to; take the l
from; jongdae

yo, jonghyun’s coffee shop in five.

Today was the day. It felt weird to finally say today was the last day. Their senior year flew by so fast. The adventures they started in fall quarter trudged through winter quarter and finally finished in spring quarter. This was it. The last day. Kim Jongdae didn’t know what to say as he opened the doors to Jonghyun’s coffee shop for the last time. It was still 7AM, and. no one was around. Doojoon smiled sweetly at him and fist-bumped him as he grabbed a cherry blossom colored mug.

“You ready?” he asked as Jongdae tasted the dash of chocolate in his latte. Today, at 2PM, he would be walking among a small group of graduates in his major. He didn’t know what to think of that. Doojoon’s graduation would be at 10AM, and he had to go to his too, but he looked at Doojoon, his best friend from high school, the same guy who saw the craziness in his life. He was still the same.

“You’re still the same old Doojoon, I know,” Jongdae stated, not answering that question. Looking down at his arm, he had a brown scar from his emergency trip. There was still a reminder he had a lot of work to do with recovery.

“You’ve come a long way. I’m lucky to have gotten to see some of it,” Doojoon stated as his eyes also fell on the scar. Sure, they didn’t talk about s, or , or high school math quizzes anymore, but they talked about not knowing the future, about old memories on the rooftops, and occasionally wondered where everyone was now. But looking at Doojoon’s healthy glow, he just smiled, reassured that their friendship was going to be the same like before.

“I love you,” he replied, and Doojoon grabbed a to go cup and cheered with him. Doojoon, who was his best friend, who was also Yixing’s freshman fling, who would have thought? And they chuckled before Jongdae climbed the red stairs for the very last time.

As he approached the top, he saw Jonghyun who was sitting at the long family table in the back, working on a crossword puzzle. He never got up this early, and he usually didn’t work in the morning. But there he was, the dorky smile on his face as he sat his cup down at his regular table. Staring off the balcony, he heard Jonghyun clear his throat.

“Proud of ya, kid,” Jonghyun started, looking up at him. Jongdae sipped his latte. The man who owned this coffee shop went through a lot, and he still didn’t know where he was going. All he knew was that he had a fairly decent coffee shop thanks to Jongdae, and he was going to get by despite not knowing the future. The talks they had in his home played in his mind. The odd concoctions of lattes and mochas he tried to create for Jongdae continued to buzz in his stomach. Jonghyun would always be the master of caffeinated wisdom and steadfast kindness. “You can always work for me if you can’t find a job,” he laughed.

Turning around, he smiled and said, “Hell yes.” As if on cue, the music they played in his car started to hum in the dimly lit coffee shop, and the bell rung once more to notify Doojoon that someone else was here.

“You didn’t think you were just going to get away without me, now did you, handsome?” he heard, looking down once more was Jeonghan. That sly smile on his face meant Jongdae did well in passing the playboy knowledge to a wonderful freshman. True, he wasn’t Baekhyun’s type, but that was okay because he was the kind of boy, Jongdae could spend nights flirting with anyways.

“Okay, pretty boy, go to work. Leave our customers alone,” Jonghyun snorted. With a huff, Jeonghan rolled his eyes and grabbed an apron from Doojoon. “You taught that boy well,” Jonghyun added.

“What can I say? I have amazing charms,” he finished. And he looked out to the world, today was unlike any other day. Everyone was going to graduate and go their separate ways. There would be no more Holy Trinity trying to scheme ways to finish their bucket list, or spending so much time in Jonghyun’s coffee shop that they were still buzzing with caffeine when they got back to their apartments. They would go back to their towns, and figure out where to go from there.

It wasn’t a bad thing, Jongdae guessed. It was just nostalgic. He remembered Baekhyun asking Jeonghan out for the first time, or seeing Sandara get her coffee order, or spending the whole night with everyone and told their tales. Looking around, he knew that it was going to be okay for all of them. ping his backpack, he pulled out the bucket bible. Inside, there were photos and black sharpie ink, sure they didn’t do everything, but they got a lot done. And without realizing it, Baekhyun and Yixing joined him with their lilac mug and mint mug, looking at everything they accomplished together.

Yixing laughed at the fact that Taewoo and him got together because of a bucket list item. And Baekhyun recalled the time he went on a date with Suji that didn’t go anywhere. But as they flipped through the scribbled pages of their bucket list, they knew that this was something to memorialize for everyone to see. Somehow, through it all, they managed to finish so many things they wanted to do.

