Waking up the next morning I wasn't all that surprised to feel arms hugging onto me tightly, but I was more surprised by the fact that Hyung was standing in the door way snickering. I swear no one knows how to knock nowadays, not like I really care all that much, but still privacy please. Sighing, I unwrapped Jackson from me as I climbed over him as I grabbed my phone looking at the time to see that it was noon and by the mass amount of text messages and calls I knew I was way back in my schedule. I forgot I even had one today. Rolling out of the bed, I went towards the door as I told him good morning before going into the bathroom as I quickly got ready trying to make sure that I didn't forget anything while at the same time trying to be 30 minutes or less. Leaving the bathroom, I ran into my closet putting on some casual clothes already knowing that I didn't have anywhere really important to be.

“Sorry. What’s on today’s agenda?” Slipping on my shoes, I made sure that I had everything on me as I patted my pockets.

“First, wake up Jackson because he’s going to be on the agenda with you, and then you have to go record the OST for that movie, and after that you are going to start preparing for your next album so that we can determine your next comeback and not have it so rushed this time.” Nodding I turned around throwing open my bedroom door causing him to spring up as he began rubbing his head causing me to laugh. “I’ll meet you down in the car!”

“Okay!” Turning I jumped back a little bit as Jackson was standing in front of me and looking him over I began wondering why I didn’t die right in this moment. “Uhhh…?”

“You have a schedule today? If I had known I wouldn’t, among other things, not dragged you out and kept you up late with your family.” Blinking a few times, I finally came to as I registered everything that he just said causing me to go grime at the reminder of yesterday.

“Uh, yeah I do and you’re coming with me. Do you have a schedule today as well?” I watched as he began fixing himself as I told him that if he wanted to I had a hoodie and a few shirts that were too big, and as he smiled before finding them I turned my back as I he began changing.

“I think I do, but I’m not really sure because a few days ago I had an audition for this new movie and I haven’t gotten a call back yet so I don’t think I’m busy. Why?” Feeling his hand on my shoulder I moved out of the way before peeking in on the other two as they were knocked out causing me to smile.

“No reason, just wondering because you are coming with me and that’s something new.” He nodded in agreement before running into the bathroom as he quickly freshened up before coming back out with the biggest smile on his face ever.

Going to the door I opened it as I waited for him as he quickly slipped on his shoes causing me to close the door softly as to not wake the other two up. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator I couldn’t hold my laughter as Jackson tripped down a few steps, but luckily he didn’t fall, and opening the door we entered the lobby as I greeted the receptionist as he greeted back. Leaving the building I was more than surprised to see the huge crowd of people as they were screaming and shouting as soon as we came into view and I was more caught off guard by the apartment staff as they were acting like bodyguards blocking other people off.

Moving through the small opening, we finally made it to the van as Hyung was already inside waiting causing me to take a deep breath once the door closed because that was crazy. Looking at Jackson he didn’t seem to be fazed by that and in that moment I realized how different our current popularity was. I miss my Rookie days; they always were filled with the most excitement. Peeking out of my closed eyes as I laid back I noticed someone else was in the car and as soon as I saw the head of hair I couldn’t help but laugh causing everyone to turn around and stare at me as if I had lost my mind.

“Is this why Jackson is on my agenda?” Jackson raised his eyebrows before leaning over as he finally saw his Manager who was sitting in the front with a smile plastered on his face.

“No, and yes. Just wait until we get there, also Jackson, Junhyung has something to tell you?” Smile back, I leaned back as I finally found out what his Manager’s name was and I didn’t even have to ask myself.

“Ah, Yes Hyung?” Looking over at Jackson I knew he was excited and it was more and likely about that audition he was talking about earlier.

“Welcome to the Big Screen! You got the gig!” Watching as his face almost split in half I congratulated him but he seemed to be in his own world as he started screaming and bouncing around in his seat causing the car to shake.

“Did they say which part I got?” Listening I began wondering what he actually auditioned for seeing as how there was only one new movie coming out and that was the one I was doing the OST to.

“Seeing as how you auditioned for the role of one of the antagonist’s friends, I initially thought that was what you got but come to find out that your acting had impressed the judges and you are…” Everyone was on the edge of their seats, figuratively and literally, as we waited in suspense for him to reveal the role. “…the antagonist himself! You are playing Kim Dongmin the older twin, and Kim Taemin the younger twin.”

