Hello everyone ^^
Was a long time...I know :( sorry again for keeping you waiting...I run out of words again :O maybe it would be obvious in this chapter.

Ok! you'll get some answers, and the next chapter you will have the second part of the answers :P be patient please ^^

It is rather a fragmented chapter with lot of events and less description....hope you'll like it, and as always...enjoy ;)

Junsu was deeply asleep as if nothing has happened during the day. Jaejoong smiled at the view in front of him and returned to study the papers. The data were a little bit old but it is still useful to look at them to better understand Junsu’s disease…

The door opened slowly, and the silhouette of  a tall man coughed Jaejoong attention,

“Doctor?”

“Are you still awake Jaejoong-ah?” says the doctor as he approached the other man

“yeah…still not finish all of them yet”

“but you should have some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day”

“I know…did you find a way to book me the scanner room?”

“of course I did; a MRI scanner as you asked. You can rely on me on these things”

“Thanks…a lot doctor”

“My duty…and ah, tomorrow morning I will be giving you a pass and a suit, so that you can use everything here as a doctor”

“Really?! That fast?!”

“The hardest things are legal things not the illegal ones”

“Don’t say it like that…we sound like criminals” chuckled Jaejoong

“to say the truth…we are…but in a good way and with good intentions” teased the older doctor

                                   *******************************

“…Today?” Junsu’s word was so insure, “does it have to be today hyungie?” he asked in a last try as he put his juice on the little table in front of him

“Junsu-ya, you have to do it as soon as possible…please…I’ll be with you all the time. You have nothing to worry about” Jaejoong tried to reassure the smaller man.

“but hyungie…even if you will be with me…you cannot stop my mind from making me remember what I don’t want to remember” Junsu said hopelessly, “and…after all…they said that there is no chance for me to be healed…”

“They are not as good as me, that’s why! I studied every part of your file yesterday, and I can swear to you that there is a hope…a big one…so…” Jaejoong inclined his head to look at Junsu’s face as he smiled surely, “…can you trust me?”

Junsu thought hesitantly for some seconds, then he sighed, “you are so pushy hyung”

“and you are so cute when you pout” teased Jaejoong as he pinched the smaller man cheeks.

“aieee…hyung!”

Jaejoong laughed loudly, “come on! You will see…it is not bad at all”

“so pushy…hyungie…then you should do something for me”

Jaejoong blinked in a little surprise, “something?...” then he smiled, “ok…what do you want?”

“you have to pick back me all the way to the scanner room” Junsu smiled widely

“uh…?! Pick back you all the way?...”

                     *********************************

The doctor turned as the two men entered the room,

“Good morning! Junsu-ya, did you sleep well”

“Good morning doctor…I knew you were with hyung in this”

“Of course Su! So, Jaejoong…how could you let him walk all the way to here?! He is still tired, you could have used something!”

“Yes I used something doctor”

“Like?” The tall man searched around Junsu’s body

“My back doc…this boy gave me a punishment”

Junsu chuckled, “it wasn’t a punishment! You liked it hyungie!”

“Yeah?! Who would like to pick back someone all the way to here?”

“You liked it! Don’t lie! And you said you could walk like that to China because I am so light”

“Yes I can…but that does not mean I liked it”

“You big fat liar!” Junsu pouted, “I know you liked it…say whatever you want! I am sure!”

Jaejoong pinched his cheeks again, “aieeee! Stop it!”

“but you are just so cute when you pout…I can’t stop myself” Jaejoong laughed

“Naughty hyung!” Junsu hit him

The older doctor stood unmoving for some time, then he sighed “wow! Junsu?! I’ve never seen you reacting like this with someone…what a big change!” He laughed, and Junsu just smiled in response.

Jaejoong rubbed the hited spot on his shoulder, “So…is everything ready?”

“Yes, no nurses, no doctors, just one physician, you and me”

“Good…where is the examination robe?” The doctor walked at the corner of the room to get the fabric, and Junsu exclaimed, “ah! I didn’t know you made this room private for me!”

“You will feel more comfortable without a lot of people with white suits, isn’t it?”

“that’s why you aren’t wearing one either?” he asked as he sat down on a little chair

“the last thing I want is that you got scared of me Junsu-ya” said Jaejoong playfully as he opened the plastic bag that the doctor have given him.

