Sorry for being so late...I ran out of words TT_TT....just a warning...this chapter is sooooo sad...hope you'll enjoy reading though :) comments and remarks are always welcome ^^

Junsu held the bouquet of flowers in his arms and walked toward the car. As he sat beside Jaejoong, he showed him the big beautiful bouquet, “do you think that she will like it?”

“Junsu...she will fly of happiness! This bouquet is gorgeous! And besides, this is her favorite flower”

Junsu's face lighted up with joy, “That's why I asked you. I wanted to give her something she really wants. It is a pity that they will not last forever”

“You could buy plastic ones”

“But plastic ones are not even real. I prefer something real than something that lasts forever but artificial”

“the happiness that you will bring to her will be real, regardless of what the gift is”

“I hope” he smiled tenderly staring at the flowers.

When the two men arrived at the hospital, Junsu stopped, staring at the big entrance. Jaejoong turned to face him, “Junsu, are you sure you can go inside?”

“I can hyung. Why not?”

“You told me that hospitals scare you”

“ah...that...hospitals scare me, but when I am the patient not while I am visiting someone”

“are you sure Junsu-ya?”

“Yes hyung”

Jaejoong lend his hand to his friend, “you are a horrible liar Junsu-ya, but because I know you really want to achieve a personal challenge, I'll allow you. However, you should hold my hand all the time, and if I feel that you start feeling uncomfortable, we will go”

Junsu smiled, taking Jaejoong hand, “how did you manage to know me that well in such short time?”

“Because you are a horrible liar Junsu-ya”

“Am I that horrible?”

“It is a good thing you know”

“Really?”

“That shows that you are, indeed, an angel”

Junsu blushed a little, smiling sweetly. Jaejoong loves seeing him smiling. It totally changes his face; it makes it shining...like sunlight…

Jaejoong knocked the door first. His sister opened and shouted, “Jaejoongie! You came!” she jumped to hug him. His sister leaves in USA and she didn't see him for a long time. Jaejoong hugged her tightly, enjoying his sister closeness. When they finally withdrew, he said happily,

“I didn't know you came sister! I missed you so much”

“Me too Jaejoongie. I just arrived this morning. I was asking mother about you just now. Ah! God heard my wish!”

“Look at you sis! You are becoming more and more beautiful each time!”

His sister laughed happily. Junsu just watched. He really wanted to cry, seeing how Jaejoong is so loved by his family while he is so unwanted by his, but he held his tears back. This wasn't the moment to ruin a good family gathering. He will just enjoy the view, he thought. Jaejoong taking his hand again woke him up. He walked forward inside the room to hug his sick sister, who was lying in her comfortable bed. Her face was lightened by her brother presence. Jaejoong also was missing his sister so much. He hugged her and kissed her so lovingly...and Junsu just watched, not really sure of what he was feeling. Pain? Joy? Hurt? Comfort? Jealousy? His heart was in a complete mess. However, he was brought from his miserable contemplation by Jaejoong hand again, when he stood beside him to introduce the family and the friend.

“Sisters, this is Junsu. He is my best friend, and he came with me to visit”

Junsu gathered what had been left from his energy to bow a little, walk toward the young lady and give her the present. Not sure of what he should-or can- say, he spoke what came first into his messed up mind,

“I am sorry to come so suddenly. I really wanted to visit you with Jaejoong hyung. It is a pleasure for me to know hyung's family. I hope you are getting better...uh...Jaejoong hyung told me that you love flowers...I hope you will like these ones”

The concerned woman took the bouquet with a surprised look. She stared into Junsu eyes for a moment, Then smiled widely. She stared for a while at the bouquet, her eyes becoming teary, then she finally spoke, “Thank you so much Junsu-shi. They are wonderful” She tried to wipe her eyes with her palms, “it is really sweet from you”

Jaejoong other sister approached the smaller man, smiling, “Junsu-shi, we are the ones who should be pleased to know you. If Jaejoong have you as a friend, I will be sure that he will never lack something. Nice to meet you. Thank you for being so thoughtful”

Junsu blushed again. He returned the lady's bow with a more respectful one,

“it is really nothing big. Please don't thank me”

“oh! Jaejoongie! Your friend is so polite! Junsu-shi, I am Jini and this is Sunie, you can call us whatever you want. Because you are Jaejoongie's friend, you are one of the family”

“Thank you”

Sunie looked at him again, eyes still watery but shining with pleasure, “I am sorry. I am really touched. It's been a while since I felt like this...thank you”

Junsu just smiled back. He felt like crying if he tries to say anything. He was already on the edge of tears.

Jaejoong patted his shoulder, “Sis...stop crying! You will make him cry too. He is very sensitive you know”

“I am sorry” she just said, helpless.

