When we arrived in front of his place I got out bidding Hyung goodbye until I called him later, and as he drove off leaving me in front of his house by myself I sighed. Walking up to his front door I noticed that a pair of underwear was stuck in one of the bushes, but I didn’t say anything about it not wanting to embarrass them anymore. Pushing open the door, glad that he actually left it unlocked, I walked inside as I closed it behind me locking it as I slipped my shoes off before stepping fully inside. Turning the corner, I had to look around to make sure that I was in the right house because his living room was trashed. Clothes, pictures, anything you can imagine was thrown all over the floor and he sat in the middle of it with his face in his knees as he shook. Probably crying at the thought of why I came. Moving stuff out of the way, I made a little clean space next to him and sitting in it he immediately clasped onto me as if I was leaving forever.

“Do you want to tell me everything or are you just going to go piece by piece?” I asked causing him to release me as he laid his head on my shoulder causing me to sigh as I held onto his side.

“I came home, and he wasn’t here yet so I brushed it off and went to get refreshed seeing as how he promised to come home in an hour or two from the time I arrived. I was dressed all nice and I even went to go get my hair done thinking that we can finally go on a date seeing as how he is always in that stupid studio. Not one, not two, but THREE hours had passed when he walked in the door and I had fallen asleep by then so I was startled by the noise coming from the front door. Honestly, I wasn’t even that angry at first seeing as how he explained that he had to work with rookies at the last minute and it took him longer than expected, but when he said he had something to tell me; that something really pissed me off. It was like the last straw for me when he asked if we could push the wedding back knowing that it is in a month, and we’ve already pushed it back twice! So I told him to get out, and he seemed surprised but when I grabbed his clothes and bags throwing them out the front door and window he grabbed me telling me to speak to him. But I was too far gone in my rage to listen to him, I even threw the ring off my finger at him causing it bounce off of him and fall onto the ground. He told me he was going to give me time to calm down and he gathered everything that he could carry before getting in his car and leaving. Is it me or was he in the wrong?” I just nodded as they were still the same as always and seeing as how I knew how they both grew up it wasn’t a surprise that this wasn’t any normal fight, it never is.

“Do you want to break up with him?” He got off my shoulder as he looked at me as if I just said that Hyunsik was to be beheaded later tonight.

“I-I…N-No…but I don’t know! He has been doing this ever since we first got together, and I have put up with it for so long that now it just makes me pissed when I realize how much I have done for him. I never ask for anything unless I can’t live without it, and I always did what he asked of me as if I am his little housewife slave. I knew when he became a producer that he would be working late but after all these years of being together and we know each other fairly well he knew what my reaction would be. The first time I understood because it was your and a few others debut that week, and the second time I was a little reluctant but I agreed seeing as how Grandpa was sick, but this time there was no valid reason except for that he was busy recording with another artist! He can be gone for a few days! He acts like someone is going to die if he isn’t in that ugly, dingy, dumb studio!” I wanted to laugh but he did have a point except for the studio being ugly because Hyunsik had the biggest studio in the whole company and it was custom made to fit him, but that was something totally different.

“Well, what are you going to do now?”

“If he wants to give me space to “breath”, then I guess we are broken up until he feels that I am done breathing. And until he is finally ready to stop acting like a child and man up and marry me then I guess it’s water under the bridge.” I looked at him as he seemed to be calm and I really wanted to smack some sense into him.

“Are you really going to give up on a 10+ year relationship? This is the longest and happiest relationship that you have ever been in, even though now you guys argue more, are you really sure about this?” He looked up staring me straight in the eye and as he nodded I knew it was over, and this was going to Hyunsik up on a whole other level.

“Thanks for letting me unload all that.” I just nodded not really hearing him as I could already imagine Hyunsik’s face when I inform them of their current relationship status. “Are you staying or going home?”

