When The Moon Creates Shadows - Part IV

After a few days, before I knew it, the week was already gone and we only had one night left to go back to Korea.

Conversations with Krystal kept spinning in my mind. I really don't know when I became so obsessed with this girl. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. But I was afraid of showing too much interest in her.

I ruffled my hair in frustration at my thoughts, as I sit in the kitchen drinking a glass of milk to sleep.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind these days."

Again I didn't realize that Krystal was next to me watching me intently.

“You have a strange habit of spying on me, Jung”

“I’m not spying on you, you're in the kitchen. A common place Where everyone can see you, I might add. I just came for something to eat. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

"Not really. But I know you're going to ask me anyway."

"I won't. Not this time. I already told you what I think, and I told you that you could and I would like you to trust me. But if you don't want to, I can't force you."

"… It's not that I do not want to. But it's not easy for me to talk about what's happening to me, because I don't even understand it myself. I am a little confused. Honestly.. I.. I think that maybe, theres a slight posibility that I'm interested in someone."

“Oooh! Are you serious? Do you like someone? Because if so, I'm more than interested, Liu. Now step aside and tell me everything."

“You like gossip very much, you know”

"Of course. Who doesn’t? Now tell me who he is, how he is, where he is from. I want to know everything”

"I'm already having regrets on this. Do not make me regret it"

“Awww. Come on. Tell me. I promise not to tell anyone. I swear for your hair falls out”

"Okay... wait! what!? My hair!? That doesn't give me much confidence from you, Jung."

“Shush. Zip it. Now tell me all about your crush”

I debate with myself for a few seconds about whether or not I should talk about this precisely with her. After a few eternal seconds and her insistent and intense look, I decide to tell her. Avoiding her gaze and playing with the glass in my hands, I try to talk about it without naming her. Maybe I can get this out of my head if I talk it over with someone.

“I will not give you names. But yes, I think much to my regret, I like someone. Someone with whom I feel very comfortable and with whom I can really be myself, without being judged. This person is very kind and warm. this person has a very cute and adorable smile. And when this person smiles, a real smile. Its eyes form a crescent moon, which makes me smile too. This person has a bad habit of invading my personal space, but I got so used to it, that now I miss the contact if i don't have it"

"I'm not very expert on the subject, but I think it sounds like you're in love"

“Ha!!!… NO. I'm NOT in love. It's just a weird fascination, like an obsession or something."

“Sounds more to me like you’re falling in love. There is nothing wrong with it, Liu.”

“How do you know it’s not obsession? Have you ever felt that way?"

"Maybe..."

"Maybe?"

"Yes, Maybe."

"Maybe? Is that the only thing you will tell me? You are the devil Krystal Jung. I confess something very, very, very personal, and you just tell me maybe”

“I never said I would tell you my secrets”

Krystal sticks her tongue out at me adorably before turning and stepping out of the kitchen. But before she leaves, she turns around again and speaks to me in a friendly and kind tone.

“I may have felt like you before. But I never did anything about it. I hope you don't let an opportunity like this pass you by... You know, everything you said about this person you like, it's very cute. He's lucky that you notice him and feel all those nice things about him."

For “him”... a simple word that was burned into my mind, while I see Krystal's delicate back walking away through the kitchen door I sit there, with my glass of milk still undrinked, thinking and feeling even worse before to talk with her. "He". It's normal to think it's a he, right. It is logical, that’s the regular.

Feeling somewhat defeated, I go up to my room and go in without turning on the light, sitting on the bed sighing deeply, not wanting to sleep or even trying to, knowing I won't be able to.

"You like to get depressed?"

“MY GOD, KRYSTAL. ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SCARE ME?

"It's your fault for entering the room as a ghost without even turning on the light, you weirdo"

“You are the one who acts like a ghost always speaking from the corners and waiting for me in the room with the light off. Geez, one of these days I'm going to have a heart attack because of you."

“You are very dramatic Liu. I was just coming to see you and talk to you."

"What do you want?"

“Wow, how kind. Nothing in particular, just to see if you wanted to see a movie or something."

"I guess so."

"What a mood you bring today, Liu"

“Shush”

We both laugh realizing I'm copying Krystal. I throw a pillow in her face, and I wait she brings her things so we can watch a movie.

