Jaejoong returned with the same little plate again. He sat in front of Junsu and handed him the boil and a spoon. Junsu bowed a little: “thank you”. He received another smile as a response. The two men enjoyed their meal in silence. Then, Jaejoong returned to the kitchen, turning the bedroom lights off and wishing his guest a good night.

Junsu's preview:

I suddenly woke up. I rubbed my eyes and got up. I turned the lights on and opened the door. It is so cold. I encircled my body with my arms, freezing. To my big surprise, Jaejoong was lying on the couch, covering himself with only a long coat. I walked to his side. He was freezing under his thin cover. I returned to the bed room and looked at the blankets I had. There is an extra one I haven't seen when we were having dinner. Have Jaejoong given me all what he has so I would feel warm and let himself sleep in the cold? I sighed. How can someone living this kind of life be so nice? I returned to the anteroom and shacked him a little. He immediately opened his eyes and looked at me:

“Are you all right Junsu-ya?”

“Heyong, it is so cold”

I was surprised, because he instantly stood up and warped his coat around my shoulders.

“I am sorry I don't have a heater but you shouldn't get up from your bed like this”

I honestly didn't know what to do. I felt tears on my eyes. This man, was he an angel or was he deeply in love with me? I took his hands on mine: “I was speaking about you heyong. You will be sick if you sleep like this” Jaejoong seemed to be puzzled for a moment but he smiled widely “don't worry about me Junsu-ya. I don't get sick that fast”

“And can't we just sleep comfortably together? The bed you have is quite large for the two of us”

“It is only a bed for one person. Just go and sleep well. You will be sick if you stay here”

“I am sure we can find a suitable position heyong”

“won't you feel...”

“I won't. Just come”

I pulled him by his arm to the bed room. It is really freezing. How can he stand this? And why would he stand it...for me?

“why did you wake up anyway?” He asked me. I stopped and chuckled:

“I wanted to go to the bathroom”

“and you don't need to go anymore?” he laughed.

“oh I need to”

I returned and found Jaejoong sitting on the side of the bed.

“You didn't cover yourself yet? You are truly unbelievable!”

“Come quickly. You are trembling there”

I truly was trembling under my cloths so I closed the door and hurried under the sheets putting the warm coat I had on my shoulders aside. Jaejoong also got in. We turned to our sides as to face each other. Jaejoong took my hands and rubbed them as to warm them up:

“I am sorry Junsu-ya”

“about what heyong?”

“because I let you get cold”

“Don't you think you are just too kind”

“just with you Junsu-ya. Don't trust me too much”

“and why only with me? You even don't know me”

“no...I do know you very well Junsu-ya”

“uh??”

“Do you remember that guy you found really beaten up that day? The one you gave him your jacket and all the money you had as a price of your good results at school?”

I searched into my memories. Yes...i do remember, how can I forget him? I looked carefully at Jaejoong even with the dark surrounding us: “yes...was you”

“yes...it was me. Do you remember what I told you then?”

I smiled at the memory: “You said that one day, when I would really need help, God would send me someone and that you wished that the someone would be you...and that if it were you, you would take good care of me just like I had helped you that day”

“True. You have a good memory”

“That was really you and...God did send you to me when I needed help” I couldn't stop giggling. This is like a dream, like a story book.

“thank you heyong. What you did today for me is much more meaningful than what I have done for you. I didn't need that money after all, but...”

“then why didn't people think the way you did?”

“I don't know”

“it is because you are special”

“and what about you?”

“I am...jaejoong”

We laughed together. Now, I am more reassured. I know why he helped me and I know I can trust him.

Jaejoong preview

This morning was different. I woke up to find someone beside me, a change for one day. I don't know what had happened during the night but I had Junsu sleeping deeply in my arms. I could feel him breathing slowly against my neck and I could feel his chest going up in down against my own. This closeness...is so heartwarming. I didn't want to wake his up, so I just moved slowly, supporting my head with my elbow, I remained there observing the angelic face sleeping beside me. How can someone be so cute while sleeping? Just like a little child. I brushed his bangs from his eyes. I can just remain in this position, caressing his hair like this forever. Why am I feeling this way toward him? It is true that he helped me that day. When every hope I had just faded, I found him in front of me, giving me hope again. He maybe he didn't know what I was going through that time, but when I looked at him, it was just if he knew everything and was there because he knew I needed him. That smile he gave me that day, the tears he shed for me that day, all the words he said and all the comfort that came along with them...He don't even realize how he changed my life in some minutes. I will be always thankful because I though of going back to this place to find him again, before something bad happens. If I were late, I would never forgive myself...I saw him moving, he rubbed his eyes slowly, blinked few times and looked at me. I chuckled to his kiddy ways : “good morning Junsu-ya”

He was still sleepy, but he smiled back, even don't knowing what I was laughing for: “morning heyong. What were you doing?”

