She avoided him like a plague.

 

The minute she found out Sehun had an actual job, Bambi always made sure to wake up way too early in the morning to leave for work and then come home running straight to her bedroom after eating dinner somewhere else. This went on for weeks and there were at least two times when he almost caught her, but she was too fast for him.

 

There were moments when she wanted to give up, solely because she wanted more sleep. But her desire to stay away from him motivated her to get up at an ungodly hour every morning. She thanked the heavens that weekends existed for she used those two days to recharge her batteries for the following five days that she won't be getting enough sleep.

 

Although her tactics seemed obvious and screamed 'I don't want to be bothered!', Sehun only used that against her by trying to push her buttons. Last week, he went as far as gathering all her friends in the loft just to get her out of her room to spend some time with them. Granted, they weren't aware of the cold war going on between Sehun and Bambi, it still annoyed her that he went on a limb and actually did it. A few days after that, he clogged the kitchen sink on purpose.

 

The most recent incident, which happened this morning, involved hiding her coffee mix somewhere she couldn't possibly find it. She's guessing his bedroom since it's the only place she didn't search. As expected the second she discovered it was gone, she ends up going to work with only a few hours of sleep and zero coffee; frantically too, might she add.

 

“Bambi!” The urgent tone of her boss' voice snaps her back into reality. “File, please! THE file.”

 

“Right! Got it!” She forces a grin while rummaging through her desk and bag right away.

 

Thinking it's just the lack of sleep, she searches for it twice, and then thrice. She couldn't possibly miss it, because she wrote 'Important!!! FILE!!!!' on the manila folder in big letters. She underlined each word twice as well.

 

If it's not here, then--

 

“Noooooo...”

 

Her mind instantly goes back to this morning. She managed to shower and get ready in peace, unaware of her impending doom. She set the file next to her and went on to prepare her coffee like she always did. But what was this? Her coffee mix was nowhere to be found. She scoured through the entire loft and then, she checked the time. Only five minutes left until Sehun woke up for his jog. She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, drank a glass of water, muttered to herself ' it', and then left the apartment.

 

WITHOUT THE FILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No!”

 

I'm going to KILL Sehun, I swear to God.

 

“Say that in bed and you're a winner,” Her co-worker jokes.

 

Bambi's head snaps towards the direction of the voice. “That is NOT funny. This is not funny. Oh no. Oh God, oh God.” She grabs a handful of her hair, tempted to pull every single strand out then and there. “On a scale of one to I'm ing fired, how mad would Joanna be if I don't hand her the report right now?”

 

“About a nine point 'get out of my ing office and go on a bird' mad.”

 

“Oh God. Why? Why me?!” She stands up and then paces back and forth.

 

“Where'd you leave it anyway?”

 

“At home.” Bambi bites her nails in the midst of thinking of a possible solution.

 

“Which is half an hour from here on a good day, no traffic.” Her co-worker pauses to think. “I change my mind. 'You're ing fired' mad. Definitely.”

 

“Not helping.”

 

“What are you gonna do?”

 

“Oh, I don't know. I'll just sit here and relax. Have a cup of tea, because I'm having the best time of MY ING LIFE!” She screeches, sitting back down on her chair.

 

“Calm down. Maybe we can get someone to send it to you virtually.”

 

“Eunah, this is JOANNA we're talking about. Has she ever wanted THE file to be viewed digitally????????”

 

“How would I know? She never trusted the file with me.”

 

“I'm dead. I'm SO DEAD. Oh God. Oh God. My whole life's flashing right before my eyes.” She massages her temples, trying to prevent a headache from piercing through her brain.

 

“Bambi.” Eunah nudges her gently.

 

“Is there a chance that I can travel back through time?” Bambi asks herself out loud.

 

“Bambi!”

 

“Why haven't time machines been invented yet?”

 

“BAMBI!”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“Someone wants to see you.” Eunah stares at the visitor standing near the receptionist's desk.

 

What perfect timing. “Tell whoever it is, NOT NOW.”

 

“He's got the file, honey.”

 

Bambi looks up at her and Eunah is already gesturing towards the entrance of their office.

 

She turns around and her heart sinks at the sight of the familiar tall figure outside. “Oh dear God,” She murmurs, reluctantly dragging her feet to where her 'savior' of the day is.

 

Sehun sends her a warm smile as she gets nearer. “You left this at home. I figured...” He waves the folder and she could feel her own handwriting mocking her. “You needed it.”

 

She avoids his eyes. “Yeah um... I kind of--”

 

“ed up?”

