FYI: this is actually based on a tumblr post. i don’t have the link, though i added a screenshot of it on wattpad.

Jungkook sighed heavily as he sat in front of his laptop, staring down at its screen as he wasn't satisfied with what was in front of him. He had been writing for the past hour, pouring out his heart in the form of many, oh so many word. He had allowed himself to let go and just put all his feelings into beautifully arranged words. Yet, nothing seemed to be exactly the way he wanted it to be. He knew exactly what he was feeling, and how it was supposed to sound written down. However, no matter how many times he changed the words, the sentences or the whole structure of the text, nothing seemed to come out as perfect. It was hard to describe a reality that was just too good to be true. It really was hard to put what he truly felt into words, as no word seemed to really define his feelings to an extent that was acceptable.

His text was indeed great, filled with emotions and energy. However, it just wasn't right. He knew he could do better. However, his eyes were already hurting from the harsh light of his laptop's light, which maybe was low-key his own fault as he refused to turn on any other light in his bedroom. He wanted his room to be dark. He needed it, as if the darkness would be able to help him focus on his feelings and just make him write down what was going on inside of him, inside every little fiber of his body and mind.

It was just so damn hard. Describing the feelings he harbored deep inside of him for his hyung, Park ing Jimin was an impossible task. How the was he supposed to do this human being justice? Was he even human? Honestly, sometimes Jungkook dared to believe his hyung was either an angel sent from heaven to guide him into the beautiful afterlife, or the incarnation of a demon, sent to torture him for the rest of his life. Maybe he was both, a nephilim. Maybe, maybe not. Jungkook had no idea, but what he knew for sure was that his feelings wouldn't stop growing for the older anytime soon and that he would probably die due to a broken heart, caused by one-sided love. Great. His future just looked like one ing rainbow.

Jimin would never know how much he loved him, and so he decided to just write it down. However, instead of just writing about a secret love, he thought it would be wise to do what many fans did: writing fanfiction. About himself. And Jimin. And what he wanted their life together to be like. And what he imagined the older would do to him. And what he would do to Jimin. And how perfect it all would be. And how Jimin would love him back unconditionally.

. He was so screwed.

He felt bad writing fanfiction, knew it was wrong, especially to write about himself and a fellow member. What if anyone would ever find about it? He would be in so, so much trouble. And his hyung would probably hate him forever. Just. Great.

Jungkook reached up to his face with both hands, rubbing at his eyes as they felt dry. A burning sensation crossed his eyes as he opened them again, which caused him to just them immediately again. He groaned once more, allowing his head to fall back against the headboard of his bed. For a moment he stared into the dark nothingness of his room, glad that he was alone and nobody could watch him. He knew his hyungs had been kinda worried about him throughout the past few weeks, but he just couldn't help himself. He loved Jimin too much and he knew he had to stay away in order to not fall any deeper and get even more ideas for cheesy fanfictions that would never come close to their reality in any way.

Apparently he forgot about staring into the darkness as he suddenly jumped as the door to his room opened and the light from outside invaded his room. He shook his head slightly before he looked towards the door, squinting slightly at the light. For a moment he had no idea who was standing there, obviously checking if he was even awake. However, in a matter of seconds he realized that it was Jimin. Honestly, how in the world was he supposed to not recognize him? Him. The reason for the hurricane wreck havocking inside him.

"Kookie, are you awake?" he heard Jimin's soft and quiet voice. Jimin was obviously worried that he had woken him up. Jungkook reached over to his bedside table to turn on the small light. He sat up again and put his laptop beside him on the bed. However, he didn't forget about slightly tilting his laptop's screen in order to prevent the older from seeing anything. Jimin honestly didn't have to know