Needless to mention, Bambi spent the next few weeks rather shaken upon her epiphany of bizarre feelings. She didn't like it. Why? Well, first of all, she avoided anything remotely romantic, especially when it came to Sehun. Second of all, she's the one who created the strictly platonic rule to begin with. Now, it seems that her own precaution towards it slapped her across the face. She really should've seen it coming.

 

What? An attractive, charming, kind, sweet, and funny (albeit so annoying most of the time) guy like that? Who wouldn't fall for him?

 

Nichole, probably.

 

Why?! She kept asking herself. Why was she so careless? Why was she so stupid? Why did her disgusting emotions get in the way of a clearly drawn platonic friendship?!

 

One thing she did manage to keep intact though, is her general sanity. Though her heart skipped several beats every time she talked to Sehun over FaceTime or any other form of communication over the phone, she maintained a cool composure. She's still herself, except this time around, she consistently goes through a mental breakdown. How she still continued to keep external Bambi normal, she'll never know; but she can hardly imagine what it'd be like to prolong the facade when her roommate gets back from Japan.

 

And when the day finally arrives around the corner, she couldn't help but internally scream bloody murder at the mess she's probably going to be if he shows the slightest bit of affection. She even makes sure to delay her return home for as long as possible. Unfortunately, the universe seems to be conspiring against her and she actually sets foot in the loft five minutes earlier than she's supposed to be.

 

It actually doesn't matter if she comes home two seconds or five hours in advance, Sehun would've arrived at least a couple of hours after she's just started work. Judging by his silence the entire time she was in the office, an uneasy lurching keeps swimming inside of her stomach.

 

“Sehun??” Bambi calls out in a seemingly empty apartment, “head???” She carefully places her bag on the kitchen counter and cautiously heads to the living room. Knowing her loftmate well, she has a hunch that he's hiding behind one of the couches. “Hunnus?????”

 

“BOO!!!!” Sehun shouts, jumping from the couch directly facing the TV.

 

She flinches at his abrupt entrance and widens her eyes. “You! !!!” She yells annoyed, trying to hold back a laugh. She then sprints towards him and hits him several times as he drowns in a sea of laughter.

 

He was second guessing himself for a second there. He thought that she would get him before he had a chance to scare her, but his instincts led him to the right path.

 

Despite her somewhat violent approach, Sehun manages to pull Bambi into a tight embrace. She reluctantly wraps her arms around him and hides a warm smile. Taking in his scent, that scent she missed so dearly, she buries her face onto his chest. There is still a hint of the cologne he loves so much and a bit of his natural body smell.

 

Just as she's about to give in to the mesmerizing aroma surrounding her, her eyes shoot up, snapping her out of her trance, and she immediately pulls away from him. “So... do you want a takeout? I can order while you unpack.”

 

Knowing him, he would've unpacked the minute he arrived in the apartment, got tired halfway, and then slept in his room for hours on end. It's a rather weird habit of his, but she finds it endearing.

 

Sehun merely nods at her proposition, well aware that if he asks for her to cook, he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with her alone.

 

After a few seconds of silence, they bubble simultaneously, “Domino's!”

 

They burst into fits of laughter as she concurs, “Okay then. Domino's, it is.”

 

“You already know what I want,” He says with a bright smile.

 

She nods happily, attempting to bite back a grin.

 

As he heads over to his room, she suddenly blurts out, “Oh and Sehun...”

 

“Hmm?” He turns to her with an eager expression.

 

I'm glad you're back. She hesitates for a moment before finally continuing, “Your hair...”

 

His eyes flutter at the sudden observation and his hand immediately fly up to his dark locks. “Yeah... I was getting sick of the blonde. I missed my natural hair color,” He explains, smiling sheepishly.

 

She nods understanding. “Cool. It looks better,” She says shortly before turning away from him.

 

And for some odd reason, they both feel tense in their secluded silence.

 

While Bambi tries her hardest to stop herself from turning both red and hot, Sehun just stares at her back, rather dazed and confused. But after a few minutes, he shrugs it off and heads to his room to unpack, convincing himself that it's only him feeling all that intensity.

 

Thankfully during the next few hours, their friends come over and ease the stenching aura around the loft. While the boys chill in the living room with their video games, the girls stay in Bambi's room, chatting about whatever comes to mind.

 

“So...” Amber starts as she looks around them cautiously, checking if there are any possible bystanders within their midst (if that's even possible). She then continues while wiggling her eyebrows, “How's the dealing with the feelings going?”

 

Not long after Bambi realized her other level of 'liking' towards Sehun, Amber had somehow found out about it through supposed best friend observation skills. It's not like she didn't always know, she just doubted Bambi's capability of stumbling upon such a well-known fact in their circle. Literally everyone knows: Kyungsoo knows, Sandara knows, Iona knows. She isn't too sure about Jongdae, but what else is new?

 

Bambi lets out a deep sigh and glares at her. “I DID say I didn't want to talk about it, didn't I?”

 

“You said you would deal with it when he got here and he's here, so I'm waiting,” Amber chides.

