Nope. Everyone is definitely looking at us. 

Mingyu had just turned the sink off and he stopped wiping his hands on his apron.

Sam stopped in the middle of jumping off the couch to the kitchen.

Seungkwan had just walked out of the bathroom and stopped.

I made eye contact with Wonwoo, and he turned to someone behind the wall that I couldn’t see.

Vernon was holding his Converse, mouth open.

Like a collection of roman statues, frozen in this moment.

“Um…” Joshua tilted his head at me. Like when Fluffy does when she finds something interesting. “I thought…you were kind of…dating Sam…”

“Oh,” I ran my fingers through my hair, “um…” I looked over at Sam, still perched on top of the couch, “no…we’re just friends…he’s actually dating my friend…back in America. I mean, she’s Korean American, I mean I think so?”

Everything is all messed up. I’m going to throw up that kimchi stew. I feel it coming. What on earth was I thinking. It just kind of spilled out. I didn’t mean to. The idea was there and it came out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea. I blame Wonwoo.

Joshua looked around at the other members, who still didn’t move.

“In that case, I think that would be fun,” he smiled, “as long as you let me plan it. Because…yeah…” he blushed.

He’s a human.

Mingyu blasted the sink again. Anything to break the silence. Seungcheol stood up, “all right guys let’s get some dinner.”

“Dinner is over,” Mingyu whined. “I just cleaned it up.”

“But we were busy,” the rainbow haired one walked through us. “Just warm it back up.”

“I’m not going to warm it back up you can warm it back up yourself,”

“But you do it the best…”

“Shut up no I don’t—“

Joshua put his guitar down. “Hand me your phone,” he said.

These jeans are so tight. I wrenched it out of my pocket and it flew through the air, but a hand caught it before it hit the ground.

Vernon. He looked at it, like it held a secret.

“Oh my gosh thank you,” I said trying to take it. But he wouldn’t let it go.
“Do you…have something to ask Siri?” 

Joshua laughed at my joke.

Where is the humor coming from? Anxiety apparently activates my funny bone. Noted.

Vernon held it above his head, taunting me.

What the hell.

Joshua snatched it out.

Praise someone who is taller than me.

He put his number in mine and texted himself in a matter of seconds.

“I’ll call you,” he smiled, and he left.

_________________________________________________________________

Elena: Hey guys I think I’m going to come home soon~ :)

Elena: OH MY GOSH SOMEBODY BE AWAKE PLEASE ALERT CALL THE AMBULANCE I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK

Elena: Seriously someone. Wake up. 

Sav: Are you ok? If you need someone you

Elena: SAV OH MY GOSH YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE

Kimmy: What is it Elena. You bought another dress?
Elena: YOU’RE WONWOO’S PHONE BACKGROUND!

Sav: what

Hampton: what

Elena: sfdsfjls

Elena: Wonwoo likes…curvy…girls and I showed him a picture of you and HE SET IT AS HIS PHONE BACKGROUND

Hampton: what

Sav: I don’t understand

Elena: IM SERIOUS IT’S TRUE

Kimmy: you’re hanging out with those underage pretty boys again?

Sav: I told you Kimmy, almost all of them are of age

Elena: AND I ASKED JOSHUA OUT

Hampton: you’re just jealous.

Kimmy: his phone background? Weird.

Hampton: YOU ASKED A BOY OUT???

Sav: I’m so confused.

Hampton: JOSHUA WAS MINE

Elena: guys I don’t know what’s happening

Kimmy: anyway the blond guy came back to the restaurant today and gave me a huge tip. He said he was sorry for not doing it last time and asked if it was ok if he became a regular. I told him I worked here as a regular, so I’d love to see him as a regular. ;)

Sav: YOU ASKED SEVENTEEN JOSHUA ON A DATE

Hampton: It’s ok. I forgive you. The vocal one with the chubby cheeks is adorable and 100% gay. I can’t wait to meet him.
Elena: I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME WONWOO TOLD ME TO

Sav: dskjfhdskhfdsf

Kimmy: he said to have an Americano prepared every morning at 10am and he’d be there

Sav: WHAT DID HE SAY

Elena: He gave me his number, and said he’d call me

Kimmy: pix or it didn’t happen

Elena: /sends screenshot of Joshua’s number/

Kimmy: excellent now I’ll call him

Hampton: Leave her alone Kimmy

Sav: WAIT YOU’RE GOING ON A DATE WITH JOSHUA HONG 

Sav: I’m like TT

Elena: well he hasn’t called me yet. 

