Hi sweethearts! Junsu got his revenge from me because I make him suffer in every story...I just recovered from high fever TT^TT my body is aching  :( but I decided to finish this...so here we go with this long chapie....finally...hope you enjoy :D

Hands you handkerchieves from the start cuz I know I am mean...and I have good news...more lovely scenes to come after cuz Jae will rise the pace of the psychological treatment :D just a hint ^^

And A very special Thanks to my dear dropsim for making a cutie poster for the two stories (this and Kingdoms Prophecy) ^^

Love you sweety <3 I don't know why I can'y put it here nut it is in LJ and I'll try to figure out the damn problem soon ><

“Are you going to play with that plushy all day long, Junsu-ya?” Jaejoong chuckled from his desk

“Because you are not playing with me, and you have forbidden me to go out” Junsu pouted hugging his little elephant.

“ Baby I just want you to rest, so you don’t have problems. I am sorry”

“Can I get up from my bed at least hyung?”

“No Junsu-ya, yesterday was tiring for your heart. Today, you should rest well”

“but yesterday was fun and today is so boring”

Jaejoong closed the files he has and sat on the side of Junsu’s bed,

“Junsu-ya…shall I ask you something?”

“yes?”

“It is so weird…but…Can you give me your credit card and its code and…an your check book too?”

Junsu titled his head to the side, looking confused, “why hyungie? Do you need to buy a plane?”

“Actually…I want to…make your account empty”

Junsu laughed, “kidding hyung, aren’t you?”

“No Junsu-ya…your father said he will take all the money you have if you don’t get back all what you have given to that person you helped…and you won’t get it back and he wasn’t joking…besides, you didn’t pay your own operation. I checked today…I want to transfer the money to another account, so that you won’t have problems”

“Is that so?…dad will be so mad you know…”

“I know, but you have to do this operation and you need to pay for your treatment after…it is quite expensive. We can explain to your father after, nee?”

“okay…you’re right”

“Thank you…for trusting me”

Junsu smiled, “You are trustworthy hyung. You need me to sign you some checks, don’t you?”

 “It seems like a big number…I should still some”

“You don’t have to hyungie. You just take whatever you want”

“Really?! Let me think…mmm…there are so many things I want to buy actually…I will take all the money you have”

“I’ll be pleased”

“My little angel” Jaejoong hugged the smaller boy and gave him a peck on each of his cheeks. Junsu giggled,

“You kiss me and hug me too much hyung”

“You hate it?”

“No…but you please yourself too much hyung”

“Have a problem with this?”

“Yes! And you are punished! And your punishment is a chocolate cake that you should buy me before coming back!”

“yes…your honor!” and he kissed him again.

Jaejoong POV

I exited the bank and got in Junsu’s car. I sighed and drove my hand through my hair…the money in Junsu’s account is not enough for the long treatment he should take after the operation…what should I do? Then, another thought came to me…who is that person?...could it be that…the person that Junsu gave the money to is… my sister? He don’t take walks alone and don’t talk to people that much to have new friends anyway…and he said he met that person in the hospital… if it is true…he sure asked them not to tell me anything…This is the only explanation to that sudden fly to America…Junsu-ya…is the one who gave my sister the money…Sunie didn’t gather that much for her own and just lied to me because he told her to…what can I do about you, Junsu-ya? You’re having problems with your family now because of me…and you don’t have enough money for the after treatment because of me…I should have known before…I picked up my phone,

“Eonie, hello…did you arrive safely?”

“Jaejoongie! Yes dear, we are safe and happy. We are going to see the doctor tomorrow. How are you? And how is Junsu-ya?”

“We are fine eonie…How is Jinie?”

“She is fine…sending you a hug”

“Kiss her for me please and tell her that I love her so much”

“deal…”

“Sis…I want to ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth please”

“What is it Jongie?”

“The money for Jinie’s operation…You got it from Junsu, isn’t it?”

“uh?!...umm....why this sudden question Jaejoongie?”

“please answer me…” A long moment of silence…I already knew the answer

“…yes…sorry”

“He asked you not to tell me, didn’t he?”