I finally snapped out of it looking at my surroundings as I had already made up my mind on going home because I am busy tomorrow. I have that photoshoot and music show recording before I go to the practice for the Gayo. Patting his back, as I stood causing him to stand with me and sighing deeply I tried not to show how much this affected me even though this isn’t my relationship.

“I have to get home. I’m booked tomorrow, but I’ll stop by if I have any free time. In the meantime, clean this place up it looks like a pigsty, and it is not fit for a coffee maker.” I joked with him causing him to laugh as he showed me to the door, and putting on my shoes I waved goodbye as I went outside into the cool air.

Walking back towards the sidewalk I stepped on something hard and thinking that it is a rock I stepped back only to see something glistening in the moonlight. Picking it up I noticed that it was Sub’s ring and stuffing it in my pocket I sighed even harder glad that Hyung had pulled up just in time, and getting in I didn’t say anything except asking him if Hyunsik was already at my place. When he confirmed it I leaned my head back wishing that the drive wasn’t so long, because I really wished that I was back home. I was brought out of my thoughts as my phone rang and picking it up I put it to my ear not really caring about who it was.

“Hello?”

“Seorella? Are you sleepy?” I wanted to hang up the phone but knowing that that would be rude I just hummed my response causing him to huff as his whole demeanor changed. “Eunkwang?”

I almost jumped out of my seat as the deep voice scared me and looking around I looked at Hyung but his voice wasn’t deep and he wouldn’t even call me by my full name. Looking back at my phone I had to make sure that I was talking to the right person before I brought the phone back to my ear.

“Jackson? Hello?” He chuckled and I wanted to ask him what he was getting at but another person was calling my phone, and not noticing the caller I.D, I sighed in irritation. “Hold on.”

“Hello?” I didn’t hear anything for a few minutes before a long sigh filled my ears and it was really taking this person forever to speak.

“Are you at home?” I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion because who is this person?!

“Excuse me? Who is this?” Another sigh before the sound a something being drunk filled my ear as the sound made me cringe.

“You don’t remember my voice anymore? Even though it filled your ears for so long, it makes me sad. I’ll be sitting outside your apartment just wake me if I am asleep.” The other person hung up leaving me even more confused before Jackson’s voice filled my ear once again as he was talking to what seemed like his Manager.

“Weird. Anyway what are you getting at calling me so late at night? Didn’t we just get done seeing each other?” He laughed his loud high pitched laugh and I knew he was playing with my feelings right now because I was in between drowning him in a lake, and dancing with him again.

“Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that I accidently took your keys when we were leaving so I am on my way to your place right now.” I nodded before telling him that I was on my way home and he could meet me there.

Hanging up, I stared back out the window as we were getting closer to my place. Once we arrived I bid Hyung a farewell as I hopped out the car making my way inside as I greeted the guy at the desk and running I got on the elevator pressing my floor glad to finally be home. When the doors opened I heard a lot of commotion but thinking that it was the neighbors seeing as how they argued a lot I turned the corner only to see Jackson, Hyunsik, and JB as they were all yelling at one another and in the midst of what looked like the after fight.

“What the hell is going on?!” I screamed causing them all to stop as they stared at me and Jackson came up to me as he smiled at me but I couldn’t miss the split in his lip and the bruise forming on his cheek.

“It’s a misunderstanding, on my part at least. Here are your keys, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Placing the keys into my hand he walked around me quickly as he took the stairs ignoring me as I called after him.

“What did you guys do?” I asked the other two as JB was clearly drunk by the way he stumbled around and I literally had to stop myself from smashing my head into the wall nearest to me.

“I needed to talk to you…about something, but I’ll…” He lends against the wall and as he slides to the floor I knew he was out cold.

“Hyunsik, can you pick him up and lay him down on the couch, and please don’t argue with me about this.” He sighed before dragging him inside as I followed after them picking up all the empty beer bottles, and sometimes I wondered why I had so much trouble with men.

