[35 - SUNDAY]

It was a Sunday like every Sunday as well. SiWon stood up and left the house for church service.

It was almost midday when he was on his way back home again. He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed HeeChul's number.

"Yes?" HeeChul's voice answered and SiWon had to smile for HeeChul sounding kind of sleepy even at this hour.

"HeeChul, it's me. Where are you? Are you in the hospital with Chin-Sun? Can I come and visit you?" SiWon asked immediately and HeeChul needed a few seconds before he eventually answered. "Hm...yeah...," he said, confused why SiWon had asked.

SiWon smiled. "Thanks, so you're in your room there? I'll come now then. I've to talk to you," he announced and hung up.

SiWon smiled happily when he made his way to the hospital. LeeTeuk was still right. He didn't want to lose HeeChul and for him, he would fight.

---

SiWon knocked on the door carefully before he entered. HeeChul was sitting on his own bed for he was allowed to stay with his daughter because she was still so young, and the little girl was sitting in his lap. HeeChul was showing her a book with animal pictures. It made SiWon smile to see them so close and happy like that even life clearly wasn't being grateful to them at all.

"Hey HeeChul. Hello, Chin-Sun. How are you?" SiWon asked them and approached the bed.

"Appa, your husband is there," the little girl stated. SiWon had to laugh and this time even HeeChul chuckled. They were just happy and relieved that Chin-Sun didn't seem to be much hurt anymore. The night and the treatment from the doctors had been helping her a lot as it seemed.

"Yes," HeeChul answered and smiled at SiWon and then at his daughter.

SiWon returned the smile.

"We're fine, SiWon, thanks. She's much better today, right, my princesS?" HeeChul asked his daughter who nodded but then yawned. She cuddled up at his Appa and SiWon smiled at seeing her falling asleep that fast. Probably she was still tired of the tests and whatever the doctors did to her.

HeeChul stood up carefully and placed her on her own bed. He kissed her forhead and whispered a "Sleep tight," before he turned to SiWon and pointed at the door.

SiWon understood and they both left the room silently, letting Chin-Sun sleep.

"So?" HeeChul started and SiWon looked at him in confusion because HeeChul cleary expected him to say something now.

"You wanted to talk to me?" HeeChul eventually asked when he realized that SiWon wasn't going to do so.

"Oh,...ah, yes, of course," SiWon said and smiled. "Good news! Although I don't know if it's still important. Probably it's already too late for it anyway," he stated uncertainly but HeeChul smiled back slightly. "What do you have to tell me? I'm listening," HeeChul told him when they went outside to the park of the hospital.

Only when they were far enough away from all the other people, so no one was able to listen to their conversation, SiWon eventually told HeeChul with a shy smile. "My mother accepts me being gay." SiWon didn't want to specify it on only with HeeChul because he still wasn't quiet hopeful to get him back just like that.

"Oh...uhm, that's great," HeeChul said with hesitation, making SiWon unsure of whether HeeChul really was happy for him or not.

"HeeChul?" SiWon asked silently and lifted HeeChul's chin up. "Are you alright?"

HeeChul smiled. "Yes...I just thought...I just want you to be happy. Have you already...found...someone new?" he stuttered and SiWon shook his head. "Thanks, but I haven't."

"Oh," was the only thing, HeeChul was able to say right now and so SiWon continued. "To be honest, I'm not trying to find someone new. I already have a person I love and adore and that person...is standing here in front of me right now," SiWon finally confessed.

HeeChul blushed but didn't reply at first. Only after a few minutes, he opened his mouth. "SiWon, please. I told you it's impossible. I can't give you another chance," he stated. SiWon only nodded slowly. He had known it but still it hurt so much. He knew how hard it was for HeeChul to trust someone and if that trust was broken, it was almost impossible to rebuild it.

"I'm sorry, SiWon, but I just can't...," HeeChul murmured and looked down to the ground. "I'm going back now. I don't want to leave Chin-Sun for too long," he said and SiWon nodded.

"Yes. Are you coming to school on Monday?" he asked but already knew he would say no.