“nothing”

“oh really?” I blushed, really I was getting a little mad sometimes. What was I doing? Staring at a sleeping boy beside me? I got up quickly: “come on! We have to fix your car”

He sat up on the bed and eyed me with a weird look: “but you didn't tell me what you were doing heyong”

“Nothing important”

“really?”

“I will prepare breakfast”

I exited the room and heard a snoring laugh coming from inside. It was a weird laugh that made me laugh myself, yet it was so cute and so amusing. This kid is just spreading joy wherever he was.

Junsu came after me to the kitchen while I am still busy. He stopped behind me, put his hands on his back, smiled and stared at me for a while, then turned to sit down on the table and laughed again. I turned to face him, putting the plates in front of him: “what is it Junsu-ya?”

“nothing heyong”

“you little demon you!” I said pinching his cheeks. He laughed louder this time and I enjoyed listening to this EU KYAN KYAN of his.

Junsu's preview:

Jaejoong checked my car again. He brought a bag of helping tools from his house. He began fixing it, forbidding me to touch anything.

“Heyong! Let me help you please” I said, feeling guilty.

“No, you just stay there and watch. And, could you please do yourself a favor and sit on the car. You are still tired”

“I am not tired” I was really feeling tired, more tired than any other time, but I didn't want to make it obvious. Jaejoong took my hand and drove me to the front seat. He opened the door and sat me in:

“ You should listen to the your eldest Junsu-ya”

“Heyong! I am not a little child!”

He just smiled and turned away. Do I seem as tired as I really was?... I leaned backward and closed my eyes. If only, I had you, heyong, as my real brother. I opened my eyes and watched him working. Do you know how my real brothers treat me? Nothing like you, you who just remembered a tiny help I gave you one far day...A rude arm sat on my shoulder. I jumped from my daydreaming and looked to my side. A tall, muscular man was looking at me and turned to Jaejoong who was now, I don't know how standing on his side. The stranger started:

“So this is the cute boy from yesterday” I felt fever all over my body...what was going on? However, Jaejoong pulled him by the arm, so he let go of me:

“Can't you be softer Boss? You've frightened the poor kid!” The “boss” let go of a big laugh.

“I have never saw you paying such attention to anyone Jaejoongie! I began to doubt this over affection.”

“Just leave him alone Boss. He is nothing like you and nothing like me”

“but doesn't all love stories start with very different people? Romeo and Juliette, weren't they so different?” About what were those two men speaking? Is Jaejoong gay or something? Do he loves me...like, I mean, like Romeo loved Juliette? And why am I making myself the girl?! Maybe because he is the strong one here...but, was he going so touchy touchy with me because of this? I...too, enjoyed our skin-ship...but I am sure that I am completely straight and I can't...love him...like that boss is intending.

“Boss! You are just to blinded by love stories. They are the only thing you think about! That kid has a fiancee, and that fiancee is a girl and he is totally in love with her”

“and who told you he is not going to fall in love with his new hero. Besides, he is too cute to be a straight man “ and he busted again into laughing! Did I say that I hate this man!?

“ Can you shut up please!” Jaejoong said firmly...is he speaking this way whit his boss??? But the big ugly man just laughed at him. I was stuck against my car, this cruel man is enjoying his happy time but the bursts on his face show the life he is used to live...or was I just too freaky to fear anything? And now that the happy man turned to face me, I felt my heart stopping:

“Hey boy! This man, won't be nice to you just like that. Jaejoongie, did you think of him giving you the money you need just because you saved him from those bastards yesterday? Rich people never tend to pay back someone honey”

“I don't want anything from him Boss. I am going to send him home and forget about him as he will forget me”

“Great...we will see”

The monster leaved and Jaejoong approached me, he put his hand on mine, that was again on my chest and asked me: “ Are you okay?” I pulled my hand away: “ah...is it fixed?”

“yes, let me drive you until the main street so you can know where to go”

I could see that Jaejoong was upset because I, just for a second, feared him again. I feel really bad now. If Jaejoong wanted to do anything to me last night, who could have stopped him? He instead took care of me like anyone has never done. But, what if he wanted money? I feel worse now...even if he asked a price for what he does...he deserves to be given whatever he wanted...but he didn't ask me for anything...why am I being such bad person? I turned to look at him while he was driving, I really made him sad. I tried to say something as a first try:

“Heyong...I am sorry”

“I am not mad at you Junsu-ya” he didn't even turn and didn't smile, now I feel like the worst man in the earth.

“I know...but...”

“it is not because of you Junsu-ya”

“uh?...really?”

He nodded: “it is because of him”

“Do you...really need money like he said?” I was afraid of asking but I did, and Jaejoong answer was so frank. I didn't expect him to be so straightforward.

“yes..otherwise I wouldn't be so nice to him”

“Can I ask you why...you need it?”

“you are really tired...maybe I should drive you to your doctor”

“Should I take this as 'I don't want to answer' heyong?”

“No, but you seem really tired. Are you sure you are all right?”

