Someone else?

Someone else as in my someone else?

Because there is no one else.

“I don’t understand,” I said stepping closer. 

Like a cornered puppy, I’m afraid to come too close. I don’t want to scare him.

“I’m sorry Elena. I’m sorry that this can’t work.”

His eyes are glassy. The brown soft walls made a hazy filter, reflecting off in directions. Like he’s looking at me, but not.

He put his arm behind his back and opened the door, stepping outside.

He broke the eye contact and just started running.

What the f-.

Where the f- is he going.

“Joshua, stop,” I said running after him.

My hip bumped into the counter.

.

That’s going to bruise.

I can’t help but laugh at this role reversal. 

Except last time I was a lot happier.

He ran into the stairwell and started jumping down the stairs three at a time.

Where the hell is he going.

One flight below me curving around, Joshua reached the closet landing right as the door flew open.

Sav tumbled out laughing. Hair askew, the hairspray used before to make it look perfectly curled now made it look perfectly matted. Bright orange shirt falling off her shoulder.

“Stop—“ she giggled.

At least she’s fully clothed.

Jun wouldn't do that to her. He’s not that kind of person.

Joshua full on bumped on to her, slowing him down for the briefest moment.

Thank you Sav.

But in doing so, she pulled out the person making her giggle.

A mop of brown hair. 

Lashes visible from up here.

That’s not Jun.

He held her arms smiling and tried to pull her back in.

My hand burned on the railing as I slid to a stop.

It can’t be.

She wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

“Oh whoops~” her eyelids fluttered. “Looks like we have visitors. Do you guys want to join?”

Joshua had stopped opened mouthed. Distracted, just for a second, from fleeing. Inches from them, they blocked the stairwell to the practice room—his escape.

Vernon, smiling stupidly, looked up from Sav’s cleavage to see who she was talking to.

His eyes widened, and he quickly let go of her. She stumbled backwards.

Anger.

A heat from inside.

The acid from nervousness earlier lit on fire, like a match to raw oil, and consumed me. It crawled up my throat, my insides. I can’t breathe. I can’t speak.

How dare she do this.

“No?” she asked innocently.

Joshua had nowhere to go. Openmouthed, I felt his eyes on me.

I walked down, one step at a time.

Focused.

Heart beating steadily. Sending blood to my extremities. Ready to take action. 

Not fleeing this time.

“Hey,” Vernon stepped forward.

He’s not sober.

I pushed him back. 

Get out of my way.

“Elena, stop,” Joshua jumped in front of Sav.

She still looked confused as to why I would give up on the opportunity to have a four way in a dark closet with a Korean boy band.

Stop what?
I’m not doing anything.

“Let’s just go, talk about this…” he motioned for Sav to go to the practice room.

“What?” she tilted her head.

“Just go,” he muttered.

No one is going anywhere.

I’m scalding inside.

And someone needs to feel this pain.

I can’t handle it alone.

She finally looked at me and something in my face must have  scared her. She swallowed and back down the stairs into the practice room.

“Ellie, stop,” Vernon grabbed my wrist as I walked by him.

I slapped his chest. Hard.

“,” he put his hand over where I’d hit him. “Why do you always hit me?”

Some of the pain is transferred. 

But not enough.

I jumped the last few steps into the practice room. 

SHINee playing loudly. One of their silly upbeat Japanese songs. The ones I listen to when I’m sad.

But right now it pisses me off.

Hoshi waved and ran over. He stopped when he saw my face.

“Are you ok?”

“Actually you know what? I’m not.”

The song dwindled out. 

Sav had gone back into the corner, looking very confused. Joshua looked on the verge of running again, but like a deer in the headlights caught between fight and flight, his doe eyes screamed confusion. “Ellie, it’s ok. Let me get you some water.” As if the awkward moment between us hadn't happened and he was just here to calm a crazy girl.

Fine. I'll let him think that.

“No, it’s not ok.”

A ballad started playing.

I’m not going to keep it in anymore.

