Running away is the only thing that makes sense to me these days. I may get tired and God my legs hurt but still, it doesn’t even able to compare with the pain inside my heart. I know it’s not right to run away like this but I can’t seem to endure it anymore. One by one pain come and invaded my heart. If I don’t run from it, I might die. My heart won’t be able to endure it any longer and stop. That time, I’ll be heartless. What’s the usage of heart if it doesn’t feel anything anymore right? I don’t want to be like that. it may hurt a lot but still I want to have the heart to feel it. And to do that, I need to run away from all of this. Even if it’s just for a while.

As the running went faster, it gets hard for me to breath. My chest felt pain and like I was drowning, I’m suffocating. My eyes started to get blurry and my whole body is weak. Since I have no strength left, I can’t stand anymore and fell but thank God somebody catch me because if not, I might faint out in the middle of nowhere and in the dark night like this. “~~~~~~~~-ah….” I know that voice. Weakly, I lifted my head up just to saw Yoochun holding me tightly. Never taught he’s the one who I would see at time like this.

“Oppa….”

“Gaja!” He lifted me up bridal style and started walking.

Leaning my head on his chest, I could hear the sound of his heart beating. The sound was so loud and clear. It was really strong. Really strong. No wonder he could still stay calm after what happen in his life. It’s because he had such a strong heart. It beats like a lightning storm. Why can’t my heart be as strong as his? If it was stronger maybe my life was better. I could control my emotion and live like Yoochun.

“Oppa….”

“Ye.”

“How did you find me?” I thought no one ever cares to run after me.

“I follow you. Damn you run fast!” I chuckled after hearing that.

“Wanna know why I run fast?”

“Why?”

“Because that’s the only thing that I’m really good at….”

“………….”

“I know it’s bad to run away from problems. It’s not good. Not good at all but only by running I could clear up my mind. There’s a storm inside my heart and when I run, the storm cools down and even stop. Maybe it’s only for a while but at least I got the time to think.”

“Is it fun?”

“Huh?”

“Running away. Is it fun?” I smiled at that question.

“Yes. It is fun oppa. Of course it’s tiring but its very fun”, I really enjoy it very much.

“Next time when you run could you take me with you?”

“Oppa….” I looked up at him. If I thought I had it rough on life, I was wrong. Yoochun’s life is far worst than mine. He may look cool and happy outside but inside there’s a lightning storm that need to be stop if not, he might lose it.

“Chebal…. Take me with you the next time you run….”

“Arasseo. I’ll take you with me”, it’s always fun to have an accompanier.

“Gomawo….”

“You’re welcome oppa.”

Tightly I hang on to him. Leaning on his chest, I closed my eyes. Being inside his embrace makes me felt save. Just like how I usual felt when I’m in Yunho’s arm. Truthfully I really wish it was Yunho that is with me right now but since I know I’m nothing to him I don’t think much anymore. I’m grateful enough to have Yoochun here. Now that I think of it, Yoochun is always next to me when I’m in need of someone to comfort me. I’ve always thought that I’m all alone in this harsh world but guess I was wrong. There’s always someone besides me. It’s just I’m the one who never realize it.

“Mianeyo oppa….”

“Huh?” Yoochun looked at me.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“For never saying thank you to you.”

“Why should you say thank you?”

“Because you always stand by my side when I need someone and I never realize it until now. Thank you very, very much oppa.”

“No thank you for walking into my life. If it wasn’t because of you I might still be a erted player who only ruin innocent girl’s life”, he did reduce his erted attitude since we’ve become friends. But still, once a player, ALWAYS a player but I don’t mind. A nice, hot and handsome player like this, who would mind right?

“Aniya oppa. I didn’t do anything”, all I did was leaning on him. That doesn’t seem like helping at all doesn’t it?

“You did do something.”

“Like what oppa?”

“You change something in here….” He looked at his heart.

“Because of you, this heart can be as strong as it is now. It’s all because of you ~~~~~~~-ah.”

“What did I do oppa?”

“You remind me what it’s like to fall in love again”, ?????

“You’re in love oppa?! With whom?!” This is starting to get exciting!

“Nobody”, quickly he looked away as if he never said anything.