“No...I am not fine...but, I have never been all right heyong, so it is okay”

Jaejoong stopped the car. I smiled as he turned to face me. He was worried. I may be insane but...I really liked to see him concerned...maybe because...no one worried about me.

“What is the name of the hospital where your doctor works?”

“I don't want to go heyong...he got nothing to do for me...Can you just drive me home please?”

“what do you mean he can't do nothing for you?”

“I should be resting, and because I didn't rest enough, I am feeling bad now. He would just tell me to rest and I already know that”

“Does it hurt?”

“Just a little bit”

“Did you do an operation or something”

“I will do it...soon...that's why my state isn't the best”

“when?”

“Next week”

“What?! Shouldn't you be at your hospital room now?”

“I don't want to...it is so cold...and so lonely...When I am there, I feel like I am going to die...at any moment and no one will know...because no one thinks of asking about me...at least...at home...I feel...home” It has become harder to speak...it hurts so much...Jaejoong held my hand into his as to comfort me.

“If I promise I will ask about you and come to visit you, would you go?”

“I want to go home heyong” I didn't dare to look at him, so I just watched anything outside. I knew that my eyes were filled with hot tears and I didn't want to cry again, because it will hurt me too much. I hardly could breath properly. But I felt all my body turning as Jaejoong took me in his embrace again. This became my newest weak point. I feel unable to hold anything, I want to get out everything I have inside me when I am so close to him...I felt tears rolling on my cheeks

“I know it hurts you so much when you cry Junsu-ya, but...holding it inside hurts much more. You didn't have anyone, but now, you have me and you can...give me anything you can't handle. I'll carry it for you as long as you need...I'll never get tired of it”

I didn't say anything, I was afraid of saying anything. I even didn't hold him back, because I was afraid of the feeling of letting go of him...and even if it hurts...I held back what I was able to hold, because I didn't want to get used to having someone and experience the pain of not having him anymore...because he don't know what my life looks like...and because I was too tired...from that hole life...and deep inside me I don't want to try again.

“How can I get to your house?” Jaejoong asked me as he draw back and wiped the rest of tears on my face.

I showed Jaejoong my house in the virtual map that I had on my car screen and he nodded to me as a sign that he knew where it was. Then, I leaned backward again and looked from the window.

“it is a bit far...get some sleep, I'll wake you up once we are there”

I just nodded and closed my eyes. I knew I am not going to be able to sleep. I knew I will sneak into memories and that will hurt me like hell...my pathetic life.

Jaejoong preview:

As we reached Junsu's villa, I stopped the car and turned to open the door for him. He was so tired. His face was so pale, his lips so dry... I was really worried. He got up and tried to walk but I stopped him. I didn't wait for any answer, I warped his arms around my neck and Pickaback him. He also didn't say anything, he was too weak to say or do anything. As I felt his skin touching mine...my fear grew wider...he was burning: “Junsu?” I heard a small whisper as an answer “you are having fever Junsu-ya”

I heard another “umm” as an answer but before I could move any further he said: “don't take me to the hospital please...there are only bad people...they scare me”

“Junsu?”

“don't take me there please” and his voice faded. Maybe he was hallucinating because of his high fever. I opened the door and entered. A big beautiful villa, but seems dead and cold. I walked up stares, there were many rooms.

“Junsu-ya? Where is your room?”

“last one” I heard him saying, maybe he was still half conscious. I walked to the last door and opened it. I put him carefully on his bed and went to turn the heater on. I opened his closet and searched for some comfortable cloths. When I returned to his side, I found him staring at nothing. I put the cloths aside and knelled beside his bed: “what is it Junsu-ya?” He slowly turned to face me and smiled: “I'm sorry heyong...I know I have been a burden”

“Do you want me to be mad at you Junsu-ya?”

“No, don't be mad at me”

“then stop saying things like that”

I pulled off his shoes, socks, jeans and jacket and filled him the pair of pajama I have found. I covered him with a warm blanket and touched his forehead to check on his temperature; it was still high. I searched for the right medicine and I helped him to take it. I was about to get up when Junsu held my arm: “...don't leave me alone”

“I won't leave you in this state alone Junsu-ya, but you need to sleep and you should eat. I should make you something”

“No, I don't need anything. Stay with me please”

I smiled at him. He was really lonely, really hurting. Maybe, with all my problematic life, I can be happier than him. Junsu also smiled back, he lied on my laps and closed his eyes:

“Can I sleep like this hyung?”

I moved the blanket as to cover his shoulders : “let me put you a pillow. It would be more comfortable”

“It is fine like this, heyong” He took my hand and lead it on his head, then he continued:

“Can you do it again?”

“Do what Junsu-ya?”

“What you were doing this morning and you didn't want to tell me”

I blushed : “were you awake?” Junsu chuckled “half awake heyong”

“You little devil”

Junsu's preview:

I don't care anymore, as long as I can have this wonderful feeling, as long as I can feel that there is someone who cares for me, even a little, and who is ready to give me some of his warmth and of his love...I'll just let go...even if it was a lie or a dream...I want to believe on it and let go.