“yes…and I broke my promise. Don’t tell him you knew Jaejoongie. He doesn’t want you to”

“Did he make those puppy eyes so that you accept?” I said playfully, surrendering

“He made them to Amma. I think it worked…How come you know about everything that happens?”

“Junsu-ya…is a horrible liar…that’s all”

“But that time…you knew about what Soukjin told him before even he gets up”

“he was talking when he was unconscious…that’s how I knew”

“ah…I see. Is he going to have his operation soon?”

“yes…the sooner the better”

“Then I should call him before…and wish you good luck as well”

“Thanks…take good care of Jinie please”

“of course”

I let my lungs have a big amount of air…What should I do now?...I composed another number,

“hey…”

“Jaejoongie!! You called me…that’s fantastic! How are you my love?”

“Why do you get all excited Boss? You know that I don’t call you to hear your melodic voice”

“Don’t be so rude Jaejoongie…you know I love you so much”

“Then I have good news for you…”

“You have accepted to be my boyfriend?”

“No…not that…but…if you prepared the money I asked for…I will allow you that fairy night you dream of”

“Really?!! When do you want it? Tonight?”

“ Tomorrow would be perfect…you know…time to prepare…”

“Wow! You gave me chills! I would make you live the best night of your life! trust me, love”

“See you at 10 pm tomorrow then, okay?”

“Yes baby…looking forward to it”

“Goodbye then…”

“Good bye my heavens, love you!”

I put my phone on the car seat and shut my eyes strongly…this is disgusting…I feel like I need a shower right now…but…I had to do it anyway…I know that I may not survive it but I should do it…it was for Jinie…and now, it would be for Junsu…or maybe still for Jinie because if he didn’t help her, he would have enough money…Jaejoong! Be strong…one hour…and all of it would be just like a dream…a bad dream you will forget about…I feel dirty…I need to see Junsu…he is the one that makes me feel pure, so I drove my car and came back to the hospital,

“Junsu-ya?” I called as I opened the door of his room, but he was not there. I picked up my phone and called him,

“Jaejoong-ah…” It was the voice of his doctor,

“ah doctor! Is Junsu with you? Is everything alright?”

“He is with me…I took him for a walk because he was feeling bored”

“where are you now?”

“In the garden behind the hospital…he is playing with some kids”

“playing?...with some kids?...” I felt a smile on my face…

I saw the doctor waving to me beside a tree. I greeted him and looked around,

“there!” he said, knowing I was searching for Junsu. He was sitting in the ground playing with two girls and a boy. One of the girls dropped her hair band and came to him handing the rose fluffy thing,

“My hair…it is not pretty anymore” she said

“oh no…come, I’ll fix it for you” He smiled. I love his smile…it is so bright…he sat the little girl on his laps and began fixing her long blond hair. I approached them, chuckling,

“You’ll be a great daddy”

He looked at me, surprised, then smiled, “From when did you come back hyung?”

“just a while ago…”

“here you are…pretty and cute” He said at the little girl, her soft hair

“thank you uncle” she got up jumping and joined the two other that were playing and running around.

“be careful…” he called her. I sat in front of him and couldn’t stop giggling,

“So daddy, You don’t listen to you doctor and get out of your room without permission”

“I have another doctor that gave me permission hyung” he teased

The concerned man stood next to us and handed Junsu his cell phone,

“here you are Junsu-ya, now that Jaejoong came, I’ll go”

“Ok doc…see you”

“Be careful Su-ah”

“kay…”

I stared at the shadow of the doctor disappearing and turned to Junsu,

“So…you made new friends?”

“The children? Yeah…they are so cute”

I caressed his cheek, “Aren’t you feeling tired?”

“no…I feel good”

I slid my left hand from his cheek to take his right arm and pull him toward me, “come…”

He is so light; his body just swung so easily toward mine. I adjusted our position a little bit so that I have the weight of his back on my chest and hugged him tightly. He, sure, was surprised. He titled his head to look at me and smiled,

“Did you miss me that much, hyung?”

I just nodded, closing my eyes and sniffing that delicious sent he always had on him.

“Hyungie…you know…this is one weird pose we are doing now…we look like two lovers or something”

I chuckled, “aren’t we two lovers Junsu-ya?...I love you and you love me, don’t you? And lover is taken from the word love, isn’t it?”