 

“I don't remember you being this annoying. Did you switch souls with Dara or something??” Bambi scrunches her nose in irritation as she glowers at the two with her arms folded across her chest.

 

“Oh honey, I've already done my part,” Sandara remarks with a vague smirk.

 

Bambi looks at her incredulously, rather bewildered at what her statement could possibly mean.

 

“The point is...” Amber swerves smoothly, “What are you gonna do about it?”

 

“I don't know... I mean...” Bambi stammers as her eyes meet theirs. “It's complicated, isn't it?”

 

Amber stares at her in disbelief and makes a face. “...how?”

 

“He's...my roommate,” Bambi answers and unintentionally rambles, “My best friend...but in a weird sort of way and he gets me on another level. You understand, right? Like how it's different with you and also, with Kyungsoo. I don't know...I just--I don't want to ruin that over stupid, temporary more than friends feelings for him. It's clearly infatuation and it'll come and go.”

 

“How? You literally live five feet away from each other,” Amber counters unimpressed.

 

“I don't know. Time?” Bambi replies impatiently.

 

“God, it's like playing a game of cat and mouse with these two,” Sandara mutters, rolling her eyes.

 

“What?” Bambi turns to her with a questioning look.

 

“Nothing. I don't want it to come from me.” Sandara throws her hands up with a 'none of my business' face.

 

Bambi briefly an eyebrow at her, but continues to reason out, “Besides, it's not like he feels the same way about me. I mean, look at him.” She pauses as the thought of an irritatingly fake blonde pops in her mind. “His last girlfriend is a supermodel. I'm just...me. I KNOW that I'm not ugly, but...I'm not super pretty either. Even if through some flabbergasting parallel universe way, he managed to fancy all this, I just don't see it working out.”

 

“Relationships aren't about appearances, Bambi. Trust me. I've had my fair share,” Sandara argues in the calmest tone possible, “It's about that one connection with that certain someone. It's rare to find a person you just get on with and even through all that ups and downs and opposites and similarities, you just fit. And you just know.”

 

“And you think I have THAT with Sehun?” She scoffs, “Please...”

 

“I kind of agree with her.” Amber shrugs, convinced with Sandara's contention, as she throws in an another reason of her own, “And isn't that the BEST way to enter a serious relationship? You said so yourself; that he's your best friend. So, I don't see anything wrong with you guys getting together.”

 

“You speak as if you know how he feels about me,” Bambi counters with a suspicious look.

 

“Well--”

 

“Little one!!” Sehun suddenly hollers from the kitchen.

 

Bambi sighs sharply before responding in the same tone, “Yeah?”

 

“Have you seen your Tokyo Tokyo's?” He asks in a more composed voice.

 

“My what?” She replies, unsure of the last word she heard.

 

“Your Tokyo Tokyo's.”

 

She makes a face with absolutely no recollection of any leftovers from the said restaurant. “No.”

 

“Look!” He insists. “Do you want some??”

 

Though she's initially skeptical, she inquires rather hopeful, “Is that cake??”

 

“Look!”

 

“Don't eat it! You lil' !!” She shouts with a grimace as she gets off her bed and walks to the kitchen. Amber and Sandara, though reluctant, follow her to watch what the fuss is all about.

 

As soon as she steps foot near him, Sehun smashes whipped cream on Bambi's hair. His gradually growing laughter echoes in the apartment while she frowns and glowers at him irritated. It all happened so fast, like a flash of lightning. She couldn't even begin to process what was going on.

 

The spectators, which also involved Kyungsoo and Jongdae, couldn't help but gape at the sight. Sehun told the two boys to 'just watch' before everything had unfolded right in front of their eyes.

 

“I didn't even get your face! Just your hair!” He points out in between laughs as he takes his camera from one of the cupboards, “I couldn't get it in shot. I didn't get it in the camera!”

 

“Well good, that's karma,” She says in a mild tone and heads to the sink to wash her hair.

 

“Aww. Do you want me to eat it??” He wraps one arm around her and some of the cream on her hair.

 

“No!” She protests, trying to push him away.

 

“Dear God, you guys are already acting like a couple,” Sandara murmurs at the absurdity of it all. She's slowly growing agitated of it, if she's being honest.

 

“What?” Bambi snaps as she whips her head towards the voice.

 

“The sky looks nice tonight,” Amber saves, pointing out the window.

 

Bambi's eyes then avert to the scenery outside and she immediately smiles. “It does, doesn't it?”

 

Amber mentally sighs in relief and shoots a subtle glare at Sandara. The latter only shrugs, guiltless of her deed.

 

Jongdae, who has been paying special attention to each and every person involved, thinks aloud, “I feel like I'm missing something...”

 

Kyungsoo merely holds in a snort as he pats his roommate on the back.

***

“Hey.” Sehun softly nudges Bambi by the rails of the roof terrace. “What's wrong?”

 

It takes a while for her to respond as she continues to stare off into the distance. “Nothing. Just...the usual,” She sighs with a heavy aching inside weighing her down.