"I stay with Chin-Sun in the hospital as long as she'll be here. Only when she'll be fine again, I'll come back. Maybe she'll be discharged tomorrow," HeeChul told SiWon with a smile. "Bye, SiWon," he said and walked away before SiWon could say anything.

SiWon sighed silently and left the hospital to go back home.

---[36 - MONDAY]

SiWon reached the school but didn't felt even a little bit nervous. He knew HeeChul wouldn't be there and he already missed him so much.

As always he greeted his friends with a hug and everyone was laughing and talking happily with each other. SiWon noticed RyeoWook looking at him in concern but SiWon just shrugged and smiled at him.

That continued in the lesson as well and the teacher was clearly not pleased about it. But lucky for the students, he just threatened that how they were working in the lesson, they won't be happy about their grades at the end of the school year.

No one seemed to care though because it was still way too loud in class and SiWon was really not in the mood to pay attention to that boring lesson anyway, so he kept talking with KyuHyun about some random things.

---

"Finally lunch break!" DongHae exclaimed relieved and they gathered around their usual table.

"Yes, finally," SiWon agreed with him and DongHae nodded thankfully.

"So, SiWonnie?" YeSung looked at SiWon who was slightly confused about what he wanted from him.

"Hm, yes?" SiWon asked when he returned the gaze and smiled.

"Your slu-...boy...friend isn't there in school. Where is he?" DongHae asked to help SiWon.

SiWon blushed slightly. He still wasn't totally happy with how they all called HeeChul but at least his friends didn't call him or anymore. "He's in the hospital due to his daughter. She had an accident," SiWon explained because there was no reason to lie now.

LeeTeuk and SungMin seemed to be the ones who showed real concern. The rest was not so worried at all.

"Why? What had happened? Is it bad?" SungMin asked and SiWon saw KyuHyun next to the other one roll his eyes. SiWon chuckled and decided to answer shortly. "An accident with a biker. She's better now. At least she was yesterday. I think she'll be discharged today," SiWon told them and SungMin and LeeTeuk nodded relieved.

"By the way, What is with you and him now?" LeeTeuk wanted to know.

SiWon looked at him but lost his thoughts due to the other's face and skin. The scratches were barely visible by now and it made him happy.

Suddenly SiWon found back and shook his head to organize his thoughts once again and answer proparly.

"What was with your mother? Did anything bad happen?" RyeoWook asked before and now SiWon finally answered to both his friends. "She was a little bit mad, but I think she accepts me now. She's okay with me being with HeeChul. She told me on Saturday."

LeeTeuk, SungMin, RyeoWook and even KyuHyun were smiling happily.

"But...and I guess that's the bigger problem, HeeChul won't take me back anymore," SiWon stated and RyeoWook immediately asked why.

"He's a person who has experienced some bad things in his life. He won't trust people easily and if the trust is destroyed, there won't be a chance to rebuild it," SiWon explained and he couldn't hide his sadness. "It was a miracle that he gave me a second chance already, but a third? No way."

"Damn, that's stupid. Finally you are allowed to be with him and then this?" KyuHyun asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

SiWon shrugged and nodded. "I can't change it. It's my own fault. I'm just happy to be at least friends with him," he stated and forced a small smile. "But I won't neglect you, don't worry," he told them with honesty in his eyes.

Eventually, DongHae spoke up as well and what he said was really surprising for SiWon and probably not only for him. "That can't be true! , SiWon. We'll help you. Even if I have to go and talk to...him, I promise to help you get together again. He loves you, too, right? Then I promise to make sure that he'll take you back again," he announced.

SiWon stared at him with big eyes. He didn't quiet know what he should think about it.

YeSung glared at him with doubt. "Hae, are you sure? First, I hope you won't beat him up again because I don't think SiWon will be happy with that and second, how will you convince HeeChul to take SiWon back?"

DongHae rolled his eyes. "I won't beat him up again. Don't worry. , that was just this one time and it wasn't supposed to end up like that anyway. And how I'll convince him...I don't know yet but I'll think of a solution. As you said before, we should make sure that everyone of us is happy and we should support each other. I want SiWon to be happy and I'll support him," he declared and SiWon smiled. "Thanks," he murmured.

