I cried when Sav and Hampton entered the terminal. Not sure if it’s because it was actually that exciting or because I’m an emotional mess.  

The first night at the Ritz, we ordered chicken and beer and ate it on the nice carpeting. I told them the whole story, from my run in with Vernon on the subway, to the present day with them in Jeju. Sav wanted me to date Joshua, whereas Hampton was on team Vernon. But later he admitted that’s because he still has hopes for Joshua himself. I told him how there is no team Vernon. He is not in the picture. He’s just the guy I happened to meet first. And also--he’s not allowed to have Joshua. He’s gonna have to find another squeeze.

We spent one night at norabang. It wasn't supposed to be all night, but Sav wanted to sing the the entire Exo discography and Hampton started hitting on the waiter. Sav got more and more tipsy, and in the middle of Call Me Baby she dropped the mic, grabbed the waiter’s face, dragged him to the couch and they made out for 20 minutes, Kai’s name. Not telling Wonwoo about that. 

We went out to Hongdae one night. Sav got drunk before midnight and ran around showing the Kai video. Some things don’t change. I put Hampton in charge of her and went home early. Not gonna lie, that whole area makes me uncomfortable now, and Hampton said he understood. I texted Sam but he never answered, so I just slept.

The next day we went to Myeongdong and Sav bought all the new makeup Nature Republic had released. Her spending got her a free Kai lotion. Then she had to buy an extra suitcase to carry it all home. We went back to the Ritz and tried all the free face masks. Sam used a weird aloe one and his face stayed shiny for 2 days straight. 

Another night, we stayed out at Kimbap Angel and Sam challenged Hampton to a kimbap eating contest. We ordered one of each kind and somehow, Sam managed to eat half of every roll. Still worried about his weight, but he was out with us so it’s fine.

I realized that the appeal of Korea wasn’t Korea itself, but the friends and memories I had here. It was Sam and Sav and Hampton (and Kimmy). They were the reason I wanted to stay. And with them gone, Korea didn’t matter anymore. I’m going to go home on May 3, like mom wants me too. I have responsibilities back there, plus I’m broke anyway. I’m sure Sav and Hampton will follow. I’ll always remember my time with a Korean boy band—and I’m determined to kiss Joshua before I leave. It won’t be fun to say goodbye, and I should probably tell them soon, but it’s just life.

Joshua did text me a couple of times just asking how I was doing. He was worried that I was bored and lonely. I told him that I was with my friends, not to worry. He sent me a stupid picture of him listening to a conch shell and saying, “wish I could hear your voice”. I died.

Overall, I didn't forget about Joshua and Vernon etc, but they went to the back of my mind as the four of us took over Seoul again. By the time Sunday came around, I wasn’t looking forward to these worlds colliding in person. They're just so different, and I’m stuck in middle. How did I make sure everyone got along? How was I supposed to manage them?

That didn’t stop Sunday from coming.

____________________________________________________________________________

Only For Emergencies: still on for tonight right?

Elena: yeah! my friends are really looking forward to it haha

Only For Emergencies: good. See you at 6.

5:55. Sav strode up to the door. She was wearing the new gold eyeliner and tight shirt she bought at Lotte Department Store, hair curled and thrown back.

“You ready to make an impression Sav?” Hampton asked rolling his eyes.

“First impressions are the only impressions that matter Hampton,” she smiled walking up the steps, “They’re idols. They’ll know people. They’re my in to the industry. Once I’m backstage, I can find the guy that really matters.”

“What about Wonwoo?” Sam asked looking at me.

“Yes. And of course Wonwoo.”

“Let’s make a bet which will happen first. Sav kissing Wonwoo or Elena kissing Joshua,” Hampton said.

“Shut up,” I elbowed him. 

The butterflies returned. The recording room. His hand around my face.

“Why did you stop walking Ellie, come on!” Sam grabbed my wrist and shoved me to the door.

I knocked three times. I’m going to puke. Why did I eat.

The door flew open. 

What was I thinking. I couldn’t just go back to America and forget. How could I have forgotten those eyes. And that way he looked at me. And how he wore backwards snapbacks even indoors.

“Um…hey Joshua,” Sam pushed past me. “These are our friends Sav and Hampton.”

The door opened wider. 

“Hello Ellie’s friends!” Seungkwan smiled big. He looked over my shoulder at something, and faltered. Not important.

Sam pushed me in the door and Joshua caught me from tripping over the mess of shoes in the doorway. Tingles all through my shoulders. This is just like the first day all over again when I saw him making eggs in the kitchen. Why am I like this.