 

“You could say that.”

 

“This is because you've been avoiding me for weeks.”

 

“No...” She makes a face while swaying back and forth. “This is because I've been waking up a little too early for the past few weeks.”

 

“Which is your way of avoiding me,” He counters.

 

“Okay. No need to get analytical, Sherlock Holmes.”

 

“You've been pretty good at it.”

 

“Well--” A proud smile forms on her face.

 

“Until this happened.” He holds the folder up and instantly, his smirk is back.

 

“Look, can you just give me the file? It's a matter of life and death,” She says as he an eyebrow in disbelief. “Well, a matter of keeping my job or getting fired in the most humiliating way possible.”

 

“Sure.” He sighs, “Promise me one thing though.”

 

What NOW? “If it's to allow you to 'get to know me', then no. I stand by what I've been doing the past couple of weeks.”

 

“No.” He lets a hearty laugh out. “Just go back to your normal routine. I promise I won't ask any intruding questions.”

 

Bambi suspiciously stares at him for a moment. This isn't a trap, is it? First, my friends. Next, the sink, and then my coffee mix. “You're not moving out, are you?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

Damn it. “Okay...” Her tone turns serious, “I promise to go about my normal ways.”

 

Sehun gladly hands her the file. “So...a travel magazine, huh?” He asks a bit more relaxed as he looks around.

 

She nods. “How'd you know where to find me?”

 

“Took a wild guess. You have a stack of these at home.” He points at some of the covers of the magazine hanging around the receptionist area. She instantly raises an eyebrow, waiting for a more plausible answer. “I also asked Amber to make sure.”

 

She suppresses a laugh and gives him a grateful smile. “Thank you. Really. Thank you...so much...for this.”

 

“No worries.” He returns her smile with a wave.

 

She hugs the envelope, internally sighing in relief.

 

She isn't going to get fired. That's what's most important. And to think she'd already come up with seven different ways to murder Sehun. Maybe he isn't so bad after all.

 

As he turns around to leave, he bubbles, “I'll see you at home, little one.”

 

So close. She rolls her eyes and gruffly shoos him.

 

The sooner he left, the better.

***

“What's your favorite color?” Sehun asks as soon as Bambi enters the loft.

 

She frowns and proceeds to the kitchen to grab a snack.“I thought you weren't going to ask any intruding questions. Don't break your promise.” She waves her finger 'no' back and forth before looking in the fridge.

 

She's eternally grateful to him for saving her today, but not THAT grateful.

 

“This isn't an intruding question. Since when is asking somebody about their favorite color considered intrusive?”

 

She glares at him, almost banging the refrigerator door behind her. “Since you happened.”

 

“Touching.” He smiles ironically before persuading her again, “Come on. It's as shallow as you can get in the world of questions. What makes you think that--”

 

“Grey,” She replies shortly while popping a cheeto in .

 

A smirk slowly forms on his lips. “What's your...favorite movie?”

 

“Are you trying to play 21 questions with me?” She an eyebrow unimpressed.

 

“Yeah and you just lost one of yours.”

 

“What?”

 

“19 questions. You don't want to run out you know.”

 

Back to pushing my buttons now, are you? “Get out,” She warns through gritted teeth.

 

“I've never heard of that movie. We should watch it together.” He chuckles.

 

“When are you going to stop?” She questions, trying to subtly leave the kitchen.

 

He follows her every single step, making sure she doesn't get away this time. “When my 21 questions are up. 18 questions left for you now, my friend.”

 

Before she could sprint for her room, an all too familiar buzzing interrupts. A wave of relief washes over her as she waits to see who exactly her hero is.

 

“What? I can't come over to hang out anymore?” Jongdae raises an eyebrow at her eager stare, but slowly directs his attention to the refrigerator. “Also, we ran out of chocolate chip cookies...”

 

He then waves and grins at Sehun. “Hey man!”

 

Sehun lazily waves back as the buzzing of the front door goes off again.

 

“Jongdae! I told you not to leave the door open!” A voice that Bambi knows all too well scolds as soon as he enters the apartment.

 

“I figured you'd come over too so...” The other shrugs and turns to smirk at Kyungsoo. “I was right.”

 

“I'm starting to re-evaluate my life choices,” Bambi murmurs to herself while looking up at the ceiling.

 

“You're only starting now?” Kyungsoo questions teasingly as the same buzzing from the front door echoes in the room once more.

 

“Hey! Did you hear about--?” Sandara enters with a huge grin and scans the room carefully, “Oh my...the fourth floor gang's here!”