“Awhhhh! Come on oppa! Tell me. I won’t tell anyone. Promise!”

“Yah! You’re supposed to be sad remember?” Oh yeah! Forgot! I’m sad L

“Why are you sad anyway? Is it because Seul Ki?”

“Aniyo oppa. It’s not because of her”, ok maybe it’s a bit about her but she’s not the main reason.

“Than what is it?” I raised my head and look at him. Should or shouldn’t I tell him?

“Do you still love Seul Ki?”

“Hey, I ask you a question first.”

“Just answer it oppa.”

“Arasseo. Um… nope.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. Not at all.”

“Does your heart hurt when you see her kissing or being all lovey-dovey with Yunho?” Yoochun stopped walking and look at me.

“How-d?”

“That’s the reason why I’m sad right now.”

“????” He is a bit dumb isn’t he?

“I saw….I…I….” The words stuck inside my throat.

“You what?!” 0.0! Someone’s getting impatient.

“Relax. I’m trying to tell you here but it’s not that easy….”

“Mianeyo….”

“Aniya. Gwenchana. It’s just…. It’s….”

“No need to tell me if you aren’t ready.”

“I saw Jaejoong oppa kissing Jooyeon unnie today….” My voice cracks as I said that.

“Oh……………….” Even he couldn’t give a respond to that.

“Are you sure you saw Jooyeon kissing Jaejoong?”

“Yes I am. I live with them of course I wouldn’t be mistaken it.”

“But this is LEE JOOYEON were talking about.”

“But that’s the truth. The very, very awful truth….”

“Hey ~~~~~~~ maybe….”

“Oppa no need to console me. I’m ok.”

“I could hook you up with nice guy you know.”

“Nice guy? Who?” I don’t believe he have any ‘nice’ guy friend.

“Me”, I burst out laughing.

“If YOU are ‘nice’ than I rather date an un-nice guy thank you very much.”

“Yah! Am I that bad huh?”

“Kinda.”

“Ouch! That hurts!”

“I’m just kidding oppa. You’re good enough for me. More than good but….”

“But your heart belongs to Yunho right?” It’s like he knew what I was going to say. There’s bitterness in his voice. Why is he feeling bitter? Does he? Nah! That’s impossible. A guy like him wouldn’t fall for me. I mean just look at how pathetic I am? Why would a prince charming like him want this sad and poor little damsel in distress right?

“I’ll wait…”

“Huh?” I looked at him with loads of question running through my mind.

“What?” He’s scaring the hell out of me.

“Nothing”, and he change back to normal. Ok…. What a weird, weird situation.

“~~~~~~~~-ah.”

“Ye oppa”, I stared innocently at his face.

“Wae yo oppa?”

“Can I put you down now?”

“Huh?!”

“Can you walk now?” Ah!

“Yes”, he quickly put me down and sighed in relief.

“Yah! What was that about?!” I’m pissed.

“What?”

“The sigh in relief thingy.”

“Ah! Well…. You’re kinda heavy”, uh!

“Who ask you to lift me up huh? Not me right?!”

“Well I never thought it’s too far away from your home. Why can’t we just go back and take my car?”

“Yah! I didn’t ask you to run after me! urgh! Just go!” And I stopped away. I heard a little chuckled from Yoochun. Uh! It’s not funny ok!

“~~~~~~~~-ah! Wait up!” I heard him ran to me and swiftly he lift me up again.

“Uh!” I was startled by his sudden action.

“Oppa, I thought I was HEAVY! Why care to lift me up again?”

“Because I like to.”

“Let me down oppa! Let me down this instant!”

“Just shut up ~~~~~~~~-ah.”

“If I don’t than what are you going to do huh?”

“I’ll do this….” In a blink of an eye his lips were touching mine. It feels like the whole world stop as our lips touched. My heart started to beat a hundred times faster. It was so fast that it feels like bursting out from my chest. I could feel fireworks everywhere and also bird singing love song besides us. I even kissed him back. It’s not the first time a guy kissing me like this but why does this feel different? Why am I acting this way?