---

After school when SiWon arrived at home, his mother came up to him to greet him. He sat down on the table with his mother and father for dinner.

"Your grandfather has to stay longer than they said before. We'll visit him after dinner," his mother announced and SiWon nodded. "Yes, but why does he have to stay longer? Is it bad?" he asked in concern.

"No, hopefully not. We'll see when we're there. We don't know more either," SiWon's father told him.

"Okay, Appa," SiWon said. His heart was beating faster. He really was worried because his grandfather was already older and not so healthy anymore.

"And I'll leave for work tomorrow, SiWon. I'll be gone for another week at least. I'll have to go abroad," SiWon's father announced and SiWon looked at him while he nodded. "Yeah, okay, Appa. We'll be fine, right, Umma?"

She smiled and nodded as well. "Yes, you don't have to worry," she supported her son and now it was the father who nodded.

---

SiWon was sitting in his own room. He knew, his parents wanted to visit his grandfather but SiWon wanted to call HeeChul first. He was worried for him and his daughter as well after all.

"Hello?" the familiar voice of HeeChul answered and SiWon couldn't help but smile. "Hi. How are you and Chin-Sun? Are you two still in the hospital?" he asked immediately because he had not much time until they would leave.

"Yes. Everything's fine," HeeChul said but his voice sounded so unhappy.

"Is there something wrong? You sound so sad," SiWon told him.

"No, nothing," HeeChul answered but there was still this depressed tone SiWon realized.

"Is there really nothing wrong? C'mon, HeeChul. You can tell me. You can trust me. Please tell me," SiWon tried once more. He heard HeeChul sigh sadly. "I'm fine, but I don't quiet now about Chin-Sun. She's with a doctor right now. Last night, she suddenly got very sick. I don't know what's wrong with her," he quietly said.

"What? Where are you right now then? Should I come to you? I'll visit my grandfather now and after that, I'm sure I can come to you, hm?" SiWon suggested while he heard his mother call him.

"I'm in the park right now. If you want to come... I don't mind at all. You can, you can not. I don't care," he stated and SiWon could even feel the sadness through the phone.

"I must hang up now. I'll call you later, HeeChul," SiWon told him before he did so.

SiWon left the house with his parents to visit his grandfather. When they knocked at his door and entered the room, they saw him sleeping. He was attached to some machines, SiWon didn't know for what they were there.

"Grandfather," SiWon murmured and hurried to his side. He took his hand and looked in the pale, old face of the man. "Get well soon. God bless you and protect you. Please be healthy once again," SiWon whispered and kissed his cheek.

His grandfather didn't look sick at all. He just looked as if he was only sleeping and SiWon was relieved to still feel his pulse.

"SiWon, because he's sleeping right now, we should leave. We could go down to the cafeteria first and come back later, okay?" SiWon's father suggested and SiWon who was looking over his shoulder to his parents, agreed eventually.

He let go of his grandfather's hand and he and his parents went out.

"Umma?" SiWon asked quietly and looked up to her. "You know...uhm, this...HeeChul, he's here as well, you know, right?" SiWon began unsure of how his parents would react to the name but they stayed calm and waited for him to continue. "Can I visit him? His daughter isn't well. She got sick last night and HeeChul's very worried for her," SiWon explained and hoped to get a yes.

"SiWon, I told you we want you to be happy. We allow you to go, but come back soon, okay? Remember, your family should be much more important than him for you, alright?" his mother asked and SiWon nodded relieved even though he didn't thought like that as well.

He turned around and left in the other direction, hoping to find HeeChul still in the park. He didn't want to call him again.

SiWon was lucky to be right and find HeeChul standing alone in the park, looking down at the flowers with his back towards SiWon.

SiWon's smile faded. He was so worried. He didn't want HeeChul to suffer anymore. He wanted to hug him but again, there was this fear of rejection. Should he risk it and hug him? He swallowed and approached him. HeeChul didn't notice him or heard his footsteps, so SiWon assumed he was really deep in his own thoughts and worries, so SiWon inhaled deeply before he took the last step towards him and hugged him from behind. He pressed HeeChul's body back at him, so that they were connected and he could feel HeeChul shiver.

