“Yunho oppa…. wea?” I’ve been repeating that word again and again unstoppably. No matter how much I said it, nothing would change. No answer will I be able to get. Lee ~~~~~~~~. What happen to you? How could you let this happen? This is just not like you. This isn’t how it supposed to end up. Why were you so blind to not to see the truth? No! This isn’t your fault! It’s his! Why does he need to be so sweet? Tender me with the smile, laugh and happiness. It’s his fault! Why didn’t he warn me first? Why didn’t anybody warn me?! Not Jaejoong, not Yoochun and not even my own sister, Jooyeon unnie!

What am I supposed to do now? What? Tell me what? I’m out of energy to think anything. If I can, I don’t want to go home. Seeing Jaejoong and unnie’s face disgust me! But I need to go home. Umma and appa must be dead worried. They are probably the only reason why I’m still able to live in this neighbourhood. If it wasn’t because of them, I would probably follow my aunt to move far away from here after Jaejoong move.

“~~~~~~~~!!!!” A husky voice which I think I knew called for my name. Slowly I turned around to face that human being. I could feel my eyes burned when I saw him. Park Yoochun.
“What happen to you?!” Oh don’t need to act worried.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK?!” Yoochun looked shocked by the sudden rage coming out of me.
“Why oppa?! why didn’t you tell me? Why? Why did you let me lost in this love? why oppa?” He look lost for a while than it hit him about the truth behind Yunho’s status.
“~~~~~~~-ah…. I didn’t mean to….”
“Is this all just a fun game to you huh? Seeing me falling for a guy who will never love me? Is it?!” I started to hit him wishing that he would feel the pain I felt. But everyone knows that’s impossible.
“~~~~~~~~-ah…. Mianhae….. mianhae….” Even though he looks really sorry, I just can’t forgive him.
“Is your sorry can cure my heart?! Can it?!”
“~~~~~~~~….”
“Please, turn back the time oppa. Please help me…..” my lengs just gave up the streght and I fell down on knees. I can’t do this anymore.
“~~~~~~~~!!” Yoochun quickly hold me and helped me to stand still.
“Oppa…….” I can’t say anything more. I don’t have the strength to do anything more.
“Let’s get you home”, Yoochun lifted me up bridal style and bring me home. all the way to home, I just clenched tight on his shirt and cried even more. Oh God! I’m gonna have to do a serious make-up this morning.

“~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!” Everyone in the house screamed as soon as they saw me and Yoochun walked in the house. Even with all the voice, I could hear Yunho’s. But that just make me hold on to Yoochun’s even more. Hiding my face from the crowd. I don’t want to meet them now.
“~~~~~~~~-ah….” From the sound of his steps, I could feel that he’s walking close to me.
“I need some rest. Please don’t disturb me. Oppa, send me to my room”, Yoochun nodded and just follow my order.

He laid me down the bed carefully and pulled up the covers for me. Closing my eyes shutly, I wish that everything would disappear. Gone from my memory. “Oppa mianeyo ~~~~~~~….” And with that, he walked away living me alone in that room. It didn’t take me too long before I fell into a deep slumber. God, I wish everything will be fine when I woke up.

“BABY!” Someone slipped his hands around me and hugged me tightly. I turned around and smile at him. Yunho. He’s my greatest love ever so far. My life would be a disaster if he hadn’t show up.
“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting here for hours!” Even though my actions seems like I’m mad at him but truthfully, I’m not. Not even a little.
“Aww! My girlfriend is mad. Mianeyo honey. I had something to do at work”, you always do but I don’t mind.
“If you do it again, I don’t want to talk to you forever!”
“Arasseo!”
“Promise me!”
“I promise baby. I promise….” Lightly, he kissed my cheek. I always love it when he did that.
“~~~~~~~~-ah, saranghae….” I’ve heard that words many times already, but every time he said it, I feel like I’m in heaven now.
“Na du oppa!” I would be crazy if I wasn’t.
“Gomawo….”
“Eh?” Why suddenly say thank you?
“Gomawo for putting up with me all this years. I know it’s been really hard on you. Messing up dates, not calling you, always busy, never be there when you need me and always makes you cry. I’m really sorry for all of that….” I swiftly turned around to face him.
“It’s ok oppa. I understand. Even before we started dating, I knew this would happen but I don’t care. Having you in my life is already more than enough for me”, I would never need anything else.
“Gomawo ~~~~~~-ah!” He just quickly pulled me and hugged me tightly. I just smile. It might sometimes be hard on me. There are even times that I wanted to give up but it’s all worth it. You, here, next to me. That’s all I wanted.
“Saranghae! Neomu neomu saranghae!” He pulled away from the hugged and kissed me passionately on the lips. I kissed him back with all my heart. Jung Yunho, saranghae. Jinja saranghae!

KRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” The alarm clock instantly woke me up. I quickly turned off the alarm and sat silently on my bed. That dream. I touched my lips. I could still feel the kissed on my lips. As if it was real. But it wasn’t. I know it wasn’t. Cause if it is, my heart wouldn’t be suffering so much right now. It won’t pound my pound so hard until my chest is hurt by it.

It’s all started to make me remember how I first was attracted by Yunho. A dream. A sweet nice dream describing how happy I was with him. It’s just a dream. I know! But it doesn’t felt like it. So does this dream. I don’t get it! He’s not mine! But why is he always slipped inside my dream giving me all this false love? Why?! Can’t you just get out of my life? Leave me alone will you? Isn’t it enough already?! Don’t do this to me anymore.

Again, I cried. Countless times I pound my chest with my hands so it would stop feeling these feelings. Stop! Stop it! Don’t! You’ll get hurt! Just stop it! It’s better for all of us! Stop loving him. Just stop! Will you be able to survive the upcoming suffering if you keep on acting this way? No you won’t so why can’t you just listen to me and….

“STOP IT!!!!” Why is this happening to me again? Why can’t I just fall for someone who would love me? Why?
“Yunho oppa…. saranghae….” I love you too much to ever get over you. I love you more than I used to love Jaejoong. I can’t stand it!
“~~~~~~~~-ah….” I was crying too much that I didn’t even realized somebody else was in the room. I looked up and saw Yunho, standing straight right in front of me. His face seems like he was just being punched by someone. Jaejoong. Definitely Jaejoong.
“Oppa….” I was too shock to even say anything. Oh ! He just listens to every word I said. Congrats Lee ~~~~~~~! You just embarrassed yourself AGAIN!
“You….you love me?” Yoochun is right. He is dumb! He didn’t even realize it even when everyone DOES!
“Ye oppa….”

The universe seemed too stopped when I looked up to meet his eyes. I don’t know how to describe the way he looks at me. He looks shock, unexpected and guilty. There’s also a twist in it but I can’t get it. What are you trying to say to me Yunho oppa? what? I don’t get it.

“Mianeyo ~~~~~~~-ah…. I can’t….” even though my heartbreaks when I heard that but I still could smile. The tears, I hold it back. I don’t want him to felt guilty for all of this. It wasn’t his fault.
“It’s ok oppa. I know everything….” Even if it hurts me to admit it.
“Mian!” Yunho just walked away from there. I wanted to chase him so badly but I just sat there and stare. Even if I go and meet him, it wouldn’t make any difference at all. All I could do now is, cry even more. The guy I love just dump me. Another fantasy love story of mine ended with me crying all alone.

Finishing up my last water of tears, I got up, went to the bathroom and shower, wore some appropriate cloth and get ready for school. Than I walked down and headed straight towards the dinning room. I just look at people in the room. Appa is reading the day’s newspaper, umma eat while reading the magazine and Jaejoong with unnie talk, smile, laugh and totally ignore my presence there. Is it just me or is everything is just hurting this morning?

“Good morning….” I said dully and sat next to umma.
“~~~~~~~~-ah! Gwenchana?” Stop acting like you care Jaejoong.
“……..”
“I already punch that jerk for you. Don’t worry. He won’t do this to you anymore!” Do you even know what he do Jaejoong?
“Yah!” My voice was so cold that it drives attention from my parents. I even added a death glare in it.
“Who do you think you are to punch him?”
“Lee ~~~~~~~~!! Jaejoong’s here only wanted to help you! Can’t you at least treat him nicely?!” Unnie suddenly got mad.
“Why should I? He’s the reason I’m like this!” I started to raise my voice.
“BWOAH?!”
“Aish! Jinja ya! You make everyone worried about you the whole night. Now you’re doing this stupid attitude?!” Unnie’s already up from her sit. I just smirked.
“Don’t act like you didn’t do anything wrong….”
“Meorago?!”
“Bea Seul Ki”, it took only one name to stopped unnie’s word. She quickly looked down. Jaejoong’s looked away too. What a pair!
“Have you guys had enough fun yet? Treating me like a toy! Lie to me! Gave me false hope! HUH??!!” I can’t endure the angered I have inside my heart anymore.
“~~~~~~~~……” Jaejoong looked up at me. His eyes were filled with guilt.
“Mianhae….oppa mianhae….”
“Can your sorry fix my broken heart? Can it change everything back to the way it is? Can it stop this hurting? Can it?!”
“~~~~~~~~…….”
“It was a mistake that I ever love you. It was a mistake that you ever come back inside my life. It’s a mistake that I ever knew you….” And with that, I just ran out of the house. Even though I heard voices calling my name I ignore it and keep on running. Running away from them. Running away from hurt. Running away from everything.

I ran and ran until my legs can’t take it anymore. You know, what’s hurt the more than what Jaejoong and unnie did to me was knowing that I still stand up for Yunho after all of this. You know what this means? It means that I’m really, truly, madly in love with him. I really do.