Congratulating him, I was kind of speechless because he would be starring in the movie that I would be doing the soundtrack for, well a few songs on the soundtrack. Sitting back, I took a deep breath as the rest of the ride was mostly cheerful as they were passing around snacks which I declined seeing as how Hyung has been pushing me to go on a no sugar streak, and sometimes I wonder why I listen to him. Pulling up to the studio, I got out only to be blinded by a flash causing me to stumble backwards but gaining my sight quickly I saw a few paparazzi as they were basically running at me; I’m just glad Hyung came around quickly. Hyung escorted me inside as Jackson and Junhyung followed right behind us and once inside I was glad to finally be able to breath without other people breathing down my neck.

“Well, we’ll split up here. Call me when you get done with the movie meeting and I’ll tell you the studio, okay?” I watched as they lean in for what seemed to be a kiss but noticing that the two of us were there they backed away only giving one another a high-five.

“Wow, Hyung. You should have gone for it.” His ears instantly went red causing me to wave Jackson and his Manager off as we went towards the studio.

Looking around the building as it wasn’t my company’s, I couldn’t help but be dazzled by the TV and Movie posters that littered the walls and as we followed them down long hallways I couldn’t help but be nervous. Today, I would be working with someone who wasn’t Hyunsik, which is something entirely new. Hyunsik did my commercials, movie osts, and my own music; I just hope this guy isn’t crazy. Knocking lightly, we waited for the ‘come in’, and as it came we opened the door to see at least three people as they sat around one another in this kind of semi-circle. Bowing I introduced myself causing them all to stand as they shook hands with me and smiling I took the seat that was offered to me as Hyung sat next to me.

“Hi, I’m the one in charge of music, my name is Kim Myungsik, and this is the lyricist Im JaeHun and our producer Lee Samshik. We will be working with you for the soundtrack of the movie ‘Eyes of Him’, we appreciate your cooperation.” Nodding, I could only smile to cover up how fast my heart was beating.

“It’s n-nice to meet you all. I’m thankful that you considered me, I’ll give it my all.” They laughed a little before Hyung interjected telling them the one thing that I was afraid of.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have to let you guys know that Eunkwang hasn’t work with anyone other than his own producer, so please be understanding if he messes up from nervousness.” They understood completely causing me to let go of the breath I never knew I was holding and we immediately got down to business.

“So for this soundtrack you will be doing two songs, the main track and the second track is going to be played during a part of suspense and this will be done with another artist. He should be here any moment now, so will get that song out of the way first and then we’ll work on the next track.” Nodding, I got with the lyricist as he handed me the lyrics for the song and I realized that I would be working with a rapper, but the verses didn’t have any name next to them.

Reading everything, I couldn’t help but wonder how hardcore this movie was because the lyrics were strong. I mean I do curse here and there when it comes to songs but nothing like this. I guess everyone could see my discomfort causing me to smile and play it off as I kept going over the lyrics in my head over and over again wondering what the hell was going on with this movie. Yes, I know it’s based on a true story that happened years ago but at that time I only saw the dedications as they popped up on TV and at award shows as some songs were dedicated to the young teens whose lives were based upon the movie I so happily agreed to sing for, but this was a stretch. What am I babbling on about? Sing the damn song!

The door opened bringing me out of my thoughts as I saw the rapper I would be working with and I was more than surprised as it was someone I actually liked a lot, and his name was #GUN. Standing I bowed with a smile causing him to do the same as we greeted one another before he was talking with the three people who I meet before. Seeing as how he already had his rap memorized and prepared, I took the paper walking into the booth as he followed me, and as we both went to our own mics that faced one another I couldn’t help but be nervous.

“Okay, so Eunkwang you start and be strong I need to hear the hate in your voice. This is the song that will be the for the main characters, so it needs to be intense and deliver the emotions of the two of them as this is a movie that will be near and dear to the parents who so gratefully allowed us to make a movie of their children. Please, make this a good one.” Nodding, I put on the headphones before my lips as they seemed so dry.

you, I hate you, but I miss you, I love you x3

A long time ago, I said that we should break up

I said that we should stop

Those words that were wandering in my mouth

I’ll say it all today

I hope that you die…

I hope that you’ll go crazy…

Till the end, you’re still a Crazy Man ()

I heard an ‘amazing’ in my headphones causing me to open my eyes to see that #GUN was clapping causing me to smile and hearing that it was his turn I let him do his rap while I sat back waiting for my parts. The song finished rather quickly as we did it in one or two takes and with that #GUN left and I was onto the next song.