He chuckled at my explanation, “I mean…like a couple or something, hyung. Don’t make yourself stupid”

“Aren’t we a couple Junsu-ya. If you look up the word couple in a dictionary, you’ll find that…”

“That’s it hyung!” he interrupted me, “I don’t care…look at me”

I opened my eyes and lifted my head from his shoulder; his expression was soft…and he was too close,

“What’s wrong hyung? Tell me…what is making you feel that bad?”

“Should I feel bad to hug you?” he smiled,

“I can feel you hyung…what’s wrong?”

I stared into his eyes for a long time…I wished I could get closed to him, but I didn’t want to scare him,

“I don’t know Junsu-ya…”

“It is because of me, isn’t it?”

“no…why would it be because of you?”

“The way you look at me hyung…” I felt his hand on my face, it gently as he continued,

“I know I do a lot of things that you don’t want me to do…and I know I don’t try my best to overcome my skin-ship fear even if I never allowed someone to be that close to me. I see how this feeling of sadness is drawn on your face because every time you get too close to me I shiver…even if I am not scared of you…but…and I know that my health is really deteriorated and that you are afraid that the operation doesn’t go smoothly and I refused to be surrounded by all sort of machines though I should be…I am sorry”

“It is not that Junsu-ya” I leaned to lock our foreheads together, “You’re doing great…really”

I felt him driving his head to the side, maybe he was uncomfortable with that over-closeness, or maybe he just wanted to hug me, because he warped his arms around me and began my hair kindly…I felt that I wanted to stay like this and just sleep in his arms…I wonder…if he feels that good when I try to comfort him too,

“If you don’t want to talk about it, hyung, it is okay…everything would be fine, you’ll find a solution”

Junsu-ya…you’re really doing great…

                         *******************************************

As Junsu laid his body on his bed, he patted the spot next to him,

“Hyung…you should sleep properly. Come sleep beside me today”

“I should continue working baby”

He looked disappointed, “But you didn’t sleep much for the past days…do you want to sleep in the surgery room or what?  It is my life doctor”

I laughed, maybe he was right. I feel so tired, “ok then…I’ll sleep”

“next to me…” he added, smiling.

I lifted the blanked and got into the bed, luckily that bed was large enough. Junsu waited for me to settle before he put his hand on my hair and caressed it,

“You’re being so kind Junsu-ya” I

“It will help you to sleep without too much thinking…hopefully”

I took that hand and kissed it, “I should have done something really good in my past life to have you, Junsu-ya”

“Then I should have done something better hyung”

Junsu’s POV:

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself hugging my elephant plushy; Jaejoong hyung already got up…maybe a while ago. He left me a little note; I picked it and read it; he went to buy breakfast. I was heading to the bathroom when my phone rang; it seems that I got a message. It is a message…from Boss? Who is that?! I looked carefully at the background picture; this is not mine! It is Jaejoong hyung phone…he sure took the wrong phone because we both have the same black galaxy brand. I put down the material…but I felt an urge to read that text…I have a weird feeling that I should read that text…what does that big head wants from Jaejoong hyung anyway? I took the phone again…should I read Jaejoong hyung messages? Do I have the right to? I put down the phone again…no I don’t have the right to…what if Jaejoong hyung was in danger or something?...No…Why am I being that stupid?! He lived with those people for years…I have a bad feeling though…I opened the message;

Good morning Love,

You’re doing great, don’t you? I don’t want you to come to my home tonight…this is our first honey night and my home is not a suitable place…I’ll wait for you at Palms Hotel. I got a suit there…just for the two of us…for the rest of the day…I’ll dream of your perfect lips and your divine body…I also prepared the amount you asked for…and I added a little gift too

love you J

My heart stopped at the moment…I dropped the phone in the ground and my legs betrayed me just after…I looked at that thing lying in the ground in front of me, horrified…what was Jaejoong hyung doing? Why?!! The money…is that its price? He will die just like eonie died…I will lose him just like I lost eonie…All those horrible images came to me again…like if I was living the same terrible experience again…I locked my head with my two hands and screamed…No! No! Why are you doing that hyung?!! You don’t need that money anymore so why?!...I looked at my laps…my pants were filed with tears…I was crying…how long have I been here? I picked the phone, but it felt from my hands…they were trembling severely….I picked it up again and marked the message as unread. I put the cell phone on the table where it was before and got up…my legs…they are too heavy…Am I losing my ability to walk? I brought my self to walk until the bathroom and closed the door behind me…letting my body slid to the ground…I will lose him…like eonie…just like eonie….Why is my vision becoming that dark?...Am I dying?...

