this had been given to me as the first prompt on asianfanics for a secret santa in which i participated.

- prompt details given to me on asianfanfics -
for: PraePanda
pairing: vhope, side namjin and jikook
prompt: "Have I ever told you I love you?"

finished this on 2016.12.09
was allowed to be published on 2017.01.28 (well, tbh technically i'm still not allowed. but, i kinda grew very impatient. so, here it is.)

i may or may not overdid it with the angsty part. just so typical for me. angsty all the way. yay. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Seokjin asked as he watched Hoseok sitting on the couch, who was watching the maknae line arguing on who gets to play next with their playstation. Hoseok sighed as he heard his hyung's voice, however he didn't budge to give him an answer. He knew Jin didn't like being ignored by anyone, but Hoseok really wasn't in the mood to answer any of his hyung's questions. Hell, he wasn't even in the mood to talk at all. A few seconds of silence passed by, even though the room was filled by the maknae line's arguing and the soundtrack music of the game they were, more or less, playing, however it didn't seem like Seokjin was giving up on getting an answer from Hoseok anytime soon. Hoseok let his head fall back against the backrest of the couch, closing his eyes. He felt tired and exhausted, but he didn't really care. He heard his hyung sigh and opened one of his eyes, just to find Jin still looking at him with that worried look he was gifting him so often these days. Yoongi now sitting right beside Jin, was looking at him with a mix of worry and realization. Hoseok kept looking into Seokjin's eyes for a while longer before he suddenly got up from the couch and walked over to the front door, putting on one of his jackets in the process.

"Where do you think you're going at this hour?" Seokjin called after him, the worry obvious in his voice. However, the front door shut closed right after and Seokjin was left with no answer at all. Jin stood up from the couch as well and hurriedly walked over to the window beside the front door. He took a look outside just to find Hoseok walking down the street, alone. Snow was falling outside and Jin noticed that the younger had only put on that thin jacket of his. He sighed as he lost sight of the younger's silhouette between the hundredths of snowflakes. 'I hope he won't catch a cold.' Seokjin thought as he averted his gaze from the view outside to turn around and walk back to the living room. Just as he turned around he found someone standing right in front of him and right before he walked into that sudden intruder he jumped a step back. He blinked a few times before he looked into the other's face. Namjoon. Seokjin sighed quietly before he felt the arms of the younger engulfing him into a tight embrace. Seokjin snuggled against the firm chest of the other and sighed once more, but this time rather in content than in worry, however, the worry about the younger just wouldn't vanish after all.

"He'll be alright. Give him some space." Namjoon whispered into his ear as he started caressing the older's back. Seokjin hummed at first but then pushed himself away from the younger's chest, looking up into Namjoon's eyes, which were filled with the same worry as Seokjin's were.
"He's about to ruin himself, Joonie." Seokjin whispered, scared that his apprehension would become real if he dared to speak of it any louder. Namjoon slightly shook his head, smiling slightly in order to reassure the older a little. Namjoon knew it wouldn't work, but he still tried.
"And there's nothing we can do about it." Namjoon stated shortly afterwards, still smiling at the older. Seokjin, however was sure that Namjoon wasn't right. There must be something or at least a way to help Hoseok, to get him out of his delusional state that everything would go to hell if he'd let his feelings out and make him face the truth. A truth that would change everything, but in a good way, not the one Hoseok suspected. Seokjin shook his head and walked past Namjoon and back to the living room, which was suddenly just too quiet for his liking. Namjoon sighed, following the older.

As they arrived in the living room, Seokjin came to a halt right beneath the doorframe, looking at Jimin and Jungkook who were now cuddling on the floor, the game long forgotten. Seokjin looked around the room, searching for a certain someone. Jimin as well as Jungkook noticed Seokjin looking for Taehyung and sat up, looking at the oldest all worried.
"Where is he?" Namjoon suddenly asked from behind Seokjin, hugging the older from behind him. Jungkook put his arms around Jimin's waist, pulling the older's back against his chest, leaning his chin on top of Jimin's right shoulder.
"He went back to his room after Hobi hyung left the dorm." Jimin explained, letting his head carefully fall against Jungkook's. Seokjin turned around in the embrace and looked up into Namjoon's face. He honestly was about to cry.
"So, what do you call this? He's not only destroying himself, but also Tae." Seokjin whispered, his voice wavering due to the heavily feeling in his heart. Namjoon hugged the older once more tightly against his chest, kissing the top of his forehead.