 

“That's what they'll call us,” Bambi sarcastically throws and Kyungsoo snorts, trying to restrain himself from laughing.

 

“But no, you guys, I'm serious,” Sandara explains, striding her way to the refrigerator, “Can't you hear the ruckus going on outside?”

 

Everyone in the room stays silent and tries to listen to what exactly she's pertaining to. All Bambi could hear is faint shouting at a distance. If she isn't mistaken, the drama's happening near Sandara's place.

 

“401?” She asks curiously.

 

Sandara nods a yes. “Wife finally found out.”

 

Gasps of shock and disbelief are exchanged between the three.

 

“Are they OUTSIDE their apartment right now? Man, those two can shout.” Jongdae makes a face and shakes his head.

 

“Well, if they weren't awhile ago, they probably are now,” Sandara replies.

 

“What now?” He stares at the front door, aching to know what's going to happen next.

 

“What do you mean, 'What now?' I'm here, aren't I?” She sasses, “I had to get out of there! I didn't want to be stuck in my apartment with an old couple next door arguing over who deteriorated more over the years.”

 

The men send her incredulous looks and ultimately decide to eavesdrop on the Mr. and Mrs. Atienza drama by peeping out the front door.

 

Bambi watches them in amusement, but has no desire of joining. Listening to other people's business isn't really her thing. The situation also feels too familiar and the last thing she needs is a second flashback today.

 

“I'll be in the terrace if you need me,” She announces softly.

 

The guys nod while Sandara sends her a curious look with furrowed eyebrows. “You alright, sweetie?”

 

Bambi nods while returning an assuring smile. “It's just not something of my interest.”

 

Sandara tilts her head, getting the feeling that her friend isn't completely telling the truth. She stares at her, mentally debating whether or not to ask Bambi about it.

 

“Okay,” The older one finally says, “I'll see you in a bit. I wanna know if I'm going to get a new neighbor or not.”

 

Bambi manages to let out a short chuckle before heading to the roof terrace.

 

The wind is chilling, but not intruding; just the way she likes it. She looks back at the door before taking a seat in the hanging pod chair she's especially fond of. Taking in the serenity she always feels whenever she stays in the terrace, she sighs in regret. She kept out of the drama happening nearby to stop thinking about the past. But here she is, thinking about it anyway.

 

The thing about these nerve racking flashbacks is that it isn't just the bad that runs through her mind, but the good as well. To her, it's feels like feeding the poison in disguise of her favorite dessert.

 

She admits that there were a lot of ethereally beautiful moments; moments that will always bring a smile to her face and make her heart burst in all sorts of wonders. But in an instant, they shatter.

 

One incident.

 

Just one incident and everything else is forgotten. Tainted.

 

That's the weird thing about love. You're able to make a lifetime worthy of grin inducing memories, but it only takes one grave and staggering mistake to ruin it. The little things, like the way he laughed at her all too 'smooth' dancing, the way he complained every Monday morning about his shirt being too wrinkled while pouting way too close to her face, the way he pulled her close to whisper an unnecessary joke at an inappropriate time, the way he gazed at her with relaxed and loving eyes, all once validated his 'undying' feelings for her.

 

But those little things stopped to matter after that one night. The innumerable happy moments crushed by one giant abyss of pain and betrayal.

 

He ran after her. Not me.

 

He pleaded to her. Not me.

 

He looked only at her. Never at me.

 

That was the reality. It was he who walked out on their relationship. It was he who changed his mind. It was he who threw all those little things away. Besides knowing all that, she can't help but ask herself, “Was I never enough?”

 

And before she knows it, tears flow out of her eyes nonstop. Her chest tightens and her breath hitches. She wishes to know how to turn it off, but at this point, there's no way to stop it. All this time, she was able to hold it in, but a day comes when she's no longer able to be strong. No longer able to hide and pretend everything's okay.

 

The last time an occurrence like this happened was a day after Aaron's funeral. She didn't shed a single tear during, only because she wanted Amber and the rest of the Liu family a strong shoulder to cry on. But the day after, when she knew she was all alone and there was no way of anyone knowing, she crumbled to pieces. She screamed, she cried, she threw anything in her room that reminded her of him. “I was happy, I was happy,” She kept repeating to herself as she buried her face in her hands.

 

She feels stupid for thinking about it, for being so weak when it comes to him.

 

Why?