“You ok?” he asked laughing.

Oh my god. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

Focus Ellie. Focus.

We turned the corner. Mingyu was once again at the stove.

“Hello everyone! My name is Sav, short for Savania. It was supposed to be Savannah, but my mom spelled it wrong on the birth sheet. Dad didn’t marry her for her brains. Nice to meet you,” she said in perfect Korean bowing slightly. Everyone chuckled.

“Is she always like this?” Joshua laughed in my ear. She makes a great distraction for the joshena going on over here in the corner.

“And this is Hampton,” Sam pulled Hampton forward. His ears reddened all the way up to his white blond hair and he waved awkwardly. “Hey guys, I’m Hampton. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you guys, and good to see you all again,” Seungcheol stepped forward shaking Hampton’s hand, bowing to Sav, and winking at Joshua and I. 

A chorus of introductions and hellos followed but Joshua’s hand was on my back so I didn’t catch everything.

He’s just a boy Ellie. Just a silly boy. Who smoked weed in high school and has 8 chinchillas who he misses dearly and identifies with Squidward.

“How was Jeju?” I asked him turning.

He got a little tanner.

It looks good.

“Excellent. I missed you though,” he smiled. 

Oh my god.

I was wrong. I can’t just leave.

“Holy , Mingyu looks just like Kai. How did you fail to mention this??” Sav appeared and whispered under her breath. 

Joshua laughed. “Oh hey Josh,” she smiled knowingly. “Or should I call you Shua?”

“Sav,” I elbowed her.

“Joshua is fine,” he pushed us into the kitchen smiling.

“You’re just in time for dinner,” Mingyu turned around, in his same apron. This time sans hairnet, but large pink rubber gloves.

“I made fried chicken!”

“We’ve been smelling it for hours,” Minghao complained.

“It finished 8 minutes ago,” Mingyu snapped.

“I’ve been smiling it for hours,” Minghao repeated.

“It smells amazing~~” Sav walked over to Mingyu.

She’s insane. How did I even get a friend like her.

“Where’s Wonwoo?” I asked.

“Oh, he hasn’t been feeling too great lately. He was taking a nap in Vernon’s room. I’m sure he’ll be out soon—no one could sleep through this” Joshua said dropping his hand as we got in line for food.

“Hello, my name is Seungkwan. I’m from Jeju,” I heard Seungkwan say to Hampton from across the room.

“Wanna play Mario? I set up it’s all ready to go!” Chan said looking up at Sam. “You promised to teach me how to drift.”

There’s so many people here. My head already hurts.

“You okay?” Joshua asked scooping a mountain of rice onto a plate.

“Yeah, I’m fine,”

“It’s kind of noisy in here,” 

“I’m good. Really.” 

He grabbed  two drumsticks and two white pieces

“Wow you hungry?”

“What? Oh no,” he said, “this is for both of us.”

Right. Of course it is.

“Hey Converse,” Vernon cut through the crowd of people. “Good to see you,” he beamed. 

“Ellie! What did you think of SHINee’s Inkigayo performance?? Did you see Key’s shirt? I HAVE THAT SHIRT!!” Hoshi ran over.

“The girl is hungry guys. Let her through,” Joshua smiled as we made our way to Vernon’s room.

“I thought we were supposed to be keeping our relationship on the downlow?” I whispered.

“Eh, they’re dense. Woozi and Wonwoo obviously know. I think Seungcheol and Seungkwan have guessed. The rest of them won’t know until they’re told. And then they’ll probably forget,” he opened the door, “they still don’t know about Vernon and Seungkwan”

What.

“Oh hey Wonwoo, sorry to wake you up,” Joshua closed the door behind us as Wonwoo sat up and stretched on the bed.

“Wait…Vernon and—“

“Ellie! I didn’t know you were coming over!” he said, putting on his glasses.

“You didn’t?” Joshua set up the little table and put our plate on it. “Where have you been?”

“Just…in my thoughts I guess…” he yawned. “Good to see you Ellie.”

The door slammed open as Sav rolled in with a heaping plate of chicken, Mingyu close behind her. Not sure if he was following her, or following the food.

“Oh hey! Thought we’d join you,” she said winking and sitting across from us.

Joshua went quiet for a moment saying his prayer.

I looked up. Wonwoo. He’d scooted to the back of the bed, frozen against the wall.

Sav was chatting up Mingyu as he stuffed his face.

Did anyone tell him?

Was he warned about this?

Did his lock screen just walk in the room unannounced?

