When The Moon Creates Shadows - Part I

December 2015

Winter has always produced this feeling of melancholy in me. I guess it's for the gray days, the rain and the cold. It may also be because the holidays are close.

Christmas.

I have no memorable memories of these dates. It has always been a day like any other. When I was little, I used to work. In general, most people prefer to rest and spend time with their families, so it's a well-paid date for working extra shifts.

This is how I spent my Christmas before coming here. Even in Korea, I have tried to keep busy during these dates, just to not feel the loneliness that sometimes I can get.

Until now.

"What will you give me for Christmas?"

"Should I give you something?"

"Of course, it’s your duty"

"Am I Santa Claus?"

"Pffff ... of course not, you're a reindeer, actually you’re a llama. But that's not the point. What are you gonna give to me?"

"So, I'm obligated to give you something just because it's Christmas?"

"Obviously."

"Your logic is very ... How about my best wishes?"

"I wanna a book."

"Is not my friendship and best wishes enough for you?"

"Actually I want you to take me to a place."

"Now I'm your driver?"

“Let’s go next week. Please?"

"It's strange how you give orders with a 'please' "

"It would be perfect next week"

"You are ignoring me"

"I've been free for a couple of days"

"I can’t"

"Friday would be fine"

"I have plans"

"We could tell the girls if they want to go"

"Krystal, stop ignoring me"

"I write to them right away to see if they can go"

"I told you I can’t ..."

I stare at Krystal's reaction. She keeps ignoring me while she’s still writing on her cell phone.

"You don’t believe me, right"

"Nope"

"Do you know I have no plans?"

"Of course, you never have them"

"When did you get to know me so well?"

"Sometimes you can be very simple, Liu"

Does Krystal really think I'm simple? I think it's the first time someone tells me that. And since when she knows me so well? I look at Krystal again, and I think about how much I've changed this year. I still have a hard time trusting others, or asking for help. I still want to be alone most of the time. But whenever Krystal or the other girls in the group invite me to a meeting, don’t mind me go out for a while.

During their promotions I went to see them almost every day. I know that they have made a great effort. Even Luna and Krystal have been very ill from lack of sleep. I can’t do much more, besides bringing food to them and offering them my house to rest.

I never believed that just one person could change my world and the way I perceive things. Krystal Jung is a very special person. I wonder if she realizes the impact she has on those around her?

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my nose.

"Ouch"

"I'm talking to you. Why do you ignore me?"

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking"

"What were you thinking?"

"You don’t want to know"

"If I didn’t want to, I would not ask, stupid ... Nightmares?"

"Nope"

"You don’t wanna go?"

"Krystal, it's nothing. You know I'm always willing to get away from the routine. What did the girls say?"

"They are already packing"

"Are you sure you shouldn’t rest these days?"

"Soon it will be Christmas. Luckily there is nothing scheduled, so we can take a break."

"Ok. If so, then I'll be happy to be the designated driver"

"Are you sure it's okay? If you don’t want to go, there's no problem."

"Now you don’t want me to go?"

"It's not that, it's just that I don’t want to ..."

"... If you don’t want I'm not going. I'll be alone, sad and abandoned here."

"I didn’t say that, I just thought ..."

"... Now you do not want me to go. It’s ok. Take your boyfriend then. He must drive better."

"Oh my God Amber! Why do you always have to say that? You really want me to take him, because it would be very easy just ask him and..."

"It's very easy to make you angry, you know?"

"Are you just annoying me? I can’t believe it... You just wanted to make me angry?"

"Of course, it's like a sport. It should be a sport"

"Sometimes you're just so... you already put me in a bad mood. You’ll have to invite me to eat”

“I’m gonna do it anyway, as always. Come on, princess, I'm starving."

I really don’t care where this girl wants to go, Or if I should always invite her to eat. Our relationship is like that. I make her angry; she takes advantage of me and my money. But in the end of the day, when we can sit down and relax to talk about how everything went, I'm glad to know that she can trust in me. Sometimes she calls me to tell me things that have happened to her, sometimes I do. Friendship is something curious.

"What will you do for Christmas?"

"I don’t know. I guess the same as always, maybe I'll go to a club or something."

"Don’t you have anything scheduled?"

"Nothing. My schedule has been pretty empty these days"

If I had paid more attention I think I would have noticed how Krystal's gaze fixed on me. I would have noticed that there was something different in her look. I noticed she wanted to tell me something, but she couldn’t find the words.

After a few minutes I felt her staring at me.

"What?"

"Do you want to spend the holidays with me? I mean, with my family?"