“Ah you two!” Jaejoong teased, warping his arm around his friend’s shoulder.

Junsu’s preview:

I met Jaejoong hyung mother. She is nothing like mine…sadly. She is a very nice woman, bubbling with tender, patience and hope. Jinni nuna and Sunie nuna are also so gentle and caring…nothing like my brothers…However, Jaejoong hyung is also nothing like me…he sacrifices a lot to help his family…while…I caused them…and still cause them an endless pain…

At a hospital like this one, everything was destroyed…because I couldn’t sacrifice for her…because I preferred to save myself and she preferred to save me…because I wasn’t able to do what she does…

“Junsu?”

I looked up at hyung worried figure, and smiled…a fainted one, I know he noticed, “I feel a bit tired hyung that’s all”

“Do you want to go home”

“No hyung, please”

“but you don’t look okay at all Junsu-ya”

“Can you please bring me mineral water and chocolate…I think it is because of hypoglycemia. I’ll be all right”

“Ok, I won’t be late”

I nodded, watching him exit the room. I wanted him to go…anywhere…I needed him to go, because I knew he won’t like what I am going to do, but I needed to do it…so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past,

“Aunt…can I talk to you for a while?”

Everyone looked at me with a curious, Suspicious, worried look. Hyung’s mother followed me as we exited the room. When we were finally at an empty place, I could tell her what I wanted,

“Aunt, I want you to keep a secret for me”

“is it about Jaejoong, son?” she asked confused.

“No aunt. I want you to keep it from him”

“uh?!”

“Aunt…Jaejoong is doing a lot for me, doing a lot to help Sunie nuna. He is even helping those who don’t deserve to…As his friend, at least…I should help him a little too…I want to…I own him my life twice…and much more…please, allow me to do something good in my life. Can you not tell him what I am going to do, please? I know he won’t accept anything from me”

She studied me for a while, still confused, but she finally said, “Ok…as you like. I won’t tell him anything, but, what do you want to do?”

“I know a doctor at Washington. He is a specialist in cancer. When I heard you talking about Sunie nuna’s state, I thought of him. I want you to take her to have her treatment there…please”

“Tell me son, what did Jaejoong do for you?”

“uh?!...”

“If I understood, you want me to take Sunie to a doctor you know at Washington, and you will pay for everything. And because Jaejoong will definitely not accept, you want me to keep this as a secret. Isn’t it?”

I nodded, “…please”

“But when hearing you talk. It is rather like someone who is asking for a favor not offering it. You are almost begging me to approve!”

“It is because you are really doing me a favor aunt. I really want to…”

“That is why I asked you what Jaejoong did for you. It is not evident, son, that you let go of a huge amount of money like this”

“Aunt, I am not doing anything special. Jaejoong hyung gave me something that everyone needs…that he needs…but money for me is not something I need…so I am not letting go of anything. Please don’t see it like I am doing something you should be grateful for…I am rather satisfying a personal need…giving back a loan”

She smiled adorably, and her smile made me flying of happiness. It means she accepted,

“Junsu-ya…I am happy that Jaejoong found someone like you. May God make this relationship lasts forever”

“I am the one who should be thanking God for meeting Jaejoong aunt. He is a gorgeous person”

I searched in my pocket in a hurry. Jaejoong hyung must be back in any minute. I gave a case to his mother. She ped it and looked inside,

“There is my phone number and…”

“Empty checks?!” she looked at me surprised

“You can fill them with the amount you need for…anything. Please use all of them and don’t worry”

“son!! This is…too much”

“no! not at all…hyung would be back in a moment…I should go back to the room. Please do what I told you”

My preview  

“here is water and chocolate” Jaejoong said as he gave the two products to Junsu, “did umma told you one of her famous jokes? You was looking so miserable and now you look so happy”

“It is a secret hyung”

“Now you keep secrets from me Junsu-shi?”

Junsu draw a playful smile. Jaejoong stared for a while to everyone,

“nuna…tell me what happened please”

“No Jaejoongie. It is a secret”

“what? Umma?”

“A secret son!”

Everyone laughed and Jaejoong pouted, “ok! You want to play with me uh? When we will be alone Junsu…I’ll make you speak…you will see”

Junsu chuckled, still having his playful smile as he opened the bottle.

“I will tell you the secret hyung…just let me rest for a while and I will tell you”

Jaejoong waited impatiently, Junsu chuckled again, “You look really cute like this hyung”

“ah really?! I won’t stay ‘cute’ if you take a longer time to rest. It is enough already, come on!”

“Ok…come with me”  

Junsu lead Jaejoong to an office,

“Hyung…I want to introduce you to someone that would be very helpful”

“Your doctor I guess”

“yep...you will get along with him very quickly. You will see”

“Is that the secret?”

