March 24, 2017

Namyang-ju, South Korea

Was there anything more beautiful than the roar of a motorcycle speeding down a highway?

Chang Wook smoothly manuveured around a curve.  Then, seeing the road in front him clear, he revved his engine faster, thrilling at the feel of his powerful Moto Guzzi Racer flying up the road.

His Omma would nag him endlessly if she saw him, but taking out his precious bike was one of the few joys Chang Wook aimed to indulge in as much as possible before his enlistment. Usually he'd have Gukkie riding with him; but his friend had been strangely out of touch, only sending a few short texts here and there. Even the temptation of a bike ride couldn't lure him out. 

Seo In Guk was wrestling with some inner demons as he faced his enlistment, and there was nothing Chang Wook seemed to be able to do other than giving him the space he wanted. He didn't know if that made him a good friend or a bad friend, but In Guk probably wouldn't want him hovering.

As for himself, Chang Wook felt pretty calm about his own impending date. Serving the military was something every Korean male was expected to do and it was time he did his duty.

Maybe a few years ago it would have been much different. His twenties had gone by so fast while he had been busy chasing a living. He had been so anxious about securing a future for himself and his mom back then that he had had no time to consider anything else. The thought of leaving Omma all alone, and being gone before he had established himself at that time would have been terrifying.

Now though, he felt he could breathe a little easier. His management team would deal with the details and he felt ready to start a new chapter in his life. It was time to slow down and think about what Ji Chang Wook as a man and not as an actor meant. Going to the military would give him some breathing room away from the glamour and danger of the showbiz industry.

Timing-wise, it wasn't the most conducive to start a romance. Which was the understatement of the year. It was f*king terrible timing. But, he'd been wanting her for years now. And despite all his efforts to ignore it, the feelings would not go away. There was no way 21 months in the army would change that. 

He'd gone for a walk late last night trying to ponder things philosophically.  Scenario 1: he approaches her, she rejects him. He's no worse off. Scenario 2: He approaches her, she accepts him, he goes to the army and they break off. Still, he's no worse off. Scenario 3: He approaches her, she accepts him and they are able to make it work. That was the only scenario he wanted, obviously.

Then there was scenario 4. He does nothing, he goes to the army. He lives with these feelings for God knows how many more years hoping they'll fade away. Or worse still Scenario 5. He waits to approach her after he serves but she is taken by someone else. That one, that was the worst. In his mind he could see himself being an older perhaps sadder Ji Chang Wook. Maybe he'd be lucky and find another love, build a family and be a father. But even then, he knew he would always feel regret for the love he let go.

All of these anxious thoughts filled him with nervous energy, making him eager to do something. Which is why today he was out on his bike heading out to meet the Scooter bros. They were a ragtag group of friends he had collected over the years; each famous on their own right. But that was the thing about bike riding; when you had your helmet on you could be anyone or, for him, a no one. Just you and the road.

Sometimes the friends did meet up on their scooters. But today, he had felt the need for something faster.

He spotted the intersection that led to their campground meeting place and slowed down.  Some years ago one of them had suggested this spot in the outskirts of Namyang-ju, a good hour from Seoul. In the far country here, the roads were quiet and there were hardly any buildings in sight.

Which worked perfectly for him. He had needed to get away, otherwise he knew he would spend all day staring at his phone, waiting to hear if she said yes.

As he pulled up and swung off his bike, he saw only one person waiting, still dressed in riding gear, helmet and all.  The figure turned at the sound of his bike crunching over the gravel.

"Hyung!!!!"

Even before the helmet came off, he could already tell who that was and he silently groaned. Of course, it was the Pup. In a matter of seconds, a strong arm slung roughly across his shoulders and he was pulled into a tight hug.  Their helmets bumped together with a loud thud, causing Chang Wook to wrestle himself free with annoyance.

"Aish...!!! Yah!! Choi Tae Joon! You idiot"

"Oh, sorry Hyung"

His friend quickly took off his helmet then attempted to help Chang Wook out of his which resulted in a few more seconds of tussling. Finally Chang Wook managed to hold him off long enough to slip his helmet off.

He gazed sternly at his friend, then looked around hoping the others had arrived. 

"Where is Rae Won Hyung and JongHyun?"

"Ahh.. well. They had other schedules today so they couldn't make it. But.. you have me!"

This last was accompanied by another exuberant attempt to hug Chang Wook which he quickly evaded.

"Aish.. seriously Tae Joon. What's with you?"

"What? Just hanging out with my best bro. But, since you asked, I have great news I've been dying to tell you, Hyung"

"What is it?"

"Well," TaeJoon pouted slightly, "I would tell you, but I'm also mad at you"

"Ah you little... " Chang Wook rolled his eyes and sighed, but couldn't help laughing at the Pup's extra puppyish expression. "Ok, fine. Why are you upset?"

"Remember when we met last time?"  Which had been 3 days ago to be exact so of course he remembered, "You didn't tell me about your new project. I had to find out in the news"

Chang Wook thought about it and he guessed, that was true. He hadn't really mentioned it then but they were there to celebrate Kim Rae Won's new movie so he'd been busy with other things. Then again, what was with Choi Tae Joon? Was he being a stalker now?

"So, I get it. We didn't have time. So what do you want me to do? Talk about feelings? Shall I braid your hair while I'm at it?"

"Hyyyyunnng... I'm being serious here. Ok fine, fine. I'll tell you the news. Guess who's going to be second lead on your new project?"

The Pup grinned widely looking so obviously pleased with himself. Chang Wook stopped and looked at him with dawning understanding and not a little bit of horror.

"Nope. You're kidding. You're kidding?!"

"No, really. Isn't it great? You and me. We'll be a bro-team. I've always wanted to work with you Hyung. As soon as I heard they were still looking, I told my manager. 'I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!!' "

This time Tae Joon managed to successfully wrestle him into a hug. Chang Wook sighed in defeat. A small smile did cross his face though. Annoying as Tae Joon could be, he was a good kid. And to be honest, he was fun to pull pranks on because he would pull one right back at you. He'd have to do something about all this clingy-ness first though.

"Er, Hyung, you're buzzing me"

Chang Wook looked down in confusion for a second then realized his phone was ringing. He reached for the phone in his leather jacket. The Caller ID listed that it was his manager so he quickly pressed the answer button.

"Chang Wook. We got a reply"

Chang Wook paused for a second. For some reason he was nervous.

"So... did she say yes?"

"No"

"No?!"

"I mean, she didn't say yes but she didn't say no either. She wants to meet with you first".

His manager proceeded to tell him where and when then hung up.  Chang Wook flipped the phone back into his jacket and grabbed his helmet again.

"Sorry, Tae Joon. I've got to go."

With a few quick motions he started his engine and kicked his bike into gear, a million uncertainties running in his mind.