KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! I'm so happy right now I don't know how to contain this! First, I saw EXO live. Then, Xiumin Oppa winked at me. Lastly, I was scouted by ILY Ent and not just any employee, but the CEO himself! I'm so lucky.

But there's a downside of course. My dad left us with a huge debt. Luckily, Mr. Lee payed it for us. We are so indebted to him.

"Eomma, why did you agree with Mr. Lee's preposition?" I'm really curious. There's this unsettling feeling inside me that I didn't know where from

"Geunyang." Mweo? Geunyang? My mom answered that? I looked at her with surprise and disbelief. That wasn't like her. She always thinks rationally. 

"Yah! Don't think about it and focus on your studies as well as your upcoming career. After we have paid off our debt with Mr. Lee, you'll stop being an idol and focus on your studies. You need to finish your college." Guerae. Nan ara. My mom wouldn't let me be an idol without a catch. She thinks rationally, yes, as long as there's a benefit. 

It wasn't bad, right? At least I got to experience being an idol once in my life.

---

Days passed in a bliss and today was the audition day. I don't know why I still need to audition but it was fine with me. I don't want to use Mr. Lee into my advantage. He was already kind enough to help us, I don't want to sulk his name because I wanted to be an idol. I didn't even went to return his ID at the front desk. I don't want them to give me special treatment or know that Mr. Lee scouted me.

Making me think of why I should be doing auditions didn't help in calming me down. Doing this in front of somebody else is so wrecking! What if I made a mistake? What if someone has the same piece as me? Will that make me a copy-cat? Or will that lessen his/her opportunity to be picked? Or what if I wasn't really good enough to be an idol? Maybe only Mr. Lee sees me fit for this new group. Eoddeokhae? I don't want to disappoint him

I wore a a white long sleeves topped it with gray blazer and a purple neck tie. I wore white skirt for my bottom and wore black high socks and white sneakers. This outfit is inspired of Girls' Generation. I laid my hair down and curled it a little to give volume. I just put powder and lipstick for my make up because I want them to be impressed with my skills not only with my appearance.

"Number 624 Kim Mi Rae-ssi! Number 624 Kim Mi Rae-ssi! Your turn." This is it, I guess. There's no turning back. I just have to give my best!

With my heart pounding like it was going to explode out of my chest, I walked towards the center. I bowed as I approach the judges.

"Annyeonghaseyo. Jeneun Kim Mi Rae-imnida. Yeol yeodeol sal-imnida." I bow again as I finished introducing myself

"Ah ye, what will you show us, Kim Mi Rae-ssi?" one of the judges asked. I looked at Mr. Lee and saw him smiling. Not much though, maybe because he doesn't want to influence the judges' deision towards my performance. There were 10 judges to be exact as they announced it earlier. Scanning the other judges, I saw Suho Oppa, Jimin Oppa, CL Unnie and Hyoyeon Unnie. My eyes grew large as I saw them. They were all looking at me and smiling. I don't know what to feel! I'm so nervous but so happy at the same time! Seeing my idols made my heart beats faster. They were giving me courage but also a lot more pressure making me more nervous.

"Ah, I'll be doing Into the New World by So Nyuh Si Dae." crap! I don't think I could do this. I'm so nervous right now. I couldn't think of any other thing. I couldn't even focus looking at my idols. This may even bring disgrace for Hyoyeon Unnie. I should've pick something else! I didn't know idols will be here. I thought the judges will only consist of PDs and teachers. 

"All right. Show us what you've got." Mr. Lee said.

As soon as the music started, I did my best as I could. There were some minimal mistakes and I don't know if they noticed it or not. I prepared for a week and done in a blink. I wasn't that good but I hoped I'm not that bad for them. 

"Thank you for that performance, Ms. Kim. We'll contact you with the results. I hope to see you." Mr. Lee said. I bowed and thanked them before leaving the area. It was so scary being watched, especially judged by others. I didn't think about this when I was watching my idols. It wasn't only me who was watching them, but the whole world. They must've felt more pressured than I am and this was just auditions. I was so excited that I forgot to remind myself that being an idol means being a public figure.

Three more contestants and the staff announced that it was lunch break. I didn't leave yet because my heart won't settle. I don't know if this is because of my performace or is it because my idols saw me performing. I face slapped myself as I head towards the comfort room. I so failed this audition! 

I washed my face and bowed my head towards the sink. I better give up. It's no that I don't have a talent. It's just that I'm not confident enough with what I have. I dance and sing alone, that's given because no kpop fan doesn't do it, but it's a different matter when it comes to auditions. A week of preparation wasn't enough to prepare me mentally. 

"Don't worry! You've done great!" I gasped as I heard someone. I looked up and my eyes grew large as I saw Hyoyeon Unnie on the mirror. "I'm sorry if I startled you. You were narrating out loud." she said as she smiled. I felt embarrased. She heard everything that I was only supposed to be thinking. Dear Mother Earth, swallow me to your belly!

"Does the earth even have a belly?" another familiar voice camed up and saw CL Unnie behind me. "Hi!" she said with a big smile.

"I--uhm--I." 

"Don't give up. Hyoyeon-ssi is right. You've done great. I know you'll make it to the next round. Just believe in yourself." she said as she wash her hands

"You're both stunning." I said absent mindedly.

"Thank you and see you on your debut stage." Hyoyeon Unnie said as they head out. 

I can't believe it. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THEY TALKED TO ME! THEY EVEN ENCOURAGED ME! THIS IS SO AMAZING! I can't describe what I'm feeling right now. This is so unexpected and a miracle at the same time. There was one in a million chance that the'll talk to me. I'm so speechless! I'm crying because of this mixed emotions I'm having. This emotions are good ones. I never felt so happy in my life! 

I'm glad I did this.