I’m going to tell everyone exactly how I feel. Regardless of the consequences. Because I’m tired of keeping it in to the point of explosion just to sleep it off later.

I’m done with that.

“Sav, who the hell do you think you are?”
I walked over to her as she backed against the mirror.

“What the hell Ellie what’s wrong with you?”

Mutters and voices but they aren’t important.

It’s just me and her.

“You can’t just go making out with any random guy that passes by,” I yelled.

“Oh please Ellie don’t act all innocent,” she rolled her eyes.

“These are my friends Sav! Wonwoo is my friend and you’re breaking his heart” I said pointing to Wonwoo, who was still sitting on the couch playing with his pizza.

“Your friends?” she practically screamed. “Then what the hell am I?”

There’s tears.

Are they hers? 

Or are they mine.

The music stopped.

“Ever since you ran into this kid,” she went over and tugged on Vernon’s hair affectionately, twirling a strand around her finger. Like a puppy or a doll.

He let her.

Don’t touch him.

“You’ve been different. It’s like we’re walking on two different streets completely.”

What.

Who is she talking about.

She’s drunk.

“What the f- are you talking about?”

She raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to understand.

Nothing. Coming up blank. All I know is that Joshua just ran away like a scared kitten when I tried to kiss him.

“I’m just a player and a sleaze and everyone knows it,” she pointed around the room, tears coming out of her eyes. “They all know it. They know it means nothing from me.”

That’s not true.

You’re so much more than that.

“But from you—it does mean something. Because you care.” She left Vernon and walked towards me. 

Alarm bells alert alert angry Sav time to run.

No.

I’m angry too.

“So when YOU play around with guys hearts,” she stopped inches from me, “you’re ten times, a hundred times, worse.”

What?
“Except for I don’t ‘play around with anyone’s hearts’” I said mocking her.

She’s drunk.

She’s crazy.

“Oh my god Elena,” she threw her hair back in exasperation.

“I see the way you look at him” She pointed to Vernon who was just standing by the table. He looked so confused, like trying to understand a language he only knew a couple words of.

“You try to hide it. But this just in girl, you can hide your feelings about as well as I can hide my past. You’re as see through as a clear umbrella.” 

She towered over me.

I should be so scared.

“You’re in love with two boys at once, and it’s not only driving them crazy, it’s driving me crazy too.”

The clock ticked. 

In this silence, each second sounded like a crack of thunder.

She’s insane.

I’m not in love with either of them.

They’re just cute boys I want to kiss and that is very different from being in love.

I mean it’s just one cute boy.

.

Vernon looked over her shoulder openmouthed, eyebrows furrowed. Like he’d been listening hard but not quite comprehending. 

How many drinks did he have.

Hair everywhere.

A door slammed shut behind me.

She marched back over to Vernon, who just stood there stupidly.

Hair a mess, smeared eyeliner, diamond necklace flying, she’s so fierce and strong. More than I will ever be.

She took his head in her hands, squeezing his cheeks.

What the f- is she doing.

“So…what are you going to do Elena?”

She leaned forward. 

He’s so out of it.

He probably won’t remember this tomorrow.

Or will he.

Did he actually drink anything. 

You can't get drunk off of one beer.

Hampton appeared from a corner. “Sav what are you doing?”

“I’m testing,” she growled. A lioness.

She wouldn’t break eye contact me as she slowly put her lips on him.

What the f-

At first he resisted, but then he responded. Positively.

The scene reflected off the mirrored walls, displayed in an infinite amount of times, in both directions. An eternity of an image that is very very wrong.

The anger returned.

100 times stronger.

“Stop,” I yelled.

I ran over and tried to yank her away.

But he’s holding her head close to his.

He doesn’t mean it.

I know he doesn’t.

He can’t.

“Stop,” I yelled again, finally using the adrenaline my body was ready to give me, I yanked her off.

And I slapped her. 

Across the cheek, burning my hand.

Stark and prominent, like the first clap after a performance.

Oh my god.

I just slapped Sav.

I don’t care.

She deserved it.