“I want to transfer the money to another account, so that you won’t have problems”

“Is that so?…dad will be so mad you know…”

“I know, but you have to do this operation and you need to pay for your treatment after…it is quite expensive. We can explain to your father after, nee?”

I blinked…I can see the white walls of the bathroom…Would the reason be that…the money left in my account is not sufficient? Is the treatment that expensive?...I remember that the doctors told me I can’t be cured…so…Even if Jaejoong hyung found a solution…it would be long and expensive…Hyung…wanted the money for Jinie nuna…did he knew that I…? Is he feeling guilty…? Can’t we find another solution? Can’t I just die before the operation?...Don’t do that…hyung…don’t do that…I began coughing…my heart hurts…it hurts…I looked at my hand…there are some blood drops…yes Junsu…just die now and allow the world to rest in peace…die…please…

“Junsu-ya! I came back…” I heard Jaejoong hyung calling me…don’t come now heyung…don’t…I reached for the faucet and turned in on…I hope the noise of water will cover my coughs…

“Are you taking a shower, Junsu-ya?”

I gathered all what was left in my strength to say a normal “yes”

“Ok then, don’t stay too long so that you don’t hurt yourself, ok?”

I murmured an “ummm” and held my chest tight. I covered my mouth with my arm and bit on it as I began sobbing from a double pain…my physical heart hurts…and my heart hurts too…Can I save you hyung…without dying? Because…for the first time in my life…I…want to live…I desperately want to live…I want to live with you…I don’t know what I am doing, but I reached for the locker and opened the door…

Jaejoong POV

“Hyung! Hyung!” I heard Junsu crying and I turned automatically…Oh my God! I ran to him and picked him up in my arms to put him in his bed and provide him with extra oxygen at first; he wasn’t breathing properly…how did this happen? His condition…shouldn’t worsen that much all of a sudden. I just left him sleeping peacefully and now…he is dying from pain and trembling hysterically…

“Junsu-ya! Junsu…calm down…calm down please…I am here…it is ok” I tried to reassure him though I needed to be reassured myself.

When I was preparing the shot I should give him in such state, I realized that I was trembling myself…Damn! What is happening to me? I am a doctor! I should calm down…calm down jaejoong…everything will be fine…I hope…

“It is alright now Jae-ah” the doctor pated my shoulder. I looked at him desperately,

“Why is this happening?...why the hell the materials I need take so long to arrive? Why his condition is worsening that quickly?...why?”

I touched the glass window that separates us from the emergency room where Junsu was lying, staring at him, “I feel so weak…so weak”

I felt tears filling my face and didn’t have the strength to hold them back…it is just too much for me to handle…Junsu’s doctor hugged me, trying to make me cool down, but instead…I busted out sobbing,

“I want him to live…I…w-want him to live”

“I know…I know…it is okay. He is fine now…and the materials would be in Seoul tomorrow. Don’t worry Jae-ah. Everything will be fine; trust me”

                                  **********************************

When Junsu opened his eyes and looked at me, I felt like if I won a lottery…I felt like crying when I felt him squeezing my hand that was holding his…I rained his hand of kisses…I was so happy…so happy,

“Susu-ah…how are you feeling?”

“…sorry”

“No…you don’t have to be sorry…I am the one who should be…”

He took a big hard breathe, “Hyung…I don’t…want to lose you too”

“who said you will Junsu-ya? You won’t”

“don’t make me…lose you please”

“Don’t worry…you’re not going to lose me”

He took another painful breath, “What time is it hyung?”

“It is 6 pm. You can go back to sleep if you want”

“Will you stay with me?” I felt his hand holding mine strongly…it wasn’t a question…he was pleading me. I sighed…I should go, but I can’t resist him when he asks me like that,

“nee Junsu-ya…I’ll stay with you”

“all night?...You are not going to leave me when I sleep?”

