Yixing had no idea why it had to be him. Out of all the guys to have to do this bucket list item, it had to be him. No, it was because he had a test the next day he didn’t really study for, and Jongdae stared at him mouth wide when he was over at their apartment. (Honestly, Baekhyun had to buy him a beer and a few other things. There was no way Jongdae wasn’t offended by his statement. And Baekhyun let him snag some good stuff from Taeyeon while he was over.) After Jongdae’s persuasion, he joined the two in drinking a few concoctions.

And just like that, he was sitting in his seat, not worried about a test, and while his life didn’t truly depend on it, he watched as everyone around him looked nervously down at their test. How could a test be the end of the world? It wasn’t finals. It wasn’t midterms. It was just a new unit that he should have understood better, or honestly, he should have studied a little bit more, or gone to tutoring.

But now that he thought about it, if he went to tutoring, he’d see Taewoo, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that kind of interaction. Having Taewoo see him as an inadequate student who couldn’t understand basic proofs for his math class would leave a really bad impression. Even if they've been texting for a while, he still didn’t want him to know that he was struggling in any way. There was some kind of allure if he was perfect. Sitting in his seat, staring at his test, he had to wonder if it was really worth faking. He knew he was one of the best students in this class, and he knew the material pretty well, well, he’d liked to think anyways. If he failed, it wouldn’t put a giant dent in his grade, right? Coming to this conclusion, he started to write it all out.

Sure, his head hurt a little bit from drinking with the other two, and sure, he should have gotten to bed earlier the night before, but as he read through each and every question, it wasn't as hard. Sure, there were some parts he wanted to burn and call it good, but more often than not, he had a general idea of what the problem was about. Something about this all clicked. And it took him longer than any of his other tests because he didn’t memorize the practice problems by heart. He wanted to memorize the practice tests so that he knew how to answer these, but staring at it all, and coming to an understanding it while taking the test was surreal.

He'd rather have that epiphany now than never. And while he wasn’t the first one to finish, and one of the very last ones, he didn’t mind. With a smile on his face, he pressed his graphite filled paper against the other sheets, and bit his lips.

Now the regret was coming. Was there anything he could do about it now? His hands were trembling as he turned it in. This was a bad decision. This was a bad decision. Not saying a word, he grabbed his stuff as he headed out of the classroom, and his mind decided to play tricks on him. If he failed this time around, it was going to harm his grade. It was a tug-of-war in his mind as he left his class to figure out what to do with this one failed exam.

He let his feet take control. He couldn’t go back to his apartment because he’d have to face Baekhyun and tell him that he ed up, and cry. That would force Baekhyun to just be in an uncomfortable position of trying to figure out what to do. Jongdae was busy with his own and being in four different clubs didn’t really help him with availability. While he’d love to turn to Jongdae, he was also the reason why he was in this place, and he knew that he’d blame himself for doing something like that. So, that was how he ended up in front of his professor’s door, hoping that Taewoo would be there. And, yes, he was going to have to sacrifice his perfection, but he didn’t know who he could turn to.

“Hey, what’s up?” Taewoo asked as Yixing entered the room, and just like that, he was on the ground, crying about something that no one wanted to listen to. It was just a test, but he was just hit by anxiety the moment he tried to drop it. There was no way he was going to be able to compose himself. This was the first time he sabotaged himself like that. It was just-

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered as he rubbed his back. “Look, it’s just a test, and it’s only a small portion of your grade that you can make up later,” he continued, humming reassurances into his ears as he sobbed on the ground. How was it actually possible for this boy to be sweet like that? As his sniffling started to slow down, Yixing stared at the boy in front of him. He was just so perfect. All the physical imperfections, the bumps on his face, the calloused hands, everything about him seemed so perfect right here and then.

“Let’s talk,” Taewoo started. And just like that he took his hand, left the professor’s office, and walked quietly onto campus. It was odd. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t even tell him anything. It was just that Yixing felt as though the whole world was crashing around him, and he had no idea how to make it better. But while he was trying to calm down, Taewoo squeezed his hands, quietly murmuring words to make him feel reassured. It was kind of like being around Doojoon again, how Doojoon was so easy to talk to, how he was so kind to him, and all of a sudden, he was reverted back to those times when Doojoon waved to him in the halls, or even talked to him throughout his years on campus.