“For this song, we are going to need you to dig down deep and pull out those raw emotions that you never told anyone about. I want you to bring the whole nation to tears, okay?” Nodding, I fixed my headphones as I read over the first verse trying to get a feel for what I needed.

I bring you up in my mind like this

Even the long moments, I remember

Again today, if only I can see your back

For just a moment

I can't say anything else than I want to die

I can't take on a life without you

I only wait for you to return

Now you are not here but

Please, I miss you so much, I love you

I'm a fool - I can't let you go

I run out of breath, crazily

I try to push you out all night

But still -

I didn’t realize that I had tears running down my face as the song finally came to a finish. I don’t even remember when we had done the other verses or the chorus, and as I wiped my face I realized that I was still broken deep down inside. I really need to get over myself. everything up, I came out of the booth and as they thanked me for an easy session, I did the same and I was more than glad to be able to go home.

I wonder if Jackson is doing better.

Walking down the hall, we seem to have bumped into the one person I was worried about and seeing him standing there made my stomach hurt. Picking up the pace I came upon him as some veteran actor was yelling at him and the director.

“I refuse to work with someone who has never acted a day in his life! This isn’t a game, and with the way he was going over the script made my stomach churn! Find another actor or I quit!” I was shocked at how vulgar he was in his words against Jackson; at least give him a chance.

“You’re being a real brat! He earned his spot fair and square, just like how you got yours. Yes, he's new at this but at least give him a chance.” I was talking before I even realized anything, and as I stood between the two I dared him to lay a hand on either one of us.

“Oh, now you have your ost lover sticking his nose in your acting? Nothing more than a rookie. You wouldn’t even have gotten the role if it wasn’t for Eunkwang singing the OST! You’re nothing more than an idol, barely even a rapper, if you can call yourself that.”

“That’s enough! You’re off the project. I’m sorry but this attitude of yours just doesn’t suit the role you are trying to play. I’ll let your company know first thing in the morning, so don’t come begging for this role back.” I looked at this actor as he was more than shocked causing him to leave as his manager scrambled behind him. “Jackson, don’t listen to him. You are doing great for a rookie, but you need to work more on the emotions because this is someone else’s life that we are depicting. Calm down on trying to lighten the mood and be more like your character.”

Turning around, I wiped his tears as he seemed as if he was going to crack at any moment, and as we looked at one another I couldn’t help but smile causing him to do the same.

“Now I’ll need a new lead actor. Hmm…Eunkwang?” I looked at the director rather quickly causing my neck to crack but I ignored it.

“Yes, sir?”

“How would you like to be the lead actor? You have a similar personality and with a different hairstyle you resemble him a lot. So, how about it?” I looked at Hyung and then back at the director and then back at Hyung, because I never acted a day in my life, well besides that cameo in a sitcom but it wasn’t anything major.

“Well, you don’t have a real schedule for a while seeing as how we were planning for a comeback, so I guess it’s an okay, but I’ll need to talk to the CEO before we accept anything. Actually can we talk for a second Director-nim?” I watched as they walked away talking with one another but I was still in major shock.

I was so shocked that I didn’t even hear Jackson as he was seemingly over excited by the thought that we would both debut as actors in the same movie as the leads non-the-less.

“Isn’t this amazing?!” Nodding, I had to take a seat as I couldn’t remember how to stand. “Are you alright? Do you need something?”

“No, I’m just shocked that’s all. Uhh…party at my place?” I looked between the two as they both nodded causing me to break a small smile.

Hyung came back a few minutes after with a thick stack of papers and a huge smile on his face. He gave me on half of the stack and the other to Jackson before ushering us out and into the van as he was going on about us practicing everyday starting tomorrow and the schedule with the rest of the script readings that involved the other characters. Nodding along to everything that he said, he finally quieted down before he began talking again about what we were going to eat and drink tonight.

“Let’s go simple; how about chicken and beer? Or grilled squid and Soju?” I was just talking hoping that they would come up with any other ideas, but they just went along with the first choice.

“What type of chicken? Spicy or Sweet?” Junhyung asked as he was already dialing the number so that we could pick it up seeing as how it was on the way there.

“Spicy!” Jackson and Hyung both yelled at the same time causing them to look at one another but I wasn’t really in the mood for spicy food so late at night.

“Original.” The words came out quiet but I knew they all heard me because the screaming all stopped as they all settled down once more.

