❝ chapter two

e r i c ’ s

    “Is it really the end between you and Yongsun? She seems like a nice woman and we both like her a lot too.” 

I sigh and continue on finishing my sandwich. This is the nth times my parents are complaining about why do we have to grow apart just because filming is done for good. I’d love to keep in contact, heck, I’m dying to call her every night and text her back right now but we’re going nowhere. If I do that, we both know we can’t take another step forward. If I can’t control myself, I might ruin her happiness. 

Mamamoo was Yongsun’s turning point in life or at least that was what she told me that one night after we wrapped up our filming for that one episode where we recorded our memories in the book I brought. She opened up to me a lot and we didn’t stop talking even when the filming was done. She went through a lot, most of it, I didn’t try to go deeper because she’d always tear up while talking about it but it was clear - singing was her only joy and Mamamoo was more than just a career to her, it was, is and will always be part of her and probably the only place she felt like she belonged to. I can’t ruin that. I can’t ruin her only source of comfort. 

    “We keep in contact once in a while, she’s busy and I am too but I think we’re still a good friend.” 

    “You know we hope you would be more than good friends, look at those message she wrote to us on that chestnut and sweet potatoes boxes. I’ve never seen anyone who would match so well with you.” My mom sighs. “I still remember how pretty she was the last time we saw her performing at Kcon in New York, too bad we didn’t get to meet backstage.” 

I smile, even to me, I think we match quite well too. Yongsun is an exact living example of the ideal type I’ve had for years and although it took times for her to opened up to me and to be comfortable around me, it was still a pleasant sight. I was still proud. Not of myself but of her, because she’s able to take another step forward. 

Breakfast went well, better than yesterday. At least they didn’t ask about Yongsun as much as yesterday. I could go on for days about her but with all this fuss and mindset for me to finally move on and continue with my life just as she probably does, it isn’t helping me much to reminisced on what we did or how well we matched. After all, it seemed like I’m the only one feeling this way. The song she played on the yacht in Dubai might be an indirect way of saying we should just be friends. 

    Never lovers, ever friends.

Subconsciously, I sigh. This is going nowhere. Maybe, I really need to move on.

Eddie and Brian went off into their own rooms. I decided to leave to mine too, maybe I could worked on some musics. Maybe, I could used all of these impending feelings into several songs and have them in different albums so it wouldn’t be too obvious. Plus, no one would even suspect you for writing broken love songs, nine out of ten in the industry sang about it anyway. 

Throwing myself on my bed, I find myself reaching for my phone instead. I unlock it to the display of our conversation, her latest text is still sitting there, waiting for an answer from me but I can’t find the exact words to say. We’ve already talked about some other things anyway, why am I still making a big deal out of this?

Any other couples would have rented it, but we sort of just bought it. It still didn’t make enough sense to both of us that we actually bought it without anyone knowing about it, not even the staffs, not even our companies. Does she want to put it on sale now? Do I actually want that? 

God, if it’s anything, I’d still want the house to be reason we’re still tied-up with each other in some way.