Sav: /screenshot of ticket/

Oh my god. Sav coming back to Korea. Emotional overload. Can’t think about this right now.

“Do you know what he’s talking about?” I stepped back as Wonwoo left.

“Um, not really,” Joshua twirled his cross helix earring. “Wonwoo says weird things sometimes,” he laughed.

We parted and headed outside the bedroom. 

“You’re getting it on my homework…” a little one at the kitchen table sighed. 

“What’s his name again?” I whispered in Joshua’s ear. “That’s Dino, or Chan,” he laughed. “He’s our maknae.”

“And that’s Seokmin right?” I asked Joshua pointing to the boy carefully picking up Chan’s notebook and moving it to the living room.

“Yes, that’s Seokmin.”

Got it.

“I think I know everyone’s names now,” I said.

“Good, I’ll quiz you later.”

“Please don’t.”

We walked to Mingyu who was pouring out noodles to everyone. The rainbow head picked Mingyu’s hairnet off when he leaned over and put it on his own head. He pulled out his phone and took a selfie making a thumbs up.

“And that’s Minghao,”

“Yes he’s Chinese. And that’s our other Chinese member Jun,” he said pointing to Sav’s type.

“Yeah, I remember.”

I wanted Joshua to put his arm around my waist again but he didn’t. He says he doesn’t know what Wonwoo is talking about, but he at least knows more than me. 

Mingyu poured us noodles and we followed Sam into the living room. We sat on the couch which was conveniently small so Joshua’s elbow couldn’t help but rest on my leg. Whoops.

I really don’t know how long I’m going to be able to keep this up. 

“Guys, I just came in here to study,” Dino whined. 

“I’ll help you in the bedroom,” Seokmin took two bowls and they disappeared. 

I heard Joshua whisper a little prayer next to me. I’d like to join him, but I don’t know how. Maybe some day. 

Wonwoo sat on the arm of the couch.

“You’re not eating again?” I asked him twirling noodles around chopsticks and watching them fall off limply.

“No, I don’t really like noodles.”

“But these are Mingyu’s noodles…” I tried to put some in his mouth.

He shied away and his phone fell on my lap. The screen .

“Your background is still Sav??” I coughed. 

I’m tearing up this is seriously the best thing I have ever seen

He reddened.

My phone buzzed. 

Hampton: WAIT I WANT TO COME

Sav: Korean Air is having a deal! I looked at the flights JFK is cheap right now!

Hampton: don’t tempt me Sav

Sav: Soon I will be in the same country as Kai. I miss him. 

Sav: And Wonwoo.

Kimmy: wow you all can just ask your parents for flights to Korea. Can’t relate.

I went to tell Wonwoo about Sav, but he was gone.

A message from 20 minutes ago I’d missed.

Hansol <3: Hey, Jeonghan just messaged me saying you’re at my place. Is that true?

A tingle down my spine. Wtf Ellie. Why am I like this.

“Hansol <3?” Joshua asked pointing at my phone.

“Oh, yeah,” I put it away quickly. “He entered it in that way. Not me.” I returned to my noodles.

“But you haven’t changed it?”

His doe eyes dropped. Like I punched him. Oh my god.

“I haven’t had time, that’s all.”

I took my phone back out.

“What should I change it to?”

He put down his chopsticks and took it from me.
After a few seconds he handed it back.

“Only for emergencies?”

He smiled. “So you don’t forget what it’s there for.”

Only for emergencies: good you saw my message. I’m coming home soon. See you there.

I felt Joshua shift next to me as I shoved my phone in my pocket.

“It’s nothing really,” I said to him.

“What’s nothing?” he asked.

“…nothing…” I said putting a large serving a noodles in my mouth.

A few minutes later Joshua took my empty bowl to the sink and didn’t come back. Is he actually mad at me? That’s ridiculous. This is so stupid. How can a boy be so…irrational. I thought boys were supposed to not care about this kind of stuff. I’m the one that’s supposed to be mad not him.

I got off the couch and turned into the kitchen, practically running into Seokmin and Chan. 

The only person in the kitchen was Mingyu humming something and moving his thumb up and down.

“Have you seen Joshua?”

He turned off the sink. “Um yeah, he was just here. I think he went into the bedroom.”

What the actual f-.

I turned and just about flung open the bedroom door when I heard voices.

“I just wish, things could go back to the way they used to,” someone said.

“What do you mean” Joshua answered. He sounded so concerned and sorry. Oh my god. He’s not mad at me. He’s helping someone. How could I have possibly thought he was angry. He’s so nice. I’m so dumb.

“We’re just so busy these days, time feels like it’s washing away. And I feel like the past two months I’ve been missing so many opportunities…”

The front door opened and I heard Vernon’s voice say hello to everyone.

“But somehow you still make time for—“

“Hey Converse,” I jumped.

“Oh hey,” I turned. Those lashes.

Stop Ellie stop.

“So…long time no see?”

“Yeah,” I shook my head into the present. “You never messaged me back. On your birthday.”

“I’m sorry. I got…caught up.”

“It’s fine. I heard you guys are scrambling for a title track.”

“Yeah, I’m not the best rapper,” he smiled “…but who told you that?” he took his black beanie off and fixed his hair.

“Joshua did.” 

“—maybe I’m just acting like a kid but I just” a voice from the bedroom. They were getting closer to the door.

“Joshua?” Vernon said at the same time Joshua came out of the bedroom, still holding our bowls. Jeonghan followed closely behind.

“Yes?” he asked looking from Vernon to me. 

Jeonghan quickly darted into the bathroom.

“Oh hey what’s up man,” Vernon gave Joshua a hi five and who returned it with a smile.

I followed Joshua to the kitchen and heard Seungcheol yell for Vernon to join them.

 “Is everything ok?”

“What?” he put the bowls next to Mingyu, who was still aggressivley scrubbing the dishes.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said twirling his cross. “Why?”

“Oh,” I stepped closer. I want to be close to him so badly. We should just go out on another date again. Being around everyone is too difficult. “You disappeared and I thought something might be wrong.”

“No,” he tucked a string of hair behind my hair. Tingles.

“Jeonghan just doesn’t do well with stress. And I wasn’t kidding when I said we’ve been stressed.”

He tilted his head and looked at me again. With appreciation, but also confusion.

“Why do you look at me like that?” I finally asked.

“Like what?”

“Like, this?” I tried my best to imitate him. Fail.

“Oh,” he laughed, “I just…haven’t met anyone like you before. And it’s confusing. But nice.” I can’t help but smile and stare at the ground. Definitely blushing again. 

“Hey, do you want to visit our company building tomorrow? I’m going there all day working on some stuff, but I’d love to see you.”

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

“Yeah that sounds fine,”

“Ok cool. We’re all  probably going to spend the night there. And I can’t exactly take public transportation. If I send you the address, do you think you could find it?”

“I’ve lived in Seoul for 2 years. I can find my way around.”

He smiled. “Good. And I think everyone else will go home tomorrow morning and stay at the dorm the rest of the day so…yeah.”

His eyes changed.

Not my eye smile. Not his big innocent doe ones. Ones with meaning. Trying to communicate something he couldn’t  say with everyone around.

Desire?

Oh my god.

This is a bad idea. A very. Very. Bad. Idea.

“Yeah, just send it to me. I’ll be there.”

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I can't believe people are actually reading my little story. Your comments mean so much to me thank you. :)