Noviembre 2015


It's been three days since the discussion with Krystal and I haven't talked with her yet. Three days in which I've broken my head thinking whether I should look for her or not. Sometimes I think I shouldn't give it that much importance.
I can talk to her when I come back from my trip, right?

But for some reason I keep thinking over and over again about everything she has done for me. I watch the protector of my cell phone again and again and I can't get the memory of Krystal's gaze out of my head, when I told her that I wouldn't be there in her special day.

It's really hard for me to have friends or any kind of relationship. I feel that the more I approached people, the more difficult it's to relate. So far, it has worked well for me to always keep a margin with others. It was enough, until now.

But suddenly this... this pretty girl that looks so cold and distant. But when she smiles her eyes become half moons. This girls who Cares about small details such as if I have eaten well or why I have so many dark circles under my eyes... suddenly, this cold and distant girl, became in someone warm and close. She became In those brilliant dawns, by which you know it will be a great day.

That's why a few hours ago I decided to leave my pride aside and call her. I didn't have good results. She never answered me. She could have been busy or she could still be angry ... how long can a girl be upset?

Finally I decided it. After analyzing the pros and cons, I realized that I want to keep Krystal in my life. Without realizing it, she became a great support and maybe I'm thinking too much. But I feel there's a kind of connection... there's a bond that united us.

Days later...

"Are you sure this is gonna work?"

I ask once again to my accomplice. I know I'm making a fuss but I'm really nervous.

"For the tenth time, Amber. I've already told you. YES. unless you've done something to spoil it. did you?"

"Of course not. I've done everything as we planned. Jessica"

"Yah, what about the Unnie word?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really nervous. it's the first time I've done this."

"Are you serious?"

Jessica looks at me like I was speaking to her in Chinese. I only respond by moving my shoulders. And I low my sight a little.

"I'm not good at making friends"

Jessica approaches me and puts her hands on my shoulders. Her face of disbelief changes to an amble and understanding look.

"Just relax. Ok. we already talked to my parents, and we managed to get in touch with a couple of her friends. the worst thing that could happen is that she discover about the party before. but don't worry, she'll love it."

"Thanks for helping me with this."

"And missing the chance to surprise her and then make fun of my little sister? Pffff... of course I'll help you"

"Your motivations aren't the most fraternal. Did You know it?"

As you can see, the idea is to surprise Krystal with a small surprise party. Just like she did to me. Yeah, I know. I'm not very original. But she likes this things.

I remember she once told me that no one had ever done something like this for her. And not because nobody wanted to. Its just because Krystal suspects from everyone. so she always ends up discovering the surprise before. I hope to change that tonight.

The party will be at Krystal's house. I had thought of doing it in my apartment. But when I contacted Jessica and told her my plan. She talked to her parents and said it would be easier if we did it at her home.

So here I am, with my nerves on edge. This is my last attempt to fix things with that little brat Jung. If she's still mad at me after this, I don't know what else I can do.

"Ok. Amber, Mom called and said everything is ready. now we just need to go for the girls."

"Ok, send me the address and I'll go for them right away. and tell your mother she can ask me for absolutely anything for Christmas."

"Are you sure? Mom likes very expensive and exclusive things"

"I see where you got from"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing... nothing. just tell your mother. she's been amazing to me. it's the least Thing I can do for her"

"I've also helped you"

"I know and I thank you very much. but you have your own company and your designs and clothing stores in all parts of the world. there's nothing I can give you or do for you"

"I haven't stores in all parts of the world. Not in Europe for example"

I must have looked at Jessica with the biggest disbelief in the world. Because when she looked at me, she exploded in laughter. After laughing in my face for a few minutes and almost crying from laughing so much. She told me she was just kidding. But I'm sure that at some point she'll ask me for something as crazy as that. I hope Soojung values everything I'm doing for her.

After making sure that nothing will be missing. I went in search for Krystal's friends. I don't know them but according to Jessica, the three of them have been friends since they were in elementary school. And one of them was passing through Korea just to see Soojung. I guess that's what you can call a real friendship.

YeonJae Choi (Silvia), lives in Korea. She returned a few months ago from her studies in the United States, so I went for her first. Then we went for YounGeun Yang, who is still studying overseas. So she's staying in a hotel. At least until today.

The thing is that Soojung doesn't know that YounGeun is in the country. She came to surprise Krys. Luckily Jessica contacted her before she spoke with Krys and we arranged everything to be a big surprise.

Finally it's almost time. Krystal has been out all day for the preparations of the new album. Just this week will begin to record a program that will be released online. So there's not be another chance to do this.

"All right, all right. Soojung is on her way. are you read Amber?"