“No…you can rest”

“Hyung…if you leave, I’m going to die…”

“I won’t; I promise. Trust me”

“You know I hate this place…”

He was really scared…but he knew he can’t get out of the ER now. I caressed his hair and kissed his forehead, “I am not leaving you for a second; not going to the toilets either, ok?”

He smiled at me and nodded, closing his eyes again…I certainly can’t go and leave him alone…I waited for him to sleep to call my…boss and I tried to keep my voice as low as I could,

“Hi sweety…are you that excited?” he answered almost automatically…I hate it!

“Can you come to the hospital please”

“Why are you speaking that low?”

“I am in the ER…can you come?”

“Of course jagiya. I am coming right away”

“Thanks”

                                ***************************************

When he came, I explained to him how to find me and he did. I opened the ER door and looked at him,

“Hi”

“You can’t come, can you?” he said as a matter of fact

“No…sorry…can we delay it?”

He put his hands on his pockets and looked through the glass,

“I understand that you are a doctor. Your patients’ life is more important than anything else. You just call me when he gets better”

I wasn’t expecting such comprehension! Maybe that is why I smiled,

“This is the first sincere smile you have ever given me Jaejoong” he said, as a matter of fact again,

“You love your job so much, don’t you?”

“yes…losing a patient…is the hardest thing for a doctor”…but that was Junsu…

“How did his condition got that bad? He seemed fine that day”

“I don’t know either. It shouldn’t be that way…maybe I ignored something”

“The money…I never asked you but…what do you need it for?”

“my sister’s operation…she has cancer” I don’t know why I spoke so sincerely…maybe at this moment…I was so vulnerable that I couldn’t even be as cold as I am normally with my boss…He seemed surprised too…

“ is that so?!!”

“What did you think of? To play lottery?”

“You didn’t tell him?”

“No…but he knew”

“He didn’t help you?”

“He did…without even telling me…”

“and?...”

“at least you know that I don’t want to do it…with you”

“Yes I know…I am just playing the blind man”

“mmm…”

“Why do you need the money when your little friend has done the job? Can’t you accept it from him?”

“No…not that…the money he paid for my sister…was for his own treatment”

I saw his jaw dropping in surprise, so I continued…not knowing why I was telling him all that anyway,

“You can imagine how I felt when I knew…and now…his condition is really bad and he needs that operation as soon as possible…”

“Wow…Oh! Holy !”

“He…felt he needs to do that…because I helped him that day…and with his disease too”

“and you feel so guilty now, don’t you?”

“yes…I don’t even imagine how I can  live if something happens to him”

“I see…”

I heard Junsu moving in his bed and I quickly got in, forgetting about the man in front of me. I held his hand massaging it,

“Junsu-ya? Do you feel any pain?”

he looked at me with blaming eyes, “where were you?”

“Just at the door Junsu-ya…I swear I didn’t leave you for a second”

He stared at the door for some time, and turned to me,

“who is there?...your boss?”

“uh?...yes”

“What does he want?”

“Nothing…he just came to check on me because I didn’t come back to the quarter for quite a time”

“hyung…can you bring me some water…I feel thirsty”

“I’ll ask a nurse to bring it, ok?”

“no…want you to bring it…and my plushy too”

“Your plushy?! Is it fine if I leave you?”

“I want my plushy…but I want you to come back soon”

“ok…” Now I don’t understand a thing…is he still under the drugs effect and just hallucinating?

“come back soon, ok?”

“of course Junsu-ya…I’ll be back soon”

I exited the room and looked at my boss, “I will be here soon”

“Of course” He simply said. He seemed to be spacy…but I didn’t care much

Junsu POV

I lifted my hand and made a sign to the boss to come. I know he was looking at me. He turned to his sides, but there was only him, so he entered carefully,

“You asked me to come?!” he asked, surprised. I nodded,

“ Can you listen to the last plead of a death person?”

“What?! Should I call Jaejoong? Are you suffering?”

