[13]

 

Yours 

 

“Hyung Joonnie!~” 

 

‘Oh great.’ I thought to myself as I watched Amy motioning Hyung Joon over and offering him a seat beside me. For the past 3 days, Amy had been doing much more than necessary trying to get me and Joon together.

 

Hyung Joon obediently took the seat next to me like he was oblivious to what her plans were. We were at a local steakhouse. She went around the table and took a seat between my cousin and Kyu Jong, that,  I didn’t mind, she and Kyu Jong became close friends after day 1. But how could she leave me like this?!

 

I quietly took a peek at either man sitting beside me behind the menu. After 3 days of Amy’s ‘careful planning’ Young Saeng had already developed a well rounded agitation towards her everytime she spoke. Overwhelmed by the intense atmosphere that radiated of Young Saeng, I quickly ordered my food and excused myself for the washroom.

 

I sighed as I slapped water onto my burning face, rubbing off the make up that never failed to make me look older than I really was. I sunk to the floor and leaned my head on the wall. What the hell was I gonna do when I got back out there?

 

The door opened and I expected it to be Amy considering the lack of people in the diner because we were there early.

 

“You don’t know how much you’re putting me through.” I cursed at her.

 

“Me? Are you not the one breaking our promise?” My eyes widened as his voice and shadow towered over me. I then realized he was talking about our deal from before, that as long as none of the members fell in love with me and vice versa, I would stay in the group with them.

 

“What the hell? Young Saeng! This is the lady’s room! People are gonna come in!” I said, glaring up at him.

 

“You’re right.” He took my arm and deliberately towed me into the furthest stall before locking it and forcing me into the door, his hands on either side of my head. 

 

“What do you want from me Young Saeng?” I asked him in pure frustration now. “I am not yours. And frankly, I have no reason to stay with you anymore because Baby had in fact confessed his love to me. It’s over.”

 

‘I have to get out of here.’ I told myself. ‘I have to get out of here before I hurt him anymore than I already did.’

 

A hand grabbed mine as I reached for the lock. I felt my head snap back as a pair of forceful lips crashed into mine. His hand pulled my head back by the roots so that I was unable to turn away. However, running away became a trivial thing to me because I wanted this. I wanted him.

 

I didn’t care at that moment what my best friend’s plans were. I didn’t care about the fact that Hyung Joon and everybody else was waiting for me, for us. I didn’t care that Young Saeng was simply using my lips as a pain killer, a replacement. I didn’t care because I just wanted to be in his arms and that I finally realized, at that time why I was think about him and not anybody else…because I was falling in love him. Falling in love with Heo Young Saeng.

 

“I want you to go out with Hyung Joon.” A sudden shock ran through my body as he held me securely in his arms.

 

“But I—“

 

“As long as I get to hold you like this once in a while, I’ll be fine.” He said. I freed myself from his arms as what he just said processed into my brain.

 

“Is that it? You’re willing to give me away because you’ll be fine?” I exploded. His eyes were in shock as he watched me yell at him. “What about me? What about my promise to you? That I’d stay by your side no matter what? What about my feelings?”

 

With that, I stormed out of the washroom on the edge of tears as I reminded myself to hold it in because there were people outside waiting for me.

 

When I walked up to the table, Amy, who sense the change of aura around me, made Jung Min and Baby rearrange so that I was sitting between the two of them instead. Jung Min gave my hand a gentle squeeze under the table before returning to his food. I too turned to mine and attempted to concentrate on it. From the corner of my eye, I saw Young Saeng return and immediately felt guilty. I shouldn’t have screamed at him like that.

 

Later on that night, while everybody was sound asleep, I made my way to Hyung Joon’s room and quietly knocked on the glass door. He wasn’t asleep yet because he immediately reacted to the sound. He motioned for me to enter.

 

“Sorry, you must be tired.” I told him as we sat on the bed next to each other.

 

“Aniyo. What’s wrong?” He asked as his eyes examined my face. His fingers hesitantly grazed my lips. “Swollen. What happened?” I was hoping that he wouldn’t notice that. 

 

I sat there, wondering if it would be best to tell him but he read the hesitation.

 

“You don’t have to tell me.” He then looked me in the eyes. “But you do have something to tell me.” He read off my face. 

 

“Make me yours.” I murmured, my voice barely audible. “I-I know that I’m young and inexperienced and troublesome. But, Hyung Joon, please allow me to be yours.” 

 

He didn’t say anything for a while.

 

“You do know I’m the biggest player out of all of them. And that by the end of all my relationships, all my girlfriends lose their ity to me.”

 

I felt my face flush red as he said that so casually. “T-that’s….negotiable.” I mumbled and then froze as he stripped out of his t-shirt on spot. I stared at his body incredulously and immediately snapped out of it when his lips found mine and he was over me. I was all so mighty prepared for what to come but his soft chuckled filled the air as he teasingly kissed my forehead.

 

“I was just joking.” He laughed. “I’m no e. You’re still young, we’ll wait until you’re ready.” He pulled me into his arms and leaned his head on my head. 

 

“You have no idea how happy I am.” He said contently. I too returned the embrace and let myself sink into his warmth. I could get used to this.

 

That night, after scaring the out of me with his semi-ual play, he pulled his shirt back on and held me in his arms where we stayed until morning.

 

The next morning, I decided to make breakfast for Amy and the other members so I woke up early. It was 7 o’clock when someone joined me in the kitchen which was weird because all the members and Amy were hard sleepers, it would be the end of the world if they woke up on their own before 8 o’clock.

 

“So, you and Maknae had fun last night?”

 

“What’s it to you Young Saeng?” I asked as I loaded the final compartments of the meal onto plates.

 

“I changed my mind, I don’t want you with him.” He replied. I didn’t even bother to look at him.

 

“And I should listen to you because…?”

 

“Because I love you. I love you more than he does so come back to me.”

 

I tuned to face him furiously. “Heo Young Saeng. I was never yours in the first place. And frankly, I will not go to you at all because Joon loves me for who I am, not some ex-girlfriend of his. So don’t you dare tell me you love me because I don’t believe you anymore.” I made my way past him then and escaped to just get some air for myself.

 

---

 

August 20th, 2010

 

Today is Amy’s birthday and much more, the first day that me and Hyung Joon are officially going out. My “boyfriend”. Never had I thought this day would come. Me and one of Korea’s most wanted idols? Maybe, just maybe, this life isn’t so bad. But it’s too early to say that. After all, there’s only one month left.