The weather is getting warmer, and I’m glad to have a break before the next school year. I’ve decided to volunteer at an orphanage in the countryside, supported by a social group I found online, for two nights. I was supposed to come with two friends but both of them had something come up.

               The orphanage is a tranquil, two-story white building with a brown roof that almost seems like it doesn’t belong in this country. It’s surrounded by green hills and pine trees,  and surrounding the house is a vast yard covered with grass, no gate in sight. When I arrive there, a few children are running around the garden and the other volunteers are surrounding a registration table, all looking excited.

               I inhale as spring air fills my head, and breathe out with my heart feeling happily nervous. I might be alone, but I can just make new friends here.

               My phone beeps, and I read the message. My lips curl to see the text.

Have fun there! Really wanted to go but I got prior appointments :(

Let’s meet when you get back :)

               It’s from Woong, a senior I’ve currently got a crush on. We started texting in January when I helped him with his returning student admissions after the military. I replied cheerfully, and decide to take a photo to send him before going to the registration table.

               I take a photo of a big pine tree nearby, and someone is standing near it. When I zoomed in to clear the view, I wish my eyes were deceiving me.

               The person was looking at his phone, and when he looked up he spotted me. He stands still, probably trying to make sure as well.

               He walks towards me while I fail to move. “Joo Dana?”

               I grit my teeth. Seriously? Kim Jongin is here? “Hi.” I look down to the ground.

               “Have you registered?”

               “Not yet.”

               We end up walking together to the table, and Jongin goes first. “I’m Kim Jongin.” he says to the staff.

               The staff nods, and marks the paper with a checklist. She looks at me, then back at the paper. “Is this your partner, Sir? Miss Hyun -”

               “No.” Jongin cuts her immediately. “She’s not. A different group from me.”

               “Oh.” the staff blinks. “Your name, Miss?”

               “Joo Dana.” I say, glancing at Jongin. “I’m supposed to come here with Baek Siyeon and Han Hamin, but both cannot come.”

               “Noted.” the staff finishes our registration and points to the main entrance of the building to get our next instruction. Jongin nonchalantly walks in front of me, and I try to make my sigh inaudible. Focus, I came here to do everything but interact with him.

               There are more or less twenty other volunteers from various ages, and I introduce myself to a few of them in an effort to avoid Kim Jongin. Our first activity is laundry, and we’re brought to the backyard where there are gigantic tubs waiting. When we’re organizing the fabrics and filling the tubs with water, I excuse myself to go to the toilet.

               I come back from the toilet, and the laundry session has begun already. My shoulders drop to see the people I befriended before have stepped into the tubs, and I spot someone who’s still alone but I’d rather not be with him.

               “It’s two persons per tub, Miss. You can partner up with Mr. Kim there!” the staff points to a spot near the window, and I try hard to control my face. Jongin. Again.

               I reluctantly step into the large tub with my head down, looking at the white bubbles and Jongin’s legs. I begin stepping onto the clothes, but it feels like all my energy is gone. The water is warm and feels good on my skin though.

               “Hi.” Jongin shortly says, his legs moving up and down in a stable rhythm. I exhale and look up but the sunray from the sky pierces right to my sight, making his face unseen.

               “Ouch.” I say as I look at the laundry again. Jongin then moves a bit to his side, blocking the sun.

               “Thank you.” I say, and raise my head again. We’re looking at each other now, and upon realizing how close we are I turn my head to see the others. “How did you get to join?”

               “I found this volunteering group on social media.”

               I raise my eyebrows. What are the odds? “Me too. I was supposed to come with two friends though.”

               “I’m not supposed to be alone as well.” Jongin says.

               I remember how the staff mistook me for his plus one. “Were you supposed to come with your girlfriend?”

               Jongin is silent for two seconds. “Yes.”

               "Ah.” so that’s true. “Is it the one who came when you were sick that time?”

               He takes a pause again. “You met her?”

               I stop stepping. “Just - when I was about to leave - she entered.”

               He stares at me, then blinks without a word. “Um… Did something happen?” I ask slowly.

               “No.” he instantly answers. That makes me more suspicious.