Closing the door behind me, I threw away all the bottles as I watched Hyunsik throw him on the couch without a care causing me to remind him to take his shoes off and he threw them by the door with the same attitude. Going into the closet I grabbed a blanket draping it over him, before grabbing Hyunsik as I brought him into the guest room where he had already settled in for the most part, well besides the clothing but he can do that any time.

“Why are you letting that piece of trash sleep on your couch? You know, if it wasn’t for you I would have murdered him a long time ago and then after I would have gotten bailed out I would have made a song about him. Then when it went platinum I would have dedicated it to him when I received all my awards. He just makes me so mad!” I tried to calm him down knowing that he had to worry about more important things besides JB.

“Don’t worry about him for now. I think you need to worry about your relationship, because I went and talked with him and he isn’t in his right mind.” He calmed down before looking at me as if I was speaking in a foreign language.

“What did he say? Is he going to take me back?” I watched as he had suddenly become desperate falling onto the bed as he sat with his head in his hands and I knew I was going to watch him cry for the second time in his life.

“H-He said, that until you grew up and became a man ready to marry him then this breather is going to become rather long. He is willing to end a 10+ year relationship because you’re not treating him the way he feels he should be treated and knowing him he doesn’t want much.” He was silent for a long time before he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and I had to hold back a sniffle because I shouldn’t be crying.

“What lead to him saying this? Why does he want to end it?” I took a deep breath as I tried to reword it so that it wouldn’t sound as harsh.

“First off you blew off your date, and then you came home asking to push back the wedding for the third time knowing that it is in a month. He said that he was able to take everything that you have wanted and given to him, but asking him to push it back again was his limit. I’m not going to intervene or be a middle man, only unless it is necessary, so call him or do whatever is necessary because your family and I can’t imagine you with anyone else besides Changsub.” Leaving him to figure this out for himself I went back out into the living checking on the drunk to see that he was still out cold, and I could only sigh in relief.

Making my way into my room I got a change of clothing as I went to go take a shower but someone banging on the door stopped me in my tracks as I walked towards the front door instead sitting my clothes down on the counter. Opening the door, I already had an idea of who it was and I was correct as Jr. was standing at the door with his arms crossed as he was angry, but not saying anything I left the door open as I walked away not in the mood to argue. Going into the bathroom I showered quickly and I came back out in time to see that Jr. was still here and as he stood looking at JB’s limp body he could only growl.

“What happened?” I knew he was talking to me seeing as how Hyunsik was on the phone and he seemed to be crying but I will ignore that until the house calmed down.

“Don’t know. Came home to see three guys standing outside my door arguing and fighting. One of them is staying with me temporarily and the other left, while JB was drunk and then he passed out so I dropped him on the couch because I have other business to attend to. So, are you going to take him or not?” I looked at him as I leaned against the counter which once held my clothes and as he looked in between both of us before sighing as he slapped JB causing him to spring straight up as he held his face and I had to stop myself from laughing.

“Get the up, and let’s go!” Jr. made his way for the door and JB drunkenly followed after him as he tried to put on his shoes but when it wasn’t happening he left with them in his hands as Jr. picked them up.

When everything was finally calm I walked back towards Hyunsik’s door, and as I raised my hand to knock I thought against it as I went across the hall and into my room closing the door quietly. Laying down I snuggled under the covers as I listened as Hyunsik was yelling and Sub seemed to be yelling also, and as the conversation started to calm down it picked right back up and for the rest of the night it was like this. When they had finally shut up Hyung came through the doors waking me up but as I was already up staring at him he looked at me strangely before leaving out of my room as he probably went to go sit in the living room.

Rolling out of bed, I went into the bathroom as I began getting ready for the day and as I started to fall asleep I would smack my head against the wall only to shake it as I finished. Leaving the bathroom, I remembered that we had the photoshoot first so dressing in nothing too extravagant I left my room and went into the living room as I rummaged around in my fridge looking for an energy drink. Finding a whole case, I grabbed two as I drunk one now and I would have another one later if needed. Hyunsik’s door opened up as he came out with a blanket wrapped around him as his eyes were red and puffy and as soon as Hyung saw him he stood walking over to him as he began asking if he was okay.