Junsu smiled, he knocked the door and waited. A calm voice responded,  “Come in please”

Junsu pushed the door open and greeted the doctor who was on his desk, “Hello! How are you doc?”

The tall man stood up and came closer, a shining smile on his face, “Junsu-ya? Is that really you? Oh Godness! You came” he patted Junsu’s shoulders as he stared at him happily.

“I wouldn’t have come alone doc…I could never come without my friend”

The doctor looked at Jaejoong gratefully. He certainly loved the smaller man. He land his hand to Jaejonng saying, “Nice to meet you”

Jaejoong shook the hand, “I am Jaejoong. Nice to meet you too”

“Jaejoong-shi…thanks for bringing this child here”

“child?” Junsu protested

The doctor laughed, inviting the two men to sit as he ordered some juices.

“I wanted Jaejoong hyung to meet you. I bet you have a lot to discuss together”

“It is a pleasure to meet the man who succeeded in bringing you here”

“I really did nothing much. Junsu is strong by himself. He just needed a little push”

“ It is all about little pushes Jaejoong-shi! So Junsu-ya, tell me, how is your health?”

“Just as it was doctor. I got used to the situation. Can we talk about something else?”

“Junsu! Now that you are in my office, it is strictly impossible to let you go without checking on you”

“doctor! You know there is no hope…why are you making me enduring all of your tests each time?”

“Because I want to see them” Jaejoong said calmly.

“hyung? I didn’t bring you here to lose your time studying a hopeless case!”

“I want to…please”

“No hyung…I brough you here because my doctor experienced the same problem you have. He couldn’t work for a long time too. He will definitely help you”

“have Experienced the same problem?! How did you know…?”

“I searched…sorry…I knew you won’t tell me, and…I know the potential you have. You can save many people from death and pain”

“So that was it…” Jaejoong said, somehow surrendering.

“Please hyung, can you tell him what happened. He will definitely know how to advice you”

“Okay…but we should make a deal. You will make your tests as well”

“but hyung…”

“no buts…and I will personally assist that”

“You are so stubborn!”

“Just like you Junsu-ya”

The doctor waited until the two men finished talk, then he laughed strongly,

“Sorry Jaejoong-shi. I had to pretend that I don’t know you…no one can refuse anything for Junsu”

Jaejoong looked at Junsu with a blaming look, “you trolled me, didn’t you?”

Junsu smiled innocently, “just doing my best hyungie. Don’t be mad…I am not the worst liar in the world anymore”

“ahh…you still…you just took me by surprise this time. Now, Junsu-shi, you will have to prepare yourself for the tests or I won’t speak a word”

“Naughty hyung!” Junsu said, standing up, “doctor…please call all the stuff needed to give Jaejoong hyung a complete report about every inch on my body. Tell them to make a reservation for all sorts of machines you have in this hospital for tomorrow”

“Oh I will…with great pleasure Junsu-ya”

“Are you satisfied hyung?”

“Somehow…where are you going alone?”

“To sign all the sheets for tomorrow’s tests”

“Don’t you want to hear what I am going to say”

“I already know hyungie…and… I prefer to have a personal talk at home about this”

“Are you going to be all right?”

“Didn’t you just say that I am strong by myself?”

“If you need me, call me okay?”

“kay…naughty hyung!”

Junsu’s preview

I exited the office babbling with pleasure, “I did it!” I shouted happily. I am sure everything would be okay with Jaejoong hyung now…he will never be obliged to live in that quarter or to deal with that crazy boss…he will have a new, great life…and I would die comfortably…

 When I returned to the passage leading to the desk I was heading to, I met hyung’s nuna; the one that came that day with him to my house. She is probably here to visit Sunie-nuna. I greeted her. She turned to face me and her face was showing some upset figures,

“What are you doing here?”

At first, I was almost tacking aback by the way she looked at me, but I could understand why she is like that…and she is probably right,

“I…came with Jaejoong hyung…to visit Sunie-nuna” I answered honestly

“and how dare you?”

Now, I was totally shocked. I know she thinks bad about me…but was I that bad? I didn’t know what o to say. When I looked at her again, I noticed…how much she hates me…but why? I wanted to know why….however, when the answer came, I wished I didn’t know,

“You are finishing your father’s plan, aren’t you?”

“Excuse… me?”

“Don’t play the innocent with me Junsu-shi! I know everything about you! Your father ruined Jaejoongie’s life, he sent him to prison despite knowing he was innocent to cover his dirty work. He ruined his career and his dreams…You certainly know that he can’t work as a doctor anymore, don’t you? And this is because of your ing family! You! Rich people! You only think about yourselves…hell to others…tell me! Did you tell him, uh? Does he know who you are? What do you want from him? What more to take? Tell me! Speak! What do you want from my brother already?”