To Namjoon it was no surprise that the current situation was just the way it was. It had been obvious for years now that their cute, little Taehyung loved Hoseok with all his heart. Hell, it had even been obvious that Hoseok loved the younger just as much. But, Hoseok was a broken person, someone who promised himself to never let love anywhere near his heart. Namjoon knew about it all since he had talked about this whole situation oh so often with Hoseok. They had spent so many nights talking at the recording studio together with Yoongi, who had been the first one to ever realize everyone's feelings before everyone else did. Not believing in love, not even letting himself feel it for the shortest time was what Hoseok called 'real life'. Even when Namjoon and Yoongi told him that love doesn't have to be bound to pain Hoseok didn't listen and just kept on protecting his stubborn opinion, that love was nothing more than pain in the end. Namjoon knew Hoseok feared the pain more than anything, he was afraid of the sorrow that might be waiting ahead of him and also the darkness and the loneliness that would follow. For Hoseok it was just logical to keep himself away from love as far as possible in order to protect himself and that heart of his that was far too easily hurt.

However, the worst part about all of this was the fact that Hoseok knew Taehyung's love for him. Yet he decided to ignore the younger's feelings and rather hurt the younger instead of giving in to his own feelings. Hoseok knew how much he was hurting Taehyung. He was able to see it, every single day, with everything he did, with every time he avoided the younger just to prevent falling any deeper in love with the younger. And in the end, Taehyung started losing hope. It was obvious to all of them. Slowly but steadily the younger was drowning in the pain of his heartbroken heart and that darkness Hoseok feared so much. THough Hoseok's knowledge about the younger's love for him, Hoseok had no idea that he was the one pushing Taehyung into that darkness that he was running from.

There had been a time when Taehyung had still been listening to them whenever they tried reassuring him that Hoseok loved him just as much as he loved the older, but now he didn't even listen anymore. As soon as the others would start talking about not losing hope, Taehyung would just stand up and leave to his room or anywhere he could be alone.

ㅡ

Taehyung had stood up and returned to his room the moment Hoseok had closed the front door. Taehyung hadn't been able to stay in the living room any longer as soon as Hoseok was gone. He knew it was stupid, but he had felt like the walls were starting to creep up on him as soon as Hoseok had left that damned room. In an instant he hadn't wanted to play that game anymore since he had overheard Jin's question. Hoseok hadn't answered and that truly worried him. Taehyung had noticed the way Hoseok had become more and more quiet during the last few weeks, maybe months, and that was so unlike him. Every time Taehyung thought about Hoseok he thought of the older's bubbly self and his beautiful smile.

As soon as he had arrived in his room he had closed the door and walked over to his window. He had stared down from the firs floor, finding Hoseok standing there in the middle of the street, surrounded by all those snowflakes. Taehyung hadn't been able to stop himself from staring at his hyung, who had seemed to be frozen in time. Maybe he had been? Maybe Hoseok had been cold and had thought of just returning inside? But then suddenly Hoseok had turned around, slightly, just so he would be able to look up at Taehyung's room's window. For a moment Taehyung's world had come to a halt, even the snowflakes had seemed to fall in slow motion, far slower than they usually did. He had been staring down at Hoseok and the older had been staring up at him. He knew Hoseok had been able to see him through all those little white stars falling from the skies. They had been staring at each other for a while before Hoseok had shook his head and started walking again. Soon Taehyung had lost all sight of the older.

ㅡ

Now he was sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the same street, at the same spot, waiting for the older to return. He kept sitting there for minutes, maybe hours, waiting even though he knew the older wouldn't return until the early morning hours of the upcomingday.