Life keeps going.

Every time I find myself alone, without you, I can't help thinking about you.

I recently met up with middle school friends, all of them guys. They all hugged me freely, demanding from me hugs when I'm about to leave.

I miss them. While no one could ever replace them, I have this little wish in my heart where I want you and your friends to do the same to me someday.

I thought it would get better over time. That eventually your quiet rejection would settle into my brain and I would understand and move on. But I never really did.

Why?

You never really ended things the way my other crushes ended. 

Besides that Taemin got a girlfriend, everyone else escaped my life. The first one stopped having classes with me. The second one went onto high school, since he was a year older.

But you only kept coming. Over the summer, you contacted me online. I was nervous on being too forward since you recently got your account, but then we discussed until midnight what was going on. Turns out you went to the other side of the world, and for some reason I was willing to sacrifice my sleep for your reaching hand, even if it was only for an hour. 

We were still awkward when you came back. But ever since you actually sat next to me in History class, we sometimes speak to each other like we're not speaking face to face.

I'm still tense, wondering when I'm pushing too much. We're barely friends. Are we even close? I wouldn't know.

I try to distract myself with other guys, but eventually it always comes back to you. I want to yell "STOP!" but I can't. Who would I yell to it? I'm not sure who I actually would blame.

Is it just a concidence that you're not asking anyone to Homecoming, especially since I've consistently proclaimed I wasn't going? I hope it is. I need to stop thinking our lives are intertwined for a reason.

I never dreamed about you in the same way, true. You were just there as a friend or in the background. I think maybe once I dreamed you in the same way as before, but when I woke up I only laughed.

But the dreams will never stop coming.

*

[A/N]: Hey guys! Sorry, I don't feel like making a sequel yet. (well, if I make one.) I just needed to let that out. That's all ^_^

I should stop bothering you guys but I don't know where else to let out all MY FEELS XD