"Of course... not. Oh god. I think I'm going to throw up"

"Relax. it's just a surprise party"

"Jessica. Krystal at this moment hates me. what happens if she throws the cake in my face or worse yet. what if she Throws me the candles... on?!!! "

"Don't worry. I'll have my cell phone ready to register everything... AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME JESSICA?!"

"Ouch! Ouch! I'm sorry. I swear I will not do it again... But please let go of my ear... Jessica UNNIE...!"

"Okay. Wait, when you say it like that, it sounds weird. Say it again."

"Jessica Unnie"

"Did you felt chills too?"

" A lot."

"Ok. It's sounds weird. Let's just do this. you can call me just Jessica. but when we're in public, you'll have to call me Unnie. even if this give us gagging. Am clear?"

"Krystal clear. Just Jessica."

"You're... forget it. just go to your position. Soojung should be coming soon."

Now I'm about to collapse. What happens if Krystal gets mad over this? What if she wanted something smaller just with her family? Maybe I should go out from the back. Or through that window, I'm sure nobody would notice that I left and...

"... There she comes. Everyone quite, Silvia, turn off the light. Amber... Amber? Amber what the hell are you doing in that window? come here and take the cake!"

Oh god... oh god... oh god... I hope the cake doesn't fall out just as she enters. 'Please, Amber. now is when you must put your clumsiness aside'... I was so immersed in my thoughts when suddenly everyone shouted!

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"

I jumped out of fright, Krystal jumped out of fright, Mr. Jung, who went for her, jumped out of fright. Krystal dropped the things she was carrying in her hands. I almost dropped the cake full of candles that sparkle. If wasn't for Krystal's mom. there would have been nothing to turn off and surely there would only be more hatred towards me.

Krystal and I looked at each other. I smiled at her and she replied with a smile and a look full of things I couldn't decipher. But I didn't see anger. So I guess we can talk later.

And this is when I've always believed that the most fun and uncomfortable of birthdays happens. It's just that moment where you don't know where the hell to look. That moment where you're the center of attention of all those who are in a room. That moment where everyone sings to you happy and you don't know if you must look at others, look at the cake or just close your eyes. So usually you just smile and expect everything ends as soon as possible.

Finally Soojung made her wish and blow the candles. Because I was holding the cake, I couldn't get close to her to greet her and everyone began to greet her and hug her, so I went to the kitchen to look for some things. And to get away a little. It disturbs me the idea of so many people gathered in one place. Besides, I feel like I was in my house already.

"You Shouldn't be taking a flight?"

" I should be. And I will do. I must be at the airport in... five hours"

Since I was looking for cutlery and my back was facing the door, I turned around to see who was talking to me and making fun of her. But when I saw her standing at the entrance to the kitchen with the most tender smile I have ever seen, I was speechless. My heart skipped a little. And suddenly forget how to breathe. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Are you not gonna wish me a happy birthday?"

"It Depends. if I approach to you. will you hit me?"

Krystal is definitely like a little girl. She didn't answer me but she smiled shyly, low her gaze and shook her head denying many times. I approached her and against everything I think about physical contact, I hug her.

"Happy birthday, loser"

She just returned the hug without saying anything. It must be because I don't like the physical contact. But my heart had a party in my chest. I hope Krys hasn't noticed it.

We stayed like that for a few seconds. Maybe it was minutes. I just separated from her when I heard Jessica say something and take a lot of pictures.

"I'm glad you have finally reconciled. you have no idea how annoying it's to have this little girl wailing every day of not knowing how to talk to you again"
"Unnie!!!, that's not true. Don't say that. It's not true."

"Sure. of course. then it must be another Amber that you miss so much."

"So, did you miss me that much?"

"Shut up. Don't listen to her. it's not true."

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw Krystal's face turn red and try to cover it with her hair. In the end she just gave me a little push and went with Jessica to the living room.

It was a lovely evening. I can say that Soojung had a great time. Because I saw her smile all night long. She talked a lot with her friends and every time our eyes met, she stuck out her tongue. I guess I'm already forgiven.

At about dawn I helped a little to order and I offered to take Silvia back to her house, while YounGeun would stay at Krys' house.

"Hey Jung. I have one more surprise for you."

"Really. You feel that guilty?"

"Little brat"

Krystal stuck out her tongue, took my hand and ran with me to her room. When we entered she saw the gift on her bed. When she saw such a big box she was surprised and hurried to open it.

"Getting it was harder than I thought it would be, so I hope you take care of it."

"You said it wasn't able anymore."

"And so it is. I had to move all my contacts to get it. I killed a lot of people for it."

