❝ chapter thirty

s o l a r ’ s

[blue text = spoken in english]

It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t even a little bit mad at Eric for earlier. Sure, it wasn’t his fault and he wasn’t the one who initiated the hang out first but for someone who used to date him to initiated a hang out first, they had probably been in contact a few times. After a while, he walked into the room with a new set of outfits, completely ready for a swim even though his brothers sort of give up on the bro swim earlier because they’re already sleepy. He looked good. Good enough for me to hug and fall asleep in his arm for the rest of the night. But then, when does he never looks good? Probably only that one time when one of our fan walked up to me in the hotel’s buffet back during Kcon LA and showed me a picture of him derping on ASC. I swear I have never seen Eric pulled a six necks in his pose before. 

    “Do you want to swim?” 

    “No.” I mumble. “You know, if you want to hang out with her then you should go.” 

    “Yongsun.” He frowns. “Look, I never said I would go and she asked Brian, not me.” 

    "You two must have kept in contact a lot for her to just casually asked to hang out again." 

     He frowned. "Yongsun, let's not go over there again."

    “It’s not like you have never contact her again.” I mumbled. "If you want to go and meet her, then go. I don't care."

Eric sighs and runs his hand through his hair. We always end up having a fight over this, always over this topic of our ex and it kills us every times. It’s chilly tonight and all I want to do is cuddle with him and run an old film then fall asleep in each other’s arm. Not this. Not me starting a fight because I couldn’t keep my own emotion under control. 

    “Yongsun, look. We have talked about this before and I already told you I have never ever contact her. I don’t even know she’s still in Atlanta.” 

He sounds frustrated, pissed off even. There’s a slight change in his tone and parts of me are already sure I’m going to curl up in bed and cry after this. 

    “Do whatever you want. I’m going to sleep.” I mumble and lie down on the bed with my back facing him and blanket covering up to my shoulder. 

He sighs then there’s a sound of the door closing. I turn around and he’s no longer there, then the waterway works itself almost immediately. I turn back, burying my face in his pillow and sob. Not because I’m mad at him for walking out on me but mainly at myself for always losing control of my own words whenever we fight, for not trying to reconcile but instead adding fuel to the flame. 

After ten whole minutes, I start to miss him so badly and he’s not even miles away. He’s probably somewhere inside the swimming pool, trying to calm himself down. I wipe away my tear and decide to just go downstairs and make up instead of running away from it. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want us to go to sleep with bad feeling. No one should ever do that. 

I wrapped myself in a thin cardigan and walked downstairs, praying that his parents and brothers aren’t awake so they won’t have to see me with swollen eyes. I headed straight to the swimming pool but he wasn’t there, his towel is on the bench and there’s a puddle of water along the edges of the pool. He’s probably down there, diving. 

I walk toward the pool and takes a seat on the edge of it, only putting my legs inside the pool because I’m wearing shorts anyway and I don’t really feel like going for a swim either. After a while, he submerges from the bottom of the pool and looks at me. My heart skips for a moment.

What if he doesn’t come? 

I sigh in relief when he swims toward me then stops right in front of me, hands placing on my thighs and he’s staring at me. 

    “Have you been crying?” He frowns, then there’s guilt painted all over his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have raise my voice and walked out on you.” 

    I caress his cheeks. They’re cold, not the freezing cold but just right. “Me too.” 

    He buries his face into my thighs, then softly, he says, “I hate fighting with you.” 

A few moments later, he looks up and just hangs around next to me while I sit with my legs in and he’s in the water. Then, suddenly something inside me make me bend down to kiss him and he still seems to be taken aback even by now. Maybe because of the fight earlier or maybe it’s because I reach out first this time. 

He kisses me back softly, one of his hands on the edge of the pool and another one on my thigh and mine wrap around his neck, my whole balance is on his. The night sky is beautifully dark, accompany only by a few night lights as decoration and a few more from the stars itself. The chilly breeze hit against my skin a few times but all I could focus was on the man in front of me. What has he done to me? I was never this brave.

All of sudden, he shifts his body on purpose and pulls me into the swimming pool. It makes a loud splash and I squeal then giggle like mad and he’s laughing like he always does. A few minutes ago, we were both cautious but now, we don’t even care if anyone is going to walk in on us. 

    “This is my sleepwear.” I whine and he only laughs and shrugs. “I was gonna come and make up then go back to sleep in this.” 

    “You brought a lot of clothes.” He said then leans his face toward me again. 

I always like it best when he kisses me first. It gives me this warm feeling of being loved by someone else other than my own family. His hands find their way around my waist under the water and I wrap one hand around his neck, another in his hair. Gently, he nibbles on my lower lip and I giggle, enjoying the butterflies in my stomach as he does so. 

I close my eyes and kiss him again, deepening it in the process and he doesn’t seem to mind. My hand runs through his hair and he tightens the hug around my waist and pulls me closer, the chilly breeze no longer bothers me and all of sudden, all we care about is the presence of each other’s lip. Eric is the first one to pull away and in a small pant, he’s staring at me, water dripping from his hair down his face. 

    “God, Yongsun. What have you done to me?” 

    “Nothing.” I smile and run my finger along his lip. “Just… giving you what you deserve.”

    “I love you.” He mumbles and puts a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Have I ever told you that you’re amazing yet?” 

    “Loads.” I giggle and kiss him again. 

One last time for today, I promise.