“Are you going to work? Because if not I’ll call in for you.” Hyunsik shook his head as he rubbed his eyes getting rid of the tears that still laid there and I could only sigh as I watched him.

“I’ll go, no I have to go, because I have to finish a bunch of work and then I have to help the new group debuting in a few months. I’ll see you guys at the company later.” As Hyung nodded I went out the door behind him as I reminded Hyunsik where everything was before the door closed behind me completely.

“What happened to him?” I sighed before climbing into the car as I just shook my head because he didn’t want to know.

Finishing the rest of my drink, I sat the empty can in the cup holder before grabbing my phone to see a bunch of text messages, but what really caught me off guard was the one I got from Jackson.

10. 😬: I guess you still love him enough to let him into your home.

Me: Huh? What are you talking about?

10. 😬: Nothing. Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you later.

I wanted to demand him to tell me what he was thinking but then I remembered that we aren’t nothing more than friends, if that is what you can call it. Sighing I placed my phone back in my pocket as we pulled up to the photoshoot and I was glad that it was Sungjae once again. Greeting him along with everyone else he slipped me the invite before he walked around as he finished checking that everything was prepared. Taking a seat in my dressing room, I began nodding off before the energy drink kicked in causing me to stay awake but I was still really tired. After finally getting hair and makeup done I checked social media seeing as how I had at least 10 more minutes before we actually started and my inbox was flooded. Looking at them it all had to do with Jackson and going to his page I had to stop myself from calling him because he was literally something else.

“This Winter At least Save The Last Kiss for me…please…” I mumbled the text as I was ready to throw my phone because what was he getting at.

First he suddenly confesses to me, and then he starts showing up unexpectedly to my home, and now he’s acting lovesick! What am I going to do with him? Sighing I shook my head as I stood finally being called and walking out the door I was greeted with bright faces and I was honestly more than confused now. Walking towards the set I noticed that someone else was getting ready also. Walking closer I stopped dead inn my tracks as I noticed the very familiar face, this was the face that took all the attention after Appa passed, he was the one who married my ex-boyfriend and is now in the middle of a divorce, he is my younger brother; Ilhoon.

“Hyung! How are you?” He came closer and I ended up taking a step back, he’s one of the main reasons I don’t talk to that woman. “Hyung? Are you okay?”

Snapping out of it I ignored him as I moved around him before grabbing Sungjae as I pulled him to the very left side away from everyone else, and glaring at him he looked at me with this seldom look on his face.

“What the is he doing here?!” I whispered it because everyone was staring at us, and I was really uncomfortable for at least the third time in my life.

“He’s taking photos with you. Doojoon, didn’t tell you? Well this is going to be a part of the celebrity family week for this high end magazine. I’m just here to take the photos, so don’t blame me.” I listened as he explained causing me to take a deep breath because I shouldn’t get too worked over this.

“Fine, let’s just get this over with quickly. I have somewhere to be in a few hours.” He nodded as he began telling everyone to get ready and walking over I fixed my hat before flopping down on the couch.

As photo after photo was taken I tried to not seem too awkward but as he sat above me posing and laughing and doing him, I just sat there thinking that when this is over I don’t want to see him anymore. And hopefully I got my wish because as they said that we were done I stood rushing into my dressing room as I began changing quickly. But I was interrupted by the door opening as a voice asked for privacy and even after everyone left I continued dressing myself for my next schedule.

“Hyung, are you really going to be like this?” Sighing I fixed my jacket liking the biker kind of look seeing as how we were trying to go for a different theme each week.

“Don’t you have a movie, or fashion show to do?” Grabbing my phone, I looked through it noticing that Jackson had sent me another text message, but knowing I can worry about it later I turned to look at the other who wasn’t leaving.

