Present July 2017

When I think about it, still I have a hard time believing that it´s been five years since I debuted. If I look back it doesn’t seem to be that long, but sometimes it feels like is been a lifetime. When I passed the auditions and they told me that I should come to Korea I never hesitate. I hadn’t anything to lose.

There’s wasn’t absolutely anything in Los Angeles to stop me. At last I would leave behind the demons who tortured me for the simple act of breathing. I never wondered if I would really have a chance, if I had already managed to be alone for 16 years in my country. I was convinced I could do it anywhere, no matter in what part of the world I was. The first step was for someone to get me out of the hell I lived in. then, just have a real reason to get up every morning.

The first few months were hard. The agency managed to get me a place to stay. But I had to pay for my life expenses and working and studying wasn’t that hard. I had already done it in the United States, so doing it in Korea was nothing new. The language was difficult tho. I've never been good with a bunch of languages, and learning one that didn't even have vowels was a torture.

I've never been good at making friends, and being in another country didn’t help me either. With the pass of the years I can say that I had good acquaintances. But I really didn’t get to have a real friendship with anyone. Mainly because I was focused on passing all levels of the agency with the best scores, and I never was able to trust in anyone in there. In the end, we were all in the same situation. The best thing to do was always not create ties with anyone. Thus everything would be easier when the competition became real. It was killing or dying.

When my manager told me that I was gonna debut I felt so many emotions at the same time that I thought I would explode. On one side I was happy. Two years ago I was in the agency, and the rumors that you could spend your life there without making debut, was the daily live in training and classes.

I still remember feeling euphoric for days; I wanted to scream, laugh, and cry. I wanted to jump and run. I’ve been just a few times feeling that way. So it's not difficult to remember them.

I also remember that I was afraid. Only a few months ago a group of boys had officially debuted and, let's be honest. For boy bands everything is always simpler. Panic overtook me. I couldn’t help thinking that this could be the beginning of the end of my nonexistent career as an artist. Certainly I had already participated in some projects like Rookie, had collaborated with several of my colleagues, and the agency had been dedicated to promote my name well. Actually, Now that I think about it, it's strange that they spent so much time, effort and money on me. The image that I presented at that time and that I maintain until today is androgynous. Something that wasn’t at all common in Korea. I guess I was lucky to have had such a positive response.

The next few years everything went like a dream. After three singles, I had a mini album. Then more singles and finally a complete album. The days went by without me noticing what time it was. I lost track of days and nights. And so the weeks, the months and the years passed.

I can say that I had a great success and my name and face was recognized throughout Korea. And this is where I must thank all the events that made me come across my way with hers. Since despite being in the same agency, having shared when we were trainees and having worked on a couple of projects together, I could never engage in a real conversation with her. I think it was the only time I ever wanted to have a relationship with anyone.

Krystal Jung. She was the younger sister of one of the most popular group in Korea, The youngest and the visual of her group. She was a future star.

I never understood why she had this reputation for being cold and apathetic. Well it’s true that maybe it might be I little uncomfortable to approach her at first. It has always had a deep and cold look. Also, she’s not very talkative, but is just in the beginning. When she felt comfortable, she can be so sweet that you want to get her into your pocket and protect her from every evil thing in this world.

I must to confess that Krystal never caught my attention physically. I always thought she was too thin, sometimes not very healthy thin. But there’s was something about her that attracted me, perhaps the fact that when I saw her with the other girls in her group or her sister, she smiled a lot and always jumped and played like a little girl. In moments like these I thought, 'I wish she would behave like this with me.' I never imagined that a last-minute trip would take me to sit next to her and have the opportunity to travel twelve hours with her.

April 2015

"You know, I really don’t like this things of cover the others back. Tell me, what it supposed I'm going to do at a fashion show?"

"Don’t be like that, Amber. It’s only a few days, you'll have plenty of time to travel around Europe. You’ve always loved traveling. You should thank to me and be happy for this trip."

"It's a 12-hour trip. Plus this being a last-minute replacement is not nice and you know it."