Hampton: how long has it been?
Kimmy: what? I didn’t do anything.

Elena: a couple of hours? 

Kimmy: how does Sam feel about all of this?

Hampton: give him time. 

Sav: HOW ARE YOU OK

Elena: I’m not ok

Elena: Idk, I haven’t asked him.

Elena: He’s like, buttbuddies with all of them now. I left and he was still playing video games with them.

Kimmy: he’s made 13 boyfriends now? Is that why he hasn’t called me?

Hampton: how did you know there were 13 of them Kimmy?

Sav: IM PALPITATING SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE

Sav: Wait, YOU SHOWED SEVENTEEN WONWOO MY PROM PIC AND HE SET IT AS HIS BACKGROUND

Elena: yeah he said he liked Beyonce

Kimmy: it’s obvious

Sav: ok I’m not Beyonce though

Hampton: how is it obvious? They’re called 17. You’d think 17 members.

Hampton: I’m on to you Kimmy.

Elena: but you’re real life. 

Elena: also I forgot to tell you, Wonwoo told me to ask Joshua out.

Sav: wait, does he like Joshua?

Hampton: wait Beyonce? Did I miss something?

Kimmy: 17 is way too many for a boy group

Elena: he said he wanted me to check if Joshua would go out with a girl…for a friend. I don’t know what’s going on.

Hampton: and 13 isn’t? Please Kimmy.

__________________________________________________________________

I didn’t hear from Sam, for a while.

A long while.

Whenever I texted him, he said he had to work. Or that he had a friend over. He came over sometimes, to watch a movie or something. But I never truly heard from him. Not to ask which tie to wear or something stupid like that.

In fact, I didn’t really hear from anyone outside the group chat.

The temptation to text Joshua chewed at my cerebellum.

Sav kept telling me to call him, but she’d never asked anyone out before. Guys always asked her. Hampton however, had always been the one to take the initiative. He told me to give it time, and let him have his manhood.

The only one who messaged me back was Wonwoo.

Elena: hey, how is it going?

Wonwoo: Hey Ellie~ Things are going well. We’re super busy at the moment. But let’s catch up soon~

Elena: Ok! Let me know when you’re free!

February came. 

I read that they were having two concerts. I thought about going. But I was broke. Mom said Emmaline’s cancer had a recurrence. My daily anxiety skyrocketed. I sent my tutoring money home for chemo.

I texted Vernon on his birthday.

Elena: Hey Beanie! Happy birthday!

He never responded.

It’s fine. Everyone deserves to have a weekend with a Korean boy band right? And I asked a guy out for the first time. That took some courage. I’m proud of myself, even though it didn’t go anywhere. It was just a weekend I’d tell my kids about. I’d show them pictures of little grown up Vernon with his attractive wife and be like, ‘believe it or not kids, one time this kid bought me peach tea. Kind of,’ and a pretty Joshua and be like, ‘one time, I asked this kid out.’ Actually maybe I wouldn’t tell them. Because then I’d have to admit that he never called me back.

Mom booked my flight home— the cheapest one she could find, on China Air. May 13. It but my scholarship ended anyway, and without the tutoring money I couldn’t continue. But it’s fine. I’d learned another language and seen SHINee more than I could have hoped for. I’d go back to LA, get a job at In ’n’ Out or something, help with mom and Emmaline. Last time the emotional toll kept her in her room most days. Can’t afford both chemo and antidepressants. Obamacare is good. But it’s not that good.

Finals, then two months to tie up all the lose ends. Pay off my phone contract, say goodbye to my students, say goodbye to Sam. If he ever got time off of work.

March. It was getting warmer. I love Seoul springs.

News outlets started talking about a Seventeen comeback. I knew only because of Sav, who, understandably, liked to keep us updated on Wonwoo. I didn’t want to be reminded, but also let’s be honest I was dying to know.

Just in case.

But overall, everyone got over it. And I almost did too.

And then March 12 happened.

Shua: Hey Elena. I want to apologize for not contacting you. But I want to do it in person. In case you do want to give me a chance, I’m going to the river tomorrow. Across from the skate park. Around 2:00am. 

Shua: That's not a typo. 2am as in-- At night. /morning.

Shua: I have dark brown hair now

Shua: I’ll be the one with the guitar

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Note; sorry this chapter is kinda boring. Don't worry the next will be super squishy