“Why do you act like this? Yes, Umma hasn’t been fair to you as we were growing up, but she is truly worried about you; you know. Every time you hang up on her, or don’t reply to her messages she gets really depressed. She wants you to come home for her birthday in a few months, at least, can you do that?”

“I’m booked. Promotions are ending soon, and then I have to sing for a few weddings, and I already have my own problems to worry about. I really don’t need anymore. She should have supported me like my Appa did and then maybe I would come home instead of sending money on special occasions. I don’t see her as my Umma anymore and you are not my brother. Just leave before things get out of hand, I don’t need another scandal.” Trying to walk around him he blocked the door as he shook his head, causing me to sigh because no matter how much I tried to pry him away he didn’t move.

“Is work all you care about?! Hyung you are so selfish!” Laughing I looked at him as the smile dropped from my face because what I was put through to get where I am now isn’t even close to how damaging this woman was.

“Selfish? I deserve to be selfish, and I don’t need you tell me that. Now move I’m a very busy person.”

“Busy? With who? King J? I bet he is shoving his tongue so far down your throat that you think you are in love. Isn’t that what happened with JB? Get your head straight before they hurt you. Hyung I’m only looking out for you.” Finally moving him I had to stop myself as I listened to his words and it isn’t like he knows me anymore, so where is this information coming from?

“JB is one thing but King J is another. At least King J honestly likes me for me and not for the rise to stardom! I like how he is a little clumsy, and how he is always super excited about the little things; I like how he smiles as he listens to me and not try to ignore everything that I say; I like how he is willing to take care of and fight for me; I like how he is willing to give up everything just to make me happy, and that is something JB wouldn’t have done. So please don’t talk as if you know my life because the last time we actually talked was when I was finally debuting and I called to tell everyone. You are not my Appa’s child, even though he might have raised you like his own, so don’t try and save me when I don’t want to be saved, well at least not by you or that woman.” Leaving I didn’t let him say anything as I ran outside and got into the van and as Hyung pulled away I muttered under my breath about him always trying to be right and how much of a nuisance they are.

“Is playing house with your brother for the sake of a camera really all that bad?” I looked at Hyung with a glare because it was his fault I’m in this mess and now he wants to crack lame jokes.

“Just drive, Board.” He instantly shut up causing me to sigh as I looked at my text messages as I looked at the one from Jackson and before I even clicked on it everything I had just said about him replayed through my mind.

10. 😬: I’m sorry. It’s just that…never mind I’ll see you in a few hours.

Staring at it my heart sank and I didn’t even know why. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself down because why am I getting worked up over little things, maybe it is really nothing and he is just going through his phases. Pulling up to SBS, we got out quickly as I went in sang, got my award, and left and we did this in less than a few hours. Driving to the company I got out telling Hyung that I might be staying overnight seeing as how I forgot that I had promised the CEO that I would help perfect one of the new groups, and with a final nod he drove off leaving me to stand and stare at the license plate. Walking inside I greeted those who were leaving out and quickly making my way to the practice room I could hear a voice coming as the door was cracked, and pushing it open all I could see was back.

“Eunkwang? Why are you standing by the door dazed?” I finally snapped out of those few seconds of not remembering anything as I looked around as Jackson was staring at me through the mirror as he didn’t have on a shirt.

“Huh? I’m coming.” I broke our eye contact as I dropped my bags and took off my coat glad that I changed before leaving SBS.

We practiced a few times before we had everything finally down packed and seeing as how we had all this extra time everyone left saying that they had other things to do leaving only Jackson and I. I took a seat wiping my sweat as I watched him walk around, still shirtless, as his fixed his pants before going over to the computer as he played a song before starting to dance. I watched as he flexed and flipped and I couldn’t help but notice how he was staring at me the whole time. Standing I turned off the music causing him to look at me but I didn’t care, I need to know what his problem with me is.

“What are you doing? Why did you turn it off?” I stood in front of the computer as he walked closer trying to move me but I tried my hardest not to move.