 

That was the one and only thing she wanted to ask him that night. Why did he decide to find someone new? Why did he make love to that someone in the one place he knows that he'd get caught? Why did he stop loving her? Why did he give up on her?

 

That's what's hurting her the most. Not knowing. Unlike every other person who's been betrayed by someone they loved dearly, she has no closure. In a flash, all the answers were taken away right before her eyes.

 

“Hey.”

 

Bambi turns at the gentle voice of her best friend.

 

“Oh my God. Oh my God, sweetie.” Amber immediately pulls her into a tight embrace and pats her back in order to try and soothe her. “I'm so sorry.”

 

No. Bambi wants to say. It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. Your brother's sins were never yours.

 

“Look at me, Bambi. Aaron doesn't deserve your tears. He never did.” Amber cups her cheeks and looks at her straight in the eyes. “I wish I could offer you an explanation. Anything to--”

 

“But you can't,” Bambi says softly, trying to sniff all the tears away, “I will never know what went through his mind that night. That day. All I know is that...he stopped loving me.”

 

For a moment, they sit side by side in silence.

 

Bambi internally thanks her best friend for knowing she doesn't need any further comfort. What she'd done was enough.

 

Amber had picked up all the pieces and did everything she could that same day after the funeral. When Bambi ransacked her own bedroom, she came over the loft to see how she was doing. Needless to say, Amber wasn't pleased. Bambi had passed out on the floor, face puffy and frown evident. After she woke up, she found her arms wrapped around her best friend tightly.

 

She didn't hold back. Each detail and emotion out in the open. It wasn't hard for Amber to believe her either. She saw the girl hanging around her brother way before the night he passed away and she always assumed the girl was a friend.

 

“Aaron was an ,” Amber thinks aloud.

 

“I know,” Bambi agrees with a faint smile.

 

Amber turns to look at her. “Are you gonna be okay?”

 

Bambi sighs, “I can only hope so.”

 

“You've been saying that for a year.”

 

She chuckles at the suspicious glance Amber is casting her way. “Thank you.” She squeezes her hand and sends her a warm smile. “For everything.” You're the only one who knows.

 

Amber returns her smile. “I'm still the better best friend, right?”

 

Bambi lets out a loud laugh. Unbelievable.

 

“I'll be in there if you need me.” Amber gives her one last hug before going back in the loft.

 

While trying to recover from the sob fest she unleashed only a few minutes ago, another visitor comes Bambi's way.

 

“Is it just me or are you getting REALLY addicted to this place?”

 

“Hi,” Bambi greets with a small smile.

 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo greets back as he sits next to her. “We kind of missed you in there. They're getting a divorce by the way. Apparently, Mr. Atienza has been leeching off of Mrs. Atienza's money. It was the other way around, not as we initially thought.”

 

He chuckles at the unbelievable exchange that happened between husband and wife, but studies Bambi's face closely. “Are you okay?”

 

Oh, God...

 

“Kyungsoo, I need to tell you something,” She says with a deep sigh, “It's um...it's...it's about--” She internally curses herself for becoming a bumbling idiot in front of her best friend. “God, it's been a year and I can't even--”

 

“It's okay, Bambi. Take your time.” He sends her a reassuring smile.

 

After taking several deep breaths, she finally reveals, “It's about Aaron.”

 

He listens eagerly.

 

“You remember the night—that night he um...he passed away?”

 

He nods, growing curious.

 

“I came home from work and I...I...” She looks down at her hands. “I found him in bed with another woman.”

 

He then reaches for her hand and gently squeezes it, silently asking for her to go on.

 

“She was really pretty, you know? Not just your typical pretty. But like perfectly proportioned, face carved by the gods kind of pretty. I can never forget her. I remembered when I saw her, I suddenly changed my mind about tattoos. She had one sitting comfortably on her back, a blue and yellow winged butterfly. Then, there was Aaron. He suited her well despite his average looks. Even if it was just for a second, I felt like I was intruding. Like I was the second woman. It didn't help that she kept glaring at me. I couldn't hear the screaming and the arguments being thrown back and forth between them, because all I could see was the disarray of his entire room. And you know Aaron. He always liked to keep things neat. Before I knew it, the girl stormed off and he pushed passed me trying to catch up to her. And I should've stopped there...right?”

 

Her eyes finally meet his with a sad smile as she recalls what happened next, “But I didn't. I chased after him. Begging him to come back, begging him to talk to me, to look at me. To say that it was all a mistake, to say that he loved me, to say that everything's going to be alright. But all he could see was her, just like I could only see him.”

