Chapter 14
The Monster In My Head
A voice whispered, looking at the two messed up people trying to figure out life. As always he hid in the darkness, keeping an eye on everything.
"I know." - Yoongi answered, his black orbs never meeting Jin Ae's grey ones.
"Huh?" - Jin Ae looked at him with a perplexed expression.
"I know what goes on with you. You don't have to hide it, at least not in front of me." - Yoongi replied, his gaze fixed at the lamp post on the end of the alley.
"H..how?" - Jin Ae's voice cracked, the shock was too great or maybe she was too drunk.
"Someday, when you are in the right state of your mind or when you suddenly get up one morning and remember us having this conversation maybe that time I'll let you know. But for now let's get you home." - Suga calmly explained, his moist eyes finally locking with her's.
Just like the previous time, he extended his pale hands to help Jin Ae stand up on her feet. She grabbed onto to that promising hand, unaware of the destiny it held for the both of them.
The man in darkness simply smiled looking at them before disappearing into nothingness.
"Get on my back" - Suga commanded and Jin Ae quietly followed it, too drunk to protest.
"Sometimes you feel like you are trapped inside a snow globe. But instead of the pretty snow flakes falling down on you, it's only rain drops made out of your own tears falling down at you. There aren't any white fluffy clouds in our snow globes. Only grey clouds which threaten to release all their wrath on us any moment. When everyone sleeps peacefully at night. We cry and cry, praying that this becomes the last night we breath but our prays go unheard, like always." - Suga's voice had such deep forlornness in it. It was the voice of someone who had only been greeted by sadness his entire life. The only response he got from Jin Ae was the warm tears wetting his already damp shirt. On that rainy day the only thing that pierced through his cold heart was the warm tears of sadness. Walking through the cold deserted street back home several thoughts ran through their heads. But one specific thought nested itself in Yoongi's mind.Never did he imagine that there would come a day when sadness felt so friendly. It was somehow becoming addicting.
"Even though we are living and dying at the same time, remember the dawn right before the sunrises is always the darkest."
With that said, Yoongi dropped Jin Ae in front of her home and watched her waddle her way upstairs, into her rooftop house and shut the door.
"Jin Ae ah! Why didn't you pick up my calls yesterday!? Are you alright? How are you feeling !?" - Namjoon flooded Jin Ae with questions, all these questions had infested his mind yesterday unable to make him fall asleep.
"Yah! What are you doing here? What if someone sees you !?" - Jin Ae worriedly covered Namjoon's head with the hood.
"Yah! Is that important right now!? You had a ing panic attack yesterday!" - Namjoon shot back. His worried face causing Jin Ae to break into a soft smile
"It's alright Namjoon-ah, it's no big deal. You seriously didn't have to come till my house for that" - Jin Ae explained.
"You were a screaming mess yesterday! Plus you didn't even pick my calls ! Do I need any further reason to not visit you? But wait, what's that?" - Namjoon questioned, pointing at the drink in Jin Ae's hand.
"Ahhh this. Ginseng Drink, I'm having a pretty bad headache. So I thought this would help reduce it. Want some? I have another one" - Jin Ae took out another drink from her bag.
"I'll have that, thankyou." - A hand quickly snatched the bottle from Jin Ae's hand.
"Yah!" - Namjoon glared that Jeo Seung.
"Oh? I didn't know we were close enough to use an informal tone with each other" - Jeo Seung grinned, causing Namjoon all his might to not break those perfect white teeth of his.
"How long have you been standing there?" - Jin Ae questioned, taken aback by the number of unexpected visitors she was having today.
"Long enough to hear you guys bricker." - Jeo Seung coolly replied, sipping his drink.
"Are you guys going to stay there all day?" - Namjoon said with an annoyed tone, he was already walking ahead of them on their way to college.
"How are you friends with him?" - Jeo Seung nudged Jin Ae,making her giggle.
"I CAN HEAR YOU!" - Namjoon replied with a clearly pissed tone.
"So where were you last night?" - Jeo Seung questioned Jin Ae as they entered the campus.
"Yeah, where were you? Your phone also was switched off" - Namjoon added, now walking next to Jin Ae.
"Ahhh I don't remember." - Jin Ae let out an embarrassed laugh.
Jeo Seung just smiled, this wasn't the first time he heard that reason. He was used to hear Jin Ae say that but Namjoon wasn't.
"WHAT!?" - Namjoon exclaimed, so shocked that he stopped walking.
"Stop overacting" - Jeo Seung sneered.
He was about to comment something else when he saw Jin Ae mouth him 'shut up'.
"What" - Jeo Seung mouthed back with a pout.
"Namjoon-ah, let's keep walking." - Jin Ae suggested, pulling Namjoon by his hand. But Namjoon wanted answers.
"I'm not moving even an inch from here until you tell me what happened yesterday." - Namjoon gave a firm reply, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Namjoon-ah, don't you think I would have told you if I knew where I was? It's frustrating even for me to not remember. It feels like I'm missing something important. Something that I need to remember." - Jin Ae answered, feeling a bit hollow after last night. It was weird, apparently that hollow feeling was like a breathing hole in the suffocated world she lived in. She was feeling hallow because the heavy weight she was so accustomed to lift on her shoulders had suddenly become light, like someone else was carrying it for her or better, sharing it.
"I don't know. It feels like you hide a lot of things." - Namjoon replied, deep down hoping that Jin Ae lets him in on all her secrets.
Jin Ae didn't reply, she couldn't. Jin Ae looked ar Namjoon with guilt in her eyes. Hoping he could hear the words she never spoke out loud.
"If you knew what I am and what I do would you still stay next to me?"
"Would you believe me?"
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