 

It's been a long time since her last episode, but here it is yet again. She had it often after Aaron passed away, but she avoided it at all costs by keeping herself busy whether it be with work, multiple ual partners, or just plain wild clubbing adventures. She isn't proud of what she's done, but it took disaster after disaster to make her realize that these emotions surging all over her isn't something to run away from. Eventually, she learned to embrace it. She let it in until it seeped out of her in due time. Granted there were moments where she prolonged dealing with it, which made matters worse; but all in all, she knew that it was something she had to acknowledge and handle on her own.

 

Her friends knew, of course, but it wasn't a subject she liked to discuss often.

 

She's not going to lie. She definitely had a good time with all of them just a few minutes ago, but then the dark clouding monster hit her like a freight train. Thinking back, she guessed it was probably because of the Skins marathon they just had.

 

“Oh...” Sehun frowns, knowing exactly what's going on. He then wraps his arms around her and pulls her close to him. Slightly rocking her back and forth, he says nothing and then lets go.

 

Though surprised at his affectionate gesture, she shares an appreciative smile. As if has a life of its own, she reveals rather forlorn, “Just...watching that one episode... I remember seeing that for the first time and thinking that depression must be so...fabulous and ethereal. Almost perfectly beautiful. And that one day, a guy like Freddie would come to my rescue just when I'm on the verge of death.”

 

A sarcastic scoff escapes as she continues, “My sadness was never beautiful. It was isolation. It was constant anxiety. Wanting to know why I feel so empty. Wanting to feel something. Anything. But ending up pretending everything's fine by keeping a happy front for others. Other times, it's this heavy and heart piercing agony that won't leave me alone. Wondering if it's even worth it. If life's worth it. If I'm worth it. Constantly reminding myself that I'm never enough for anyone.”

 

They're left in stillness for awhile before he replies in the most sincere tone, “It may not be beautiful, but it's a part of who you are. And you, as a whole, are beautiful. Beyond, even. And worthy of more than you think.” His eyes linger on her profile, wondering if he had said the right thing.

 

An unexpected feeling of warmth and comfort washes over her as she gazes at him. “That's kind of you to say.”

 

He sends a small smile and continues to admire her face under the bright moonlight. “I mean it. You are ing amazing. Flaws and all.”

 

She couldn't help but look away while biting down a giddy grin. A comfortable silence takes over along with the complementing mild, chilly air around them.

 

“You know what? I did miss you,” She finally confesses, feeling a bit bold.

 

“What?” He blinks at her in disbelief.

 

“While you were gone. I missed you so much,” She answers as a wide beam forms on her face, “You're my best friend. And I'm so glad that I took the chance to trust you when I felt like I couldn't. You made me believe that possibly, maybe...people aren't as horrible as I think of them to be.”

 

Another silence engulfs the two, but this time it leaves Bambi feeling rather anxious.

 

“Oh God, please say something,” She blurts out.

 

He chuckles at how adorable her fidgeting is appearing. “Hey, you're my best friend too.”

 

“You're not just saying that because I told you to say something, are you?” She scrunches her nose in annoyance.

 

“No.” He shakes his head furiously. “I realized that when I was busy missing you too. It's why I bothered you so much. Then, FaceTime happened. I've never talked with anyone for that long. Not even Nichole. And it was light and breezy and great and I...” He stops mid-sentence, realizing that he almost confessed his feelings for her. He then continues in a drawl, “I like... That you're around, you kitty munchkin.”

 

“Kitty munchkin?” She furrows her eyebrows at the unfamiliar nickname.

 

“I came up with that when you were too busy with work,” He explains in a mocking tone, “Since you're obsessed with cats and are a lil', itty bitty one.”

 

She instantly frowns at his usual taunting. “Whatever, you giant head.”

 

“Aaaand there she is!” He laughs, pulling her into a warm hug.

 

“Ugh! Get off me!” She attempts to push his weight off her.

 

“Please. YOU MISSED ME!”

 

“Emphasize on 'SED'.”

 

“Sssshhh we mustn't be rash about such things.”

 

She then sighs in defeat and lets him hold her.

 

“How's our new neighbor by the way?” He casually asks, leaving some room for her to breathe without diminishing any of their close contact.

 

“He's alright. He spent a couple of nights here,” She replies with a shrug.

 

“WHAT?!” He exclaims a little too near her face.

 

She wrinkles her nose, but decides not to shout back. “He likes the food.”

 

“Oh.” His expression returns to normal.

 

She rolls her eyes, knowing exactly what he was thinking. “Why? You honestly think I'd sleep with him??”

 

He shrugs. “I don't know your type. You're a bit of a weirdo, you know.”

 

“What about Wongeun?!”

 

“Void.”

 

“Fine. Then, Nichole is void too.”

 

“Suits them right. They're dating.”

 

The loftmates exchange looks and instantly burst into fits of laughter at the immature turn their conversation took; proving that it doesn't really take much for them to see eye to eye. And both has never felt so much enjoyment towards each other's existence.

 

Just the two of them.