Now, things were different because Yixing had feelings for this boy, and he couldn’t let them all spill because there was just too much to worry about. But Taewoo walked and talked as he followed behind. It was nothing he ever imagined.

“Where are we going?” Yixing asked.

“My favorite place at 3:23PM,” Taewoo answered as he opened the door to the coffee shop that he spent too much time in lately. His eyes stared at the counter where Jeonghan was drying mugs with a smile on his face. Nodding at Taewoo, he glanced at Yixing with a smirk on his face. And as Taewoo approached the register, Yixing finally undid their fingers.

He was lucky that Doojoon wasn’t working this afternoon. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if he was working. Taewoo reminded him so much of Doojoon, but in a better way like there was a chance for the two of them to be together. But looking at the back of his head, there was no way for him to like him like that, right?

Yixing worked too hard, he did too little to take care of him, and was honestly too busy to be looking at a person like he looked at Taewoo. He could have anyone he wanted in the world, but for now, he was being sweet to a guy like himself. It just made sense to him. It would be easier to believe that than to believe he was interested in him any other way.

“A 12 oz. americano for the pretty boy over there, and a 12 oz. drip coffee for myself,” Taewoo ordered. Jeonghan nodded his head before the two of them headed up the red spiral stairs, the same balcony that Jongdae and Yixing stared from on that first week of classes. When Taewoo sat him down, all the stories came out.

“You’re doing fine, Yixing. You excel at any test, and whenever I see you doing work in the library, I’m always impressed that you’re that studious. You can’t get every single one right, and that’s okay. I tried that for years in college,” he started as they sat down at the table. Yixing with a yellow mug and Taewoo with a sky blue mug, they drank. “It almost killed me. Always thinking I had to reach these expectations, always wondering if I was ever going to be able to be achieve everything with that 4.0. There were too many nights when I locked myself up in my room instead of spending time with others, or laughing with others just so I could grab all those good grades. And what for? I don’t remember. I just remember that I didn’t do a lot of things I wanted to do because my academics were just much more important.

But in time, I realized that these grades were only supposed to take me to a higher place. I didn’t need the best grades if I was just trying my best to actually learn and understand what I was doing,” he started. In the silence, they both drank from their coffee.

“I say this, but I don’t know if it’ll make sense until it actually happens to yourself. And when that moment happens, I’ll be proud of you. But for now, I’m sure you’re doing fine. Whenever I looked over your shoulder, you were doing just fine with the material. I would never expect less from you.” It was something that he didn’t expect to hear, and his worries eased away. Taewoo gave him a little grin while he started to drink his coffee again. “However, if you need help. You know my office hours. Don’t feel scared to get some help,” he added before smiling once again.

For once, he felt some kind of warmness in the pit of his stomach when he said all of this. Cheering their mugs together, he couldn’t help but eased into some kind of sweetness when Taewoo looked at him like that so kindly. Even though his stomach was just filled to butterflies, he knew it was short-lasting.

“I gotta get going, I gotta meet up with a student, but I’ll see you on Tuesday for the project, right?” Taewoo asked after a while. There was a nod from Yixing, and just like that he zoomed out of there while Yixing was left alone. However, one of the workers came up to wipe down those tables, and it wasn't Jeonghan, it was Doojoon, the boy he was just thinking of.

“So Taewoo and you?” he asked as he got to his table. Shrugging his shoulders, Yixing sipped away on his coffee. Most of the time, he would dwell into the topic but not when he was feeling ty and relieved at the same time. Doojoon sat down and smiled. “Hey, he’s lucky to have you. If it works out let me know,” he added with a punch on the shoulder. Doojoon went back to wiping down tables, and Yixing continued to watch. Years ago, he wanted Doojoon in his bed. But for some reason Taewoo made him feel all those butterflies and more. As he watched Doojoon clean, he only felt admiration and happiness for him. He was happy being friends with Doojoon and nothing else. How could he want anything else?