She throws herself on the bed, while I stay sitting on the floor, with my head resting on the back of it. A chair plays as a table where we put the notebook over it, watching HER for the thousandth time.

I'm so focused on the movie, that I didn't notice that she moved dangerously close to my face, so when I turned my head a little, I was only a few inches from her face.

I stared at her features for a few seconds, lost in the details that I find cute about her. Going through her lips, her nose, that mole on her left cheek, to finally meet her eyes that are nailed to mine.

Neither of us avoided eye contact for a few seconds. Then my sight unconsciously travels from her eyes to her lips and vice versa. Suddenly I forget everything around me, and as if her lips were a magnet, without realizing it I was slowly approaching to her, feeling her warm breath against me. Letting our lips come together slowly and gently, almost like a tender brush. A strange feeling ran through my body. Something like a gentle tickle. Like a mild electric shock ran down my spine. Happiness, fear, desire to run, desire to hug her. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind when our lips met.

I knew I had to stop. I knew I was making the worst mistake of my life. I knew that this could cost me everything I had achieved so far. But the moment our lips touched, I lost it.

My brain shut down and left only the sensation of the warmth of Krystal's lips remained. The kiss was soft, slow, tender and innocent. I got lost in a cloud of softness and tenderness. Without realizing it, I held my breath and closed my eyes falling into a kind of trance. It felt like when you kiss the pads on the paws of baby kittens.

I felt as if we had spent hours like this, even though it was only a few seconds. But I swear it felt like forever.

I separated from the source of life that sustained me at that moment, fearing the worst. But she followed me. Our lips met again, this time my hand moved on its own and reached the softness of her face. This time the kiss was with more desire, more eager, much more passionate. Our noses collided, and just when I felt like I was going to lose it again. A slight sound woke us from our trance.

We parted away abruptly and Krystal leaned back and looked at me like she'd made a mistake. Fault. Terror. And the worst I could see in her eyes. Repentance.

Her cell phone continued to ring. She answered it without taking her eyes off me.

Then she got up and walked to the door. And I stayed the same way she left me, sitting on the floor. With the feeling that a black hole had absorbed part of me.

I didn't know how much time passed, Krystal turned and without looking at me she took her things and left the room. I knew I had to reach her. To talk with her. But how? My legs weren't responding and I couldn't stand up, much less make a sound to call her. I just sat on the floor, with the background sound of the movie we were watching. Looking at the place where she disappeared from the room.

The hours passed, it must have been early in the morning when I was able to move and force myself to throw myself on the bed, obviously without the hope of being able to sleep.

I felt so confused. I had never done anything like this before. I do not know what happened. But now I couldn't stop thinking that maybe I'm in love with her. It's possible? I mean, is it possible that I didn't notice it until now?

What will happen now? It is obvious that we will no longer be friends. She must hate me. She must be grossed out by me. If I were her, I'd be grossed out.

Nice. It's the first time I managed to have a real friendship and I mess it up by confusing things.

Should I talk to her, or maybe I should leave the things just like this and...

NO! Obviously I have to talk to her. But how? What do I tell her?

Hey Krys! I'm sorry I discovered my uality with you. How about we forget I kissed you and go back to being friends? Of course. That sure would work...

I spent hours like this, until I heard movement on the stairs and outside. The Jung were preparing to return to Korea.

Very reluctantly I got up and prepared to put my things down as well. From the stairs I could see Krystal lowering her bags, I wanted to get closer to help her. But she refused and left the house carrying her bags by herself.

We eat breakfast in silence. I avoided looking at Krystal at all the time, she did the same, and as we got into the car, I was careful to not to be sitting next to her.

During the trip to the airport I spent time thinking about how I would fix things. Should I talk about what happened to her, or should I just act like nothing happened?

Already on the plane I had to sit next to Krystal, since no one noticed the wall between us now. Krystal's ability to ignore me, even sitting next to her, was amazing. The whole trip she just acted like I wasn't there. It was for the better, I guess. I wasn't ready to face the fact that I would never see her again, or deal with her.

The trip lasted just over two hours, of which I slept for most of the trip. When I woke up we had landed and Krystal was already up from her seat. I said goodbye to her family and saw her get into the car without even turning to look at me.

That would be the last time I'd see her