“he can’t do anything. Please listen to me”

“ok…”

“I lost my sister…years ago…because she was to death…please…spare Jaejoong that punishment…I will not live anyway…it is too late…I don’t want him to…do…that…for me…please”

The Boss POV

I was stunned…so he knew about what Jaejoong wanted to do…and he is now begging me to leave him alone because he knows that he will not survive…so that Jaejoong won’t get a double shock…I listened as he continued,

“I tried…to let myself die today…but I couldn’t…because…hyung…wanted me to live so badly…and…because…for the first time…I wanted to live too…he gave me hope…I don’t want him to lose it…I don’t want him to be sad…please…if you love him just a little…don’t bring him to do something he doesn’t want to…that will hurt him so much…if not…just for me…can you do it…for a person who is telling you a last wish?”

He was crying…real tears…and begging me…I had to think again…do I really love Jaejoong? Or just want him? This boy…he sure loved Jaejoong…this is true love…and…I am literally being a monster…it is crystal clear…I felt…for the first time…that my human heart was shaken and woken up…death…is the most fighting thought for a human being…however…this boy was not thinking about himself at this moment…even though knowing he won’t survive, he still thinks of Jaejoong…I took his hand, I don’t know what was happening to me…

“I will listen to your wish…I promise…don’t worry…but you have to promise me something too and respond to a question”

“You can ask whatever you want” and I think that he really meant it

“Who is Jaejoong for you?”

“hyung?...he is…my everything…”

“Then…promise me you will hold on… if not for yourself…for Jaejoong”

He smiled at me…his smile is cute and sincere…If I had to stare at him for a long time, maybe I would be addicted to his smile, 

“I promise you Sir”

I left the hospital and sat on my car…I really had to rethink my life back…I was only running from the truth…I know…that the path I took was wrong…it seemed to be happy, but it is not…I was only hiding…not wanting to face the reality…but now I have to…

Jaejoong POV 

I don’t know where he went…I didn’t find him in front of the ER. I shrug my shoulders and entered…why do I care anyway?

“here is your plushy…happy now?” I put the doll beside Junsu

“mm…” he just looked at it, satisfied…a little too much?

“and here is the water…come on, I’ll help you sit down”

I pushed the button to lift the upper part of the bed a little,

“Are you feeling comfortable?”

“yeah...”

I sat on the side of the bed beside him and helped him to drink,

“It is not easy to drink with this…can’t I take it off?” he said, pointing at his oxygen cannula

“No, Susu-ah. You have to do with it” I smiled at him, trying to make it less dramatic

“ok…”

“I am sorry Susu-ah”

“It is okay” he pouted.

                                       *********************************

Junsu got better the next day…a little better, but his new tests are telling bad news…one single slight shock, and I will lose him forever. Thus, I tried my best to prevent a meeting with his parents. His father came to the hospital all angry. Luckily, I was able to send him away without a disaster. Tonight, though, I should go to the hotel and do what I have to do. I don’t even know how many times I warned his doctor to look after him. I will try to get back soon…

I found my boss waiting for me in his expensive suit. He sat on a couch and just looked at me,

“I came…as I promised” I simply said

“and I prepared you what you asked for too” he pointed at a bag beside him

“then shall we end this as soon as possible? I have to go back to the hospital”

“yes…of course”

He patted the place next to him and I sat down. I feel dizzy and all uncomfortable…even this expensive sofa is not comfy…couldn’t I find any other solution?...I thought about many things…However, nothing will work as fast and sure as this. I lost hope in the rich family…the probability of their help was clearly zero…and I can’t delay the treatment by a second…I need that bag of money and now…that’s it

“Jaejoongie…that day, I spoke to that boy”

“Who?! Junsu?!” I was frightened

“his name is Junsu? People should call him Su or Susu instead…it suits him better. He is so cute by the way…how old is he?”

“Boss…you are scaring me…don’t tell me you put your eyes on him”

He laughed bitterly, “No…he is too good for me…so as you”

“But you have put your eyes on me”

“He is different…just too innocent for me”

“What did you speak about?”

“He asked me to listen…to his last wish”

“What?!!!” I got up, shocked and scared, “how…his last wish?!!”

