I get to my senses  and let go of his sleeve. Jongin gets up, stands facing me and soon I can feel the palm of his hand pressing against my forehead. My eyes widen, and I grab his wrist.

               “What are you doing?”

               Jongin is looking down to see me with a flat face, and he shakes off my grip carefully.

               “Checking. Your temp is a bit high.”

               “I’m feeling better.” I sit up and the hot bottle rolls down from my abdomen. I eye the small clock on his bedside table, and I was asleep for more than an hour. The dream is still clouding my head. I pull the blanket, intending to get out of it, but I just can’t help savoring the fragrant fabric once again. “I don’t mean to be a ert but this blanket just smells so good.”

               Jongin scoffs, and shakes his head. “So what were you dreaming about?”

               I recall the dream, and it makes me want to roll into the blanket again. The more awake I feel, the more ridiculous I think it was. I rub my eyes and exhale. "...something weird. Anyway, it’s time for me to leave.”

               I plan to get down from the bed and leave the room as fast as possible, but when I stand up - it's a waterfall down there. I clench my jaw and start moving despite how weighty my body feels right now.

               “Eat before you go.” Jongin says as he catches up behind me.

               “Thanks, but no.” I’m looking for my bag, and find two sets of utensils on the tiny dining table in the middle of the living room and kitchen. Oh my, he even prepared those?

               “I heard your stomach growling in your sleep.” Jongin heads to the kitchen set where I see a bag of food. 

               My face burns. “Lies.”

               “We both haven’t had lunch, it’s only normal.”

               “Why didn’t you just eat first?”

               Jongin doesn’t respond. “I’m going to the bathroom for a bit.” he says after a few seconds. I sigh quietly, and see my bag placed nicely on the sofa. He’s gone all the way, I feel kind of bad to leave now. Honestly, I’m hungry and the aroma is hard to ignore. I think he bought some chicken.

               I’m sitting on the chair as I wait for Jongin when I hear the password being punched in from the outside and the sound of confirmation. The door is open, and a woman’s ringing voice fills the room.

               “Jongin, are you back from volunteering?”

               I curse under my breath, and can only freeze on the spot. But at the same time, I kind of recognize the voice. Hyein pops out from the entrance, and initially she looks startled when she sees me but her smile blooms afterwards. “Oh my God! Isn’t this Dana?!”

               I immediately rise to my feet and try to say something. “Hello.”

               “What are you doing here?” 

               “I -” I think hard of the answer. It’s going to be a lengthy explanation.

               The bathroom door opened, and Jongin’s face went blank. “Noona?”

               “Right, I came here for the bathroom. Wait a sec, Dana!” Hyein dashes away, and I drop to the chair again.

               “What is she doing here?” I whisper to Jongin.

               “Well… She often comes here if she’s in the area.”

               “Why does someone always barge in when I’m here?” I mutter, and Jongin gives me a once-over. I avoid his eyes, and stare at the table. This is awkward.

               Hyein comes out from the bathroom, and Jongin is about to say something but she cuts him immediately. “Your brother-in-law is downstairs in the car, bringing side dishes from Mom. Go bring them up, I told him you’d take it. I’ll chat with Dana for a bit.”

               Jongin walks out in defeat, and I feel cold sweat on my nape. The door closes, and Hyein excitedly comes closer.

               “So. Am I thinking what I’m thinking?”

               “...um, sorry?”

               “Are you dating Jongin?”

               “No.” I answer in a millisecond. “We - I only visited for bathroom, just like you.” there are a whole lot of details I spared from that, as I should.

               “Ohh.” Hyein nods a bit. “I’ll take that for now, but I really don’t mind if you two - you know - advance into something more.” she shakes her body like a little kid, and I blink a few times, not sure how to react.

               “Unni, no… We’re just - friends.” I follow with a light laugh.

               “Yes, that’s right, just call me unni.” Hyein seems pleased. “That’s a pity then. I guess I got too worked up. Anyway, why do you look so pale?”

               I form a weary smile. “First day of period.”

               “Aigoo.” Hyein shakes her head. “The pain. Mine just finished yesterday.”

               The sides of my mouth go down. Wait - isn’t she pregnant? Come to think of it, it’s been months since we met but her stomach is flat. She shouldn’t have given birth by now though. My heart suddenly beats faster and I can’t say a word.

               The front door is opened, and Jongin comes in bringing a bag. “Thanks, noona.”

               “Alright then, I can leave now. Lovely to meet you, Dana. Really great to see you two together.” she comes to the table to hug me, and I’m still physically unresponsive. Jongin looks at us both with an unreadable expression “I’m going!”

               She left, and Jongin is quietly storing the side dishes into the fridge. I’m sitting silently, and I swallow. I fidget on my seat uncomfortably. “Er… Jongin.”

               “Yeah?”

               “That… Your sister.”

               Jongin finishes with the fridge, and stands up. “Why?”

               “Isn’t - isn’t she -” my throat seems clogged. “Pregnant?”

               Jongin wipes his hands with a towel, and sits in front of me. “She had a miscarriage.”

               My heart falls to the floor, and suddenly tears well up in my eyes. It happens so fast, and when I look down two drops land on my lap. 

               I hastily take a piece of tissue and wipe my face. “Sorry, I - I just…” I take a deep breath. “That time at the cemetery, she looked so happy. And actually I met her once after that, she was buying pregnancy vitamins.”

               “Yeah, she told me about that. She sounded so excited to meet you.”

               My heart clenches. I cover my face with my hands, and put my elbows to the table. “Oh God… And a few days ago I even told you you should be good to kids because you were going to be an uncle soon.”

               Jongin sits in front of me, and I hear him pulling out more tissue sheets. “You said I wasn’t bad with kids. I’ll just take the compliment.”

               I lower my hands and stare into the thin air. “She must be broken.”

               “Everyone in the family is devastated at first, but she’s the one who consoled and assured us everything is okay.” Jongin says, then puts down his head a bit. “But well… I’m close with my brother-in-law and I know what happens when the family’s not looking.”

               “Oh no.” my eyes feel hot again and I fan my face.

               “But it’s getting better now. You can see yourself. They say they’re going to try again.”

               It’s quiet for a while. Jongin offers the extra tissues silently and I take them. “Now, do you want to eat or not? You can take the food home if you want to leave quickly.” he says.

               “I’ll eat.” I answer as I fix my face. “You’ve even set the table like this, how can I not.”

               Jongin puts the food in front of us, and reveals two rice bowls with chicken. “Stop crying and eat.”

               “I get it.” I sneer. “I’ll treat you to a meal next time. Or buy you something, if you don’t want to eat with me.”

               “You don’t have to.”

               “What’s the equivalent of helping a female friend during her time of the month? Does men have something like that too or -”

               Jongin has raised his chopsticks and lets them down again with a sigh. “Joo Dana, just eat.”

*

It’s January 14th! Happy birthday Kim Jongin ♥