"Why?"

"Normally a person would respond with a ‘of course, I’d love it' or a 'it would be great, thank you' "

"I think I've made it very clear that I'm not normal, and I ask again. Why?"

"Just because, you don’t have plans and my family appreciates you, Why not?"

"Because it's just that, something familiar, I wouldn’t like to intrude."

"What are you talking about? Of course you’re not. The truth is that we will go to Japan and I thought you’d like to spend the holidays doing something different"

"I guess it could be. But first you must ask your parents. I wouldn’t like to be an unpleasant surprise"

"I already did it and they loved the idea"

"Did you ask them already?"

"Yes"

"When?"

"A few days ago, we were talking about you"

"Do you talk to your parents about me?"

"Sometimes. Mom asked me how you were doing, since you haven’t been home for a while, and she asked me what you would do for the holidays"

"I don’t know what to think about the fact that you talk to your family about me."

"We just talk ok, Nothing bad. I just told my parents how bad you’re treating me"

"Oh, I understand. I had forgotten that I’m a horrible ogre that mistreated princesses. I never take them to eat and I treat them so badly that they must hit me."

"Exactly"

"You are very strange Jung Soojung"

"Then? Will you come?"

"I'll think about it."

"Why? You already said you have no plans"

"Because ... It's just that ..."

"You don’t like Christmas?"

"Why I shouldn’t like it? I'm not the Grinch, you know. It’s just that I've never spent Christmas with friends or family. I've always worked"

"So what’s better than your first time be in Japan?"

"That sounded completely wrong"

"Do you think?"

Krystal gives me that smile full of mischief and then takes food from my plate, acting as if she hadn’t said anything. I try to eat from her plate, failing, of course. Krystal can share many things with me, but not her food and her dessert, especially her desserts.

Weeks later.

Finally the day arrived. In the end I decided to spend Christmas and New Year with the Jungs. The truth is that I had decided not to go. But a few days ago, Krys’s mother called me to invite me personally. After several arguments, which I couldn’t discuss, I ended up saying yes.

So, here I am, With Krystal and Jessica trying to ski. But I think the correct thing would be to say that I’m trying to stay on my feet.

I don’t think I've ever mentioned that I'm bad at this kind of sports, right? I like adrenaline, especially speed. The skateboard is one thing, but the snow ... should definitely stop before the girls suffer an attack or something from laughing so much at me.

Jung sisters. They’re really interesting. Both of them are very different in many ways; music, movies, food, clothes ... however, when they’re together they are really happy. Krystal's face lights up, and goes from being that distant and always perfectionist girl, to this sweet, childish and adorable girl.

Their parents consent them a lot. With just one look at their parents and these cede immediately to their little and spoiled whims.

Watching them these days I have realized that they are happy. They try to lead a life as simple and calm as possible. They move away from all the noise and crowds. In fact, their house is located in a quite secluded and exclusive place. I guess if you have money you can live wherever you want.

Now I'm sitting in front of the big window in Krystal's room. Seeing how Jessica and her father try to make a snowman. But I think they haven’t agreed who makes what, because the body is much smaller than the head, making it look completely disproportionate.

I must be very deep in my thoughts because I didn’t feel Krystal entering the room. I only feel when she throws herself on top of me and hugs me from behind. My immediate reaction is that my body tenses. I know that here in Korea physical contact is quite common, but I still can’t get used to being hugged or touched.

"Krystal, what do we talk about hugs?"

"I don’t know. I don’t remember. What do we talk about?"

"Do you like annoying me right?"

"I love it... You were very involved in your thoughts. What did you think?"

"You always ask that"

"It's the only way I can know what's going on with that big head."

"I just was thinking..."

Krystal lets me go, stands in front of me and gives me that look with which she tells me that I must give her a concrete answer. Sometimes this girl can be very persuasive.

"... I was just thinking about your dad"

"Uh?"

"I mean in your sister"

"What?"

"I want to say in your family. I was thinking about your family, about the life you’ve have built. All of you look very close."

"My sister and I have been in the entertainment industry since we were little. Many times we had to spend birthdays and holydays separated, so when we have time we try to spend it together."

"You and your sister have created a beautiful relationship. She annoying you and you leave her, its perfect."

“You’re annoying too”

"Yes, but then you took revenge twice, Jung"

"I must get even with someone"

This brat, she says it as if it were nothing. I think she’s too comfortable with me now. There is no longer respect for the elderly ¬_¬

"Krystal, you're sure it's okay that I'm here?"

