of him.

She missed him, that was the terrible truth. She missed him, she missed Minhyuk, she missed school, she missed... dance. Every part of her body felt numb and itchy. She was dying to go back to a dancing room and finally break free from this hell of inactivity.

Unable to fall asleep, she sighed and sat up in her bed. As she was reaching for her MP3 player, she heard a soft knock before the door slid and revealed the object of all her thoughts.

Her heart skipped a beat at the view of his handsome face and her breath almost got caught in . He didn't say a word as he stared at her, simply closing the door and walking up to her bed. He pulled a chair and silently sat.

 

« I think I'm gonna have to speak again with Minhyuk about the concept of keeping a secret. » she eventually said.

 

Yong Guk softly laughed and shook his head.

 

« Don't be too mad at him. He really cares for you. »

 

She knew. That was exactly the reason why he had accepted to let Yong Guk see her, even if it had surely been hard for him. And once again, she was more than thankful he had disregarded her stubbornness and not listened to her.

 

« How did you get in here anyway ? It's almost past visiting hours.

- What can I say ? No one can resist my charm. »

 

That was definitely true, Chae In had learned that lesson herself. She started to snicker but it soon hurt and she stopped, a hand on her stomach. Yong Guk saw her wince and frowned.

 

« Are you... okay ? »

 

She let out a nervous laugh and looked away.

 

« What do you think ? »

 

That was a stupid question. He was stupid. But he didn't know what to say to her so he just looked at her. She seemed tired, sad and angry at the same time but she was still beautiful. He wanted to kiss her, to hug her and tell her that everything would be okay.

 

« I can't believe you did that for your brother. It's just... amazing. You gave up so many things to save him-

- Wouldn't you have done the same if you were me ? »

 

I'm not as strong as you, he almost said.

 

« How is he, by the way ?

- Fine. He's gonna be fine now. I didn't really get to see him but we both get out of the hospital in a couple of days. »

 

Yong Guk nodded with a smile. After a moment of hesitation, he leaned forward and tried to grab her hand but she put it out of his reach before looking away.

 

« Why are you here, Yong Guk ? »

 

It was his turn to let out a nervous laugh.

 

« What do you think ? »

 

She sighed as she turned to him. She didn't know what to say, she wasn't even sure she was ready to have that conversation. Uneasy, she looked down but luckily for her, he spoke first.

 

« Listen, I know it's a little... complicated between us right now.

- Right. And like I told you, I'm tired of fighting.

- Then don't. Let's just... Let's just start over. Like you said.

- It's not that simple. »

 

She knew what she had to say next. She knew it was the most reasonable thing to do. She knew she wouldn't be able to take another show. She was too vulnerable, and she had to protect herself. She just never would have thought it would be so painful.

 

« I feel like... no matter what we do, it always comes down to this. You apologize, I forgive you, then I get hurt. And it just starts over, again and again. »

 

Yong Guk leaned back and frowned as he started to understood where she was going. He slowly shook his head and stuttered.

 

« N-no, no, don't... Just- please, just listen to me-

- We tried, Yong Guk, she cut him. We tried but it just... It just didn't work. So maybe... Maybe we should just stop. »

 

He clenched his teeth and ruffled his hair in frustration, trying to remain calm.

 

« You're wrong. We didn't even try yet.

- Stop.

- Look, I know I made mistakes but-

- I said, stop it ! »

 

Her aggressive tone startled him and he stayed quiet, staring at her with lost eyes.

She bit her lip to hold back the tears before taking a deep breath and sighing.

 

« I'm tired of your excuses. Nothing ever changes with you, Bang Yong Guk. »

 

She didn't even leave him time to defend himself.

 

« In the end, I'm only disappointed. »

 

That was it. He knew it, he could feel it. It was over, and he had lost. He had lost her.

What wouldn't she hear him out ? There were so many things he wanted to say, so many things she didn't know, so why was she doing this to him ?

 

« Chae In-ah, please, don't. Please, just listen to me-

- I'm sorry, Yong Guk, I just... I can't do this right now. »

 

You don't deserve her, Minhyuk's voice echoed in his head.

There was a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

« What ? No, wait-

- Get out. Please. »

 

He had never felt so angry and sad. Like he could just break something, or literally tear his hair out, or scream his heart out.

« Maybe I don't. »

He grabbed her hand in a last attempt to get her to listen to reason but she violently pushed it back.

 

« Yah, Im Chae In !

- Just go. Leave now, I beg you... »

 

She looked away but he saw the tears filling her eyes. She slipped back into her bead and turned her back on him, making it clear their conversation was over. It was pointless to keep arguing. She had won by KO.

Powerless, Yong Guk stared at her one last time before leaving the room.

« But I won't stop until I prove you wrong. »

 

 

 

It was true you made my life more difficult...

But it was definitely worth it. (Her)

 

 

 

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» Ȧut hør’s nøte.

Dear readers,

I can't apologize enough for how late this chapter is !

I had other things to do and I guess I was also waiting for the right moment and the right inspiration.

I hope you'll forgive me and keep supporting this story - by commenting for example ;)

I promise I'll finish this story, even if it takes time, and you won't be disappointed !

I wish you all a wonderful year 2015~ ♥

 

 

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