 

The scene always plays in her head so vividly, but she continues calmly, “She took the elevator. Closed the doors right away probably knowing well what would happen if he caught up with her. He didn't give up. He took the stairs and like the idiot I was, I followed him. Four flights of stairs later, he managed to catch up, but she pushed him away. Saying that it was over, saying that he used her. She looked at me really sadly before sprinting out of the building. I helped him up, thinking that he was going to come home. That the nightmare was over. But he still followed her.”

 

“And before I knew it, right before my eyes, the car...” She hears tires screeching and the loud bump that ended Aaron's life in her head. “It was raining. I didn't care, because I needed to hold him. I needed to make sure he was okay. When everyone crowded in, I looked up trying to see if she came back for him. But she didn't. She never did. Not even during the funeral. It's as if she never existed.”

 

Silence then engulfs them.

 

Bambi doesn't need an answer anyway. Telling Kyungsoo is enough. She had kept it in for so long that it felt wrong not to saying anything to him.

 

“I'm sorry,” He whispers as he puts his arm around her and hers soothingly.

 

“No, I am.” She sighs leaning her head on his shoulder, “But thank you, for listening. Better late than never, huh?” She then continues, feeling a bit proud, “Do you know that this is the first time I've told that story without crying?”

 

“How many times HAVE you told this story?” He looks down, only to find the top of her head facing him.

 

“Twice.”

 

He instantly knows who she told the story to the first time. “Look Bambi, I understand completely if you don't want to tell the others, especially Sehun, but I assure you that if you at least tell Dara and Jongdae, we're all here for you. It's what you need. You can't keep handling this on your own, you know? We've got you even in the afterlife.”

 

She looks up and smiles at him warmly. “Thanks, honey.”

 

He returns her smile and pats her shoulder once more before turning to a lighter subject, “Did Amber pull the 'I'm the better best friend' card a little while ago?”

 

Bambi furrows her eyebrows, but nods yes.

 

“I KNEW she wasn't laughing at the juggling clown on TV.”

 

She laughs her heart out at how genuinely annoyed he seems.

 

He laughs along with her, glad that he's able to cheer her up somehow. Shortly after, his tone turns serious, “I did tell you he wasn't right for you, didn't I? Aaron was a great friend, a loving son and brother, but he was never a good boyfriend.”

 

“He DID love me, Kyungsoo.”

 

“I know. I'm just saying you deserved better. You still do.” He ruffles her hair as he continues amusingly, “Maybe that's why Amber had that really annoyingly tall dude move in with you.”

 

“Ew. No.” She scrunches up her nose in displeasure. “We're strictly platonic.”

 

“What?”

 

She shakes her head, knowing that she'd have to do a whole lot of explaining if she went any further. “Never mind. Ask Amber.”

 

“Well, if it means that you made a deal to never have with each other ever, then I don't need any other explanation. Thank you very much.”

 

“I never said anything about having with Amber,” She quips, batting her eyelashes innocently.

 

“Well, if it means that you and Sehun made a deal to never have with each other ever, then I don't need any other explanation. Is that good enough for you?”

 

She guffaws at the evident irritation growing inside him. “Love you, babe.”

 

“Gross.” He lets go of her and glares.

 

“Looks like you two had a good talk,” Sehun remarks, plopping on the couch nearby as Jongdae and Sandara follow.

 

“Of course! I love my little Kyungie, don't I?” She wraps both her arms around her male best friend and rubs her cheek against his shoulder.

 

“Guess you two aren't strictly platonic or JUST platonic then?” Sehun's tone is flat, his expression impassive.

 

“Oh, no. We're platonically in love. Aren't we, wittle Kyungie woongie loongie joongie woobie?” She chirps a little too near his ear.

 

“I'm only tolerating this because you're one of my best friends, you know?” Kyungsoo grumbles, but doesn't budge from her enveloped arms.

 

“Of course I do! You're my precious little baby!”

 

“You're never going to stop, are you?”

 

Jongdae frowns as he asks, “Hey, how come you never go psycho killer on her?”

 

“Because she doesn't piss me off as much as you do,” Kyungsoo snaps at his unnecessary behavior.

 

“Ouch!” Jongdae whines.

 

“Pizza's here!” Amber announces gaudily, bringing two boxes on each hand.

 

“I thought we had a bond, man,” Jongdae continues dejected, ignoring Amber completely.

 

As everyone takes their own slice of pizza, Sandara points out, “To be fair though, if you pulled the whole peeing in the sink move on me, I'd do more than go psycho killer on you.”