Oh my god.

The poor dear.

He wouldn't make eye contact. Just staring at the back of Sav’s black embre curls. Not sure if he’s begging her to turn around or leave and never return.

Relatable.

Chopsticks near my mouth.

Joshua’s feeding me. 

Oh my god.

I awkwardly reached my mouth over and slipped the chicken and rice into my mouth.

Seriously Mingyu isn’t going to notice this?

Maybe Joshua’s right. He’s over there digging at his chicken while Sav yaps his ear off. That boy has one sense activated right now and one sense only.

I elbowed Joshua and we looked at Wonwoo, who still hadn’t stopped staring at her back.

This is the cutest and the most hilarious thing I have seen…today.

“Hey Sav,” I interrupted some clubbing story, “have you met Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo looked up and shook his head no no from behind her

“Hm?” she turned over her shoulder just as Wonwoo grabbed the quilt and held it up to his chin. 

Joshua laughed and dug at more rice.

I don’t feel bad for him at all. This is revenge. For leaving me with Joshua and kimchi soup. He’ll thank me.

“Oh hi,” she scrambled off the floor and walked to the bed.

He put the quilt down and took off his glasses.

“I’m Sav,” she said tucking hair behind her ear, “nice to meet you.”

Joshua tried to get more rice on his chopsticks but he was snickering too hard.

“Hi…Wonwoo. I’m Wonwoo. Hi,” he tried in English.

Mingyu turned around, chicken dangling from his mouth. “Want some chicken hyung?”

“No…I’m ok,” he swallowed deeply.

“You sure?” Sav motioned to the table. “Come on, come eat with us!”

He nodded and slid off the bed next to the table.

Is this what I looked like when I saw Joshua for the first time. Or 10 minutes ago.

I’m embarrassed for my past self.

Satisfied, she returned sitting and started digging at Mingyu’s chicken.

“So what I was saying…” Sav returned to her story.

I grabbed some rice with my own chopsticks. This is great. Everything about this moment is great.

“I adore you,” Wonwoo suddenly said.

I coughed on my rice and Joshua lightly hit my back holding in a laugh.

Is this happening.

“What?” Sav turned around looking confused.

Oh my god.

“I mean, I,  your eyes? Dazzle? I mean,”

Mingyu slurped up a giant piece of greasy skin.

“I’m hungry,” Wonwoo got up and hurried toward the door,

“Wait there’s plenty of chicken here hyung!” Mingyu yelled after him, mouth full.

But Wonwoo was far gone.

I held my hand over my mouth trying to keep the rice from spilling out. This is just too funny. 

Sav stared at the door, chewing on the edges of her chopsticks.

“You should ask him out Sav,” I said swallowing.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not you guys.”

Mingyu picked up more chicken. He has to know. 

The door opened again, letting in riotous laughter from outside and Jeonghan strode in.

He put his plate down on Joshua’s other side and spoke to him in rapid Korean, completely ignoring my existence. 

Better to be ignored then hated? 

Trying to stay optimistic.

Sav was picking at her rice. One grain at a time and putting it back down.

“Are you going to eat that?” Mingyu asked pointing to the chicken on her plate.

“No, I’m ok,” she responded. He put it in his mouth in one bite.

The door opened again. Hampton and Seungkwan came in laughing and sat down across from us. 

What happened to this being a private spot?

“So I told him that his outfit looked like it had been picked out by his mother, and he goes, ‘it was’!” Hampton told the end to his favorite joke.

Seungkwan burst out in laughter.

“You ok Sav?” he asked, wiping the crumbs off the table and putting them neatly on his napkin.

She stared off into space, swirling her chopsticks around.

Hampton and Seungkwan rose their eyebrows and looked at each other at the same time and they died laughing again.

My phone buzzed. 

Kimmy: wow glad to see you guys are having a good time

Kimmy: *picture of three of them going into Vernon’s apartment*

. Where's Sam in this picture?

I elbowed Joshua and showed him the text under the table.

He looked up worried.

Elena: where did you see this?

Kimmy: it’s all over twitter

Hampton checked his phone and looked up at me.

Hampton: since when are you on twitter?

Kimmy: I’ve always been on twitter.

“What do we do?” I whispered in Joshua’s ear.

“I don’t know,” he looked me square in the eyes, “I don’t have enough dresses for all of us.”

Oh my god why is he so funny.

He’s not funny.

There’s way too many people here. The implications of this are too complicated. I don’t have the brain capacity to factor so many variables into a solid plan.

“I mean, you could just spend the night?”

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