"It doesn’t bother me that you’re in my room"

"I'm talking about the house, are you sure I'm not a bothersome. Because if you want I can take a flight to Korea and ..."

"... Why do you keep up with that? If I hadn’t wanted you to be here I wouldn’t have invited you in the first place, so stop acting like a poor battered victim and help me set the table"

"Ok, Ok, I understand. Now can you let go of my nose, please? You and your girls have an obsession with noses."

It was a very pleasant evening. We ate and drank a lot. Mostly we drank a lot. I don’t have a very good tolerance for alcohol and I think the Jung sisters do not either, because the last two hours we've been laughing at absolutely everything.

We are enjoying what remains at night, very early in the morning. Jessica surrendered to Morpheus' arms and snores peacefully in the largest chair, while Krystal and I still chatted on the comfortable, furry white carpet that covers almost the entire living room.

"Very well Jung Soojung. It’s my turn and I want you to be very sincere. How many boyfriends have you had?"

"First you tell me"

"I asked first. Come on, be honest. You know I won’t tell anyone."

"I can’t tell you"

"You don’t trust me?"

"It’s just that… I just can’t"

"Oh, come on Soojung. I'm not gonna bother you or anything. Come on, tell me. Okay, let me guess. Two?"

Krystal shakes her head from side to side, denying it very slowly

"Three?"

Again, she moves her head. This time a little more energetically. Visibly embarrassed

"Oh my God Jung! Four? Have you had four boyfriends?! I can’t believe it ... you're a ..."

"Hey, you said you wouldn’t say anything."

"You're right. I'm sorry. It’s just that you surprised me. I could bet you dated a couple of guys, but four, FOUR!"

"Leave me alone. I’ll never tell you anything again"

"I'm just kidding. Wait, where are you going? Come on Soojung, don’t get mad. I was just playing ok. Come back here. I'm sorry."

Before she climbed the stairs I managed to reach her and take her by the hand to keep her from leaving, obviously still she’s somewhat embarrassed by my finding, then she asked me the same question.

"How many boyfriends have you had?"

"None"

"Bull"

“Language Soojung”

“Can’t be true”

"I swear. No relationships"

"Never? Not even one?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"That's a tough question. I don’t know. I guess I'm not very interested in romantic relationships now. I'm just learning how to have friends. I can’t imagine anything even more serious."

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

"Do pets count?"

"Amber!"

"This is not fair. Only you’re making the questions."

"This is the last one, I promise."

"Yes. I did it. Many times and I must say I never had any complaints"

"Oh my God, I can’t believe you said that."

"I’m just saying. My turn now"

"Have you ever fallen in love?"

"Never. The relationships I had before didn’t last long. I thought at some point that I was in love but, I think it was just an obsession. When we broke up, I didn’t care much."

"Your heart is frozen"

I was just trying to cheer you up a bit the mood but in return I got hit. This girl is very aggressive.

"What about Jongin?"

"Again with the same thing"

"I’m just asking"

"You’re like my sister now. We’ve dated several times, but only as friends. He’s very nice and I have a good time with him. But I can’t see him in a romantic way. I think he has other interests."

I can’t help but raise an eyebrow at that. For some reason, my heart skipped a little when I heard that she wasn’t interested in him.

"What about him? Do you think he likes you?"

"I don’t know and I don’t care. For now I'm too busy with my things to think about that, and I prefer to spend time with my friends… I like spend my time with you."

I couldn’t help smiling stupidly when I heard that, my first intention was to bother Krystal but her look was very serious. My smile was quickly erased and I became very nervous.

And suddenly I was aware that we were sitting on the stairs and somehow I was hugging Krystal around the waist. I hadn’t realized how comfortable we were until she settled down a bit and was right in front of me, only a few inches away.

As if that weren’t enough, I noticed how Krystal began to shorten that little distance even more. I could feel her warm breath touching my face. Her gaze was intense, so intense that I tried to lower my head and recover my sanity a little. The lack of personal space and alcohol, were wreaking havoc in my mind.

Krystal forced me to look at her, lifting my chin with her warm fingers and as if I was under the spell of something that I couldn’t understand, I was petrified. Then, with the sweetest and softest voice that seemed the whisper of an angel she asked me...

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

A/N: Okay. I know it's not much. There are still no real advances in the relationship, I know it. But it will come soon. Please be patient we almost got there.

I’m that it took so long to update, but many things have happened. And the truth is that I'm going to deal with a little complicated issue in a few chapters and Jonghyun's death also hit me hard.

Thanks to all who have waited and followed this story, despite the irregularity of the updates.

Take care and be happy :)