By the time I got to the hospital, Grandpa was already gone.

               It’s now a very sunny Saturday morning, and through the windows I can see the pink cherry blossoms blooming from an area nearby.

               Contrary to the shiny outdoors, the situation near me is far from bright. I’m sitting in the waiting room of the mourning hall inside the hospital with a blank mind, and Mom comes closer with something in her hands.

               “Go change, it’s starting soon.”

               She looks down to avoid my eyes and to hide her red ones. She puts the black clothes on my lap and leaves to do more preparation for the funeral.

               I walk soullessly to the toilet, and pass by the hall. They just put Grandpa’s portrait in the middle of the flowers. I don’t know when it was taken, but it doesn’t look that long ago. He’s smiling there. His usual warm, friendly smile, but one that I often misunderstood as not genuine.

               I can’t believe I used to have that kind of thought towards my own grandfather.

               Tears shimmer in my eyes, and I grit my teeth. Not now. I spent the remainder of last night crying, I should help around for now.

               The night passed by in a flash. I left Woong and his friends, caught a taxi, but arrived too late. The family went straight to prepare the funeral, and nobody barely slept. And now we have to face a lot of people out there.

               Relatives and family friends come and go, and after a couple of hours the hall gets gradually quieter. We’re all sitting on the floor when a family of three comes inside, and as they get closer my jaw tightens. My parents and Grandma seem to recognize them as well. Kim Jongin is coming with his parents.

               After bowing to the deceased, they face our family and I look away somewhere. “We’re Kim Deokhwan’s family.”

               Grandma holds the older man’s hand, and nods. “Long time no see.”

               I don’t really want Jongin to see me right now. I’m in funeral clothing, no makeup, and having a swollen face. This is even worse than that time when I was sick. It would be rude to just leave the room, so I just let my head down the entire time.

               Not long after Jongin’s family left for the dining hall, I went to the toilet to have some time for myself. I nearly fell asleep inside the stall. When I come out, someone just leaves the male one, and it’s Jongin. I press my lips together, and accept my fate. We move a bit to an empty hallway nearby, and stand in front of each other.

               “Thanks for coming. Did you eat?”

               “I did.” Jongin nods. He’s wearing a simple black blazer and white shirt underneath. “How about you?”

               “Huh?” I wasn’t concentrating, and didn’t catch Jongin’s latter words.

               “Have you eaten?”

               “Oh - I - not yet. But I’m going to.” I shake my head quickly a few times, trying to knock some sense into myself. “Sorry. I’m out of it.” I rub my forehead as I let out a bitter laugh.

               “I’m sorry for your loss.”

               I look down to the floor, and suddenly my vision is blurring. With Jongin here, I think he’s the one who relates most of what I feel right now.

               “I met him a few times when I was a child. I knew him as ‘grandfather’s friend’. Once he gave me a candy, so he had a nice impression. And he knew my parents well, too. When you two visited the cemetery, they looked disappointed to know that he left earlier.”

               I bob my head a few times, still not looking up.

               “He loved looking at the flowers while visiting my grandfather’s place. He must have loved them.”

               “He did adore flowers.” I say slowly, and look out through the windows. “And he left when the flowers were blooming the prettiest.”

               The spring view outside reminds me of Grandpa again, and soon tears roll down my face. I turn my face away, avoiding Jongin’s sight.

               My surroundings went dark, and it took me two seconds to realize Jongin pulled me into his arms. Not too loose, not too tight. I was stiff at first, but I calmed my body and put my head on his shoulders.

               “He was a good person, Dana.”

               He’s patting my back, and for the first time since I arrived in this hospital I feel secure.

               He let me cry like that for a while, then we relocated to the chairs near the toilet. Jongin sits facing me, and I’m pressing my fingers on my lap.

               “Yesterday my mother told me to visit… But I didn’t feel like it, thinking he was getting better and going to discharge soon anyway. So I said I’d just visit the next morning.”

               Jongin intently listens, and softly wipes my tears with his hand.

               “Do you want something to drink?” he asks.

               “No, it’s okay. Aren’t your parents waiting?”

               “They left earlier. I’m going in a different direction anyway.”

               “Hyein unni?”

               “She’s currently out of the city. But she’s heard, and relayed her condolences. She wanted your number so she could call later. Do you mind?”

               “Not at all. Give me hers as well.”

               “Sure.”

               “Well, I should go back.” I breathe out. “See you later, I guess. Thanks.”

               Jongin nods, and we stand up. “I’m leaving.”

               I try to smile. He touches my shoulder once, turns around, and leaves. My heart feels more at ease.

*

               More than a week later, I’m at school, and a class is just finished. Woong initially messaged me to go eat lunch together, but I didn't get the chance to answer during the lecture then he sent another message.

Dana, I’m sorry! I have to visit a sick aunt in Incheon with my mother. Let’s meet up next time!

               I huff, and look around. There isn’t anyone I know from the previous class, I think I have to go eat alone. I lazily head to the cafeteria when I see Jongin heading to the same place from the opposite direction, by himself. Our eyes meet, and I quickly look away. The last time we met was at my grandfather’s funeral, and somehow I feel embarrassed to remember that time.

               I’m about to enter when someone comes out with a frown on his face. It’s Professor Han. His eyes widened to see me. “Ah, Joo Dana!”

               I force myself to smile. “Hello, Sir.”

               “Oh, and isn’t this Kim Jongin?”

               Jongin is approaching, and he also gives Prof. Han a rigid smile. “Ah, my two students from last winter’s night class! Are you going to eat? I entered, and the menus are boring. How about eating outside? I’ll buy!”

               Jongin and I look at each other, and the next thing we know we’re inside Prof. Han’s car, heading to ‘someplace I always pass by when I go to work but haven’t had the chance to visit’. The car still smells the same - cheap perfume and cigarette smoke.

               “That night still feels vivid to me, aigoo.” Prof. Han clicks his tongue. “I was driving like a madman to the hospital. Do you remember, Kim Jongin?”

               “Of course.” Jongin replies slowly next to the driver’s seat.

               It takes fifteen minutes to go to the restaurant, and he mostly talks about the night when I got slashed by the mugger. Not the best topic, but that’s probably the most interesting thing that he can talk about between us three.

               We arrive, and I quietly admire the vibes. The building looks like it’s made entirely from bricks, and it’s surrounded by greenery that shades the whole area. It’s past lunchtime so there aren’t that many people, and we scored a nice table next to a glass wall that displays the plants outside.

               After ordering, Prof. Han looks at his phone and suddenly gasps loudly.

               “Oh my, what the - kids, I need to go.” Professor Han clears up his stuff from the table and prepares to leave.

               “Sorry?” I warily look at him.

               “An important director of the school foundation is at the campus, I need to meet him - I’m eyeing a position. Listen, I’ll pay for the meal, you two can just eat my order. Sorry I can’t bring you back. I’m going!”

               With that, he dashes away from the table and after stopping hurriedly at the cashier, he’s gone. Jongin and I watched the whole occurrence silently and stayed still in our seats. “So…?” Jongin raises his eyebrows.

               I shrug. “He’s paid for the food, might as well as reap the benefit.”

               Jongin chuckles, and touches his napkin. “So fascinating, that man.”

               “So, what have you been up to?”

               The food comes and Jongin and I end up devouring everything while talking about random topics. We’re about to finish, and Jongin is going to the bathroom.

               While waiting for him I vacantly look at the trees outside, and the pathway in the middle. A couple is coming from the main street, and when they get closer I realize that I find the man familiar. It’s Woong, walking side by side with a girl.