The smaller man giggled, “even with a white suit, I won’t be scared of you hyungie”

“That’s reassuring” Jaejoong smiled, “Then…let’s change your cloths!...and mine too”

“Ok, I will change my cloths, go change yours sensei…see ya” emphasized Junsu as he took the examination cloths from the eldest man. Jaejoong laughed loudly again, and ruffled his friend’s hair,

“Ok, my brave Su who has grown up so fast! I’ll be here in 2 minutes”

“Jaejoong? (asked the doctor) did you already give him a  gadolinium injection or would it be during the test?”

“ no need for it…I don’t need a contrast material for this examination”

“Okay…as you like”

“Thanks God!” Junsu sighed in relieve.

Junsu’s point of view

This thing is so ugly…why should I wear something like this? Can’t I just do the examination without it? I looked at the mirror in front of me again…it looks like if I was wearing a dress…and a short one! I hate showing my legs like that! Ahhh…there is nothing good about hospitals…at all…

Jaejoong hyung knocked at the door and opened it, “have you finished?” he asked…he was looking exetremly handsome in his new suit…he really looks like a doctor right now….”yeh…” I said quietly. Jaejoong hyung smiled evilly as he land his back to the wall, “you are an extremely shy little boy Junsu-ya…I knew you won’t like it but…being so uncomfortable that all your face is turning red…that’s another thing” and he laughed. I felt my cheeks burning, and I couldn’t stop myself from shouting at him,

“Jaejoong hyung! I hate what I am wearing now, and if you say another word I will just throw it and return to my room! no test would be done!”

“But baby you can’t just do this” he smiled, “As I know you shouldn’t be wearing anything under this…so unless you can walk necked to you room, you just can’t escape”

“HYUNG! (but he laughed harder) who would forbid me to wear my previous cloths? Why are you so…?!”

“me…”

Now I felt all my body burning in frustration, I picked up the first thing my hand reached-don’t even know what it was - and throw it at him, then the second thing, and a third one, “ Naughty hyung! Bad hyung! ert hyung!”

“Aie! Ok, ok, calm down, I was just joking”

“I will not take any other examination…no one!”

 Jaejoong hyung face softened from the evil look; it was funny, but I kept pouting,

“Junsu-ya…please…you can’t do this to me…(he took my hands in his) you can give me a  lighter punishment, don’t you?”

“nope…”

“please…”

Seeing those cute faces he was making was fun, so I just took my time to think of a punishment,

“then you have to pick back me to my room again, then you should buy me a big cup of hot chocolate, and I don’t want to stay at the hospital for a long time”

“ok…deal…you little devil!” He ruffled my hair again, and I could finally laugh at all his faces.

                                     ******************************

We entred the MRI scanner room; it was empty and cold, and that scanner looked like a tunnel. One of the walls included a big window, from which I could see my doctor waving at me behind a set of screens…why did I even accept to come here?...Jaejoong hyung took my hand and lead me closer to the big scanner; he patted what seemed to me like a chirurgical bed; this thing was meant to drive me inside the scanner. I stood still for some seconds; this bed reminds me of…

“Junsu!” I woke up from my day dreaming before even beginning it, “this is not the same bed. This is a scanner room not an emergency room”

I sighed; how could he know exactly what my mind was drawing to me?

“Don’t think about anything else…try to stay focused; you are in a scanner room, and the only person here is me, okay?”

“I’ll try hyung…”

He smiled. Still holding my hand, he squeezed it, “ok…let’s try”

I lied down on the examination table and let hyung adjust the materials, hoping I won’t see any images from the past…Jaejoong hyung started explaining to me what the procedure would be like,

“The examination includes multiple runs; they will last some minutes. There will be a pause between them and I will tell you; so you can adjust your position if you feel tired. Okay?”

“ok…would it be long?”

“Not really, I’ll try to make it as short as possible”

He laid his hand on my chest and chuckled, “Your heart beats so fast, relax”

“trying hyung…but nothing is relaxing here”

“I know…stay strong for a little while, okay?”

“ok…”

“I’ll be leaving this room to the computer workstation in front of you, but we can talk to each other. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, you can tell me; I’ll come to you right away, okay?”

“okay…”

“You will feel your chest slightly warm; it is fine. And you may hear some noises at the beginning of each run; don’t panic…it is just the he scanner singing, but he have a bad voice”

I giggled at his joke, “He will be so angry at you”

“No…he knows it, yet he continues on singing…Can I push the button now?”