She was shouting, angry, hurt…I can feel her…and I can feel every word…like a sharp poisoned sword, penetrating deep in every part of me…could it be that…my family…is the origin of hyung’s problems? Could it be that…I am…the son of the man who destroyed his life? Could it be…? I don’t want to…it is impossible…it is not true…don’t want it to be true…this is a nightmare…I feel myself seeking in a deep, black spiral…

My preview

“No! This is a lie!” Junsu shouted uncontrollably as tears began to cover his eyes, “that can be! It can’t be…I know (he tried to breath normally) father did a lot of bad things but…but…he can’t do that…what is this miserable destiny I have?…he can’t do that…it can’t be…can’t be”

“Wow! You are an excellent actor Junsu-shi! Who could suspect you when you are that good? Now I know, Jaejoongie is a caring person. He has a big heart…and you used that…you think it is not your father? Then let me tell you why he did it and you will see…that…supposing that you are innocent and you don’t know anything…which is not true”

Junsu listened carefully, preparing himself to find a spot where he can deny what is been said…but he only felt his heart beats going faster and faster as she spoke,

“You had a big sister, didn’t you?”

Images flashed Junsu’s mind…his…sister…screaming for help…screaming in pain…begging…crying…and in this spiral of memories, a voice narrated,

“She died, didn’t she?” Her lifeless face was lying on the dry, dirty ground, eyes open, mouth open, bursts everywhere…blood, she was still bleeding…her blood formed a little river that passed through her tiny legs, down to nowhere…the voice continued,

“The man who killed her…” that man, with his big body, laughing endlessly, screaming in pleasure and drinking triumph…this man…beating and biting the weak body… printing ugly marks on the pale skin…this man… “that man…was Jaejoong’s father and your father took his revenge from the son. In the same way, I have the right to punish the son instead of the father…even if he is innocent, because Jaejoongie also was innocent”

Darkness…them laughing…Junsu could see them again, he could live what he tried to forget…his sister…underneath the huge body,

“please…please stop…please…I beg you…please”

Her tears were mixed up with blood and sleeve…her blood and his sleeves…that monster…was kissing her, beating her, her, biting her, slapping her, breaking her and caressing her…all in a once…his psychopathy in action…and in the corner…where was a little scary boy…crying helplessly…was another man…every time the child wanted to close his eyes or to block his ears, the man pulled his hair, forcing him to see…to watch the crime he was responsible for…that’s what the man was saying…he was responsible…because he couldn’t do anything…because he was so afraid that he couldn’t move, that he couldn’t help his poor sister…because she was doing this for him…that he was sent by the devil to make her destiny be like this…that if he wasn’t born, she wouldn’t be here…that…

Junsu’s breath shortened, his heart was beating so fast, he was there again…again and again…he would see those nightmares again and again and again…he will live in the vicious circle…he will return there again…and stay there again…he ran all his life but there he is again…at the same spot again…facing his crime…her screams…his laughers…their blame… and the voice came again, so calm and so sharp, “but what your father forgot about is that…you was the reason why she died like that”

Then many voices came to repeat the same “fact”: “if only you weren’t born” “you are culpable!” “it is all because of you!” “God takes his revenge from you!”

“Nooooo!” Junsu pressed his head with his two hands, shaking it rudely, “nooo! Nooo! I loved her! I didn’t do anything! She…she…nooo! Don’t want to remember! Don’t want to remember! Leave me alone!”, He ran as fast as he can, heading nowhere at the large hospital, hitting walls and chairs in his way, until he stopped, out of breath and energy, shaking badly and crying uncontrollably. He secured his chest with his hand, coughing severely. He heard voices, he turned his head to the side, there was a room, an emergency room…and his sister was lying there, body connected with all sorts of machines…then the one of them began emitting that dying voice, making Junsu’s head ach, then the voices came again, “you killed her” “you killed her” “you killed her” “look at your crime” “you only ran because you know it was because of you” He heard another voice behind him…that man was there, “you don’t have the courage to face your truth yet, don’t you? Look at her…look at me…I will make you see your truth”

“Nooo! Leave me! Leave me!” He screamed again running along the empty hallway. He closed the toilet door behind him and cornered himself like a ball, breathing painfully, crying hard and coughing his soul out, repeating just one sentence…  “Leave me alone…leave me alone…leave me” his panic attacks came back again…and his miserable destiny is repeating itself…again…he looked at the hand that was covering his mouth…there was a red liquid, like the one his sister was bleeding…he wiped his hand irately on the wall…he doesn’t want to see that red liquid…not anymore…he hugged himself trembling in fear, then a memory crossed his mind… “hyung…hyung…”