As I started to enjoy it, my heart hurts. The image of Yunho flashed in front of my eyes. I can’t do this. It’s wrong! Even though I know Yunho won’t mind it at all, he might even support it, I still can’t do it. My heart won’t let it. This feeling is just too important for me to just let it go for a little feeling that’s going to bloom if I don’t stop kissing Yoochun now. I can’t! Quickly I pushed Yoochun away and jumped off his embrace. Looking at him once again, I shook my head and ran away. Lee ~~~~~~~, what have you got yourself in to?

“~~~~~~~~~-AH!!!!” Ignoring those voices as I arrived home, I ran up to my room and locked myself in there. Sitting at the edge of my room, I touched the lips. OMG! What am I doing?! Why in the ing hell did I kiss him back?! Pabo ya Lee ~~~~~~?! Urgh! Jinja ya! Pabo! Pabo! Couldn’t you be more stupid huh Lee ~~~~~~~?! Why?! Why did you do that huh?! Mitchi gesso?! Urgh! What should I do now? Owwhhh! Pabo! Pabo  ~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!

“~~~~~~~-ah, gwenchana?!” I heard Jaejoong pounding hard on the door.

“Just leave me alone will you?! urgh!” I ran up my bed and pulled the covers up. I wish I would forget everything by tomorrow. Please God, erase my memory! Please! Pretty please!!!!!!

AWAKEN by the sound of the alarm; I looked at myself on the mirror. Damn I look awful. Like a wife who just lost her husband. My hand reached for my lips again. Ah damn it! I beg to you already didn’t I? Why didn’t you grant my wish God? I’m so dead! Dead! I don’t want to give Yoochun hope but I don’t want to hurt his feeling. Furthermore, I don’t want to get on the bad side of his fanclub member. The last time someone did, they ended up in the hospital for 4 MONTH! Not weeks but MONTHS! I’m not ready to die! Still too young to die.

“~~~~~~~-ah! Wake up. Its school time honey”, umma called out for me.

“Urgh! Shiro! I don’t want to go to school!” Quickly I pulled up the covers and hide wishing no one would find me.

“What’s wrong honey?” Umma asked again. Why can’t she just let me be?

“~~~~~~~-ah, gwehchana?” Now she calls Jaejoong to call me out. It won’t work umma.

“Is there something wrong?”

“EVERYTHING IS!” First Seul Ki attends the party that was supposed to celebrate my success, than I saw you and Jooyeon unnie kissing and now me kissing Yoochun?! Can’t it get any worse?!

“You know you can always talk to me. I’m always here”, that words are already lame oppa. I can’t simply say that I’m so upset with you to you can I?!

“~~~~~~~-ah, gwenchana?” Now it’s Jooyeon unnie! Urgh!

“Munchkin, gwehchan shi?” Even appa joined in. Just great!

“WHY CAN’T ANYBODY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE HUH?!” I yelled in frustration as I opened the door.

“Whoa? Cool down ~~~~~~~-ah. We’re just making that  you are fine”, unnie said.

“Well I’m FINE! Leave me alone will ya?”

“What about school?”

“Urgh! I know! I’m going to get ready for it. Now GO!” I slammed the door shut and make my way towards the bathroom and cleaned myself. After that change into any appropriate clothing and took a few stuff than ran down stairs.

With an annoyed face, I just ran outside and walk to school. I’m so not in the mood to look at Jaejoong and unnie’s face; it amuses me on how they date behind me so I wouldn’t know. Huh! I know about it in the end don’t I? Stupid idiota! Next time if you want to keep a secret, make sure you look around you before you KISS! Omo, this is so not good for health. Being moody and stress isn’t good for the body especially for a person who dislikes vegetables and only eats junk food.

“~~~~~~~-ah!” Changmin and Junsu ran up to me.

“WHAT?!” Poor them. They don’t know anything but still get yelled by me.

“Whoa! Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today”, Junsu took a step behind.

“Gwenchana ~~~~~~~~-ah?” Seriously Changmin, don’t you have another pick up line OTHER than THAT?! I’ve been hearing it way too much today.

“Huhhhhhh….” I took a deep breath and calm myself.

“I’m fine. Definitely fine”, a fake smile formed on my face.

“If that you call fine, you need to meet an anger management people because girl you are SCARAYYYYY~” I shoot a death glare at Junsu and he quickly shut his mouth up.