“yeah…”

“bye, bye…happy sliding”

I heard him exiting the room…then heard him telling me that the first run will begin and then if I am feeling okay…the sound was brief, and a first light passed through my body…I tried to breath evenly as I repeated to myself that this is a scanner room and that Jaejoong hyung was just in front of me, my doctor too was there, “Happy thoughts…happy thoughts”

“Great! Good job Su-ah…the first run ended, you can move a little if you want” I heard Jaejoong hyung telling me…it wasn’t that long, but it was only the first one…I relaxed.

Jaejoong point of view:

“You could just have used sedation” The doctor told me.

“No…I want him to overcome his fear; he is doing really well until now…I didn’t expect him to be that calm…I hope he won’t have his anxiety soon”

“just keep talking to him so that he won’t think of other things”

I nodded…this is the only way; I pushed the interaction button,

“Junsu-ya…the second run will begin, did you like the scanner song?”

“it is so noisy hyung”

I laughed, “if you had to give a grade?”

“2 out of 10”

“oh! You are so hard…be nice, that can’t be that bad”

“it is hyung…I should have brought my iphone”

“What kind of songs do you like?”

“ehh…anything that have a meaning and a good harmony”

“tell me a song that you like”

“ehh…would you sing it to me?”

“if I know the lyrics…”

“…I have a lover”

“ I know it”

“Then sing it to me…”

“Just a part of it”

“just sing hyung…whatever”

“kay…why are you so impatient? But you have to sing along with me”

“I can’t…I am inside this thing”

“but I can hear you”

“No…you sing alone”

“ok…”

               **********************************

“Junsu-ya…the test ended, bravo! I’ll come now to get you out from there, ok?”

“quickly…”

The table was moving slowly until it was completely out of the circular magnet. Junsu got up as fast as he can to sit down, breathing quickly. I patted his back,

“everything is done now…you are a hero! I am amazed; I didn’t expect you to last to the end”

“neither me hyung…”

Even though he was as calm as he can, I could feel that I made him go through a painful experience; I know that he remembered a lot of bad things there, yet he managed to stay strong,

“Can I have a hug from my hero?” I told him playfully, and he didn’t wait a second to hug me tightly; I knew he needed it more than I do, but I felt relieved because the past didn’t interfere that much in our relation.

                                      *******************************

I entered the dark room, there was a little table, behind which the man I came to see was sitting. I pulled back the chair and sat down,

“Hello…” the man murmured, “…son”

“Do you like your life here?” I asked calmly. The man smirked,

“Are you kidding Jaejoong? You don’t know how life in jail seems like”

“Is it worse that what you have done?”

“…did you come to blame me Jaejoong?”

“No…the two of us know how awful your crime was, no discussion on that…but, I came to have some answers”

“Jaejoong…who would say that we were, at a certain time, a father and a son…look at how you are treating me now…”

“Were you expecting something else?”

“maybe…I still your father Jaejoong…you can’t just deny it”

“I don’t have to deny anything father…I am not the one who did what you did, and I a am living my life as I want”

“how is Sunie?”

“better…”

“I see…what do you want to know Jaejoong?”

“why did you kill that girl?”

“you never thought of asking me so before…”

“and if I wasn’t obliged…I wouldn’t…it is an awful crime as I already said”

“it was a war…between Lee and me…he did things, and I just took revenge”

“what did he do?”

“why are you asking?”

“because I want this to end…no more wars…I am sick of it”

“This bastard did something to you, isn’t it?”

“would you answer me, yes or no?”

“me and Lee were friends…college days…the good days…we dreamed the same dreams…and when we graduated, we built our first company…we shared almost everything…we had confidence in each other’s…but, one day, I discovered, that Lee was stealing the money, big amounts…and making deals with the mafia, and everything was in my name….so if  the police discovered anything…I would be the only responsible for all his dirty work…I told him that I knew, and he warned me…that if I delivered any information, he would destroy my life…he was making a fortune, so fast, and I was losing everything…little by little…I got angry…and I managed to cut the relation between him and the mafia he was working with…they got him and beat him badly…he came to me, smirking, and told me that everything I had gained, would be put in the hospital…he kidnapped Sunie, and injected her with an infecdted blood…she got cancer, a bad one…that was his revenge from me…he knew I loved her so much, because she is the only memory left from her mother…you know how much I loved her mother, and that I never forgot her, even after marrying your mother…I got crazy…I was scared…that she would just die like her mother…and leave me in the same depression again…I drunk so much…and an idea came to my mind…I will make him feel the same pain…he had only one girl, he loved her so much too…she was the perfect target…I called my men and ordered them to kidnap her as she exit the school…he knew I would think of doing it, so he send some body guards with her, but what he forgot about is that I can buy them like dolls…I had her, and a little boy, he was with her…and I drunk again…a lot…I was happy imagining how his face would be…then I heard that boy…he was crying endlessly, and his voice was annoying me…I grabbed him and lift him up…I told him to shut up…but he was crying even more…and then, that girl…she kicked me, so hard…and she told me to leave him alone…I got angry…and was drunk…and that look in her eyes…so courageous and so confident…she wasn’t scared, at all…I got mad…I dropped the boy and slapped her…but her look still the same…I kicked her again…the same look…then, I turned back…that boy was so scared and he couldn’t do the same for her…a great idea came…why not make Lee feel a double pain?...killing the girl, and leaving a precious memory with that little boy…and the rest…you already know it”

