March 23, 2017

Seoul, South Korea

A phone is ringing in the background but Ji Chang Wook ignores it. Sooner or later Manager Bang or his new personal assistant will pick it up. He didn't want to risk speaking directly to yet another reporter asking about his new project. There had been an unbelieveable amount of hype since news of him signing up for the Romantic Comedy hit the press. Tabloids and media were making a Big Deal of the fact that this was his first ever romantic comedy and also the very last project before he headed to the military.

Now that things were falling apart, they smelled an even juicier story. Twice now two popular actresses had passed up on the project and people were starting to whisper. The producers were getting nervous with the filming date coming up fast. Some people blamed it on having a director who had only been an assistant director in the past. But Chang Wook knew PD Park Seon Ho from a previous project and greatly admired his work. From their first initial project meeting he had a good feeling they would work well together on set. 

There were other whispers too, about him, saying there must be a reason those actresses were refusing to work with him. He didn't give too much thought about those rumors. After all, he had been in the industry for almost a decade and there were always vicious voices trying to claw others down; where one star fell, another could rise. 

What he adamantly did not want to do though was drop this project. He admired the scriptwriter's past work including I Remember You which In Guk had worked on. His friend had high praise for Kwon Ki Young seonsang-nim especially her willingness to listen to the actors' thoughts and suggestion. The script for the new project proved she had a strong comedic sense yet the characters were compelling by themselves. It was different from anything he had done before; but felt tailor-made for him.

Chang Wook reached for his phone, automatically dialing Seo In Guk's number. The phone rang until it finally went to voicemail. He glanced at his watch. Perhaps it was too early in the day and his friend was asleep. Or maybe he was at the studio.

For the past few days In Guk had been working like a madman, trying to prepare one final single before his enlistment. They'd barely had time to meet. The last time they did catch up a few nights ago, In Guk had been acting strangely.  They'd all been several soju bottles deep into the night. Him, In Guk with 2Bic Jun Hyung and their Neighborhood Hyung. It wasn't every day one's bro headed off to the military and they were celebrating In Guk's last week of freedom.

As was his habit when he got drunk, Chang Wook would get emotional and ramble on. He'd already repeated a few times how much he f*king loved his friends and before long he started talking about her. He'd been kicking himself for not getting her number despite having had the perfect chance at the awards night. 

By some miracle he had managed to salvage the rest of that evening and hold up his end of a conversation with Ji Hyun after they were done with the stage. He sure as hell didn't know what he said. All he could think about was he owed some benevolent God for saving him from further embarassment.

That lightning bolt of awareness had made him take a long hard look at the feelings that had been slowly burning away at him. For how much longer would he be fine pretending he didn't want her? All this time he told himself he was being noble, sparing her from the heartache and suffering he would cause her. But maybe the truth was, he was a coward. Too scared to give whatever could happen between them a chance. 

It was hard to walk away afterwards. To pretend they were little more than strangers.  

And, he complained, In Guk was being a major prick, refusing to share her number with him. Saying it wouldn't be right to reveal a lady's details. And he would be correct too, damn his eyes.

He'd been speaking all his rambling, confused thoughts out loud, when In Guk stood up unsteadily, almost toppling over. The sudden scrape of his chair caused other heads to turn. 

"You..." he waved his hands unsteadily in Chang Wook's direction.

"You, you spineless bastard. Just do it already. I'm f*king tired of hearing this. If you want her, just f*king do something!"

As his friends looked at him in shock, In Guk grabbed his cigarettes and unsteadily walked away. Then he paused. He turned right back almost stumbling over Chang Wook. For a second he slumped over his friend. Then his blurry eyes lifted up to stare at him.

"God I want to hate you but I f*king love you, you stupid bastard. You're my best friend so let me tell you this. Do you know the one thing, the very one thing I'm thinking about right now, before tomorrow comes and I have to leave everything?"

In the silence Chang Wook just stared at him.