“So one whole chicken spicy, and one whole original? Yes, that is for pick up. We’ll be right there, thank you Mrs. Oh.” Hanging up the phone, he sighed before leaning back as the car had become super quiet in those few minutes.

Taking a seat on the floor, we opened the chicken and began digging in as we talking about everything and nothing. This was honestly the most fun I’ve had in a while, especially after what happened yesterday; to be truthful, I didn’t believe that it was that his family was that bad but now I knew that I had underestimated that whole situation. But I knew that the family we were going to create would be way better than he has ever had; he will be loved and cared for until the day I give my last breath.

It was closing in on midnight and I was taking my time sipping on my second beer when Eunkwang rolled off the couch and onto my lap as he was completely drunk. He had been throwing the beers back ever since we gave him his first one and I was worried but when Hyunsik and Changsub told me not to worry I pushed it aside. Well for as long as I could, and as he got comfortable pushing my legs so that he could sit down, he began eating the chicken causing him to shake as if he was cold.

“Hot.” Chuckling quietly at his cuteness, I handed him the cup of water that I had sat out for him earlier and even though the ice cubes melted it was still cold.

“Here. I’ll get you the right box, okay?” His eyes were closed as he took a few sips before nodding as he sat the cup back down.

Grabbing the other box of chicken, I popped one in his mouth causing him to chew on it; and when I was about to move my hand he grabbed it as he more and likely wanted me to continue feeding him. I’ve seen him drunk before, but this was the first time he dropped his tough act causing him to turn into a big baby, and I like it a lot more than I should.

“Don’t you have hands of your own?” He turned to look at me with another piece of chicken hanging out of his mouth.

“Cold.” Smiling, I grabbed the blanket off the couch as I was trying to figure out how this was going to work.

“Turn towards me, Eun.” He turned around slowly causing me to laugh as he kept his legs crossed and eyes closed.

Wrapping the blanket around him, I took a few napkins cleaning his face as he looked greasy, and if he fell asleep now he was going to get acne. He leaned forward when I was done causing his head to rest right under my chin, and I was heaven right now. He was clinging to me like never before and it was a really nice feeling; a feeling that only he could give me.

“What do you want from me?” Shaking my head, I stuck my hands inside the blanket as they were starting to get cold, and with Hyunsik and Changsub passed out on the other side of the table wrapped in one another I knew that no one was going to turn up the heat.

“What do you mean?” Looking down at him, he stopped moving for a minute as I figured that he had finally gotten comfortable.

“Everyone wants something from me, so you must want something also, right?” I was taken back as he was treating me as if I was JB, and to say that it made me a little mad would be an understatement.

“I don’t want anything from you, Eun. Well, besides the fact that I just want to be there for you and love you; I figured that hopefully you could do the same with me. I’m not like all of your exes and I want to be seen as an individual person instead of just being grouped with the rest of them bastards. I’m being really sincere with you, and you never believe me.” I was trying to push him off of me so that I could get up but he only held onto my arms tighter as he kept shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that all my past relationships have been total flops all because they were using me thinking that it would help them. JB, Minhyuk, Leo…basically everyone I have come to fall for has broken my heart time and time again. Minhyuk became an actor and news anchor, JB became a part of one of the hottest duo’s in Korea at the moment, and Leo became a world renowned singer, songwriter, and pianist; and the joke of it all he married my half-brother just to depress me even more. I just can’t take any more heartbreak! So, do you really care because if not then just leave now; I won’t hold onto you any longer.” Listening to him, I couldn’t help the small crack that formed in my heart listening to him talk about all the people that have did him wrong over the years, and as he cried causing a wet spot to form on my shirt.

Rubbing his back, I fully understood why he didn’t trust me and to say that it took him to be fully drunk to tell me all this, told me how bad all of it was. Holding him closer I let him cry and whatever else he needed to do so that he could feel better about himself and maybe sober up a little bit.

“I Love You, Eun.” His arms reached up wrapping around my neck as he pulled me even closer, if it was even possible, and as he held on for dear life I could only smile as I chuckled slightly because this was too cute.

“You better, idiot.” Taking that as an I love you too, I kissed the top of his forehead as he snuggled in closer.

Now this was one of the things I dreamed about for the longest time, and I’m just glad that it actually involved the person I cared for the most.

~~

Songs used are...

'I told you I want to die' by Huh Gak (x)

'Crazy Guy' by #GUN ft. Jessi (x)