“Don’t you feel so monstrous, horrific, so horrible? You are speaking like if you are telling me a story…what’s that?! Don’t you feel awful as you speak?! Don’t you feel…?” I asked, irritated, and feeling so dirty

“Not really” he responded calmly, “it was kind of fun”

“FUN?!!! Fun?!!!” I stood up, boiling with anger, “What the hell is fun about that?!” I threw tha table that was between us in frustration, and cough his neck, “what’s fun about making two little children suffer, tell me?!! What’s fun about making Sunie suffer?!!! In what logic your ing brain works?!”

He smirked again, “you didn’t try it Jaejoongie…it is a pleasure you can’t deny if you taste it”

                                                            ********************

The police men took him to his block, his face full of red bruises…one officer handed me a cup of water,

“Calm down Jaejoong hyung” He said, worried. I lift my head from my knees to look at him and took the cup,

“Thank you Changmin” He sat down beside me,

“What happened?”

“don’t want to talk about it Min-ah”

“ok as you like”

I stood up, “I will go now Min-ah…thank you for everything”

I felt his hand touching my wrist as I walked, “if you need someone to talk to hyung, please know that I am ready to listen”

I smiled and patted his shoulder, “Thank you Changmin-ah, really”

“You’re welcome hyung…anytime”

 Junsu’s view

Jinie-nuna and Sunie-nuna came to my room. Jaejoong hyung told me they will come to keep me company as he have to go for a while. However, I felt so ashamed as they stood beside me; Sunie-nuna was using a moving chair, and this is because of my father…I didn’t know what I should say except for a “hi”, then Jinie-nuna began,

“Are you feeling better Junsu-ya?”

I nodded and murmured a little “…sorry about what happened…about the other nuna too”

“she was mistaken…she shouldn’t” she said firmly

“she was…only defending the ones she loves…she has the right to be suspicious about me”

“even though…”  then silence filled the room for some seconds,

“Junsu-ya…umm…” Sunie-nuna said, a little hesitated, then pushed her chair to get closer to my bed, where I was sitting, “I wanted to…” she handed me a photo, “…give you this”

I looked at the piece of paper; it was the photo we took at Sunie’s room yesterday, me and Jaejoong hyung family. I still stunned for a couple of seconds, then her voice waked me from my dazing state,

“I wanted you to know that…as Jaejoongie do, we too, consider you as part of the family, no matter what the past is…I…hope you still feel the same about us too”

The smile, I felt on my face, was one of the rarest figures I have ever felt. I was so grateful to her; she was an angel…saying this, in her state, wasn’t easy…at all…,

“I do nuna, Thank you so much…”

She smiled back at me and did not say anything else. Then, I remembered- I wanted to ask Jaejoong hyung something but couldn’t- However, now, I can ask her,

“Nuna…I was wondering…umm…Jaejoong hyung…umm…did he…fight with his sister…because of…” but I paused, unsure of what I should call what had happened,

“a little bit” Jini-nuna said calmly.

“was he…umm…really angry about it?”

“yes, he was…still…Sookjin was so offensive talking to him”

“but…this is because she was hurt in the first place, isn’t it?”

“uh?!...”

“Nuna…she was only defending her beloved ones…it is true that…my father…caused Sunie-nuna’s disease…I am sorry about it, but it is hard for her because she loves you…she is also afraid that Jaejoong hyung would be hurt…she can’t have confidence in me and I can understand that…I…”

“Junsu-ya…do you feel the same about Jaejoong? Can’t you trust him?”

I looked at her, shocked, then looked again at the photo. As I remember how I couldn’t tell him that I loved him too, I can’t tell…why did I do that?