 

“What? Like witchcraft?” Jongdae snorts.

 

“No, of course not. I'm not stupid.” She glowers at him. “Voodoo, on the other hand...”

 

The rest exchange looks of confusion and slight fear.

 

“Okay...” Amber starts, trying to think of another subject to jump into. “So back track to our original topic. We all know that the gold digger here is Mr. Atienza. What we don't know is whether or not he's actually going to throw his pride out the window and beg the missus to not file a divorce. What would you guys bet that he would?”

 

“Five dollars?” Bambi says unsure.

 

“Two hundred dollars!” Jongdae chimes in a little too loud.

 

“My entire savings account...which doesn't amount to much.” Sehun shrugs. “But you know, it's worth a shot.”

 

“Jongdae's life,” Sandara declares without blinking an eye.

 

“Dara!” He protests with a hurt pout.

 

“What? I'm not going to bet mine!”

 

“I second that.” Kyungsoo nods in approval with a mischiveous smile.

 

Jongdae only glares at him for a moment before turning back to Sandara. “Out of the five other lives here, you're going to sacrifice MINE? Why? What about the new guy?!” He gestures towards Sehun bitterly.

 

“Because you're a sink urinator!” Sandara exclaims. “And our Sehun is a way too good looking to be taken out of this world.”

 

“She just said 'our Sehun'. Did you hear her? She just said 'our Sehun'!” The rest glance at him uninterested as they chow their food down. Jongdae's eyes avert towards the source of his misery. “A couple of yours ago, I was in YOUR place.”

 

“Welcome to the club.” Kyungsoo pats his roommate on the back, sending him a sympathetic look.

 

The rest only snicker at the sight.

 

Though Bambi later on finds herself smiling in genuine glee, she takes the time to look at each and every person present with her. Trying to remember the last time she and the gang (minus Sehun) have gathered like this was way too long ago. When she began dating Aaron, she slowly spent less time with her friends. In a way, he became her world and her everything. Nothing else mattered. Like the beginning and the end was just him.

 

She slowly realizes that the last time she ever had a serious talk with Kyungsoo, besides the one minutes ago, was more than a year ago; almost two years even.

 

It then hits her like lightning in an unexpected thunderstorm. From the start, Aaron wasn't good for her. An intoxication. A drug she indulged in every second, every minute, every waking moment of her life. A drug that she wanted to the very depths of her soul, but never needed. A drug that would've eventually killed her if she never stopped taking it. And it took her all this time to realize that. Had she really missed that much?

 

She studies Sandara closely and notices that she stopped styling her hair with curls. She turns to Amber and her multiple earrings on her left ear are nowhere to be found. Jongdae has some sort of promise ring on his right hand. And Kyungsoo, she notes in her mind, seems to be working out these days since his arms look firm and his shoulders stand out a bit more.

 

Tears well up in her eyes in both joy and sorrow. Sorrow, because it only comes to her attention now that she's neglected four of the most important people in her life. Joy, because they still stayed despite the huge amount of crap she threw their way. And it isn't too late to turn it all around.

 

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Sandara asks with puzzled eyes, but a small smile.

 

“No, yeah. I'm fine. More than okay. I'm great. I feel great.” As cheesy as it sounds... She looks at everyone once more. “I've got all I need right here.”

 

And the words that came out of couldn’t have been more right.

 

Most of her time during the past year was spent grieving over Aaron; dwelling on why he betrayed her, why he couldn't have lived even for just one day to give her a proper explanation. But what she failed to realize, up until this moment, is that the people with her already never needed to offer any sort of justification for being in her life.

 

It's simple. Mind games weren't and aren't used against her. If they laugh, they laugh. If they like what they're eating, they chow it down with glee. If one's pissing the other off, snappy remarks are exchanged. Everything complacent, everything clear.

 

She's not saying she's all of a sudden become forgiving towards Aaron's mistake. Yes, she's accepted it, but what he did isn't exactly easy to forgive; especially when she was left hanging. What's dawned on her is that, not everything was on Aaron's shoulders. He wasn't the only one to blame. She, too, had her own blunders.

 

The process will be slow, but she couldn't wait to reach the point when the thought of him no longer changed her mood drastically; no longer clouded her with complex emotions. No longer stopped her from living her life the way she blissfully has before he happened.

 

And what matters to her the most, in this moment, right in front of her, is a second family growing more and more into something she will never forget. A family that quietly helped her up and kept her sane, despite her shortcomings. And she couldn’t ask for anything else in the world.