During one of our nightly talks Krystal told me that she wanted one of these turntables. Not the new ones. But a real one, one of those that existed in the 60's. It was an odyssey to find it. Luckily during one of my excursions in the city I found a place where they repaired and sold these things. After weeks of insistence I managed to buy it.

"Thank you"

she told me thank you with a tone that I never hear before for her. I think she was too surprised. But I can't be sure.

While I stayed in the doorway of her room, she stood with her back to me and facing her bed watching the turntable. The truth is I thought she would be a little happier or more excited to see it. But I guess that's how she reacts to these things. At least I know she liked it. Then I approached to her.

"Krys, about what happened last week ..."

"... I'm sorry..."

"... I'm sorry..."

I couldn't help but laugh. Lately we always talk at the same time.

"Can I speak first?"

Krys finally turns around and beckons me to sit next to her in her bed. Of course it's she who starts talking first.

"You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault, I know you can't do anything when trips are scheduled like that. I don't know why I reacted like that. I guess I really wanted to go out this weekend."

"If I'm honest i think you overreacted a little. Quite a lot. the truth is that it was a lot. but it's okay. I'm not mad. I never was. But I was confused. I had never argued with anyone in this way. I never cared if others were angry with me "

"Does that mean I'm special?"

"You have a strange way to apologize"

"I'm just kidding. I'm so sorry, Amber. I saw your missed calls and I wanted to call you back. but this week has been crazy. I'm barely come home and it's just to change my clothes and leave again."

When krystal confesses this. Her gaze is fixed on her foot.
which doesn't stop playing with the carpet. So I also ended up looking at her foot and her hypnotizing sway.

"I know. I talked with your sister to know how You were doing all these days."

It never ceases to amaze me how easy it's for this girl to change her mood. She just was spoke in a low and shy tone while she apologized and from one second to another, she jumps, stands in front of me and points a finger at me

"Are you serious? Does that mean that if I'm special to you?" Accept it, Amber Liu. You can't live without me."

"Maybe. what are you gonna do about it?"

She just stares at me. As if she was thinking about what to say. I stand up and stand in front of her. I'm a few inches taller, so she looks up a little. We both stare at each other with a smirk on our faces. Finally I'm the one who breaks the weird moment.

"It would be better if I left. your friend must be bored waiting downstairs"

We go down to the first floor. I said goodbye to everyone, and before getting into the car I said goodbye to Krystal.

"I'm sorry I didn't invite your boyfriend."

"Stop saying that. I told you, it's not my boyfriend. we just went out to eat a couple of times."

"You like him?

"I don't know, it's different from the other guys I've met, we're very similar"

"So, you like him?"

"Why do you want to know whether I like him or not?"
"I don't know. I guess I want to know if I should hate him or not for taking my best friend away"

"That's not gonna happen stupid. even if I date him, or anyone else. I wouldn't let you go. Who would buy me everything That I want?"

"Your new boyfriend."

"Nope. you are my servant. you're the only one who can do it"

"I will try to take that as a compliment"

"Believe me, it is. Princess Krystal never leaves her servants behind"

"At least I'm not your slave, although for that matter it's the same... I'm sorry you had to celebrate your birthday before, but it's already past twelve, so technically it's already your birthday"

"Thanks for everything, you really surprised me"

"I know. believe me your face of surprise and fear was great, and I'm glad to know Jessica will never let you forget it."

"You get along very well with my sister now, right?"

"I already feel part of your family. I will ask your mother to adopt me."

"Forget it. Mom doesn't want pets"

"Ha ha. I'll accuse you with greenpeace for mistreating the llamas"

"I prefer cats... Thanks for everything Amber. I Really appreciate it."

"You're welcome princess. Just don't stop talking to me again. Ok, I felt very lonely these days with no one to annoying."

"So it's true that you can't live without me?"

"You may have domesticated me Jung Soojung ..."

Krystal gave me a cute look of confusion. Obviously she didn't understand my reference. It's okay. I think with that I already told her a lot.

"Sometimes you are very weird Liu."

"It's part of my charm, Jung..."

"Remember, you'll have to go to see me next week."

"Don't worry. it's the first thing on my list. I'll find something interesting to bring you from NY."

"I hope so"

"Good night, ugly girl"

"Good night, llama face"

And this was like a long week it ended and another started.

I remember that during the flight to NY I almost didn't dream. No nightmares, no bad memories. Only the blurred image where I saw myself walking through a green meadow, full of flowers of many colors, a nice breeze and the warm sun on my face. Beside me, someone was holding my hand and I felt a warm feeling. I remember a smile, a beautiful and bright smile. I never heard a voice, but I knew it was saying my name. A sweet voice was saying that it loves me...