HeeChul didn't expect it, but because he couldn't jump or at least turn around, he just looked over his shoulder with his head to notice SiWon holding him tightly.

HeeChul struggled to get free. SiWon thought about letting go of him so he won't make him angry or piss him off or anything but then he decided otherwise and just tightened his grip.

HeeChul finally gave up and surrendered in SiWon's arms. SiWon smiled relieved that he wouldn't have to let the other go.

HeeChul closed his eyes and leaned back. He laid his arms over SiWon's hands that were around his waist and sighed. "SiWonnie...," he murmured.

"What had happened, Chullie? What's wrong with Chin-Sun?" SiWon asked.

"I don't know. SiWon, I just don't know anymore. I don't know anything. I've to go to work in two hours. How am I supposed to go there? I don't want to leave my daugher here all alone. But I can't skip work. I can't apologize and tell them my daughter is in the hospital. I already skipped this weekend because of that reason and my boss told me he'd dismiss me the next time that happens. If I leave her now for work, I can't come back because I've to work until at least 11 pm and then it'll be too late," HeeChul explained silently and sighed once again in defeat. " my life. Damn. SiWon, do you know what?" HeeChul asked without letting SiWon speak before and now SiWon just shrugged. He knew there wouldn't be time to answer proparly before HeeChul would talk anyway.

"I hate you. You changed me so much. You changed everything. I'm so different now. I never have cursed so much. I never have talked about what is on my mind just like that. I was happy with me, myself and my own world, damn it! I hate you! I ing hate you for that!" HeeChul exclaimed and SiWon was really surprised about what he said. He let go of HeeChul to look at him because he wasn't sure if HeeChul was serious with hating him. HeeChul turned around to look at him.

SiWon's fear encreased. HeeChul seemed to be serious about hating him.

"I-I'm sorry," SiWon stuttered in hope to get a positive reaction from that but HeeChul was still angry.

"I-I'll go then," SiWon stated and turned around to leave. His heart was beating so fast. HeeChul hated him now? So they couldn't even be friends anymore?

"SiWon?" HeeChul suddenly called and SiWon felt hope raise inside of him. He wanted to turn around but couldn't due to arms that were already tight around his waist. HeeChul pressed his face against SiWon's back from behind. "You made me change, but I'm actually not sure if it's bad or good. Do you know what you can do to me? SiWonnie, you're the only one that's so special to me apart from my Chin-Sunnie baby. You know what? I can't deny it or pretend I wouldn't but I still like you really much. So your parents are serious with you and me? They really would allow us to be together?" HeeChul asked and SiWon nodded. "Yes."

"Then can we try once again? I don't know how many chances we will need but at least this I'll give us. Let's try again. Let's be together again," HeeChul murmured against SiWon's skin but SiWon's heart beat so much faster because he still managed to understand every word. He put his arms around to hold onto HeeChul as well.

"Yes," he breathed out, trying to stay calm. HeeChul smiled and his hands that were around SiWon's waist went up to hold him around his arms and chest.

"I can feel your heartbeat, SiWonnie," HeeChul stated randomly after some time. But SiWon wasn't that surprised after all because he knew his heart was racing way too fast to not notice and he couldn't bring it to calm down.

SiWon could feel HeeChul's smile against his neck and he was just happy. But then he remembered what HeeChul had told him a few minutes ago. "Maybe I could stay with Chin-Sun if you want. I'm sure my parents will allow it because they love her," SiWon announced and HeeChul seemed to think about it. SiWon could understand HeeChul didn't like it if he himself wasn't there as well but SiWon didn't know any other way to help him.

HeeChul let go of SiWon who immediately turned around to face HeeChul. He nodded slowly.

"We can ask them now. They're here to visit my grandfather," SiWon said and HeeChul hesitated before he nodded once more.

So SiWon went with HeeChul who was half a metre behind him, to the cafeteria were his parents were supposed to be.

SiWon looked around and finally saw them sitting and talking to each other.