“I’m not moving until you tell me what the problem is, because you keep on starting a sentence and never finishing it! Jackson, please just tell me.” I didn’t want to sound that desperate but it was bugging me how he just kept on doing this over and over again.

“Do you really want to know what the problem is? The problem is…” He stopped talking as he grabbed me turning me around as he just walked away from the computer as he sat me down on the floor.

“Uh…Jackson, what are you doing?” I was really confused as he sat down next to me but as he pushed me to lie down I was even more confused as he laid down next to me.

“We are talking about what my problem is, right? So I want to be comfortable, problem?” Shaking my head, he sighed deeply before turning as we looked at one another and as the short silence engulfed us I began wondering if this is what this is supposed to feel like.

“My problem is that I keep on trying to show you how much I like you, and you even heard what I said to JB sunbae, and still you treat me as if I mean nothing to you. If you don’t like me, just say so! If you don’t want me to bother you anymore, just say so! If you want me to leave you alone for forever, then just say so, and after tomorrow I’ll stay out of your way and never bother you again.” I listened as his eyes began to get wet with tears and I just couldn’t help but laugh because he was really an idiot.

“Idiot. If I didn’t like you then I would have made sure that you stayed away from me after we first met. If I didn’t want you to bother me anymore then I wouldn’t have given you my phone number telling you to call me before you came over. If I wanted you to leave me alone for forever, then I would have been made sure of that. Jackson, I don’t know which planet you came from but I do like you and today I realized that I liked you more than I should. So stop getting all sappy on me and let’s enjoy this winter, because I heard it’s going to start snowing in an hour.” Flicking his nose, I stood as I ran out of the practice room grabbing my bags causing him to follow after me.

Changing quickly, I looked at my clothing noticing that I wasn’t dressed for the occasion, but I could always worry about that later. Fixing my coat, I stepped out into the cold air as Jackson came after me and looking at him he smiled at me. And as if it was a movie a small snowflake fell right in between the two of us as it landed on top of my hand. I watched as it melted before more began to fall. It didn’t take long before snow was falling all around us.

Telling him to go to the left I moved to the right as we were now farther away from one another, and what I needed to tell him filled my heart. Yelling at him to stay still he nodded before shaking as it was getting colder by the minute.

“I know we have only known one another for a short amount of time, and I don’t really know my own feelings right now! But let this winter be the winter of us, and the winter to follow! I will make sure that all your dreams come true as long as you continue to love and believe in me! You are the first person that I have genuinely taken interest in that has made my heart act crazy! I know I sound crazy right now, but I do honestly like you!” I yelled the words at him and it didn’t take long before he was standing in front of me.

As the snow continued to fall around us and as we looked into each other’s eyes I smiled in relief because I somehow knew he was the one. I always questioned how long JB and I were going to last, but with him I don’t really care. Dating or not I want him to be by my side, and if I have lost everything then I am willing, just like he is.

“I always knew you were the one.” He whispered those words causing me to laugh as I could see his breath, and as his nose turned red I couldn’t stop.

“Now how would you know that?” He grabbed my hand causing me to freeze a little bit as the cold air suddenly felt different.

“I’ve known ever since the first time I laid eyes on you.” What he did next shocked me but I was more than ready.

He leaned down that one inch and kissed me and as I let him I honestly felt as if I was on way different cloud from nine. When he pulled away I unconsciously followed causing him to laugh as he pushed my forehead causing me to open my eyes as I blinked in confusion.

“I will be the Winter if you will be the Spring, so that when our season is over and we are waiting for the next, we will always be together. Eunkwang, will you go out with me?” I kind of fan-girled on the inside as he made a metaphor out of our love, but none the less I nodded.

“As long as you are willing to take me.” Sighing I continued to hold his hand as we just stood outside and even when Hyung pulled up I was reluctant to let go.

May this Winter be the one where I can sing of happiness instead of sadness.