"It's not my Omma. It's not work, or money or that sweet motorbike of mine, which I sure as hell will miss. It's this. It's the fact that I... I love a girl, and I was too chicken sh*t to do anything. I never even told her I like her"

With this bombshell, In Guk slumped back onto his chair and laid his head down on his arms. As he closes his eyes, he mumbles almost too softly to hear, "...it's too goddamn late.."

The other three stared at him in shock; but, before long, a small snore escapes. The bastard had actually fallen asleep. 

"Did you know about this?" asks Chang Wook. The others shrug in confusion. In Guk had always been one to flirt with the ladies, but never seriously. Who knew he had been keeping such a secret inside?

Looking back now, Chang Wook feels a twinge of pain on his friend's behalf. If anyone knew how tough it was to hide away one's feelings, it was him. But In Guk's words stayed with him. He didn't want that to be him. Filled with regrets that it was too late.

A strong sense of urgency filled him, and if only he had her number he would have dialed it right now, damn the consequences.

God he missed her.

After the awards night he'd been swamped. He almost immediately had had to fly overseas for fan-meetings. First, to Thailand then over in Japan. In between he had countless interviews, magazine shoots and now this project. He had tried to catch a glimpse of her at the salon but she was never there. He'd even brazenly asked Hairstylist Noona, but apparently JiHyun was busy with college now. 

As he pondered this over, the solution suddenly seemed quite simple.

He didn't have her number, but he did have one other that would do the trick.

He picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts before stopping on one he had recently added. The dialtone rang a few times before being quickly picked up.

"Hello producer-nim. This is Ji Chang Wook"

They exchange pleasantries and after a few minutes, Chang Wook  got to business. He had a name in mind for the lead actress. No, please keep this conversation between them. He didn't want this story leaked and if it did, he knew who was doing the leaking. That last sentence was underlined with a quiet threat. Any producer worth his salt would know better than to get on a star's bad side. 

"Ah, her... was she Bokshil, in that one show with Seo In Guk-shi?" the producer asked.

Chang Wook confirmed this, and there was a small silence on the other end.

"Ah... right. Now Chang Wook-shi, it's not that I'm saying your idea doesn't have merit but the higher-ups here, they are looking for someone with.. a little more name recognition? Not me. Personally I think she's a great gal. But with the news that's been coming out we need something to hit it out of the park. In fact, I have an idol in mind - you'd be amazed to hear who it is. She is waiting for the perfect role and would say yes immediately"

Chang Wook sighed with impatience. For smart people, those money-counters were lacking in vision. He held firm. The producer threw up a few more excuses. Nam Ji Hyun-shi had been a child actor and audiences might not accept her doing hot scenes much less bed scenes. He suggested they get a few other names on the table. How about they conference with some others about it?

But Chang Wook was adamant. He had a good feeling about this and she was as talented as they get. He would not have suggested her name if he believed otherwise. He knew her work (had rewatched many) and for someone relatively young, she had a long and impressive list of awards.

"Ah... well, with a little makeup I think... no, what am I saying. Chang Wook, you seem pretty sure about this so I'll talk to the others. But I hope you know, if this project tanks, it's not only my name that will be on the line."

With that the producer hangs up and Chang Wook smiles to himself, knowing victory is his. He laughs a little in disbelief at what the producer had said. A little makeup? God, were these idiots blind? She was f*king gorgeous with or without makeup.

There is a light tap on his door and he turns around to see his mother peeking in.

"What?" she asks, seeing the huge grin on his face.

"Oh, nothing", he smiles and with a small laugh of delight he pulls her into the room and dances her around. His Omma looks at him at first as if he's lost his mind then she too laughs and twirls along. Ggoma, his Beddlington terrier who had been quietly napping in a sunny corner, wakes up with all the commotion and gives them a huffy look as if they both have truly lost it.

At this, Ji Chang Wook laughs again and affectionately hugs his mother.

He's decided, he's going to live without regrets.