"Umma, Appa!" SiWon called them and walked towards them. HeeChul didn't want to go to them at all but he had no choice.

"You already know, HeeChul's daughter is here as well due to an accident and so HeeChul is staying here for that time, too. But he has to go to work and he can't skip it. He has to work until late at night, so can I stay here today with his daughter, please? She needs someone she knows to take care of her. Please," SiWon begged and prayed for them to say yes. HeeChul just nodded without saying anything at all.

"When do you have to be there at work, HeeChul?" SiWon's mother asked with a stern voice causing HeeChul to feel uncomfortable. Nonethless he answered. "In one and a half hour."

"Fine, SiWon. We allow you to stay but if you lie to us once more, we won't go that easy on you like this, understood?" SiWon's mother said and SiWon immediately nodded. Even though it sounded rude it was normal. SiWon knew she was happy for him and she was just worried for him to get hurt or neglect his family or God. But, and SiWon was sure with this, that would never happen.

"And you have to visit your grandfather now. Hurry up, so you can go to his child afterwards," SiWon's father stated and SiWon smiled grateful for his parents' love and help. "Thank you so much, Umma and Appa. I love you," he exclaimed and hugged them before he went away with HeeChul.

HeeChul was smiling with relief as well, SiWon could tell and it made him happier. "So will I stay for the whole night then?" SiWon asked him smiling even more. HeeChul shrugged. "I don't know but I try to come after work. I don't know if I can though or if it's too late by then."

"Can you call me if you won't come?" SiWon asked.

"Yes and by the way, thanks. I've to go a little bit earlier because I've to go to my uncle first. Is that okay for you, SiWon?" he asked and SiWon nodded.

"Thanks then. I'll go now," HeeChul announced and turned around to go. SiWon was a little bit disappointed that HeeChul didn't kiss or even hug him before he left but he knew he shouldn't force HeeChul to something he didn't want yet. SiWon looked after him. HeeChul didn't seem happy at all. Was there something else, SiWon wonderd with worry but how could he know? He could only wait for HeeChul to tell him if he wanted to and not force him to anything.

SiWon sighed silently, hoping HeeChul will be alright and he went to his grandfather's room.

SiWon knocked at the door and entered the room. "Grandpa?" he asked and approached the bed.

"SiWon?" A small, weak voice asked.

SiWon was relieved that his grandfather was up and he smiled at him. "How are you? Are you feeling better? What had even happened?"

His grandfather sighed. "SiWon, I'm already old. It's difficult to stay healthy in my age. I think I'll die soon, SiWon. But that won't matter. I'm too old to live proparly anymore," he told him with a smile. It showed no regret. It was a satisfied smile but SiWon could only glare at him without having anything to say. He was too shocked. His grandfather wanted to die?

"I'm happy with my life, SiWon. I hope you'll be happy as well. Listen to your heart and look on your way. Give your helping hand to those who need your help," SiWon's grandfather said to SiWon. "W-what? Grandfather, you-you wo-won't die. You won't. You-you'll b-be healthy soon," SiWon stuttered. is heart was beating so fast. He was scared. He didn't want to lose his grandfather. He had been always so happy. He had always told him about how great life was and that he wanted to live as long as possible and he hoped that God would let him. But now he was telling SiWon that God would take his life soon? SiWon was more than shocked and speechless.

"Please, can you sent your parents to me, SiWon? Have a good day. God bless you," his grandfather said and SiWon turned around. He didn't feel anything other than scared and numb. He couldn't even process what had happened. He just went to find his parents, sent them to his grandfather and then headed towards HeeChul's daughter.

By now, she was back alone in her room and sleeping. She looked so peaceful and much better. She didn't appear that sick at all anymore and SiWon was relieved about that.

"Chin-Sunnie, get well soon. Your Appa is very worried about you," SiWon whispered and a lock out of her forehead gently, carefully not to wake her up.

SiWon sat down next to her and sighed. Hopefully, HeeChul would come back soon. Was he even able to come back to the hospital after his work, SiWon wondered. Soon SiWon was with his head resting on his arms, that were on the mattrass, falling asleeps.

TBC