"I know. But you were the only one that was available and it will make you some good advertising in fashion"

"I don’t know if you're trying to make me feel better or worse when you mention that I'm practically jobless these days. You better let me go through some places before I go back"

I certainly didn’t like the idea of traveling twelve hours to go to a fashion event. Just because the persons it was suppose to be there, had scheduling problems. I've never been very addicted to this fashion thing. I like to wear comfortable clothes, if I feel I look good on in it, is enough for me. I don’t care if it´s fashionable or not. As long as I like myself, the rest is worthless to me.

But hey, here I was arguing with my manager about the trip. At least I'd be to know some places in Europe. Which have always caught my attention and I could never know for lack of time. If I am honest, I had no idea who was going to the event. I was not interested in nothing but being a tourist.

Once on the plane already sit in my seat, my manager tells me that apparently there was a problem with the seats and he wouldn’t go with me. Great! In addition to going on a mandatory trip I would have to travel with a stranger next to me for twelve hours. The only thing I was wishing at that point it wasn’t someone who snored.

The minutes passed and nobody came, so I thought maybe the person wouldn’t come and I could tell my manager to change the seat. I wasn’t sure how much time has passed after putting on my headphones, when I feel someone touching my shoulder to get my attention. When I opened my eyes and saw who was speaking to me, I couldn’t help but be nervous, for some reason that I couldn’t understand at that moment. I wasn’t able to react like a normal human being.

"Good Morning"

"Hi"

"... I'm sorry to bother you but I think that's my seat"

"... Really?"

"Yes ... would you give me permission to sit down?"

"Oh... Sure. I'm sorry. I think I'm still half sleep. I'm sorry."

"I was supposed to sit next to my manager but apparently something happened to the seats."

When she shows me where her manager is, I realize that is where mine is. So I guess our seats got mixed up and both managers ended up together, Just like Krystal and I did it. When we realized, both managers greet us and we both looked at each other and laughed.

"Well. I guess there's nothing we can do for now. I'm sorry you had to travel with me."

"Eonnie, you say it like if I didn't like you."

“I’m sure you'd rather travel with someone else."

"My mother was supposed to come with me, but she couldn’t travel today"

"It's a pity. I promise not to bother you nor boring you. At least we know to each other. It would be awful travel with some stranger for so long time"

Krystal gave me the most beautiful smile that dulls covering seconds later. I couldn’t help being a little nervous and ask if I should talk to her or leave her alone.

"Eonnie, can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure. As long as is no give you my headphones, because I didn't bring others."

"Of course not, I got mine. I just wanted to ask you if we can change seats, I don’t like the window"

"Are you serious? Battles have been fought for it and you want to change this seat?"

“The truth is don’t like flying much, and looking out the window makes it more complicated"

"Oh well. For me there’s no problem. But with one condition"

Krystal looks at me with a face so tender she looks like a little girl to whom you're going to give her a treat.

"I know we're not that close, but at least when we meet in more informal places, could you just call me Amber?"

"Are you sure?"

"You would do me a favor. I remember telling you before when we were at the Christmas concert a few years ago. We don’t have that much difference in age. It’s okay if you just call me Amber. That way I don’t feel so old"

"You're not old.

"Thank you. The seat is all yours, Krystal."

"Soojung..."

"Sorry?"

"It's okay if you just call me Soojung. It's also more comfortable for me."

"Oh. Great."

After a while, I started playing with my cell phone and when Krystal saw it. She was surprised to see that I had pictures of a movie called ´HER´. We spend hours talking about movies and soundtracks. I realized that we have very different tastes, especially in music. And I couldn’t help but notice how passionate is when she talks about something she loves.

All the time she was talking I barely spoke, because when she told me about these films, her eyes glittered. I swear that her whole being glowed. And I thought it would be a sin to turn off that light with a stupid comment. So I just listened to her and memorized every detail of her face. After a few hours we decided to get some rest, since it would be a chaotic arrival due to schedules.

"Soojung?"

"Eonn ... Amber"

"You better not snore"

"Yah!"

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Hi. This is kath.

I just wanted to thank everyone who has read, commented, subscribed and voted for this story. Thank you very much. Feel free to continue doing it. I like to know that there are people who enjoy reading as well as I enjoy writing.

I know that the chapter can be very long and boring. But it is necessary so that they can better relate to Amber and to have better details of how the relationship of our beloved Krystal and amber began.

Greetings and keep reading! ^^v