               In the middle of my thoughts, I suddenly lose my balance while stepping and almost fall backwards. Jongin catches my waist, and his other hand slaps the wall next to us for support, making everyone look at us because of the sound.

               “Oh my.” someone gasps, and the others start murmuring. I’m grabbing Jongin’s front shirt, any harder and the buttons will pop off. He pulls me back again, and I control my breath. “T-thank you.”

               “Careful.” he lets go of me, and everyone goes back to their business. My heart is still drumming though.

*

               The next thing in our schedule is cleaning and cooking lunch, it’s separated by floors and menus so I don’t bump into Jongin often.

               The laundry, cleaning and cooking didn’t really involve the children, and now it’s playtime in the common room. I’m really hitting it off with two adorable kids named Sian and Chaekyung, and they’re basically sticking to me the whole time.

               Chaekyung spots someone near us, and approaches him. Kim Jongin just came back from somewhere, and he welcomes her with a smile. That’s probably the first time I see him smile. Oh, there’s that time when he was half-conscious after he drank the medicine in his apartment. I blink to shoo away the memory, and continue playing with Sian.

               Sian is called by his friends at the other side of the room, and he bolts away in a second. I laugh and shake my head as I tidy up the books and toys, and see the groups near me.

               Jongin is playing with Chaekyung who’s showing him her collection of dolls. 

               “Can you braid its hair?” Chaekyung is heard asking in the most adorable voice.

               “Sorry?” Jongin sounds flustered. “Ah… I can’t.”

               I turn around and approach them. “I can.”

               “Dana unni, help me.” Chaekyung lifts the doll with her little hands. I sit next to Jongin, and get to work. He just remains there silently, watching me and Chaekyung. Chaekyung is leaning to my side as I do the magic to the doll, while also teaching her.

               “And we’re done! Can you do it to the other doll?” I pick up one, and Chaekyung attempts the braiding now. Still clumsy, but for a six-year-old she’s learning fast.

               “Unni smiles a lot. You’re kind.” Chaekyung suddenly says.

               “Aw.” I pat her head softly. “Well, we smile at our friends, right?”

               “Then is he not your friend?” Chaekyung points at Jongin. My lips part, and I glance at Jongin once. He meets my eyes for a second, then looks away.

               “What - what do you mean?”

               “You don’t smile at or talk to that oppa. Do you hate him?”

               I’m trying to say something, but I was too startled. “I - no! We’re friends! We even go to the same school.” I awkwardly laugh. Chaekyung looks unsatisfied, but she goes back to her dolls. Later she joins a group of kids nearby, and leaves us. I go back to tidying up, and Jongin starts to help me.

               “You’re good with kids.” Jongin comments.

               “You’re not bad either.” I shrug, then suddenly remember Hyein. “Well, you should be, you’re going to be an uncle soon.”

               I close my lips after I said that. Shouldn’t get too deep. Jongin doesn’t say anything, and we continue putting stuff back to the shelves.

               It’s time to prepare dinner, and we’re going with our own groups again. After meal time and cleaning, the kids start to prepare for bed and the volunteers are resting in the common room with coffee and tea. I’m sharing a pleasant talk with a couple in their 40’s whose nephew is admitted to my school this year, and they’re asking me about the campus’ surroundings.

               “Hello, this chair’s empty!” Mr. Kim, the husband, waves to someone over my shoulder. I turn my head to see, and my heart depletes to see Jongin wandering the room with a mug on his hand. He glances at me once, and comes to our corner to sit next to me.

               They ask Jongin about himself, and he mentioned his school. The couple points out that we go to the same university, and I swallow. “Oh, do you guys know each other?”

               Jongin and I both got quiet. “We met a few times at school.” Jongin is the one who finally answers.

               The couple continues their questions about our school, and now receives answers from a different source. Jongin is mentioning the possible living places for new students, and giving examples from his own apartment.

               “Yes, it’s quite small but very adequate for a student. It all has a living room, kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom mostly inside the bedroom itself.”

               “But yours is outside, right? I didn’t see one in your bedroom that time.” I say without much thought.

               I realize what I said, and I bite my tongue. Jongin is looking at me emptily, and Mr. and Mrs. Kim exchanged a both confused and surprised look.