“Jaejoongie…he is not feeling fine at all. He is just holding on to a tiny hope. It is his body…he feels what is going on inside better than anyone else”

“No!...it is true that…he is in a very critical state…I know he suffers too much and he hides it…I know that he have a lot of troubles breathing lately…I know he…sometimes can’t walk properly…I know that when he jokes and asks me to pick him up until his room that…he actually feels unable to walk…I know…but his disease can be cured…and the chances are high…I can do it! You even don’t understand! Don’t tell me his last wish…I can make that surgery successful just leave him alone!”

I stopped, knowing that I was shouting and feeling that my eyes became watery and my face all red,

“just let’s do this quickly and let me get back to my work” I said calmly, patting my hot cheeks…why am I acting this way?...afraid…yes I am afraid…to death

“Jaejoongie…I hope you can save his life…I really do…but I will grant him his wish anyway”

“and what it is it? His wish?”

“He told me not to touch you…and I will not”

I blinked few times, token aback. The boss stood up, and took the bag

“Junsu…made me realize many things…so many things…and I am thankful to him”

He put the bag beside me and looked at me, smiling,

“You can take it…please take good care of him and do your best…I don’t want anything else”

My brain took some seconds to understand what was happening…I stared at the bag and at him again,

“Is that really you?!”

“Maybe…why? Can you fall in love with that new me?”

“so he knew…that’s why his state worsened…that’s why he asked me not to leave him that day…he asked me to go to his room so he can talk to you, isn’t it? He was feeling…that he was dying all the time, isn’t it?”

I can’t take it anymore or imagine anything anymore…my knees, are so weak…I can fall at any moment…I felt my breathing getting so uneven…were all the tests and calculations I have done so wrong? Did I underestimate his disease…Is there no hope?...at all? I began sobbing, tears aren’t stopping and I can’t stop them…I feel ‘good at nothing’…I need many things for that operation and I prepared so much…but…neither the materials I asked for are available yet, nor the doctors are here…they will be here tomorrow, but could Junsu hold on until tomorrow?...will I just lose him like that?!

I felt the man in front of me shaking my shoulders violently,

“Jaejoong! It is not time for you to be weak! Not time to lose your strength! You can do it and you should! You have given him hope, so don’t make him regret that he trusted you!”

“I feel so… so handicapped. I tried not to look at the dark side, but…I just lied to myself”

“No you didn’t! You were optimistic and you should be like this until the end…Do you want him to live or not?”

“I do”

“So do your job as a doctor and don’t give up…and do your job as Jaejoong and don’t let him down…if you love him, you should regain your strength now and make him feel stronger too. It is not easy for him…I know that it is not easy for you either, but…you are his only hope…don’t prevent him from that only hope, ok?”

I nodded, wiping my tears,

“That’s my Jaejoong…that’s how I know you…go until the end, ok?”

I nodded again and accepted the hug that came just after. I never hugged that horrible gang leader before, but…he doesn’t feel the same anymore…he has really changed…in just one day…how unbelievable…and now, he is encouraging me and making me feel better…like a real friend…we withdrew and I thanked him…from the bottom of my heart,

“So that’s what makes you smile that happily and sincerely…I should have known before” he teased me…or maybe he admitted his wrong methods.

I just smiled, almost laughing at my current vulnerable state…my phone is ringing and my heart jumped at its sound…

“Jae-ah!” It is Junsu’s doctor

“ What h-happened?”

“Jae…the machines you asked for are here…we are preparing the surgery room”

“really?!!” I almost began giggling in joy

“Can we do that operation today Jae-ah?”

“Why? What is it?”

“Jae…it is getting very bad…I don’t think Junsu can take it any longer…He can’t survive until those doctors arrive…You should come quickly”

“Tell me what is happening! He was stable just before I leave” I need air…air…I can’t imagine any bad things…I am too scared

“I tried to make it less painful but nothing is working…he didn’t stop crying for quite a time and…his fever is getting so high and it is not going down either…his blood pressure is getting down and I can’t raise it by any means…please come quickly and let us do this surgery…we can do it…please I can’t watch him suffering like this anymore…”

“Prepare everything for the surgery, and bring the best staff you know. We don’t have the right to make any mistakes. I am coming right away”

When the call ended, Boss took his car keys and landed me my coat,

“I will drive you there…you know I drive so fast and so smoothly”

“Thanks” I simply said and followed him.

Cheer up for our genuis doctor  and pray fro Su-ah please :)