As Jongdae leaned back in his chair, he smiled at all of them. Baekhyun, who was so infatuated with the idea of love was finally okay with not being in love, and managed to get over Kikwang after he deleted that number. He was still a sentimental piece of , but at least he knew that there were better things to love like himself and good tea lattes. His eyes watched as he pressed the lilac mug to his lips. It was amazing to see him evolve into someone who just enjoyed being a dork, being okay with his world crushed, and slowly learning how to love every part of himself.

Yixing traded with Baekhyun as he tried to sip on his tea latte, and Jongdae smirked. Yixing stopped being so overworked, stopped trying to find perfection, instead, broke the rule about relationships, and found a guy who liked him just for him. Odd how it worked out, but he wasn’t complaining. It was his fault for putting that rule in there. He should have seen it coming. As the three of them sat there, drinking their coffee, he wondered what would have happened if they never had this bucket list. Would it still be the same? Would their friendship be as strong as it was? Probably not, but it was for the better this way.

“Number one on that list. Who would have thought Baekhyun was going to pass all his classes?” Yixing joked as he pointed at the very first item. Annoyed, Baekhyun crossed his arms and took the book from him.

“First off, rude. I am incredibly intelligent so shut the up,” Baekhyun commented as he pulled out his own pen to start writing about the first item. Yixing laughed as he took out his own burgundy pen to sign off this last item. And Jongdae only watched as the two quarreled just like how Yixing watched when Baekhyun quarreled with Jongdae.

“We’re graduating today. That’s so damn weird.”

And that was when the two of them stopped fighting to look at Jongdae, who was staring at the two of them. It was the weirdest conclusion to come to. After this, they had no idea what their future was going to hold. And sure, it could have been easy to not worry about. But not knowing was always a little out of anyone’s comfort zone. He stared at Jonghyun who was looking back at him. He didn’t know what the future was going to hold when he opened up this coffee shop. He was going through his own struggles with life, with depression, with everything, and here he was, sitting at a table doing a crossword puzzle. That man told him all about his best friends, and how they helped him get to the place he was today. It was almost like they had similar paths in life. Their souls were intertwined in some wayS

“We really are,” Baekhyun said with a sad smile on his face.

“After this, who knows when we’ll see each other again,” YIxing added.

Getting up from his seat, he put his arms around his two best friends who had seen him at his lowest point, at the hospital, still trying to figure out how to recover from this mess he called his life, and stared out to the outside world with them.

“I knew a person who told me this. You have friends for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. You don’t have to see them all the time to know that they mean the world to you. And I’m sure one day, we’ll all come back and be doing the same we’ve been doing from the very beginning.”

The three of them laughed as Jongdae tried to figure out how to make it look like his position was comfortable for him, but really, he was dying, and they pushed him back to his seat. But he knew that these two friends in front of him were never going to change. And as he took the last polaroid of their coffee mugs, Jonghyun took the polaroids of all three of them, he stared at them, and taped them into this black bible.

Nine months ago, he was throwing this bible into their room, hoping that they would see the beauty in the idea of fulfilling a bucket list with him. Sometimes, the rules got a little wonky when they were figuring it out, and other times, it was just a load of ery that they didn’t know what to do with, but more often than not, it strengthened their relationship. Whether it be taking a break from finals with pho, or having a long conversation in a coffee shop that would become their second home, this black book became the reason why they continued to be good friends, and not just strangers with a few memories.

It was strange to know how many times a week they would come here. How many times Jonghyun would actually give them free drinks because he loved Jongdae that much, or how Doojoon and Jongdae would have a daily ritual of seeing each other every morning so that their friendship would stay the same.

It was crazy to believe that nine months ago, no one would have expected Yixing to have a boyfriend, Baekhyun not falling in love with someone and going with the flow, and Jongdae being the glue that kept them all together.

They wrote their names underneath the bucket list item, and Jongdae passed the book onto Jonghyun. They watched in confusion as Jongdae asked, “Memorialize this for us, would ya?” Jonghyun nodded his head. Jongdae’s smile then could have lit up an entire neighborhood.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way for my favorite customers.”

“How many L’s did you take because of this book?” Doojoon asked as he got up to them. He knew all about it, and he also knew Jeonghan wouldn’t shut his trap about it either. As the three friends looked up from that book, Jongdae smiled.

“None. When you’re ing up with your best friends, how could you take any L?” he asked.

As Leon Bridges crept into the speakers once again, Jongdae felt the warmth of his dark coffee move through his veins. As the three of them finished off their drinks, they all just smiled at each other, knowing this wasn’t going to be the last time they were here like this. Sitting on the second floor, staring down at the ground level, or looking out to the world, these three friends were in it for the long run, and it was good with sharpie filled black bibles, bucket lists, espresso, and sentimental pieces of .