“What’s up ~~~~~~~~? You never get mad for no reason like this”, Changmin patted on my back.

“Awhh… Minnie-ah!” I felt like crying now.

“Wea yo?”

“It’s a long story….”

“Than shorten it”, again Junsu gets the death glare from me but this time was added by Changmin’s.

“Arasseo! Arasseo! I’ll be quiet!”

“Good! Now tell me ~~~~~~~. We have a long way to school you know.”

“Arasseo” and I started telling them what happen. Both of them were listening intensely like I was telling some horror story.

“Ok, I don’t know which are more awful. Jaejoong hyung kissing Jooyeon nuna or Yoochun hyung kissing you but both are DISGUSTING!” Junsu really isn’t helping me with this.

“Are you sure it’s JOOYEON NUNA Jaejoong hyung kissed?” Changmin kinda doubt my story.

“Yes it is! I saw it with my two eyes!”

“Jaejoong hyung seriously don’t have a taste in women unlike me, his greatest dongseang”, both Changmin and I just rolled our eyes. Junsu is SO full of himself sometimes. Ok fine. Not sometimes but ALL THE TIME!

“But she is better than ~~~~~~~~ at least”, Mr. Duck said WHAT?! UGH!

“YAH! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAID?!”

“Did you hear that?” Both of us nodded.

“Ops! Sorry. hehehehe….” He just smiled innocently hoping I might forgive him. You are so, SO dead Kim Junsu.

“You….” I take a step towards Junsu.

“~~~~~~~-ah, relax….” He took a step away from me.

“Are….” Another step forward.

“You look really good today ~~~~~~-ah. Like 2011 Ms. Universe”, he took another step away from me.

“Dead….”

“I should run shouldn’t I?”

“Yes you should” and Junsu ran away like an idiot. Changmin and I on the other hand just smiled and walk away. Just let Junsu ran like I was chasing him. It’ll take a while for him to realize that I’m NOT chasing him. That’s my way of teaching him a lesson.

Walking side by side with Changmin, we talked. This is the right way to forget everything that’s been happening to me all this while. Running away doesn’t seem to work because it just added more problems to it. Why did I run away last night? Aish! If only I just stay put and endure everything, things won’t be like this right now. Damn! I guess people can’t run from making bad decision huh.

Arriving at the school, both of us quickly went to the canteen because as usual Changmin is hungry from too much walking. My face really brightens up when I saw Jessica, Taeyang, Jiyong and Siwon but everything changed when the sight of Yoochun came in. damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Quickly I hide behind Changmin hoping Yoochun won’t realize my presence. God please! Help meee!

“~~~~~~~~-ah!” Owh damn it! I said please already didn’t I? urgh!

“Yes”, I put up a fake smile and face him. Like I said before, running away isn’t going to change anything.

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking.”

“No. what I mean is, can we talk privately?”

“No we can’t. Let’s go Minnie”, I tried to walk away with Changmin but swiftly he took my arm and pulled me to face him.

“Please….” His voice was begging for me. I looked up at Changmin. He just nodded. Damn it!

“Arasseo. Gaja!” And I walked away with Yoochun.

Yoochun took me towards the empty classroom. Without letting go of my arm, he looked straight into my eyes causing me to felt awkward by it. Stop staring will you? It makes me felt uncomfortable. Seriously.

“Mianeyo….”

“Huhh?!” I never expected to hear that.

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“I know what I did last night was wrong. It was out of my control. I’m really sorry ~~~~~~~~-ah….” From the way he look right now, I know he regret his action.

“Aniya oppa. It’s ok. Really. It is!” I don’t want him to felt guilty. It was partly my fault after all.

“No it’s not. I shouldn’t have done that….” He can’t even look at me now. My hand slowly reached for his face and lifts it up.

“Oppa, it’s ok. Don’t felt guilty. I was wrong too”.

“Are we ok now?”

“Yes we are. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you very much ~~~~~~~.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s go before someone sees us here”, with a smile, both of us walk away from there. Things seem to get better now that I’m not running away. Next time, I should stop running and deal with the problem. That’s how I’ll do it from now.