“I…it is…I do…not…maybe because I…need him, or because he have done so much to me”

“didn’t you do something for us too?”

“uh….”

“Mom told me…”

“it is nothing compared to…” Then I looked to Sunie-nuna; she didn’t seem to understand. Jini-nuna knew I was wondering if she knows to and answered me, “she doesn’t…you don’t want to, do you?”

“No…”

“Now that you know who killed your sister, do you want to take it back?”

“No!” I said quickly, and she smiled,

“See? You are not a bad person, at all, it is not easy for you either, that’s why you deserve anything good…you are a true friend”

I smiled at her, “ Can you keep it a secret from Jaejoong hyung please?”

She winked at me and put her finger on , “deal…”

Sunie nuna laughed at Jinie’s reaction, “what are you talking about?” she becomes beautiful when she laughs, even with those marques of tiredness…I felt relieved…I –kind of- have a family now

No one’s point of view:

Jaejonng stopped sat down on the little sofa in front of the psychotherapist,

“You should be Jaejoong-shi. I am pleased to meet you”

“All the pleasure is mine Dr. Yoong. I can see that someone have already anticipated presentations”

“Yeah…I got a call from him today. He told me that you will come”

“quick doctor he is!”

“yes…”

“I know that I shouldn’t be asking you that, because it is a duty for the doctor to keep all the information about his patients’ secret. However, I need to know some things”

“It is true, but in case delivering the information will help in the treatment, I think I can tell you”

“Thank you”

“What do you like to drink, Jaejoong-shi?”

“Nothing, thank you…I should return to the hospital as soon as I can”

“but why not drinking while talking?”

“I’ll take a coffee then”

“As you want”

Yoong ordered some coffee for the two of them, then changed his seat to the one beside Jaejoong’s,

“I’ll be brief, I know you are busy. The first thing you may want to know, Jaejoong-shi, is that Junsu is not very tolerant about affectionate actions”

“affection?!”

“yes. He can accept some hugging, but nothing beyond that”

“I don’t think I understand doctor”

“I’ll explain to you. Have you ever taken a walk together?”

“yes, we have”

“in your way, did you pass by a couple?”

“ a couple?...I don’t think so”

“Then…a film advertisement figuring two lovers or something?”

“oh yes”

“did you notice any weird reaction from Junsu?”

“weird reaction?....ah!”

“They shouldn’t be putting those ugly pictures like that! Just like if they were doing something good”

“I was curious about what he said, but I didn’t asked him” continued Jaejoong.

“That was the best thing to do…Junsu is not stupid, but his mind does some pictures matching unconsciously. That’s to say, any action that the killer of his sister had done becomes in his unconscious mind a dirty action that he would, unfortunately, reject regardless of the person”

“which mean almost all forms of touching and kissing that that man had used…”

“Yes…and just to tell you, kisses are an awful thing for him. He won’t allow himself to kiss anyone, and vise-versa”

“That’s strange because…ah! I think that that man didn’t kiss her sister on her forehead, because he is tolerant about that”

“exactly…and didn’t hug her either; if he did, Junsu would look at it as a horrible thing like the others”

“If I understood correctly, Human interaction for Junsu depends on the memories he carries on about a set of actions. If the memory is good, he would see it as a good thing, and if it is bad, he would consider it as a bad thing. Even if his logic told him the contrary, he just won’t listen to it and won’t even know if he do or not”

“exactly Jaejoong-shi”

“and if a person happens to do something he sees as bad, what would be his reaction?”

“It depends on the person actually. If he loves that person, he may forgive the action, yet he will have a period of inexplicable fear from that person even if doesn’t want to. As the person gets closer to his intimate area, he may take some defensive actions, without even noticing”

“I see…thanks God I didn’t…”

“In your case, the period should be short Jaejoong-shi. Because the conscious Junsu would try to make the unconscious side of him more tolerant about you; he will try hard to convince himself that it wasn’t a harmful action, and he will probably succeed. He trusts you so much”

“I am happy about that. Is there something else I should know”

“For the time being…I’ll be happy if you can help me with one thing at a time”

“I’ll do my best”

“Then I’ll tell you how this problem can be dealt with…if only you were a girl, it would be easier”

“Is it because he can accept more closeness from females than meals because the killer was a man?”

“you are smart Jaejoong-shi…this is the matching I talked to you about. You seem to understand it well”

“You can trust me Dr. Yoong”

“Okay then, here is the strategy…”